https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 16:33:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1721516 Wed, 25 Jun 2014 15:18:50 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 1721516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: I totally understand about the decreasing betas... It was so bittersweet to see the decline. I hope your Dr appt today went well &amp; they gave you some good advice for moving forward. :goodluck: :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1719514 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 19:22:44 +0000 travelgirl1 1719514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@GoGoSnoGirl: Aw that's great that you've got a new cycle! I have all my fingers crossed that it's a good cycle and leads to a :bfp: </p> <p>I'm doing okay, thanks. Physically I've been very fortunate to have had a fairly easy time of it, from what I've heard. But it is hard. Every time I get a lower beta I feel conflicted because obviously I want it to go down so we can try again but each time it makes me so sad because the baby I lost is further and further away from me. But, tomorrow morning I'm meeting with my fertility doctor to discuss next steps. I'll be interested to see what she says. I think DH and I are happy to wait to see if I start cycling naturally until we get to 8 weeks from the date I started bleeding. If nothing has happened by then we'd like to take drugs to induce ovulation, which we haven't done before. It took me 15 months to get a period after DD was born, I'm just not young enough to wait that time again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1719423 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 18:18:30 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 1719423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: how are you doing? I'm trying to stay upbeat about starting my first normal cycle after mc &amp; really feel your pain. I'm excited to have a new cycle to start monitoring, but am also a little gun shy that it isn't as simple as just getting that BFP. I need a super-sticky rainbow baby! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1691839 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 19:30:46 +0000 travelgirl1 1691839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: That is really helpful, thank you!</p> <p>@Leialou: Big, big hugs to you, I am so sorry to see this update from you. You will get your sticky baby soon love, I am praying it is sooner rather than later :heart: </p> <p>@T-Mom: Thank you :heart: </p> <p>@swedishfish: I'm so happy about your :bfp: :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1691701 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 17:51:00 +0000 swedishfish 1691701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: @Leialou: hugs :heart: </p> <p>I was very detached from the FET process emotionally after my miscarriage in March. It took a while to process and move on from my miscarriage but focusing on preparing for the FET did help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1691693 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 17:44:12 +0000 Sprite 1691693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry for everyone's loss who has chimed in on this thread. &lt;3</p> <p>Following, because I'm in a similar situation (waiting for cycle to return after a m/c and trying to psych myself up for more rounds of injections + IUIs + stress). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1691242 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 13:56:39 +0000 T-Mom 1691242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any advice to give, just wanted to send hugs :heart: @travelgirl1: @Leialou: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1691046 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 12:54:24 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1691046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no idea. Right now I know that my baby stopped growing and I'm waiting for the bleeding to start. The idea of doing it all again is just so exhausting. </p> <p>I definitely understand what you're feeling. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1691037 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 12:50:48 +0000 Happygal 1691037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: ok! I hope I represent the book well--I obviously can't share it all, and they give a lot of examples I found helpful to model after. </p> <p>There's a very big section on worrying and all the different types of worrying that we do. I think they would categorize your concern about your period as the "what-if" thinking. </p> <p>Here's a snippet from the book: "In this sort of thinking, you scare yourself by imagining negative future scenarios. [In this case, what if my period doesn't return? What if I'm back at square one?] The problem with what-ifs is that they can snowball into catastrophic thinking and leave you feeling really bad about events that may not even occur."</p> <p>They then tell you to do the following when worrying:</p> <p>Examine the evidence--question the evidence for and against your fears. </p> <p>Generating more positive ways to look at the situation--think of other possibilities. </p> <p>Reframing your thinking--create a new thought that is hopefully happier. Actively try to substitute this thought for your worried thought if the worried thought reappears. </p> <p>I also really like their mindfulness approach (it gets a little hippie-dippy, but it makes sense to me). They say that instead of running from the pain, you turn toward it and hold it until it transforms. "The idea is to make friends with your issues rather than try to escape them....it takes you into the present, the only place where you can really live, and away from worries about the future or regrets about the past." They then give exercises for mindfulness--like breathing exercises. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1690950 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 12:18:41 +0000 travelgirl1 1690950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: That would be great, thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1690927 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 12:09:49 +0000 Happygal 1690927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: I bought an infertility help book, and they have some good advice about this type of worrying. If you're interested, I will share what they say with you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1690883 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 11:54:47 +0000 travelgirl1 1690883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PastaAndPotato: @Mrs.Someone: @Happygal: Thank you so much. I'm a bit mixed up with my feelings because in part, what is keeping me going is the thought that I will try again as soon as I'm able to.i just hope my periods come back. Maybe that"s what I am trying to get my head around, the fact that it could be going right back to square one, not just the cycle monitoring, but the whole no periods thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1690853 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 11:45:55 +0000 Happygal 1690853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you're in this position. I have never experienced a loss, so I hope you don't me responding. I did feel worn out at times with infertility treatments, and I actually had a big crying session one night b/c I just didn't know what I would do if it didn't work. I couldn't handle the idea of taking a break--I said I was going to do so more than once, but would feel like I needed to keep going. Then I scheduled surgery and we took a few months to be med-free. It was wonderful--so, so good for the body and soul. I would say that if you're feeling like you have to psych yourself up to do things again, consider taking a 1 month break and see how you feel. Just 1 month at a time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1690825 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 11:39:06 +0000 Mrs.Someone 1690825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Such a tough question... After my first loss, as sad as I was, I was a little bit encouraged that I COULD get pregnant, so I was ready to get back in the game immediately. After my second, the idea of TTC again was almost a nightmare. We took a month off for sanity, went on vacation, then got a bunch of blood tests done. It was only once I felt that we had some answers (and a plan) that I was more confident that it would all be OK. Even now, at 30w pregnant, the idea of TTC for a second (if we ever decide to) is quite scary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1690803 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 11:30:26 +0000 PastaAndPotato 1690803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>first, i am so sorry for your loss, and hope that you are healing mentally and emotionally</p> <p>i had a missed m/c of an IVF pregnancy in december at 10 weeks, and i really wasn't sure at the time if i was going to be able to face doing it all over again. we took a small break until march/april, when we finally went back to the dr to talk about our next steps. throughout the whole process, having a plan has really helped me to feel productive and less out-of-control of the situation, and that initial meeting put me back into that mindset.</p> <p>also, while i was devastated by the m/c, it was almost easier to get back into the IF treatment knowing that we had had some measure of success. the m/c occurred on my 3rd round of IVF, and i was getting near the hopeless point because he had yet to have a BFP. knowing that a BFP was at least possible made moving forward a little bit easier, despite the pain of coping with the m/c.</p> <p>wishing you the best of luck with everything moving forward :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-miscarried-after-infertility-how-did-you-psych-yourself-up-to-do-it-again#post-1690759 Tue, 10 Jun 2014 11:09:58 +0000 travelgirl1 1690759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I'm coping with my miscarriage very well but what sends my heart into the depths of despair is the thought of going through all the infertility stuff again,</p> <p>I have been very lucky. I've got PCOS but I knew about it way before we started TTC. Both times I have been to acupuncture to try get my periods back then when they did, I've done cycle monitoring at a fertility clinic. So although the pregnancies happened quickly, it was a lot of work it get to that point, months of acupuncture then the stress and exhaustion of the daily ultrasounds and blood tests.</p> <p>I don't mean this as a complaining post, it is what it is and I know others have been through far worse.</p> <p>I'm just looking to see how others coped with this. How did you gear up to do it all over again? My mum is telling me to take a break but I'm 33, time is a luxury I don't have. </p>