https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Jul 2026 06:28:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2028386 Sat, 17 Jan 2015 10:10:11 +0000 blackbird 2028386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: heh, my daughter is the opposite. Throws her dolls and plays with trains ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2028339 Sat, 17 Jan 2015 08:57:05 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2028339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: I'm glad you posted this. I'm a bit afraid of this happening with my son. I also had a friend who had a bit of emotional issues connecting with his dad because of some of this. </p> <p>Now having a boy and girl, from even a financial aspect, buying neutral toys and clothes makes sense. My daughter got a boys bike (silver and shiny blue) for Christmas because we wanted to make sure we could hand it down to our son later. </p> <p>However I do think there are natural tendencies with boys/girls. My daughter will "mother" anything (the Christmas nutcracker that looked like a pirate was immediately a baby) and we got her a train table and she wants nothing to do with it. However several little boys that come to play go nuts over the train and will turn anything into a sword. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2028336 Sat, 17 Jan 2015 08:54:41 +0000 rachiecakes 2028336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: haha my son has one of those play Target shopping carts - he pretends it's a Zamboni and "ices" our carpet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2028305 Sat, 17 Jan 2015 07:50:41 +0000 looch 2028305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is 4. He is currently playing with my vintage Barbie Dream House, alternating with a set of die cast trains.</p> <p>My view is this: if we buy our son a tool set, it's not blue or pink, because we don't have tools that look like that, we look for a set that mimics what grown up tools look like. We have a play kitchen, it's beige and red. My son has also wheeled around a pink doll stroller loaded up with rocks.</p> <p>He is what he is, no influence of mine is going to change it. I was actually surprised when he began talking about boys and girls. He very clearly says he is a boy and that I am a girl and he knows that he likes the colors pink and purple. Best thing I can do is support him in what he is, rather than try not to let him be as he identifies, if that makes sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2028251 Sat, 17 Jan 2015 00:47:50 +0000 FancyGem 2028251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son does pretty much everything my husband does. I'm trying to raise him to be true to himself. Being honest and having integrity is very important to me. We want him to be whatever he is meant to be even if that means that he is not my husband's mini me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2028245 Sat, 17 Jan 2015 00:29:13 +0000 youboots 2028245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: I'm really enjoying this post. What is the book you read? I'm not sure if it is a parenting method you may be intrested in but I really enjoy reading about slow parenting, which follows some of the same methods- encouraging the child's interests allowing them to learn on their own and solve problems. I never really thought of raising my child in a totally gender neutral home. Just a happy place where they feel encouraged to be themselves without a bunch of confusing messages from us about what the should or should not do based on gender. </p> <p>For me my biggest peeve is clothing that labels kids before the can even ready, all star, daddy's little slugger, daddy's little princess etc. I can not stand that kind of thing and won't put written labels on my child.</p> <p>Eta: obviously I am not a parent quite yet and not practicing gender neutral parenting- so sorry if I'm butting in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2028219 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 23:26:06 +0000 Ra 2028219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: That is heartbreaking. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2028213 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 23:21:29 +0000 Torchwood 2028213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ra: It's hard for me to imagine growing up in one that is accepting of those things! I'm rather jealous. :)</p> <p>It isn't just wearing pink and that sort of thing with boys too. From the time they're toddlers boys in my family are told to "man up" and literally made fun of for crying or running to their mothers when they're hurt. I don't remember if it was that bad when I was little, but seeing it now as an adult and aware of the realities of things, it's horrifying. Another reason I'm glad we're having a girl. I would so wind up in a huge fight if anyone pulled that with my son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2028211 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 23:17:56 +0000 Ra 2028211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: Ah. I forgot you had a fundamentalist upbringing. That makes sense. My parents were super lax with us and my brothers had barbies growing up and I climbed trees and played with GI Joes. I guess it's hard to imagine growing up in a scenario that isn't accepting of those things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2028204 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 23:09:13 +0000 Torchwood 2028204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ra: In my case I have to actively work to not enforce gender roles because it's so counter to how I was raised. I was given quite a bit of freedom to play with what I wanted, but my brother certainly wasn't. In general, it's more socially acceptable for girls to do boy things than vice-versa. I can remember being horrified when my stepmom's nephew was playing dress up with my little sister's princess dresses. And then rest of the family was just as disapproving. So I have to make more of an effort to not fall back into old thought patterns that I no longer approve of, especially since both of our families still feel that way very strongly. Thankfully we're having a girl so it will be less of an issue, but every single woman on my dad's side of the family is a SAHM, so we'll have to put extra effort into making sure she doesn't assume that's her only option as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2028111 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 21:20:01 +0000 Ra 2028111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Exactly.</p> <p>I feel like gender neutral parenting is simply common sense parenting. If kid is interested in something, let them be interested in it. I don't force any toy/activity on LO nor do I discourage any toy/activity (within reason, obviously). He has cars and trucks and he also has dolls and a play kitchen. He wears typical boy clothes and also rocks a ton of leggings, jeggings, and a few hot pink tees. I don't understand why anyone would have to go out of their way to purposely follow a gender neutral philosophy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027996 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 20:13:36 +0000 yoursilverlining 2027996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like this is one of those things that was never worried about before our omg-overthink-everything generation. My SAHM was/is very feminist and told me I could do anything I wanted. She also put me in ballet early, bought me barbies (tonssss of barbies!!) and Ive always been a girly girl. I also have never played stupid, have always thought I could do whatever boys could do - and did what *I* wanted. </p> <p>I was pretty "anti-princess" before LO and did limit the pink when she was born (moreso, I limited the barf-inducing "daddy's princess" crap and still do), but I've grown to see that LO can love to wear a tutu or princess dress and I can still encourage her to do whatever she loves. </p> <p>I think if you really believe in gender equality, that will come across and have an impact more than intentionally limiting wardrobe choices will. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027918 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 18:39:52 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 2027918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: ping! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027912 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 18:31:22 +0000 blackbird 2027912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: @.twist.: my s'more radar is pinging </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027910 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 18:29:46 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 2027910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: I'm a fucking lumberjack. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027897 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 18:04:33 +0000 .twist. 2027897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: You sound like a seasoned camper to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027895 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 18:02:36 +0000 loveisstrange 2027895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just let C like whatever she wants to like. Honestly, this is not something I consciously worry about from a stand-point of "oh no! we cant buy pink because then she might conform to some pre-conceived gender stereotype!" For us, it's just.... whatever. We expose her to lots of things and she liked whatever she likes. Right now, it's Doc McStuffins/doctor stuff, Mickey, trains, tools, monsters, and space stuff. She loves to build, fix, dig, and get dirty. However, she also loves pink, bows, sparkles, dolls, tutus, and princesses. She's free to have her own opinions. If she hated all girly stuff... fine. If she wanted to be 100% girly... also fine. </p> <p>We just emphasize that she is pretty AND smart AND strong. And that she can be good at anything as long as she works at it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027884 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:48:06 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 2027884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: I like eating s'mores. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027874 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:37:09 +0000 MamaG 2027874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We pretty much leave things open for LO. Her favorite color is purple and she wants to be a princess when she grows up. But she comes home covered in mud, is completely ungraceful and likes to help her Dad with everything. She also likes to put on her apron and cook us dinner.</p> <p>The only time I've corrected her on a gender issue was when she told me that she was going to be a princess because that's what girls do and boys are firemen. I let her know that she can be whatever she wants regardless. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027862 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:30:19 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2027862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel that ppl around my neck of the woods are opposite - they are sooo against pink for a girl and blue for boys that they force the issue making it an issue. I want her to learn that she can be whatever she wants and like whatever she wants (without getting judged either way). </p> <p>DD is 2.5. She likes Jake and pirates, cars, hair clips, tulle skirts, getting dirty and now her dolls. As a parent, I think it's important to introduce young kids to new things, but when they actually start to like stuff, then there's nothing wrong with that :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027858 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:25:53 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2027858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I started out like this... and then I met my girls :silly:<br /> I still try to model feminism for them in our daily lives and tell them that they can do anything they want in life. But the pink... Well, I lost that battle long ago! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027857 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:25:13 +0000 .twist. 2027857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: Do you like looking at mountains? from a hotel room? or maybe sitting by a log fire place with a cozy blanket? It all counts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027855 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:24:15 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 2027855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: glamping! But I like mountain pies. Does that count for something? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027853 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:22:25 +0000 LuLu Mom 2027853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, I feel like kids do their own thing. My daughter LOVES sports and watches with her daddy and she is a total girlie girl and loves pink and sparkles, i hate pink ;) SO she's made up her mind at 2 without being influenced by my gender roles or her fathers. I will say I might have slightly influenced her love of gymnastics, it's something i highly enjoy and i think that has rubbed off on her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027837 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:11:17 +0000 .twist. 2027837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: Camping? </p> [attach=1438/15/niaiyt.420x294.683906af169efdd7afccbff67e8fb784.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027829 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:06:20 +0000 Maysprout 2027829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're just trying to raise well rounded kids. I dressed her in a lot of hand me downs when she was little - some had a boy vibe some had a girl vibe. Lo1 is super girly though and we haven't discouraged her. My parents sometimes gave me the message that girl things are stupider than boy things and it made life a little confusing and made me feel inferior for being a girl even if I was a tomboy when I was young. </p> <p>But in general we expect our kids to get outside, do some forms of athletics, lo1 whose 3.5 now helps a bit with cooking, cleaning, and pretends to fix things along side of us. We teach her what we're doing whether it's me or my husband. She loves disney movies but often I just tell her the story and so sometimes it's the prince who falls asleep and the princess has to come save him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027820 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:01:21 +0000 wonderstruck 2027820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While I've never researched it, this is something I think about with my son, and I just make a point of following his lead on what he likes. Pretty similar to what the other girls have said already...he loves play kitchens so he got one for Christmas, his favorite character from Frozen is Anna so that's what doll he has, he wanted the Disney Princess fruit snacks because she and Elsa were on the cover and I said okay..stuff like that. I don't really comment on it one way or another. But he's only 1, so not really at the point yet where he has any awareness of the fact that other people might say princess stuff is for girls, etc.</p> <p>DH and I are kind of split on the gender stuff...I am a SAHM and he works with car parts, I like sparkles and pink but also like other styles too. We both hate sports. He has to do all of the yardwork because I'm hopeless, but I'm the one who wired our home theater system and fixes any internet issues because he is hopeless, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027804 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 16:47:26 +0000 daniellemybelle 2027804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't parent gender neutral but I will say my daughter has picked up on things from me that I find interesting. The latest is carrying a purse. She has turned any bag into a purse and carries it around saying, "Bye!" I am sure a boy would mimic this too but now my mother is planning to get a purse for Valentine's Day, so I definitely think what is modeled is learned and then reinforced. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027802 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 16:46:17 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 2027802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: I don't give this too much headspace. I'm a girly girl. I hate bugs, I won't camp, and until two summers ago I didn't know how to start a lawn mower. I'm a WAHM so I'm home with the kids all day. My oldest thinks bugs are cool and laughs at me then squishes them if I shriek. One of her favorite toys is a tool box &amp; she goes around the house with her plastic saw fixing things that daddy broke. She likes to dig in the dirt, ride her bike, wants to be a doctor when she grows up (last week she wanted to be elsa, so...) and loves my little ponys, her dress up dresses, and anything with sparkles.</p> <p>I figure she's a good mixture of both my husband and I. She spends a lot of time with both of us and is picking up on our individual likes and dislikes and what makes each of us who we are. </p> <p>She's a pretty cool kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-practice-gender-neutral-parenting#post-2027792 Fri, 16 Jan 2015 16:41:39 +0000 .twist. 2027792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I couldn't have written it better myself. </p> <p>L is already influenced a lot by his older brothers and what they like. So what I may have done differently if he was our only child has kinda gone out the window. But, it hasn't really mattered. He LOVES his cars, but he also loves to wear my jewellery. I kinda just try to let him take the lead... I think as long as you don't say stuff like "you can't do that because it's for x gender" then they will come to their own conclusions about what they like and dislike. </p>