https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 01:00:19 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2592691 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 08:40:09 +0000 lilyofthewest 2592691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My babe is 15 months and I've just begun to entertain the idea that having a second might be anything except the peak of masochism. </p> <p>I also got a high-needs, refluxy baby who didn't (still doesn't) sleep. I haven't slept for 6 hours in a row since I was about 28 weeks pregnant. I've told Sweetie we can't even talk about a second until I've had at least 3 nights of sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2592661 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 07:59:53 +0000 SweetiePie 2592661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winter_wonder: I already gave my experience but I do want to echo what others are saying - 4 months is still so early and it's HARD. 4 months was actually the peak of sucking for me. The 4 month regression hit, I was at my wits end for sleep deprivation, etc. and like @ShootingStar: said, everything felt like it would last forever and never get better. But now at 22 months I look back and think about what a blip on the radar that all was.<br /> Sure, it will definitely suck again. But now I'll have perspective about how short lived it is and it keeps getting better and better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2592643 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 07:45:57 +0000 mediagirl 2592643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>4 months is a tough time. Really. Give yourself some time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2592635 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 07:34:49 +0000 ShootingStar 2592635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As everyone else said, 4 months is SOOOO early. It may feel like you've been a parent forever, but you're still in the tiny baby stage. As LO gets older you'll be able to get more perspective on how fast the time flies, and how everything really is a phase. Right now every hard thing feels like it's going to last forever. </p> <p>You may ultimately decide 1 is right for you, or you may look back at newborn days and wonder why it felt so hard at the time! (Which is what I do, lol). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2592543 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 22:49:40 +0000 winter_wonder 2592543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: Haha yes! If I could get some kind of guarantee that the next babe would be easy peasy! I hope your DS gets easier!</p> <p> I'm feeling so much better reading these responses! Some days are just so hard!</p> <p>@sweetiepie: good luck with ivf cycle! :goodluck: </p> <p>@truthbombs: your response made me laugh out loud! Last week I kept thinking about how many people have 2+ kids just think they couldn't possibly be planned!</p> <p>@mrskoala: yay! This gives me hope </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591799 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:50:03 +0000 MrsKoala 2591799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really think that it's better to wait until your baby is at least 1-1.5 before you seriously think about another. The baby days are so rough sometimes especially with the first. I definitely did not want another child in the first year of my kid's life because he was a higher need kiddo and it was hard. I could not think about another until he became a toddler and got much easier and more communicative and I realized that parenting was actually fun and not just thankless hard work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591789 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:43:36 +0000 snowjewelz 2591789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We always want 2 kids but I'd say that throughout DD's 1st year of life, we wanted to be one and done sometimes! I think 4 months is way too early to think about a 2nd one anyway; you just got out of the 4th trimester! DD is 19 mo and we're expecting #2 when she'll be 25 mo and we're really excited! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591786 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:38:45 +0000 Truth Bombs 2591786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Give it time. For the first few month's of my first LO's life I literally could not comprehend how any one EVER had a second baby on purpose. Like, I assumed all subsequent children were obviously accidents because who the F would choose to do this again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591762 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:18:55 +0000 lovehoneybee 2591762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, but it took a while. </p> <p>During my pregnancy/after E was born both DH and I were one and done. When E was about 6 months old I started to change my mind. DH remained firmly one and done. I didn't push the issue, just asked him not to completely shut the door. I waffled a lot myself about whether or not I wanted a second. I'm sure I would have been happy with just one, but I thought I'd mourn not having a second. But it wouldn't have been a huge issue. </p> <p>When E was 2.5 DH changed his mind and decided he wanted a second. I had made peace with having one, we were in a good groove, and I was really unsure if *I* wanted a second, but it took us over a year to get pregnant with E so I figured I'd have time to get excited about it. Well we went and got pregnant on the first try, lol! DD is 7 months old now, and our family feels completely complete. DH made a joke about having a third a few days ago, and I just stared at him in horror and made a joke about Bobbiting him... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591606 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:39:38 +0000 Mae 2591606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was pregnant we planned on 2 under 2 then done. </p> <p>Then LO was REALLY hard. We were both 1 and done. </p> <p>Around a year I started thinking maaaaaybe but husband was still a definite no. Around 16 months I realized I did want another, but not badly enough that I was willing to fight about it. I told my husband I wanted another, and I wanted him to consider it. He was still thinking 1 but said he'd keep an open mind. Just this weekend at 26 mo he told me he's starting to come around to the idea of another (but isn't quite there yet). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591596 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:30:15 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2591596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: ha, I guess I'm not as strange as I thought I was! Good luck with your IVF, we will be heading down that road again ourselves (just not soon enough for me :silly: ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591585 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:11:09 +0000 SweetiePie 2591585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: I literally could have written this verbatim, except for the PROM (although we were induced unexpectedly at 37 weeks for Cholestasis).<br /> Seriously, your timeline and thought process is identical to mine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591582 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:05:53 +0000 SweetiePie 2591582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was me! I firmly wanted two, but after my son was born I was like "oh hell no, how do people ever make the conscious decision to do this again???" I felt firmly one and done till about a year. He's now 22 months and I've started wavering from about 12 months till 21 months. Now I am definitely trying for another (IVF) but I'm also ok if we end up with just one. Some days I still think "what am I doing???" But mostly I'm excited to have another.<br /> I think it's good to have doubts because if you do decide you want another you know it wasn't entered into lightly. And also, I guess we'll see if this is true, but my theory is that if it doesn't work out to have another I will be better mentally prepared for it since I was so OK with being one and done for so long. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591581 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:04:11 +0000 mfa_lady 2591581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Four months is a really tough time. If I'd gotten pregnant when DD was four months old, I swear I would have have to be institutionalized. By six months, I was thinking "Well, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I got pregnant again soon..."</p> <p>Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be the right choice for your family. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591580 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:03:58 +0000 catomd00 2591580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never knew how many kids I wanted, but there were plenty of times in the first year that I didn't think I wanted anymore, but I'm loving two. I'm open to another 1-2, we will take it one at a time, but I swore during pregnancy this was it. I was just saying today that I wake up in the morning excited to have another baby and by the end of the day I'm ready to get my tubes tied! After DD1 turned 1, I really started wanting a second.</p> <p>ETA - the second time around has been so much easier in every way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591563 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:41:06 +0000 avivoca 2591563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always wanted two, but at 4 months I could not FATHOM having another. I always thought I wanted a two-year gap, but when she turned one, we absolutely were not ready and settled on TTC for a 4 year gap. However, we had an oops and now our kids will be three years apart. All that to say, 4 months is quite young, so don't shut the door just yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591559 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:29:49 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2591559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We always wanted 2. We struggled to get pregnant, had some scary complications, DS was born suddenly at 35 weeks due to PPROM, and the first 6 months were so so difficult. I recall vehemently thinking there was NO WAY we would have another...I didn't think I could ever do the anxiety, stress, sleep deprivation, etc. again.. Now, he is 21 months and I've had baby fever for about 2 months and we are planning on another when he's in school. Somehow, looking back it doesn't seem so bad. He's so amazing and fun right now, and I can't wait for him to hopefully have a sibling. I think the newborn shell shock affected me a lot more than I expected and I don't really look forward to doing that part again, but now I really want to continue with our original plan. It's a roller coaster for the first year for sure, so I would just wait and see how you feel once you get out of the 'trenches' so to say. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591555 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:21:44 +0000 babypugs 2591555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd always wanted two but after LO was born I became ADAMANT that I was one and done. It took forever but around her second birthday I slowly started changing my mind back...I definitely haven't forgotten what a challenge the first 8-ish months were, but as time passed, I realized that it was such a short phase in the scheme of things that I would be willing to get through it a second time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591518 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 17:51:42 +0000 catlady 2591518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>From when she was born until maybe 8 months, DH and I could not even fathom having another, even though we originally wanted 2. By a year, we thought maybe to probably. Once she was 18 months, we were both ready. You'd be surprised at how things change. I wouldn't close the door yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591517 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 17:50:42 +0000 MrsADS 2591517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah. We in theory wanted 2. Our son is 11 months and I can't imagine having another. But I guess it is still early, I am not making any permanent decisions for a while.</p> <p>We love DS but he has been an incredibly difficult, high needs baby - not his fault, he has crazy bad reflux, doesn't sleep (see = uncontrolled reflux), MSPI (plus other stuff so I have been on an elimination diet for almost 11 months)... it has just been really, really, really hard. I guess everyone has a tough time but I feel like from talking to others that we've had a rougher time than most! LOL. </p> <p>And I can't imagine having another baby like him and an older child to care for. He's having a terrible reflux flare right now so we were up all night with him. It's almost 7pm and I'm still wearing my pajamas from last night which tells you how our day has gone. </p> <p>If someone could guarantee me that we would have a baby who wouldn't have all these issues, I'd definitely consider another. But I feel like the odds are against us... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591502 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 17:18:33 +0000 youboots 2591502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had talked about thinking about TTC in a year (ideal 3 year age gap) but I decided that I need more time. T is 16 months and it's been great. I just don't really want a second now. We will likely have another but for now I'm on a more permanent method of birth control. Give yourself some time. No need to make a decision now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591499 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 17:11:31 +0000 Smurfette 2591499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We talked a lot about being one and done after having her. About when she turned 2, I told DH that I wanted another, I didn't feel we were complete. Couple months later he agreed, then we talked time lines. I am due two months before her 4th bday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591493 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 16:41:22 +0000 arosebyany 2591493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 7 months and was a terrible newborn. I totally felt one and done up until about a month ago lol. I've been day dreaming about a second, it wouldn't be till DS is 4 or so, but the fact that I'm even entertaining the idea is crazy. 3 months ago I was swearing off kids forever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591492 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 16:38:39 +0000 BabyTsMom 2591492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winter_wonder: my LO is a little over 2 and no, I haven't changed my mind. before I had LO, I wanted 2 or even 3! however, I will say that 4 months is very young and you have a lot of time to change your mind! I think it's perfectly normal to go through a phase of, man the baby phase is hard and I don't think I want to do that again!<br /> In my case, there were/are other variables and I firmly believe that being one and done is the best situation for me and my family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-wanted-2-or-more-kids-and-now-want-to-be-one-and-done#post-2591474 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 15:06:40 +0000 winter_wonder 2591474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did you change your mind when LO was older?</p> <p>DD is 4 months. We love her to pieces but she has been such a challenge! We're now thinking we might be one and done. </p>