https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 18:28:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154382 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 14:14:08 +0000 littleredhairedgrl 2154382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we were thinking about just 1, with all that we went thru with my pregnancy with A we couldn't imagine doing it again, and then whoops.. expecting #2 in November and starting to get pretty excited about A having someone to play with :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154355 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 14:03:50 +0000 sorrycharlie 2154355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went for it. She's the best. I'm obviously glad we did ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154242 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 13:06:13 +0000 kiddosc 2154242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't look forward to the newborn sleeplessness and the toddler tantrums, but when I think about our lives far into the future I want there to be another one. I can't imagine holidays with just one child and don't want E to have to manage our care/estate alone when we get older. DH really worried about change, and finances and how E will adapt... but not having another just seemed like a permanent solution to temporary problems to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154230 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:59:46 +0000 cascademom 2154230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We weren't on the fence necessarily. It was more of a matter of timing for us. I worked hard to lose weight to prepare for pregnancy for about a year. After doing that, we decided a date to go off birth control (a friend's wedding). In the end, our timing on it is perfect. My maternity leave got extended last month and there will be a 3 year age gap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154228 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:59:13 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2154228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We "decided" to try a few months ago and I've joined every monthly TTC board since, but our timing's off and we've been so very busy. But every month at cycle day 1, we talk briefly about how we're really going to TTC, then I join the new monthly boards, then we get busy and miss all the right days. </p> <p>I also tell myself how fleeting the no-sleep days are, but it feels sooooo good to sleep. I told myself not to joint his month's TTC boards ... but yesterday I saw the cutest baby and for a second, I convinced myself how wonderful it would be. I'm a mess :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154222 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:54:13 +0000 Mrs. Milk 2154222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ahaha yes! My 'readiness' is 100% correlated to how well W is sleeping. We decided to table it until W is about 3 and potty trained and more independent. I want to be sure I feel ready for the sleepless newborn days and have given W a good deal of 1:1 time beforehand! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154217 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:50:44 +0000 catlady 2154217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've recently come off the fence. I can make a very strong logical case to myself for being one and done, but I kept feeling like I would regret not having another. I finally had to come to terms with the fact that I just want another child, pure and simple. I love our little family of three, but I just envision us as four in the future. I'm not psyched about the newborn stage again but now that I'm more experienced, I know I can handle it and I know how fast the time flies. DH was basically ok with either one or two, so he's on board for another, and that helps too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154213 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:48:09 +0000 mediagirl 2154213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have an almost 3 year old only right now and we're pretty sure we're staying there. I honestly cannot handle another 9 months of pregnancy and working and another 10 months of working and pumping. It's just impossible for me right now with my current work situation (absolutely no flexibility whatsoever). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154204 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:42:14 +0000 deerylou 2154204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're about 75% off the fence about having another. I actually wanted up to four children before we had our daughter, but found myself feeling solid about potentially being one and done, right around her first birthday. </p> <p>I can't really put my finger on it. I didn't have a particularly traumatic pregnancy or birth, and DD was, in retrospect, a laid back, happy infant. My disappointing breastfeeding journey was an emotional hurdle, and is the only part of the early days I'm hesitant to ever revisit. I suppose I just felt (and still feel) pretty darn complete. Recently, I've found myself wanting to add to our family, and my husband feels similarly. However, further stretching our dollar, free time, and potentially rearranging academic/career plans still keeps me straddling that darn fence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154202 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:40:52 +0000 Anagram 2154202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wasn't on the fence about having a second--but I was really on the fence about being pregnant again and having a newborn again, haha. As other PPs have said, the newborn days are not my favorite--and you can add the entire 10 months of pregnancy to that, too. So it's a long time of somewhat-misery to have another child.</p> <p>Having said that, I figure in 30 years, it will be a blip on the radar of my life. I knew we wanted at least two, so DH and I both decided we wanted to 'get it over with' rather than having a longer space between kiddos.</p> <p>We still sometimes talk about having a third, but I have always wanted to adopt (even before I met DH) and recently, his closest cousin adopted and now DH is starting to come around on that. So in a few years, we might look into adopting through the foster care system. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154196 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:37:59 +0000 sarac 2154196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got off the fence by finally getting pregnant after three years of not preventing. I'd actually decided I was done, but my husband was just heartbroken by that, so we were at a bit of a stalemate. I'm pleased with how it's turned out, though, and now that much of the pregnancy is behind me (and it wasn't terrible at all, which was most of my hesitation), I'm getting really excited. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154190 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:30:24 +0000 Torchwood 2154190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure we quite fit who you were asking, since we don't have a LO here yet. But we recently changed our minds (okay, I changed my mind) and now plan to be one and done. DH was always fine with one, and I was the one wanting two (which he was willing to do, but it's wasn't his first choice), so it was on me. Reading a thread on here about why people chose to only have one really made me question why I wanted two. And I realized that I basically had no real reasons beyond the fact that as an only I'd always assumed I'd have more. I think the fact that my mom always wished she'd been able to have more probably influenced that. I wound up with this huge list of reasons why I would much rather stop at one, and basically no reasons why I would want two. I'm thinking once LO is here, and I'm not sleep deprived, there may wind up being an emotional component, where I want another baby just because. But I feel pretty strongly that that won't outweigh my reasons to not. I did a (long) blog post on it, so if you're interested in seeing my actual reasons, I can wall you with the link. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154187 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:27:36 +0000 lawbee11 2154187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was on the fence while I was pregnant and shortly after LO's birth. I come from a family of 2 kids so I always imagined I'd have 2 myself. My DH has children from a previous marriage, so LO does have half-siblings. Her crappy sleep combined with feelings of completeness are what pushed me over. I didn't want to have another LO just because it's what I grew up with and was used to. I felt complete with our daughter. I also never realized how expensive children were, so LO will have a lot more opportunities for activities and travel this way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154169 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:12:32 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2154169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If there were a way to just pop out a one year old, I totally would. Having to have a newborn is literally the only thing on the "con" side of our pro/con list on having #2. I'm so in love with my daughter, but the little baby stage was not my favorite and I definitely don't have baby fever!</p> <p>We have friends who have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and seeing them together recently was what got us to start TTC #2. I agree with some previous posts that our inspiration is really "We always said we wanted two, and we'll regret not trying." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154166 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:11:07 +0000 Anya 2154166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following, because I'm completely straddling the fence as well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154161 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:05:43 +0000 Adira 2154161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were never really on the fence because we always planned and were committed to having two. But definitely after number one, we didn't feel that excitement that we felt when we were thinking about trying and then actually trying for number one. The whole process was more like "Well, we said we'd do this and I think we'll regret not doing this, so let's just do it and hope for the best." Now that our family of four is complete, I have zero regrets! But it definitely was an entirely different experience and set of emotions planning for #2 vs #1. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154157 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:03:24 +0000 Pirouette 2154157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>definitely a direct correlation on sleep!!! having 2 definitely makes me nervous, but i know i do want LO to have a sibling and that was the deciding factor for us. that said, i probably won't be ready for 2 until i meet #2 (hopefully i will be ready then :wink: ). then again i think i was that way with #1 too. I'm just not the type to get baby fever i guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154151 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 11:56:23 +0000 BananaPancakes 2154151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're still on the fence, but I think our on-the-fenceness relates directly to illness at this point. DS is always freaking sick and I seriously have no idea how people with more than 1 child deal with it. I'm already so behind at work from being out with him. If I make it to work a full week, it's a miracle. I think it's going to just take a leap of faith. Maybe next year ( I keep saying that). Ha Ha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154148 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 11:55:27 +0000 catomd00 2154148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally get it! We aren't on the fence because there will be more Haha but I still can't fathom having another some days. And other days I can't wait to have one. I felt the same way about #1 though so hopefully it will work out to be better then I'd imagined like #1 did! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154142 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 11:52:27 +0000 snowjewelz 2154142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it directly relates to sleep too! On the days she sleeps well I'm like, alright, I can do this again! On the days that I'm so sleep deprived I tell myself I never want to do this again haha! </p> <p>But technically I'm not really on the fence since we'll def go to #2 eventually... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154085 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 11:19:34 +0000 lovehoneybee 2154085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We finally decided on two. Or rather, D changed his mind about being one and done and I took a leap of faith (I was on the fence when he decided). I think it's a lot scarier making the decision the second time around, because the first time you have no idea what you're really in for! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154079 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 11:18:09 +0000 JoJoGirl 2154079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just got off the fence! Basically I hate babies, haha. Once LO started getting more interactive and fun, talking, and most importantly, SLEEPING, we realized how awesome it is having kids and want more. She'll be 2 next week so we're almost ready to start TTC. Need to get finances in order first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-on-the-fence#post-2154077 Thu, 23 Apr 2015 11:15:27 +0000 Applesandbananas 2154077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>About 1 vs 2, what did you ultimately decide?</p> <p>With LO, I was so sure about it! I was ready, DH was ready, the timing was great, etc. and it's been wonderful--bumpy of course, challenging, of course, but I love being a mom!</p> <p>With the conversation of 2, I'm not as sure! Some days, I'm so gung-ho about it, other days, I can't fathom how anyone could possibly have 2 kids (direct correlation to how much sleeping LO is getting lol!) I know the early, tough days are so fleeting and the reward of surviving those days is a lifetime as a family of 4, but not feeling as sure this time around makes me nervous! </p>