https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 22:51:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/3#post-2313995 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 17:02:44 +0000 leighleigh 2313995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up Catholic and was never entirely 'on board' but went through all the motions anyway, mainly because my dad preferred I did so (my mom wasn't as religious, and they split up when I was young so all the church activities were encouraged by him). As I got older, I started just having a hard time being such a blind follower, for lack of a better way to say it. Because of science, because of some of the corruption that goes on in these churches, because of the very unforgiving and unfair judgment of many conservative people--just turned me off. That being said, I do still pray. I like to believe in a higher power, but to believe so strongly in the bible and adhere to all the contingencies in such a strict way is really unrealistic to me. I guess now in my older age, I'm just "spiritual". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/3#post-2313979 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 16:41:56 +0000 Torchwood 2313979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: Your story is very similar to mine! It's tough being in the south especially. But I think you're totally right to wait until you're ready to "come out." No one actually needs to know- do what's right for you! My family wasn't too bad with coming out atheist though. I know it upset them and they worry about me going to hell, but overall it hasn't impacted our relationships much. Though I will say that my mom pulled the "once saved, always saved" card, so she thinks I'm still going to heaven. Which I find simultaneously annoying (it feels like she doesn't care what I say/believe) and a relief (since I'd hate for her to be constantly worrying about her only child burning in hell for eternity 😐). The only thing that's sucked is that my dad and stepmom banned me from telling my little brother and sister. But my sister will be 18 in 2 years, and after that they can't stop me. I won't bring it up, but if she asks I'm being honest. I think it'll backfire on them- she's the sort to be upset that they kept it from her. I'm pretty sure they didn't tell them what really happened to R either, so the first time my sister tries to pull some pro-life crap, that's gonna come out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/3#post-2313964 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 16:19:33 +0000 travellingbee 2313964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: I can relate to your story so much!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/3#post-2313959 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 16:14:21 +0000 rosegold 2313959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coopsmama: i think i fall unde the agnostic category. am i the only raised Jehovah's Witness? my childhood was church three days a week, no holidays and an endless droning of "how does that make God feel?" </p> <p>my parents splitting up at 7 changed my life pretty drastically. i moved cross country in my teens but truthfully I didn't consider my spiritual side until I had my children. my life is a blessing, but I am not one to say by whom or what. dh was raised catholic and we have a bit of a laugh bumping beliefs or experiences off of one another. </p> <p>i'm not particularly religious or God-fearing but i believe in appreciating the gift of life and giving special thanks to the beauty that is around us. our family, friends, the opportunities we experience individually and together. i don't think we are ever to know "the truth" and will never commit to an organized and/or profiting group that pertains to religion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/3#post-2313878 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 15:08:00 +0000 .twist. 2313878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: I hid my feelings for a LONG time. I don't think that's a bad thing. I didn't want to argue about it. My parents believed what they believe and I wasn't going to convince them otherwise and they weren't going to convince me otherwise. What's the point of that argument? </p> <p>Even while my dad was dying, he told me all about how he would watch over me and take care of us and that he just <i>knew</i> he was going somewhere peaceful because he'd seen it before. I just went along with it because it comforted him and I do truly hope he's at peace. </p> <p>I love those people, I don't care what they believe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/3#post-2313870 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 15:04:53 +0000 runnerd 2313870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: haha thanks I still don't feel very brave since I am hiding my conclusions from my family :)</p> <p> @thismustbetheplace: wow I can't even imagine!</p> <p>my brother is an open atheist so every time he is mentioned everyone reminds me to pray for his soul over the past 10 years - now that I've crossed to his side I can't imagine being the lone descender all these years </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/3#post-2313854 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 14:55:42 +0000 thismustbetheplace 2313854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: It brought my mom closer to the church. She found solace and peace (which in a way I'm happy for, everyone responds differently to trauma). My dad has never spoken about it and still attends church regularly with my mom. If I were to guess I believe he is just going through the motions because that's what they've always done together.. but like I said we don't discuss it. Religion has obviously become a touchy issue in my family </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/3#post-2313844 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 14:52:23 +0000 .twist. 2313844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@thismustbetheplace: Woah. That must have been pretty traumatic. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/3#post-2313840 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 14:51:19 +0000 JoJoGirl 2313840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@thismustbetheplace: Oh holy crap. :( Your parents weren't equally horrified by what happened with your uncle!? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/3#post-2313832 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 14:47:23 +0000 thismustbetheplace 2313832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Never thought I'd be discussing this on the bee, but if it was asked... </p> <p>We were raised strict Catholic. Church every Sunday, youth groups, mission trips, etc. </p> <p>12 years ago my uncle 'snapped' and murdered my cousins after a tough custody battle with my Aunt. He said he was saving them. Buried them in a shallow grave with duct tape crosses on their chests. In jail (awaiting trial) he was known for teaching the bible and leading prayer groups etc. It completely rocked my world that the higher power I trusted so completely would let something like that happen seemingly in his name. Or even if it wasn't truly in his name, than by someone he knowingly and intentionally created. </p> <p>Right around that time I signed up for and took my first evolutionary biology class in college. I didn't dare tell my parents but I'm so glad that I did it. Turns out there were so many more answers out there than the words written in the bible. I haven't looked back. I know my parents worry about my soul and that makes me so sad. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-2313819 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 14:41:11 +0000 JoJoGirl 2313819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: Just wanted to applaud your bravery in working through these super hard questions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-2313758 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 14:10:07 +0000 runnerd 2313758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This thread is really old, but thought I'd add my story - so I actually was just "losing my faith" when this was originally posted, and read every comment while I worked through things.</p> <p>I was raised in a very evangelical, "fire and brimstone" sort of Christianity. The typically gays are sinners, abortions should be outlawed, drinking is a sin, liberals are conforming to the world instead of God's word kind of thing. </p> <p>I always felt like I lacked the same passion as others for God and the Bible and constantly carried guilt and made plans to become a "better Christian". I began slowly to accept more liberal Christian views as an adult, but have always been mum about it around my family, and felt no need to debate them.</p> <p>Last fall, when I would try to read the "my first Bible" we were gifted to my son, I realized I do not believe this. I do not feel like I can read this to my son. It sent me into spiral where I researched for hours a day about science, evolution, the Bible's history, Christianity, etc. Finally the fear of "blasphemy - the one unforgivable sin" wasn't enough to keep me from researching deconversion stories, agnostics and atheists. I watched debate after debate. I finally felt 100% confident that I did not find there Bible's divinity to be there, and if I don't think it's God's word - then why would I live my life based on a book written for a people with an agenda centuries ago? I am somewhere between agnostic/atheist/humanist - basically I don't have the answers, but I don't believe in a personal God that is invested in my every action. </p> <p>I have not been brave enough to tell my family, but I know it will come up because of my son. I have only told a handful of family members and friends that I knew already were atheists. Living in the south, religion is everywhere and it tends to be conservative, indoctrinated, and fundamental. I hope one day to be confident enough to not feel worry discussing this with those around me. I feel pretty strongly that I carried my beliefs as long as I did because of the fear of hell from that being discussed so much when I was a child in church.</p> <p>The world seems so much more exciting and amazing now than it ever did when I tried to make sense of it through the context of the Bible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1969010 Wed, 03 Dec 2014 11:37:15 +0000 anandam 1969010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was born Catholic and skeptical like @wonderstruck: and @jedeve: and held tight to the struggle to believe until my early 20s. Sexuality was the main point of division - I believed the Church teaching but got so down on myself because I could not live up to it. Weekly confession for unchaste behavior (with my boyfriend) wore me down and when we broke up I decided I could live more happily without God, too. </p> <p>I felt so freed up to spend my time/energy/passion on the here and now rather than bothering with the unseen. But over time I became more and more inwardly hostile toward religion and religious people, felt superiorly enlightened in my atheism, etc, and decided that wasn't working, either, but I still wasn't down with God, so I stayed in unsatisfying limbo for a few years.</p> <p>Until I went through a serious crisis in a romantic relationship that secular therapy wouldn't help and in our desperation we tried prayer, after which a series of incredible things happened that made me somewhat faithful again. Now I'm back to the Catholic church but with looser expectations of myself and others than I had before. It's working for now. Hypocrisy doesn't bother me. I'm pretty sure we're all "hypocrites," failing often to live up to our own ideals. That's humanity. From my experience there's room for that in religion. That may even be the whole point! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1968798 Wed, 03 Dec 2014 09:41:20 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 1968798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lawbee11: Here's the thread - <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-god-delusion-book-discussion" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-god-delusion-book-discussion</a> :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1968782 Wed, 03 Dec 2014 09:31:29 +0000 lawbee11 1968782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: @hilsy85: My DH is an atheist Jew :) </p> <p>@TemperanceBrennan: Yes, that would be great! My DH has actually read it and has it on his Kindle so I'm going to start reading it tonight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1968776 Wed, 03 Dec 2014 09:29:13 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 1968776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a work trip yesterday, and because of this thread I borrowed the God Delusion on audiobook and listened to it on my 6+ hour drive yesterday. I'd read it many years ago and I really enjoyed re-reading (re-listening?) to it. </p> <p>@lawbee11: @Torchwood: @Mrs. Twine: @PurplePeony: I'll start a discussion thread if people will participate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1968757 Wed, 03 Dec 2014 09:19:17 +0000 hilsy85 1968757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: totally agree. For me, Judaism is more of a culture than a religion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1968707 Wed, 03 Dec 2014 08:37:16 +0000 MrsKRB 1968707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: I had the same experience.</p> <p>My parents were raised Catholic, but did not raise us with any religion. I went to church with friends maybe twice. I was completely against religion, would roll my eyes when I came across anything religious and could not fathom that 1 man created the world. However, as cliche as it sounds, I always felt like something was missing, I didn't feel 'complete.' </p> <p>I'm not sure how I started to transition to Christianity, but it was around the time I started working in a Catholic hospital. I started reading 'She Reads Truth' and the bible, and something just clicked. It goes against all my logic, but the faith is there. I haven't joined a church because I don't really agree with all their beliefs, but I wouldconsider it in the future if I found the right fit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1968617 Wed, 03 Dec 2014 02:25:21 +0000 PurplePeony 1968617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: @lawbee11: @Mrs. Twine: I was already a pretty firm agnostic when I read The God Delusion, and while I wouldn't say it immediately moved me along the scale to full-fledged atheism, it definitely made me think. A lot. And eventually, I did keep drifting further and further away from thinking "I don't know and I don't really care if a god exists" to "the idea of a god is just too far-fetched and illogical for me to give any credence." So I guess it was a turning point for me, too, but in a much more organic way. It's a great book. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1968328 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 19:54:53 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1968328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: @lawbee11: The God Delusion was pretty seminal in my own transition from agnosticism to atheism. It is a good read. It might be fun to have a discussion forum or something!</p> <p>@Anagram: Your experience feels very similar to my own. I think one of the hugest turning points for me was really seeing so much evidence indicating the socio-political bent of basically all religious writings. Following the trajectory of many religious teachings show how they reflect the predominant culture of that time and place. Which just seems way too arbitraty to me to be from "God." I will grant that maybe that has more to do with people corrupting a religious message-- I don't put much past people and concede that we are capable of all sorts of not-nice stuff-- but I just see more evidence that religion is a human construct and less that there is a "God" in the way that most religions know one. </p> <p>My largest personal struggle comes from the idea that maybe nothing comes next. I feel it is less being scared to die, and more feeling that, for someone who has an unfair or pain-filled life, it is just incredibly unfair. That, for me, is hard to accept. Because I did absolutely nothing to deserve living the life I have versus being, say, raped and murdered. Or being the victim of a war crime. So I am still pondering that and trying to make my peace with it. </p> <p>I will also say that I am drawn to Buddhism, and very curious about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1968310 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 19:30:24 +0000 lawbee11 1968310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: That would be awesome! Let me know if it's there and if it is I'll post my mailing info on your wall. Thank you!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1968246 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 18:24:17 +0000 Torchwood 1968246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lawbee11: It's a really good book. He doesn't pull any punches, but he's not as angry and snarky as Christopher Hitchens and some of the others. And this might be slightly weird to offer but there's a copy at the library book sale that I volunteer with. The book sale is getting shut down, so it'll probably just wind up in recycling. So if you wouldn't think it was super weird to give me your address I'd be happy to grab it (assuming it's still there next week when I go in) and send it to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1968057 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 16:31:45 +0000 coopsmama 1968057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: I'd love to hear how you made that switch and why it came about if you'd like to share! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1968054 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 16:30:12 +0000 pui 1968054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm the reverse. I was atheist most of my life (parents are atheist) and I became Christian when I was 21 (I am 27 now). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1967997 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 16:02:22 +0000 jedeve 1967997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: I am a practicing Catholic but I very much relate to your post. I think belief isn't really something you can force, like how you can't will your self to fall in love with someone or understand Calculus. So some days I practice with more doubts than belief and some days vice versa. Buy I've come to accept that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1967974 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 15:50:23 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1967974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coopsmama: I think just knowing what church "is." I feel like I have a more informed opinion since I've experienced it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1967971 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 15:47:28 +0000 farawayyama 1967971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was raised in a very devout evangelical/ born again household. My grandparents were pastors/ missionaries, and our household revolved a lot around our beliefs. When I was 14 I chose to follow 100% and was very committed. I attended church and youth events multiple times a week, regularly prayed and read my bible, went to any conference I could go to and transferred to Christian school. </p> <p>In my teens I decided to be a long term missionary. This is why I initially chose teaching - it is a useful skill for missions (thankfully I still love education!) This conviction stayed strong until my early mid-20s, and between age 18 and 24 I went on 4 missions trips to Asia and the Middle East in preparation.</p> <p>When I was about 23 was when the walls of my carefully constructed faith began to crumble. I went on an around the world trip/working holiday, and had discussions that exposed me to ideas I hadn't been previously exposed to.</p> <p>At the same time, I started to struggle with doctrines and beliefs I had been taught when they contradicted what I deep down believed, eg I had no issue with gay people, and was interested in other faiths without seeing them as wrong or demonic. I struggled for a long time over these things.</p> <p>When I got home, I started to notice things I hadn't before. I saw how judgmental so many Christians were and this made me question the foundation of faith. Not that a person being judgmental discredits a faith, but that these people were the ones going to heaven and some of the most awesome, loving, most generous people I knew were going to hell because they didn't believe, especially when I realized that a lot of the reasons people were put off were because of Christian judgment. This just seemed so wrong.</p> <p>Also, the more I studied science, the harder it was for me to believe creationism. I tried. I really, really tried, but I just couldn't.</p> <p>I also was working on some graduate theology in training to be a missionary. The deeper in I got, the more it seemed senseless. I could argue it well, but it seemed futile.</p> <p>When I was 24, I moved to Japan to each English. It was when I arrived and I was no longer living in a Christian bubble that it really crumbled. I realized it would be dishonest to keep trying so hard to believe when I knew deep down I didn't. When something is part of your identity so strongly, it is hard to let go. Letting go of my faith was the hardest decision of my life.</p> <p>I don't hold any animosity toward Christianity anymore, I just don't believe. I identify more as agnostic. Also, DH was raised Mormon but is now a non believer - I think his journey was a lot more organic, just realizing he didn't believe the older he got.</p> <p>Sorry. Bit of an essay :p </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1967164 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 10:38:14 +0000 fairy 1967164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, my husband is very atheist to the point of being anti-theist and says he can't wait till we are all past religion. He grew up around church and as a kid said he would repeat what his mom told him or what he learned at church, and strangely he even still enjoys church music. But he has always been logical/scientifically minded and in his mind it is not logical to believe in God/afterlife. I know there are arguments that it can be logical, but he doesn't think so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1967151 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 10:31:20 +0000 .twist. 1967151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: I believe I kind of touched on it briefly in my comment, but maybe just not very clearly? Anyway, I just wanted to address your last paragraph. It was definitely an evolution of things for me. Peoples behaviour definitely did turn me off of Christianity/Catholicism. Although the main thing I eventually realized was that I just didn't believe in anything I was being taught, none of it made sense. Having people treat me terribly only made me question things more and do more research, which only confirmed my own personal thoughts on the matter! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-religious-but-are-now-atheist/page/2#post-1967131 Tue, 02 Dec 2014 10:25:37 +0000 lawbee11 1967131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: I'm going to add The God Delusion to my reading list. Maybe I'll see if DH wants to read it as well...we discuss religion often and that book sounds like it would be right up our alley! </p>