https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 12:04:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from/page/2#post-156165 Fri, 11 May 2012 16:23:10 +0000 mediagirl 156165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We would probably adopt domestically. I think it's a wonderful thing. If we could afford to do so and afford for me to stay home, I think it would be above trying for another baby at this point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-156110 Fri, 11 May 2012 15:24:28 +0000 Mrs. Train 156110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Jacks. It was unfortunate. The birth father had ignored all calls from the birth mother and her family. So everyone thought he was out of the picture. He was until he received the paper work. Then he came forward. It was a mess. Like I said though still worth it! I would go through anything for my little guy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-156105 Fri, 11 May 2012 15:21:20 +0000 daniellemybelle 156105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: That's interesting to find out. I'll admit I don't have a lot to base it on, but I felt like much more open adoptions were more the norm, with regular visits and that sort of thing. Monthly pictures and letters through the agency sounds perfect to me - but who knows if once we adopted, I'd want to open it up more!</p> <p>This is an interesting discussion... there was a time I wasn't sure I even wanted biological children, but just wanted to adopt. Now I feel that biological urge to procreate a lot more, and I know if we are unable to conceive, I will really seriously mourn those biological children. Now my hope is a couple kids the old-fashioned way, and then adoption. But DH always says that once we have kids, we have to be sure that we are making the right choice for our family before we adopt. So we'll see! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-156092 Fri, 11 May 2012 15:13:50 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 156092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Oceanis723: That sounds bad! I'm sorry you've had to go through that. We were only open to situations where both parents were on the same page about parenting or relinquishing... The only blip we had was with one of the GMs... and she came around in the end. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-156072 Fri, 11 May 2012 15:03:52 +0000 Mrs. Train 156072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably be the example of a stressful open adoption. Two days after we brought our little guy home the father contested. The birth mother wanted to continue the adoption so we ended up in the courts where we had to pay and every one else got court appointed lawyers. During the process horrible things were said to and about us yet we were not making any of the decisions. In the end our three visits are court ordered. I have been trying to change and open my heart but I was so hurt during the process. </p> <p>That being said I would absolutely do it all over again because my son is worth it and adoption is a blessing. I mever feel like im sharing him with another mother. I am his mommy and nothing can change that. Our case is very rare. They said they get less than one a year at our agency that is contested. And most are just letters and pictures through the agency. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-156020 Fri, 11 May 2012 14:23:44 +0000 emg86 156020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Our home study was just approved and we are working on our profile book! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-156005 Fri, 11 May 2012 14:06:14 +0000 Foodnerd81 156005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If we couldn't have a biological kid, we would try to adopt domestically. It's not that we 'need to have an American baby', more that it seems like every day you hear some new story about international adoptions that were totally shady and I don't know if I could deal with weeding out the right agencies, etc. (NOT saying they all are, you just only hear the sensational bad news stories). I also like the idea of helping kids in our country first, but I also would want an infant, not an older child. We wouldn't care about race (we are both white).<br /> I actually did think about this a lot after reading Mrs. Jack's posts about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155962 Fri, 11 May 2012 13:41:35 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 155962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: They are the most common form of "open" in my agency, actually... and in fact, that's the stage that we're in. We do pictures and letters once a month right now through the agency as intermediary, but we'd love to open it up more. I think it takes a lot of mystery out of it for the adoptee and it's no more sharing than sharing with Grandma or Auntie Jen (at least that's how I see it right now).</p> <p>I think in order to place a child, birthmoms end up developing super clear cut emotional boundaries. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155952 Fri, 11 May 2012 13:37:57 +0000 daniellemybelle 155952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I know, and that's awesome! I'm sure my feelings on this will grow and change as time goes on, and if and when we ever actually get involved in the adoption triad. But my reason right now is pretty selfish - I don't know that I could "share" our LO. I worry that it would be too painful or stressful to deal with ongoing contact. I know closed adoptions are not great for the whole triad, but I would prefer a semi-open adoption where the only contact is letters/pictures/etc. until the child is 18. It seems like those situations are very rare domestically. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155924 Fri, 11 May 2012 13:15:58 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 155924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: what makes you hesitant about open adoption? Ours has been really lovely, and in fact we wish we had more contact! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155909 Fri, 11 May 2012 12:57:55 +0000 Mrs. Train 155909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I adopted domestically. We brought our little boy home from the hospital. We also have an open adoption. My son sees his birth parents three times a year (separately, as they are no longer together) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155907 Fri, 11 May 2012 12:56:07 +0000 plantains 155907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: we would do the same. I would love to adopt a Nigerian kiddo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155876 Fri, 11 May 2012 12:33:47 +0000 daniellemybelle 155876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really want to adopt domestically, and because DH is African-American and I am Hispanic, we would want to adopt a biracial or African-American child. We would also be willing to adopt a toddler, but I am very hesitant about open adoption, so I'm not sure what our options are domestically. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155833 Fri, 11 May 2012 12:16:02 +0000 MusicaV 155833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know a lot about the process, but I would probably adopt domestically. I've heard about a few people who adopted internationally, and it sounds very challenging. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155724 Fri, 11 May 2012 11:11:54 +0000 cyneswith 155724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends. I want two biological kids. If they are a boy and a girl, then we might end up adopting a slightly older kid domestically, since we wouldn't care about gender (not older than our bio-kids, though.) If they are two boys, we'd probably try to adopt a girl from India. If they are two girls, we'd adopt a boy, possibly from somewhere in Africa (Ethiopia is the likely candidate.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155709 Fri, 11 May 2012 11:03:36 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 155709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I have talked about this and we would adopt domestically. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155698 Fri, 11 May 2012 10:57:44 +0000 shinystraps 155698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We plan to adopt domestically if we can and internationally - I have siblings adopted from Ethiopia so it has a really special place in my heart. As does Haiti, where we nearly adopted two little girls from until policies of the Haitian government changed at the last minute. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155424 Fri, 11 May 2012 09:02:38 +0000 Costello 155424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We decided on domestic adoption fairly quickly. Regrettably, our situation has some complications that would make international adoption very challenging. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155384 Fri, 11 May 2012 08:46:43 +0000 mrs. wagon 155384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: @looch: I'm positive North Korea doesn't do adoptions... they won't let ANYone out of the country, let alone fresh young kids. :(</p> <p>I would have said Korea since Wagon Sr. and I are both Korean-Americans and we would be ideal in their eyes for an adoption, but we've had a few friends go through really difficult adoption processes... long, expensive, and heartwrenching. I can totally understand Korea cracking down a bit on their process since there was such a stigma of adopted Korean kids in the states in the 80s and 90s. One couple I know didn't get their son until a YEAR after they were matched with him-- and he's a pastor, she's an elementary school teacher, how much more ideal can you get than that?!? I hear through them and others that you are first on the list if you are both Korean born citizens, so Korean Americans still aren't ideal for them.</p> <p>I think I would do a lot of research and choose based on need, cost, and typical speed of process. I know nothing about domestic or international adoption so I can't really answer this question! :) </p> <p>If I had the heart for adoption though, I might consider being a foster parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155372 Fri, 11 May 2012 08:41:08 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 155372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have pretty set feelings on this, which you have already read. While I love the romantic notion of adopting internationally (my new favorite country is Mongolia), domestic infant was perfect for us! And now we have a daughter who is Asian, Black and NA!</p> <p>@elsamgreer: How is your process going? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155360 Fri, 11 May 2012 08:36:40 +0000 Alivoo01 155360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd probably adopt from China. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155321 Fri, 11 May 2012 08:24:01 +0000 LuLu Mom 155321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say we would probably try to help a US child first and if that didn't work we would look into overseas, no where in particular. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155257 Fri, 11 May 2012 07:28:55 +0000 looch 155257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: I have no idea, that's why I asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155252 Fri, 11 May 2012 07:26:06 +0000 SugarplumsMom 155252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I think everyone means South Korea =P Do they even do adoptions in the north? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155246 Fri, 11 May 2012 07:21:58 +0000 looch 155246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Which Korea, North or South? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155241 Fri, 11 May 2012 07:18:11 +0000 emg86 155241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are adopting from the US at the moment. In the future we've talked about doing foster to adopt as well and maybe one international adoption. </p> <p>I think international adoption can be very tricky. Each country and agency has different age, financial, some even health/weight requirements. You also want to choose a very stable country and be prepared for things to happen...like a few years ago when Russia stopped all adoptions and I believe China did something similar too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155180 Fri, 11 May 2012 05:05:24 +0000 SugarplumsMom 155180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've thought about this extensively while we were TTC. I actually realized I wanted kids after teaching in Korea, plus it's when DH and I had gotten closer. Korea has a special tie to both of us and we still both work with Koreans everyday. So if we ever do adopt, it would be from Korea.</p> <p>BUT, Korean adoption has been greatly limited to foreigners just recently. It also has strict criteria and long wait times. The length of time you've been married, the spacing and ages of the couple, plus the amount of children and spacing between your existing children are also taken into account. They even look at your BMI!</p> <p>We haven't totally ruled it out, but right now we're just anticipating our baby to arrive and we'll see how we'll manage and if/how long it takes to conceive again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155167 Fri, 11 May 2012 04:16:31 +0000 tequiero21 155167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Korea... Maybe us... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155163 Fri, 11 May 2012 03:15:53 +0000 Rosie Girl 155163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably try US first, but I would like to from other places too, like Africa. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-to-adopt-where-would-you-adopt-from#post-155144 Fri, 11 May 2012 02:07:02 +0000 looch 155144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd adopt in the country where I was living. </p>