https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 24 May 2026 05:34:05 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it/page/2#post-1661469 Tue, 27 May 2014 20:49:46 +0000 skibobrown 1661469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh I totally hear you. At 10 months PP I *cried* promptly after leaving a work meeting where I had to interact with the breastfeeding goddess. She's the local organizer of the La Leche League, and while I was recounting some of my stresses over getting my daughter to eat, she parroted the "food before one is just for fun" rule. I was so stupidly hurt. All I could think was that all is well and good when you have milk just flowing freely out of your body. Ugh. ...and I had thought I was completely at peace with our formula feeding routine. I guess I'll just always carry my sadness over my inability to breastfeed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it/page/2#post-1661465 Tue, 27 May 2014 20:48:11 +0000 Sapphiresun 1661465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: If it makes you feel any better, my exclusively BF to six months baby is not cuddly either. Only in the last couple weeks has she even started laying her head on my shoulder while being held, and I actually think it's just an attempt be extra cute to manipulate me into not giving her crap for getting into EVERYTHING, rather than any expression of actually liking me. And I also think it's very strange to post repeatedly about BFing on FB. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it/page/2#post-1661408 Tue, 27 May 2014 20:07:54 +0000 Madison43 1661408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>7 months pp and not over it. I don't feel guilty every time I make a bottle anymore, but I still contemplate all the "what if I had done X, Y and Z, would it have worked then" pretty regularly. It's kind of weird that I am still focused on it because breastfeeding wasn't something that was super important to me until I couldn't do it anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it/page/2#post-1661191 Tue, 27 May 2014 17:26:37 +0000 immabeetoo 1661191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: yes! And the "decent" bit was tongue in cheek- formula is a life saving, modern invention that I have no qualms saying I support :) and I don't want to dismiss anyone's feelings - simply that I genuinely hope the guilt fades! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it/page/2#post-1661121 Tue, 27 May 2014 16:39:17 +0000 Cherrybee 1661121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: Woah, 26 years?? I really hope Im over it by then!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it/page/2#post-1661111 Tue, 27 May 2014 16:36:28 +0000 immabeetoo 1661111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom still makes comments about wishing she hadn't had to use formula.. And I'm the youngest at 26! Makes me so sad- I'd like to think we are all pretty decent people and I had no idea I was FF until I got pregnant myseld and asked. So, no advice, just hope that anyone reading doesn't hold on the regret as long as my mom has :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it/page/2#post-1661103 Tue, 27 May 2014 16:34:22 +0000 Cherrybee 1661103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jhd: Hugs, lady. Yes, it really will be okay. Despite the occasional pangs of jealousy or sadness like today, formula has been amazing for us. Its convenient, other people can help feed, it enabled us to get into a routine sooner and DD (who was less than 6lb at birth) has thrived on it. By the way, 6oz a day is amazing! Your LO is lucky to have such a wonderful mother! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it/page/2#post-1661074 Tue, 27 May 2014 16:23:30 +0000 GrapeCrush 1661074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jhd: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1661058 Tue, 27 May 2014 16:18:55 +0000 jhd 1661058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so grateful for this thread today. I'm pumping in the nicu for my LO who is 4 weeks old. He's only been at the breast twice &amp; was unable to latch. I'm only getting about 6 oz per day at this point so he's getting lots more formula than breast milk. I'm sad because we haven't been able to breast feed and sad that my body is not producing the amount of milk that he needs. But you ladies have reminded me that everything will be ok no matter how we end up feeding! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660836 Tue, 27 May 2014 14:46:48 +0000 shellio 1660836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I BF my older DS for 13 mos (well, EP'd for the first 4) and he is not cuddly with me, daddy is definitely his favorite. My 6 month old doesn't care about the boob and actually nursing him is usually a frustrating experience because he wiggles his body the whole time and pops off all the time. You have a feeding relationship with your LO, feeding a bottle is bonding time too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660834 Tue, 27 May 2014 14:45:15 +0000 daniellemybelle 1660834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am grateful that I was able to breastfeed, and we are still nursing. However, I can relate to you a little bit because I was ever able to exclusively breastfeed. We supplemented with formula from day 5 &amp; at 7 months we are still supplementing. It's not the same at all, but I will tell you I still have sad days where I feel guilty that LO has had formula and not a "virgin" gut. I still get self-conscious bottle feeding in public from time to time, though it's much easier now that LO is not a newborn. </p> <p>Hugs to you - you are a fantastic mama :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660802 Tue, 27 May 2014 14:32:42 +0000 MoonMoon 1660802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: oh honey! My boy is breastfed and he's not very cuddly with me! Of course she knows you're her mum! Our LOs just like playing coy, deep down they love us, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660753 Tue, 27 May 2014 14:14:45 +0000 Tanjowen 1660753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm still not completely over it and we are at 5 months. I BF for a month but had to supplement after every feeding and also pumped to try to make more. My husband was in the middle of a stressful job interview and I had zero family support on the breastfeeding (my whole family formula feeds). After blocked ducts, sleepless nights and a constantly hungry baby, I eventually crashed and burned emotionally &amp; physically and gave up. It took a while for me to realize I needed to be a happy, healthy mom for my baby, but I still feel lonely as everyone I know BF's and it's like a shameful secret I admit to no one. I cried a LOT of tears and would tell my husband how I was a terrible mother.</p> <p>I'm starting to get over it a little now, and I feel as we move past the liquid stage I will get over it more. It's nice to know there are others out there and to see the sweet support people give to mom's on here! There is a lot more to being a good mom than formula or breastmilk...</p> <p>And @photojane, I love that you talk about the "new squishy" you will have in the hospital. I tell my son all the time the line from Nemo, "You are my Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy." :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660725 Tue, 27 May 2014 14:06:08 +0000 deerylou 1660725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had severe supply issues, despite numerous LC appointments, a small fortune spent on herbs/supplements, and pumping/nursing around the clock. When I was in the thick of it, I felt like I was walking around in a fog of disappointment and sadness. While my state of mind improved considerably once we started supplementing (and later, switching 100%), I wasn't confident until much later. </p> <p>I avoided some new mother playgroups because so much of them were (in many ways, rightfully) heavily focused on breastfeeding. I was admittedly embarrassed, and couldn't relate. I felt judged, even when it wasn't the case, and it got rather lonely.</p> <p>Now, with LO over ten months old, and eating three solid meals a day, those feelings of inadequacy are ancient history. My husband and I are incredibly bonded to our daughter, and she's a smart, spunky, amazing little person. Her happiness is all the evidence I need to realize I've made good decisions, as her mom.</p> <p>I suppose I feel a small a twinge of jealousy when I see a new mother successfully nursing her baby, but it's nothing like before. Comments equating formula to poison or claims that breastfed children are developmentally superior still annoy me, on a personal level. However, unfair judgement, misinformation, and humblebragging are all a reality, regardless of personal decisions. </p> <p>If the comments continue to bring you down, @cherrybee: don't hesitate to limit or block her updates from your newsfeed. But do know that the way in which you feed your E now is just one minute facet of parenthood, and one very small part of her lifetime of nutrition. What I've come to learn is that we all experience our own journeys as mothers, and you've got to celebrate happiness on your own terms- try not to measure it against what others were able to achieve. Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660686 Tue, 27 May 2014 13:55:09 +0000 Cherrybee 1660686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@photojane: Aaw, she's a really lovely person! It's okay to act a little weird a week pp! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660578 Tue, 27 May 2014 13:29:41 +0000 photojane 1660578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: So glad I could be a little bit of a support to you! :happy: Also, I don't know that I would waste my time being jealous of someone who is giving boob details on fb. :silly: </p> <p>@Charm54: I won't be BFing number two either. My "baby friendly" hospital really pushes BFing too, but I'm honestly not that worried about it. All of my attention will be directed to the cute new squishy in my arms. The nurses and LC's can kiss my swollen, post-partum bum. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660547 Tue, 27 May 2014 13:19:15 +0000 Charm54 1660547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also.... I love love love this article so much. It takes the shift off of breast vs bottle and focuses on giving each mama the support they want and need. If our hospitals were set up like this I think we'd all be a lot better off!</p> <p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2014/05/22/the-politics-of-breastfeeding/happy-mom-happy-baby" rel="nofollow">http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2014/05/22/the-politics-of-breastfeeding/happy-mom-happy-baby</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660538 Tue, 27 May 2014 13:15:59 +0000 Raindrop 1660538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There is a lot of pressure and mommy guilt associated around breastfeeding. I only breast feed probably 3 times before LO rejected my boob and I had to pump which I was only able to do for 3 months. Like this is the first thing you failed to do as a mommy... it hurts!</p> <p>It was sad at first but then you know what? Our parents were told that formula was best and most of them didn't breastfeed and we as a generation turned okay.... well maybe those are bold words but I think I'm okay. </p> <p>Now LO is 2 years old. I rarely think about this and it doesn't affect me at all when someone mentions it.</p> <p>I usually tell myself I did what I could and try to move forward... it's really hard but it pulls me though.</p> <p>*big hugs* I think you tried your best... and even worrying about this.. your LO is in good hands. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660535 Tue, 27 May 2014 13:15:35 +0000 GrapeCrush 1660535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I hope that when you have another LO you get the best newborn experience possible, whether it includes BFing or not :) you, and every mom deserves it :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660533 Tue, 27 May 2014 13:15:06 +0000 Cherrybee 1660533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Yeah, you're right! You're totally right! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660526 Tue, 27 May 2014 13:13:05 +0000 Charm54 1660526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tried to BF for a while but after a few weeks I was EPing and supplementing with formula. Once she was 6 months I switched to formula exclusively. </p> <p>I had a lot of guilt in the beginning, but mostly because society told me I *should* feel guilty. I cried and cried because I was hormonal and emotional and my "baby friendly" hospital was making things very difficult on me and my DD.</p> <p>Once I made the decision to stop, I haven't really looked back. I know my dd is healthy, strong, and bonded to me. She defies all of the "breast is best" logic that people spew out... She hasn't been sick a day in her life, she has a healthy weight, she is happy and bonded, she meets all her milestones on time...etc etc</p> <p>So seeing her grow so well has helped ease the stress I first felt. I also tried to focus on the positives of bottle feeding (DH loved feeding her ! I could take mini vacations with DH while my parents watched her overnight, I never had to worry if she was getting enough, she sttn early, etc etc).</p> <p>I already know I will not want to Bf #2. I will either FF from the beginning or EP again, depending on what works for our family. I am admittedly worried about how my hospital will react to this plan though and do stress about this often enough. Apparently they send a psychologist to talk to all mothers who choose not to BF. Sigh.</p> <p>*hugs*! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660523 Tue, 27 May 2014 13:12:10 +0000 MrsLilybugg 1660523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: that totally made me lol! :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660484 Tue, 27 May 2014 13:05:42 +0000 yoursilverlining 1660484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I totally get mourning something you don't have; but it's also easy to build up things you didn't have in your head, too and make them more than they are/were.</p> <p>What I described I only had a couple of times in the early days (except for watching my husband with LO, which was always lovely from day 1). I had severe PPD and a colicky baby; so the really beautiful, quiet times definitely stand out to me in my memory. It definitely was not always, or mostly even, happy like I described :happy: but there was also nothing to guilt myself over, either for not breastfeeding. Bf wouldn't have changed our circumstances. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660482 Tue, 27 May 2014 13:05:35 +0000 Cherrybee 1660482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@photojane: You were actually a huge support to me at the time - I've always loved your perspective on this (and I never realised you were ever upset about it -thank you for sharing that with me today). </p> <p>@Adira: Thank you for that! In my right mind, I know this!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660460 Tue, 27 May 2014 13:01:23 +0000 Adira 1660460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Just wanted to chime in on the bonding/cuddling. Xander was breastfed and he didn't seem particularly attached to it and/or like cuddling me! He didn't seem to care if he was being nursed or given a bottle - it was apparently all the same to him. So breastfeeding doesn't automatically equal any special bonding! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660432 Tue, 27 May 2014 12:55:48 +0000 photojane 1660432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>About a 1.5 weeks in we realized it just wasn't going to happen. The week following I was a mess. It was a mixture of perceived pressure from the internet and the hormones. Everyone in my life was completely and wonderfully supportive. When my hormones leveled out, I realized that I was wasting happy moments with my sweet girl being sad/jealous/regretful, something clicked in my mind. I was over it &amp; I haven't looked back. We had a fantastic year on formula. And, hey my kid turned out freakin' awesome!</p> <p>I totally get why some people hang onto it though. If you had dreams about BFing it can be painful to not get that experience. It makes sense to mourn lost dreams. I never felt that way though. Felt like I should at least give it a try, but I never longed to BF. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660392 Tue, 27 May 2014 12:48:53 +0000 Cherrybee 1660392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsLilybugg: Aaw, sweetie, I'm so sorry. You're not a failure! You can't help that your LO is a cheeky little monkey who thinks it's funny to bite you!! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660386 Tue, 27 May 2014 12:47:20 +0000 Cherrybee 1660386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: You don't have to be sorry because it didn't bother you!! :happy: I think maybe what you said has shed a little more light on it for me - because we didn't have that beautiful experience you described at all during the newborn days. I suffered from PPD and didn't really bond with my baby until she was maybe 4 months old. I think maybe that's what I mourn more than anything, the newborn experience I never had - and breastfeeding has become the poster campaign for it. </p> <p>@GrapeCrush: I love that you could breastfeed your second but decided you preferred FF. :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660202 Tue, 27 May 2014 11:38:50 +0000 GrapeCrush 1660202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt 'guilty' until my 6 week pp appointment. My OB asked me if I was breastfeeding and I quietly said no. I thought for sure i was going to get a talking to about why I should be. But he just looked at me and said 'it's ok if you're not. It doesn't work for every one and that is nothing to be ashamed of or quiet about'. I instantly felt better, because he was right. It wasn't something I should be ashamed of. </p> <p>I put guilty in quotes because I don't think I really felt guilty. I think I made myself think I did, because i told myself that I should feel guilty. With my second, I had no problems breastfeeding...but I realized i didn't enjoy it, or really like it. I didn't feel any more bonded to her than I did my first. I only ended up breastfeeding her for 2 weeks because I realized I'm a much happier mama when formula feeding. </p> <p>@blackbird: I :heart: your second paragraph! So true :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-you-were-unable-to-breastfeed-how-did-it-affect-you-when-did-you-get-over-it#post-1660184 Tue, 27 May 2014 11:31:57 +0000 MrsLilybugg 1660184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: HUGS. I get sad that my LO doesn't BF as much as my other friends' babies/toddlers. She's 10 months old and will only nurse in the middle of the night. If she's awake and aware, she'll bite my nipple and laugh at me. I mean, that's cute and all but I wish she would BF more. And it does make me so sad and jealous when I see friends who post that their 2 year old or something won't stop nursing. it makes me feel like a failure. :( </p>