https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 10:54:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1325095 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 12:09:24 +0000 mrs. bird 1325095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i can't imagine losing a child, but their child has died, nothing is going to change that, they're only prolonging the time before they have to say goodbye to her body. if they wanted to keep support going long enough to allow to family &amp; friends to come to say goodbye, to have a doctor they're more comfortable give a second opinion, something like that, i would understand, but i think this is a terrible abuse of resources &amp; i could never put a child's body through more just to avoid saying a final goodbye. if they had been at their own home, doing hospice care &amp; wanted to use their own resources, that would be one thing, but they're taking staff away from other living patients. i don't know what their ins situation is like, but this is costing someone- the state/themselves/the ins companies, unreal amounts of money. i'm not putting a price tag on a little girl's life, the little girl has died, there is no dollar figure that can change that, but those funds come from somewhere &amp; situations like that effect the cost of healthcare for everyone. my heart hurts for the family, i hope they can say goodbye and try to find peace soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1325077 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 12:03:16 +0000 MrsSCB 1325077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This story is heartbreaking. I'm a little angry at whatever extended care facility is taking her in. I feel like they're taking advantage of a very vulnerable family who is having trouble coming to grips with the fact that their child IS dead. How much money has and is this family going to spend on all of this? I can understand them not trusting the hospital, and that's why they need support from other sources to help them come to terms with this, not someplace giving them hope by offering to take her in (and at what cost?) So tragic.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1325053 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 11:58:04 +0000 Mrs. Chocolate 1325053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no idea what I would do or feel in this situation to be honest. I pray I never have to find out and wish this pain on no one as its just unfathomable to have to decide what to do I think. I am a hope springs eternal person so I think I would have a really hard time letting go and believing that my child couldnt make a recovery. Also I dont doubt the parents are very distrustful of the hospital now and their motives which I dont think is helping with this emotional decision. I hope they find peace and a way to heal regardless of what ends up happening. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1325027 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 11:51:22 +0000 deactivated_account 1325027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is so sad. But I certainly feel its no bodies business what this family does with their little girl. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324854 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 11:09:06 +0000 78h2o 1324854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I agree. I think the issue in this case is that they don't trust the hospital enough to believe that she is actually brain dead. Who would blame them? She went in for a routine procedure and something went horribly wrong. I personally am not saying it was the hospital's fault - I don't know the details, but it sounds like the family does blame the hospital and they don't trust them enough to believe their diagnosis of brain death. </p> <p>If it were me, I'd want to be very confident in the diagnosis of brain death. Usually at least two different doctors need to run a bunch of tests to confirm in. I think if I was confident in the diagnosis, I would let my child go - hopefully in enough time to allow for organ donation. </p> <p>My 84 year old grandfather was in a vegetative state for several weeks following e.coli meningitis and abdominal surgery.... a vegetative state is not the same as brain death... there is a still a very remote chance of recovery. In his case, we did remove supportive measures (ventillator, feeding tube, iv's) per his advanced directive; however, after a week in hospice with no food/meds/and a few days without fluids, he came out of it (a miracle, in my opinion). He was transferred to a rehab facility and made a meaningful recovery (basically, back where he was before). So, I do believe a lot is possible and would not give up hope unless all the criteria for brain death were met... in which case, I hope I would be able to let go. It would be so very hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324556 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 09:58:04 +0000 blackbird 1324556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She's already gone, it's so sad :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324547 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 09:55:43 +0000 tequiero21 1324547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unfortunately, brain dead is dead. Just the machines keeping body alive. They keep the patient's body alive and it just costs the hospital tons of money. I have 2 children with one on the way. If they were declared brain dead, we'd have to let them go. No one should have to make this decision. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324498 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 09:42:13 +0000 yoursilverlining 1324498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope I would have the strength to let my child go, because she would be already gone. :'( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324449 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 09:24:35 +0000 Mamaof2 1324449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: agree! I cannot imagine losing my child :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324425 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 09:14:32 +0000 Bao 1324425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man :( this would be the hardest decision of my life but I would probably let her go. I hope I never have to make that choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324420 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 09:11:02 +0000 Alivoo01 1324420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dandelion: Agreed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324379 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 08:48:07 +0000 MrsTiz 1324379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I agree with everything you said.</p> <p>Sometimes holding on like that isn't best. Life support is just that, to support life..this girl is dead. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324377 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 08:47:58 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1324377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a tragedy for this family, but there child is gone. It's time to bury her and celebrate her life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324375 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 08:46:21 +0000 Mae 1324375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Her family does not seem to understand she is brain dead. At the end of the article is a quote from them saying they are going to help her get a full recovery. If they believe that is possible, of course they are going to keep fighting. It's such a tragic situation and it has been less than a month, I'd imagine their brains just can't process the fact that she is never getting better yet. Obviously I think they should let her go. But I also understand why it may take more than a couple weeks to accept that there is NO chance of recovery. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324371 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 08:40:50 +0000 Mrs. Deer 1324371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Having taken care of patients declared brain dead in an ICU, I can say that this is such a hard issue. Do I think she should be let go? Absolutely. But when your child is just undergoing a routine procedure and suddenly you're told she's brain dead... I can't even imagine. And I know that when they saw her she would have just looked like she was sleeping peacefully. I'm sure their brains couldn't even process how this could happen. That being said, I hope her family can realize soon that she is indeed gone and let her go. Maybe being out of the hospital and eye of the media will help. The whole thing is so sad. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324351 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 08:18:40 +0000 Adira 1324351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's my belief that when you are brain dead, you are dead. Just because they are keeping her body going doesn't mean she's actually still alive. The whole "quality of life" doesn't even factor in for me - there is no quality of life - she's dead. They're just keeping her body from decomposing. If I believed in a soul, I believe her soul has already departed and she is no longer residing within her body. She's dead.</p> <p>I think they can keep her body going for as long as they want, but they are just wasting money. It's horrible, but their daughter is already dead. I would not keep my child's body going in this manner. There would be no point to it. Brain death is death. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324336 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 08:07:20 +0000 Happygal 1324336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Right now, not having children and not being in that position, I can say I would let my child's body go since I believe she's actually already gone. But I have no idea how I would react in that situation. I wouldn't say they're being selfish--hope springs eternal, and just one story of someone coming out fine on the other side would make me pray that story would be my child's story, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324335 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 08:05:25 +0000 Dandelion 1324335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree. There's no point in prolonging someone's life if their quality of life is going to be that bad. It's really sad to lose your kid that way, but they won't get the same kid back, either. Just lots of lots of medical bills and nothing to show for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-child-was-brain-dead#post-1324333 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 08:03:40 +0000 Mamaof2 1324333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am sure everyone has heard about this on the news - the girl who went in for a tonsillectomy and became brain dead. The family is fighting to keep her "alive"</p> <p>Here is the article</p> <p><a href="http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2014/01/06/22204149-case-of-jahi-mcmath-raises-questions-about-life-after-brain-death?lite" rel="nofollow">http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2014/01/06/22204149-case-of-jahi-mcmath-raises-questions-about-life-after-brain-death?lite</a></p> <p>Personally I think they should let their child go - she will have no quality of life at all - I think the parents are being selfish.</p> <p>Yes I understand its their child and its hard but ..... Its time to let her go.</p> <p>Thoughts? </p>