Hellobee Boards Topic: If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?

Hellobee Boards Topic: If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 14:27:20 +0000 Rescuemom10 on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know/page/2#post-76857 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 18:36:23 +0000 Rescuemom10 76857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @RUBIES. That so made me laugh. yes I would want to know and I would want to try to stop it if possible too. I think thats too young. I just hope our future LO's feel they can come and talk to us about it. I never felt I could with my parents, but on the same hand they taught me enough to where I was a "good girl" so yeah.... LuLu Mom on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76809 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 17:36:39 +0000 LuLu Mom 76809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would definetely want to know, my mom was always very honest with us about sex & I think it helped me make a mature decision. I want my daughter (and son) to feel like they can come to us and speak openly about these kind of things and that we won't punish them. Nothing would be more shocking then coming to me to say they are pregnant and there is nothing you can do about it because it is too late. DillonLion on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76796 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 17:27:26 +0000 DillonLion 76796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes. I was having sex in high school, and felt comfortable enough telling my mom, and she helped me get on birth control. I hope for the same for my daughter, if she chooses to have sex during her teenage years. I'd definitely also want to know if my son was, to make sure he was using protection and new all of the resources available to him (free condoms, etc.) aMohror on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76780 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 17:11:00 +0000 aMohror 76780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Rubies: HAHA! Sounds like what my husband would say also! Lozza on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76523 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 14:12:38 +0000 Lozza 76523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @looch: Yeah, I didn't really realize that I had such a bias until I went to respond! I hadn't realized how scarily heteronormative my initial reactions would be on this! looch on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76495 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 13:56:13 +0000 looch 76495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Lozza: you touched a nerve (in a good way) with me about the gender-unbiased strategy, because boys seem to get the bad rap that they're the ones that put the pressure on the girl and deserve to have their d*cks cut off, in the words of a previous poster. I think we all need to remember that pressure comes from both genders and we, as parents, need to prepare our children for the reality of the world we live in, where kids mature a lot earlier. j0s1e267 on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76494 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 13:56:03 +0000 j0s1e267 76494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Arrrgghhhh, this is a tough one!!!!! I hope to teach her early on to be responsible, to love her body, to not be peer pressured into doing anything so I guess I will rather not know. banana on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76486 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 13:50:51 +0000 banana 76486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Oh man. That's one of my worst nightmares. I know most moms worry about girls being sexually active but I actually worry about my son being sexually active too. What if he gets a girl pregnant or gets an STD or..... ACK! But yes, if I had a girl, I would definitely want to know! HabesBabe on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76470 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 13:41:50 +0000 HabesBabe 76470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would definitely want to know so I can make sure they're using protection. Ignorance is bliss, until your kid ends up with an STD or knocked up. I was sexually active in high school and my mom knew about it. She made sure that we had condoms (she didn't but them for us or anything, but made sure now-DH had them) and got me on birth control. Nowadays, I'd also be worried about "where" kids are getting it on... especially with webcams, etc. I don't want anything like that being taped and shared between friends. mrsjyw on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76436 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 13:21:31 +0000 mrsjyw 76436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Most definitely. I want to have an open relationship and make sure that she is using protection. I wasn't sexually active until senior year of hs, but my parents never knew about it. Thankfully, I was careful on my own and used protection. Honestly, my mom probably thinks that I was a virgin 'til DH, but I don't have it in me still to tell her otherwise. Lozza on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76236 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 10:41:55 +0000 Lozza 76236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @daniellemybelle: I feel you on the son thing... I feel like if I had a daughter, I'd be focusing on things like "I want you to feel empowered to make good decisions without being pressured into anything, and I want you to feel able to seek out and utilize resources to both help you make decisions, and then to act on them in the safest and most responsible way possible...." But with my son? Oh man, I can totally see myself going crazy with the "IF YOU EVER TREAT A GIRL DISRESPECTFULLY I WILL GROUND YOU FOR THE REST OF MY NATURAL LIFE, AND THEN I WILL HAUNT YOU." This is all kind of making me think that maybe I should think about this in advance and come up with some gender-unbiased strategy.... daniellemybelle on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76210 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 09:57:26 +0000 daniellemybelle 76210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, I would want to know, so that I could make sure she was on birth control. I want to be as open and accepting as possible with our kids and hopefully they will feel like they can come to us. In fact, when our daughter starts high school, I plan on explicitly telling her that while I hope that she waits until she is older, if she does want to become sexually active, I won't judge her, I just want to make sure she goes to the doctor and gets birth control, and uses condoms also. DH is going to emphasize using condoms to our son, as well. I agree that high school (and even early college) is way too young to be having sex. But the fact is that most do. My friends in high school that could talk to their parents about their sex lives were actually a lot smarter about it than the ones that felt like they had to keep it a secret. I'd rather our daughter be able to count on us to support her and keep her safe than send her out into that world on her own. I don't know about you guys, but I am actually more worried about our SON than our daughter (assuming we have one of each). It would be so horrible if our son grew up to be disrespectful to girls in any way, as many high school/college boys are. It also scares me that he could not be careful and end up getting a girl pregnant. In that situation, DH & I would have very little say, and could end up having a grandchild we never saw, or had a bad relationship with. At least if our daughter got pregnant we would have more control over the situation. Nskillet on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76130 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 08:56:41 +0000 Nskillet 76130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would never tell my children "don't do it" because I think sexuality is a private and personal journey. My mother had children at 17 and was always candid with us about sex and birth control/condoms. Before I had sex, I told her. I was a senior in high school and in love with my boyfriend. She obviously wasn't a cheerleader about it and just said that if I was adult enough to make the decision to have sex I was adult enough to make a doctors appt and get on birth control. That's what I did and had responsible sex my entire life. Lozza on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76116 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 08:25:50 +0000 Lozza 76116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Artbee Show her videos of someone actually giving birth (including placenta delivery), plus the photos from Ina May Garten's book. That would have worked on me. (I think if I'd seen it prior to actually getting pregnant two years ago, it would have still worked on adult-me) heffalump on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76110 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 08:21:35 +0000 heffalump 76110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Ok so here's my plan. When she enters high school I will sit her down and force her to watch every episode of 16 and pregnant and teen mom. That should scare her enough to not have sex until she's married! Lozza on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76101 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 07:57:18 +0000 Lozza 76101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Like @digapony, I'm not sure I'd want to know SPECIFICALLY (like, "hey Mom, cashed in my v-card last night, thought you should know"), but I'd want to know if she was considering becoming sexually active, and I'd want to know (at some point) once she became sexually active. I think there are plenty of good reasons to delay becoming sexually active, and I'd like to talk about those with my kids, but ultimately once they're older teens, those are decisions that they will (and will have to) make for themselves. And I'd like to focus on making sure they have the knowledge and support to make the best decisions for themselves, even if that means having uncomfortable conversations and acknowledging that they won't always make the decisions I'd like. This all goes out the window for younger kids though. 13-year-olds having sex? Oh hells no. I'd be up there with Rubies' DH on that one. looch on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76080 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 03:19:12 +0000 looch 76080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Crumbs: Here too! I was kind of shocked one day when we were visiting my IL's and my SIL and her boyfriend came downstairs that morning. My husband told me that this started when his first sister was in high school, but he was never interested in doing that, which is cool with me because I don't plan to allow it. loveisstrange on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76078 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 03:16:50 +0000 loveisstrange 76078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ YES. I would want to know so that I could be sure she was being safe and responsible about it. I plan to be open and honest with my kids about everything and that includes frank discussions about sex. My mother and I had a relationship where I knew I could ask her a question and I knew that I would get an honest answer. I could tell her anything. I really want that kind of relationship with my kids. looch on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76052 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 02:15:01 +0000 looch 76052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, I'd want to know, I'd like to think that I could be open and honest about the discussion from an early age so that when my son decided it was time, he could ask either me or my husband about it. Realistically though, I feel that if you are old enough to have sex, you are old enough to be on your own, so there will be none of this girlfriend sleeping over at my house kind of thing. DigAPony on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76040 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 01:43:52 +0000 DigAPony 76040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm not sure if I'd want to know exactly when they started having sex, but I'd definitely have regular talks about contraception/safe sex. I don't know--I lost my virginity senior year of high school, and a few weeks before it happened, my mom and I had a really amazing talk about the importance of sex, waiting for the right person, making a smart choice, etc. I felt really close to her--so close that after I had sex for the first time, I shared it with her about a week later. I felt I had made the right choice for me, I got on the pill and used condoms, etc. She had a horrible reaction, assumed I didn't listen to anything she said, and acted like what I did was a personal attack against her. That really had a negative impact on me. I felt like she wanted to have a trusting, open relationship, so long as I did what she thought I should do. I don't want my kids to feel that way, so I'm determined not to judge them, even though I'm sure inwardly I'll be horrified and traumatized to find out they're having sex. cupcakemama on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76036 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 01:36:48 +0000 cupcakemama 76036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I wouldn't want to know. Hopefully I would have drummed into my kids that sex is important and that stds are scary. So think about it and use protection. Always. My knowing about it won't change their actions so I choose ignorance! AmeliaBedelia on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-76002 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +0000 AmeliaBedelia 76002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I hope I do as good of a job as my Mom did so that they DON'T, but ya know...I guess yes I'd want to know. I'd want to make sure protection was used and that they knew how serious it was and didn't buy into it being socially acceptable. Ick. Also, so that I could make sure to find out where it was happening so it could possibly be prevented? I don't even have kids yet and this makes me cringe. mediagirl on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-75994 Wed, 15 Feb 2012 23:51:32 +0000 mediagirl 75994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No..YES...No...YES! Agh! There is no good answer! Okay, I would want to know so I know she's being safe about it...but it's so early! Maybe I'll tell her I didn't have sex until I was older, maybe that would help? GAH - I can't think about that now!! BSB on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-75980 Wed, 15 Feb 2012 23:42:25 +0000 BSB 75980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yeah, I would want to know. So I can try to get them to stop or at least do it safely. Boogs on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-75888 Wed, 15 Feb 2012 22:51:51 +0000 Boogs 75888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would want to know! Then, I would prevent them from doing it again by locking them in their room until they're 30! Really, I would encourage them to stop and educate them about proper protection so they are at least safe if they are going to do it anyway. Rosie Girl on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-75884 Wed, 15 Feb 2012 22:49:28 +0000 Rosie Girl 75884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes I would want to know. I wouldn't try to stop them, but inform them and help them take precautions, like getting DD on birth control, etc. mrsjazz on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-75882 Wed, 15 Feb 2012 22:48:25 +0000 mrsjazz 75882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'd want to know. I'd want to make sure she was using protection and had birth control--even though I'd be devastated. SugarplumsMom on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-75864 Wed, 15 Feb 2012 22:23:12 +0000 SugarplumsMom 75864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't even wanna think about! But apparently it's completely acceptable to have your bf spend the night here in Sweden. Hubby's older sister had boys sleep over in high school! O_O Over my dead body! That's what I told DH. chopsuey on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-75862 Wed, 15 Feb 2012 22:22:26 +0000 chopsuey 75862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Andrea: ditto. chopsuey on "If your daughter was sexually active in high school, would you want to know?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-daughter-was-sexually-active-in-high-school-would-you-want-to-know#post-75861 Wed, 15 Feb 2012 22:21:44 +0000 chopsuey 75861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Rubies: omg I LOL'd when I read your comment!