https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 12 May 2026 15:54:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226453 Sat, 04 Jul 2015 08:33:27 +0000 Modern Daisy 2226453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never understood why people stopped at 1 until i had my son. He has been extremely difficult his while life and i find myself counting the days until he's finally old enough to be more self sufficient. My DH feels the same way, but seems stressed about NOT having #2 even though it's such a nightmare of a thought right now for both of us. I guess my point is that i now totally understand stopping at 1! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226427 Sat, 04 Jul 2015 07:34:02 +0000 catlady 2226427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We originally wanted at least one and possibly two, but were learning towards two. I had an easy pregnancy but between LO's near-colicky newborn days, the terrible sleep regressions, and almost a full year of elimination diet, DH and I were on the fence for another for awhile. Now that she is getting closer to 2 though, we are finally ready to go for it. I am hoping this time is a little easier actually since the first time was so rough (I feel like we are so much more experienced now). LO is definitely a toddler with toddler moments, but in general, she has a fun and spunky personality that I never would have predicted from the tough newborn days, so that helps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226408 Sat, 04 Jul 2015 06:10:10 +0000 looch 2226408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was not an easy baby, and it did in some ways, dictate that we didn't have a second child. It turns out my nerves can't handle chaos and I don't have the patience that is needed to handle more children. I also didn't have time on my side to delay the decision, so we just decided not to mess with our family of three and it has turned out to be a wonderful decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226384 Sat, 04 Jul 2015 02:27:26 +0000 Bubbles 2226384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our plan was always for 3, maybe 4. I had a pretty easy pregnancy with DS, but he was an incredibly difficult newborn. For at least 6 months after he was born I felt like I didn't want any more children. But we fell into a groove and I turned out to be much more of a toddler person than I imagined (not saying they aren't difficult!) I am now pregnant with #2 only 3 months later than we originally planned - I wanted a little more time with my body to myself. If all goes to plan DS will be 27 months when this one is born. I would say don't put pressure on yourself to decide either way - give yourself time and just take it as it comes :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226380 Sat, 04 Jul 2015 01:22:32 +0000 Cherrybee 2226380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always wanted three and DH wanted two. I had reluctantly agreed to settle on two - approx 2 yrs apart - with the potential for number three a few years later if it felt right, and then baby #1 happened and it changed everything! </p> <p>I actually loved being pregnant but man the newborn phase was rough! In fact 0-18 months was rough! There was no way we were going to ttc when E was 12 months as previously planned! We are planning to ttc later this year - E is 2 this month - but the truth is I'm dreading it. And #3 is not happening!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226376 Sat, 04 Jul 2015 00:46:43 +0000 gingerbebe 2226376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We always wanted 2, possibly even a 3rd later on through foster adopting or something. I don't know that DS changed that per se, but we've been batting around whether we should adopt our second. We'd always been open to adoption and every single thing about having this kid was hard. Like, it took us 3 years to get pregnant with DS with two MCs along the way, I had awful MS up until 6 months, then had a complete previa which put me on pins for the second half of the pregnancy, and then I had a failed 36 induction that led to a C-section. DS got jaundice badly, went to NICU, my milk didn't come in for a week, he had colic and reflux, he hated breastfeeding, and did not sleep or stop screaming for the first 11 weeks (I counted). I truly thought I would not survive the newborn stage. DS became less of a terrorist by 4 months and was tolerable by 6 months and I think around 8 months the thought of having another child didn't terrify quite so much. He's 10 months now and he's a cute, fun kid and we know what we need to do to keep him happy, but I don't know about going through all that again. I'm 34, so I don't have a whole lot of time, but I did take a full year off work with the idea that this could be my one and only shot at having that newborn/infant stage. </p> <p>DS is 10 months now, so I think we'll see how we feel sometime next year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226364 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 23:49:16 +0000 erinpye 2226364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had HG with my first and she was colicky night and day. We had initially wanted 2, but she scared us into the 1 and done camp for a while. She mellowed out and got really fun close to a year, and we got up the nerve to try for one more. I got pregnant when my first was 13 months old, had worse HG, and she was also a difficult baby, but I'm SO happy we went for our second and completed our family. It was hard, but worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226354 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 23:11:41 +0000 lamariniere 2226354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first LO was really difficult, but I always knew I wanted 2. We are definitely done at two and you couldn't pay me to go for a third! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226353 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 23:11:21 +0000 pinkb 2226353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I always wanted atleast 3. It was a difficult pregnancy with bed rest and other issues leadin up to delivery at 36 weeks. DD was very colicky, reflux issues and on going eating issues. But I never questioned having more. Pregnancy was equally as difficult the second time if not more so but DS is the complete opposite of DD. He makes we want 5 more just like him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226351 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 22:55:25 +0000 JessKas 2226351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first pregnancy was rough and my daughter was high needs. I had to hold her all the time, she never slept, and wouldn't let anyone else watch her. I used to want four kids pre baby but changed to two after that. I actually switched my spacing preference from three years apart to two because I felt like if I starting sleeping again I would never have another baby and I really wanted two. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226340 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 22:19:38 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 2226340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't have a difficult pregnancy, but DD was a difficult, high needs baby... but we still stuck to our plans bc we never questioned wanting a second. It actually made me think, "there's nothing I can't handle now!" and also made me want our kids closer together to get the newborn/infant years out of the way as soon as possible. DS turned out to be a ridiculously easy, unicorn baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226322 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 21:31:27 +0000 Rockies11 2226322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dc yoga bee: I had an HG pregnancy and a difficult high needs baby. We wanted 4 kids, and to try for each after a year. So we did that with our second, so I was pregnant with a second HG pregnancy with a one year old. The second HG pregnancy was worse, and it was much more difficult to be working, parenting a toddler, and having HG. It was such a bad experience that we decided not to have a 4th, and I am thinking we might wait until LO#2 is closer to 2 and a bit more independent before we try for a third. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226317 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 21:19:58 +0000 MamaBehr 2226317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't have a rough pregnancy but I did have a rough first baby. I actually thought, I'm not sleeping now, so it can't get worse! Luckily, my next two babies were super duper easy (at least as infants, toddlers are a different story!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226313 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 21:17:05 +0000 Mae 2226313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're still deciding. We wanted 2 about 2 years apart when I was pregnant with LO. My pregnancy was fine and labor was difficult ending a c section with complications that leave me sort of terrified to ever do that again. Then there was the month of screaming and the feeding issues and the sleeping issues and the fact that LO has just generally been a needier baby than most it seems. On one hand it makes me feel like if I can love her so much even being this difficult then maybe #2 would be easier because odds are (hopefully) that kid would be easier. But the bigger hand says omg what if #2 is worse??? So i think we might be 1 and done lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226310 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 21:11:58 +0000 Greentea 2226310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD is 2, just turned and I was NOT ready before this birthday! 2 has been pretty wonderful. She screamed and it was hard to go anywhere when she was a baby. Now all that energy I just stay on top of- lots of walking, lots of parks! She is a happy and energetic child, I think she was just frustrated being a baby :wink: She was just raring to go. It was important to me to wait until I was completely ready before thinking of another. No way was I ready at 1 year, neither was she! I didn't want to push myself. Also, I am happy she has a little only kid time, better for both of us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226309 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 21:11:56 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 2226309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It didn't change my number, and it didn't change the spacing between #1 and #2. Now that both have been colicky newborns, however (MSPI, yay), I won't be having a third anytime soon.</p> <p>The first two are 22 months apart, and I'm happy that they will be close but I am freaking exhausted (they are now 5 months and 27 months).</p> <p>I always say, thought, that I want children in spite of the baby phase, not because of it. Older baby, toddler, and beyond... so far, it's all great! I mean, sometimes challenging, but mostly super fun. First six months = horrific, at least for me. </p> <p>Hang in there. It blissfully becomes a distant memory later. I sometimes catch myself watching videos or looking at picture of LO1 around 2 months, when he was a screaming banshee 95% of the time (and of course we only documented the 5% of the time that was pleasant) and feeling nostalgic. </p> <p>I'm hoping to feel the same way with #2, but man, these are trying times ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226297 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 20:41:57 +0000 charlotte 2226297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My pregnancy and son as an infant were very easy but 16-20 months was brutal. Those months of new toddler independence and communication issues were sooo stressful that I started claiming I was one and done. Then, it was over and we went back to wanting #2 again and are now expecting. Overall point being I think every kid has their really rough phase and then one day it will get better! Hopefully your colic phase is IT and the rest will be a breeze :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226283 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 20:27:57 +0000 Anagram 2226283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My pregnancy was really rough on me in terms of nausea, and i didnt even have it as bad as you--and we had a LOT of feeding and sleeping issues the first year (well the sleep ossues are still here at 23 months), but DH wanted another kid ASAP so we could get the infant years over with and eventually i just realized that if I was going to go through the illness again, i wanted to just get it over with.</p> <p>The nausea was actuslly worse and longer than the first time, but I was more savvy about it this time around. The second i got my BFP, my doctor called in 3 prescriptions and i started on all of them the second the nausea hit--so although i was completely miserable from 5.5-23 weeks, it was more survivable. </p> <p>And i keep telling myself i never have to do this again, and that helps! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226277 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 20:22:45 +0000 SeptMomma12 2226277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first was a very difficult newborn (after a difficult pregnancy) and I swore we were one and done. But the further you get from the newborn days, the more fulfilling the child gets and the easier is to think about doing it again. My second is now 7 weeks and while she's so far an "easier" baby than he was, the fact is newborns are still really hard, like @Mamasig: said. I'm not a newborn person at all - give me a room of toddlers over one newborn - but it's definitely easier knowing firsthand that it does get better.</p> <p>Also, my colicky first baby - seriously screamed ALL day - turned into the absolute happiest kid. Fingers crossed you have a similar result. Nobody believes me when I tell them what his first two months were like! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226274 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 20:18:33 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2226274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always wanted more than one. My husband didn't feel as strongly about having kids at all and thinks more than two is insane. We unofficially agreed on two. Now our son has been so difficult I just don't know what to do. I love him to pieces but I don't know how I'd handle two tough kids. I'm hoping maybe if we wait a couple more years we'll all be ready to add to our family but there are days I think no way. The little baby stage was tough and he was a terrible sleeper but I could live with that. Now he knows what he's doing more and I guess can't control it. I was on the phone with my husband listing the antics of today and he got really upset like he knew I was upset with him but since he's so aware why doesn't he just stop acting up so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226272 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 20:13:57 +0000 Mamasig 2226272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS1 wasn't a hard baby, but the pregnancy was. I seriously was sad at the thought of being pregnant again. But I knew I didnt want him to be an only child. So we stuck to our plan and I was pregnant with #2 by his 1st birthday. That pregnancy was a 100x easier. I actually enjoyed it. And DS2 was also on the easy side. </p> <p>Newborns are hard and the adjustment is so hard with your first. In the long run, pregnancy and the newborn days are only a small time in the span of your kids' lives. While your in it, it's rough but it goes by very quick. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226270 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 20:10:31 +0000 turquoisemama 2226270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I struggle with this too. I always wanted three and now I'm not so sure I want anymore after my first. And the thing is, she's being a pretty easy baby. But an easy newborn is still exhausting. I think we're going to wait until she's 4 or 5 to revisit the topic of ttc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226269 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 20:08:14 +0000 cat620 2226269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my son wasn't an easy baby. I had a long, traumatic labor with him, and then I quickly learned that he was a baby that never wanted to be out of my arms. He wouldn't sleep in his crib or bassinet, just on my chest for the first two months. Even after he started sleeping in the crib, he didn't sleep through the night until he was 18 months old! During the day, he was often whiny and was easily bored. He has positive qualities too, but I just wanted to list out reasons why I was hesitant to have a second right away. I thought my son was too needy to have a sibling at least until he was 3 or older. Well, I had a surprise pregnancy when he was 17 months old, and now he will have a sibling next month! It wasn't the timing I wanted, but you learn to adapt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226268 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 20:07:33 +0000 Corduroy 2226268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We still went forward with TTC #2. We actually tried earlier than we would have if DD was super easy. DH and I did not enjoy the newborn phase and the further we got from it the harder it seemed like it would be to go back. Ours are 27 months apart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-first-baby-wasnt-an-easy-baby#post-2226265 Fri, 03 Jul 2015 19:59:44 +0000 dc yoga bee 2226265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did it change either the number of kids you wanted to have or the spacing? I always wanted two kids. Well a difficult pregnancy with hyperemesis, and one colicky baby later, and now I'm thinking one and done! I also know she won't be 40 walking around with colic, so it makes me wonder if I theoretically want to stick to the plan to ttc #2 when she is two, or go ahead and start trying when she is around 1 while I'm still fresh and in the thick of it. How about you? </p>