https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 13:26:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-had-a-strong-mommy-preference-and-then-you-had-a-baby#post-2741254 Sun, 28 May 2017 20:27:37 +0000 anonysquire 2741254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My last 2 are 2 years apart and my middle sons mommy preference hasn't diminished at all. He still needs me 24/7 or needs to be touching me or holding me or next to me. Both of my boys are clingy and I adore it!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-had-a-strong-mommy-preference-and-then-you-had-a-baby#post-2741217 Sun, 28 May 2017 15:08:32 +0000 Cherrybee 2741217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was really hard watching E go through this. She would wake in the night screaming for me and if DH went in to her she would flail around and kick at him, crying that she wanted mummy. It was the main reason I gave up pumping - the schedule and the mastitis meant I couldn't be there enough for E. I ended up delegating a lot of the baby tasks to DH so I could do all bedtimes, night wakings etc - it was important to show E that nothing can take mummy away. She really loves her sister now so it was all worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-had-a-strong-mommy-preference-and-then-you-had-a-baby#post-2741178 Sun, 28 May 2017 10:44:28 +0000 LemonJack 2741178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Take this with a grain of salt as baby #2 isn't here yet, but we tried to transition as many things to DH as possible to give DD time to adjust. We both hang out with her at bedtime for awhile, but he takes the lead and will sit and read or talk with her for a few minutes after I leave the room. Last night I stayed in there instead of DH and she freaked out, wanting daddy. She wouldn't have done that two months ago. Basically she's used to daddy being the one to put her down or get up with her. She had SUCH a strong mommy preference for a long time that I wouldn't have expected we would be at this point. I hope it helps when baby arrives soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-had-a-strong-mommy-preference-and-then-you-had-a-baby#post-2740720 Fri, 26 May 2017 10:52:44 +0000 snowjewelz 2740720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Blue: I was selfish; I was unwilling to let it go but in hindsight I think it might have been helpful to transition some of the things earlier. I mean, she might have still 'acted out' all the same when the baby came home, so who knows! But we literally moved her to her own room for night time AND switched to DH doing bed time the day I came back with the baby. Oops!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-had-a-strong-mommy-preference-and-then-you-had-a-baby#post-2740715 Fri, 26 May 2017 10:49:35 +0000 Mrs. Blue 2740715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mommy Finger: Great advice! I was thinking since I need to get the baby taking a bottle before daycare anyway that I could take G for some "special days," which at our house means an afternoon with lunch and a fun activity with just me and one kid. I've done that now and then with the twins to make sure they get some one on one time with me. G's just now getting old enough to really do that &amp; make it through without a nap, so hopefully that will be a fun thing that I can tell him he can start doing now that he's a "big boy like your brothers." Meanwhile, DH can stay with the baby and convince her that bottles are delicious. :grin: </p> <p>@snowjewelz: Good idea on transitioning some of those things now. I only have a couple months, so I should probably work on having DH do bedtime more, etc., since that is one of the things I still do the majority of the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-had-a-strong-mommy-preference-and-then-you-had-a-baby#post-2740705 Fri, 26 May 2017 10:40:24 +0000 snowjewelz 2740705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD1 has always preferred me even though she prob she spends more time with daddy! </p> <p>It was hard b/c I normally WOH, so after DD2 was born she saw me more than she ever did. She was def super clingy and jealous. I was also the one to put her to bed 99% of the time, so she fought bedtime pretty bad when we switched to DH putting her to bed. My mistake was not starting the transitions earlier! </p> <p>But I gave her lots of attention whenever I wasn't nursing DD2 as a newborn; and sneaked out tons during maternity leave to do special mommy/me things. It was rough for the first few weeks, but I'd say that those things are all normal things that come with adding a sibling, and she has transitioned wonderfully and still prefers me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-had-a-strong-mommy-preference-and-then-you-had-a-baby#post-2740693 Fri, 26 May 2017 10:20:51 +0000 Mommy Finger 2740693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The best advice I can give you is to carve out some time as often as you can manage where it's just the 2 of you. Obviously it's hard when you have 4 kids but that's what I've had to do with my oldest. His mommy preference is HUGE and I just have to dote on him a bit more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-had-a-strong-mommy-preference-and-then-you-had-a-baby#post-2740672 Fri, 26 May 2017 09:56:52 +0000 Mrs. Blue 2740672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another thread got me thinking about this. </p> <p>Graham (2 1/2 yrs) has a major mommy preference and always has, but it has gotten better. He loves DH and occasionally requests him or wants both of us or will only fuss for a minute about not being with me and then will happily settle in with DH to read, play, etc. </p> <p>I'm due in 2 months with our last baby. The twins definitely went through an adjustment period after G was born, so I know to expect a little behavior, insecurity, etc., but they didn't really have a parental preference. I'm wondering what I might expect with G having to suddenly adjust to mama being much less available. </p> <p>The situation makes me a little extra nervous because I've heard my dad talk about when his little sister was born. They're only 2 years apart, and he was never very close to his mom after his sister was born. He said that everyone said when the baby was born, he just stopped wanting anything to do with her and became a super daddy's boy. His mom was such a good, kind woman &amp; he obviously loved her very much as an adult, but he's told me that he thinks in his mind as a little guy he felt like she betrayed him somehow by having a baby, even though that's not rational in the adult mind, and so he just decided he didn't need her anymore and could do life without her (which is actually very much in line with his personality and somewhat in line with my little dude's personality--very, very stubborn &amp; independent). </p> <p>Thoughts on how to ease the transition for a little guy with a super mama-preference? Experiences to share? </p>