https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 01:32:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446681 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 17:00:37 +0000 delight 1446681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The grandparents all live in our city. My dad comes over for a visit one morning a week. I usually bring LO to each grandmas house once a week and they also come by to help with babysitting often.we probably see our moms each at least twice a week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446558 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 16:24:59 +0000 pinkcupcake 1446558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends! She lives about :20 away from me and we see each other maybe 3x week? Sometimes she comes here, other times I go there (she has a cat that LO loves), but more often she will pop by my house to say hi. Or we will meet somewhere for lunch or dinner. She understands having a toddler is tough so she's very flexible and willing to work around Los needs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446428 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 15:58:54 +0000 skipra 1446428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cchoi4: I feel like we have a similar relationship with my in-laws and honestly it makes me think poorly of them. They live about an hour away but we just moved and use to only be like 40 minutes away. It is a difficult distance to travel with a baby/toddler - not long enough for a nap but very long for him to be awake. Not once have they driven out to see us unless SIL has driven, which happened 3 times since DS was born (now 17 months). They took the train and a cab for his birthday and never made arrangements to get back home so DH had to drive an hour round trip to drop them off at the train station after the party. DH mentioned it to them and SIL (who lives right down the street from them) got really bent out of shape saying it's so much easier for US to drive to them so we just need to do it. For that and several other reasons we are no longer on speaking terms with SIL and MIL doesn't like to drive on the highway so I seriously doubt they will be visiting us any time soon. Instead we hardly ever see them. I feel like that side of the family likes the idea of having a grandson/nephew in theory, like showing off his photos and acting like they are so excited about him yet they don't put in any effort to see him.<br /> My family is just over an hour away. My parents are divorced and still live in my hometown (DH's family moved a couple years ago so we are not at all familiar with the area) by the beach so often it makes more sense for us to go there, especially in the summer, but they all do visit us too. And both my mom and step-mother will come for just a couple hours to babysit if I need to go to the doctor or something. MIL wouldn't even come when I was in the ER and we needed someone to watch DS and both my moms were on vacation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446292 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 15:31:20 +0000 Dandelion 1446292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both. But we go there more than they come here. But I'm gyessing with the new baby and new house this will swing more towards them coming over to my place more for a while. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446214 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 15:14:00 +0000 edelweiss 1446214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we live close to my parents. if they are watching him for us, then we bring him over there (unless it's in the evening and we are going out for a date night, in which case they come over).</p> <p>if it's just to see each other, i would want them to come over so i don't have to haul everything to their place.</p> <p>as for what is reasonable, it totally depends on your situation and preferences. do you think it would persuade your mom to come over if you were able to stock some of her favorite foods, or do you think the real reason is the driving? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446211 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 15:13:33 +0000 Cherrybee 1446211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My inlaws watch DD three days per week (at their house) so that doesn't really count..... but my mum lives a five/ten minute drive away and I generally go to hers to visit. She doesn't drive so, for her, getting to our house is a real mission (two busses plus a short walk - which she finds difficult). If she comes to ours, it's because one of us has picked her up and brought her round....</p> <p>I think your mum should be a bit reasonable here and bring her own food to yours sometimes!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446169 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 15:05:51 +0000 mrsjyw 1446169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both our parents live super close (my parents five miles away, ILs fifteen miles).</p> <p>My mom watches ds when I'm at work both at our place and her place. She also watches him overnight at her place. </p> <p>ILs come over for weekly dinner to see DS. Sometimes we go over there depending on whether/timing/DS naps/etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446159 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 15:03:17 +0000 sandy 1446159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents live 10 minutes away from us and they come over almost all the time. They come see her 2-3 times a week. We go there sometimes but maybe once every 2-3 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446113 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 14:55:00 +0000 ShootingStar 1446113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My FIL comes to see us, but we go to visit MIL. MIL doesn't have a car and lives about 40 minutes away. She could take public transportation to get to us, but it would take hours. I don't mind going over there, but it is so much easier to have people at our house. It's easier to breastfeed, it's easier to change him, we have all our baby stuff like swing and bouncy seat, extra burp cloths and bibs, etc. </p> <p>If the issue is food, I would just ask her what you can keep in the house for her, or tell her to bring her own with her. If she wants to see the kids, then she might have to go out of her way a little. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446035 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 14:36:08 +0000 autumnlove 1446035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both, but she prefers us coming over! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446034 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 14:36:08 +0000 looch 1446034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there storage space you could use to maybe leave the travel crib there?</p> <p>Also, don't involve meal times. There's a nice stretch of time in the afternoon between lunch and dinner, use it to your advantage to go somewhere out of the house, like a children's museum or something of the sort. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446032 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 14:35:37 +0000 LuLu Mom 1446032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do both, our parents are both about 30 minutes away. We mix it up and the grandparents like to see LO at least once every 2 weeks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446021 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 14:32:51 +0000 Charm54 1446021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are a 2 min drive away... We usually go there once -twice a weekend and they usually come here once or twice during the week. Now that she goes to bed earlier it is much easier for them to come here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446006 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 14:29:58 +0000 Smurfette 1446006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both! My parents are 45 mins away. Sometimes we go there and sometimes they come to us. My parents have a PnP for her to nap in. They a lot of toys since my nephews used to live 10+ hours away, they couldn't bring toys with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1446005 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 14:29:43 +0000 Mae 1446005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like with all the hassle of getting 2 kids and their gear ready to go, she should come to see you more often. It seems easier for her to pack her own food than it does for you to pack 2 kids + their stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-lo-has-grandparents-living-within-reasonable-distance#post-1445965 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 14:20:17 +0000 Cchoi4 1445965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you usually take LO to see them or do they come to see you?<br /> If you do both, how often do you take them over and how often do the grandparents come to your place?</p> <p>My mom (with whom I have a strained relationship) only lives 5 miles away from me by highway. She is a nervous driver so taking local takes longer. </p> <p>That being said, she still prefers me to bring my kids to her place, knowing that I have many things to bring with me to make the stay a bit easier (carseat, snacks, diaper bag, a toy or two for older DS, Ergo, possibly the travel crib if we stay longer than 2 hours) and can never "commit" to a definite time bc young DS doesn't wake up or nap on command.</p> <p>I'm wondering if I am being unreasonable for wanting my mom to come to my house more. She complains that "I never have any food to eat" but the thing is, she has many self imposed and non self imposed dietary restrictions that make eating anywhere other than her own house very difficult (doesn't eat citrus, no beef or pork, no tomato products, no spices, no butter or too many fats, no white bread/rice), does not like to order out ANY kind of food and if we do, she eats it grudgingly.</p> <p>So far, we just don't see each other very much and don't talk that much either. What would be somewhat of a reasonable schedule - I bring kids to her vs her coming to see my kids? </p>