https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 08:02:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2464267 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 10:29:11 +0000 daniellemybelle 2464267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So interesting to hear the variety! My mom is very helpful and I enjoy her company :grin: Like a couple of you mentioned, I know she would be a big help with LO1 too. </p> <p>I do really like the idea of her staying in an airbnb though so we can have our own space - in the interest of getting her to stay as long as possible! It's hard to say now what my ideal is but I am thinking 3-4 weeks. The first week DH would be off &amp; then he would hopefully take another week or two off when my mom left. Even though I am hoping for a VBAC I am thinking just in case I have a RCS so that would get me to the 6 weeks of recovery where I could lift the car seat, LO1, etc again.</p> <p>@blackbird: Well, that sounds nice! Guessing you had an easy recovery and sleep deprivation doesn't get to you? Between the lack of sleep, physical pain and hormonal roller coaster I was SUCH a mess the first few weeks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2464248 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 10:19:50 +0000 Alivoo01 2464248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For DS, my mom stayed with me for a month and that was already too much! She wasn't helpful other than folding my laundry.</p> <p>For DD, she'll only be staying for a week. I think that's a good amount of time. Although, I wouldn't mind keeping my dad around a bit longer. He's an awesome cook! lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2464128 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 09:08:08 +0000 KayKay 2464128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine stayed for 5 weeks after LO2 was born but DH didnt officially get any time off (it was around thanksgiving and slow so he managed to swing a week mostly off). It was awesome, especially bc she could focus on LO1 and keeping her entertained and giving her plenty of attention. And I could focus on LO2 and myself. </p> <p>We also didn't have any local family to help. And DH was working a ton (medical training). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2464087 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 08:51:07 +0000 Mrs D 2464087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not me, but my sister.</p> <p>My mom stayed with her from the night before induction...through her hospital stay (2 days - so she could care for their LO1) and then stayed 2 days after they came home. </p> <p>She left before the weekend - when my sisters DH would be home with her so they could settle in to a family of 4. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2464066 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 08:41:51 +0000 Rockies11 2464066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: my mom was also super weird about it. She agreed after some intense pressure to come over when baby #2 was born, which was helpful because I was in the hospital for a week. The baby was late so she was super steamed about having to "wait around". Then when I finally got home I was barely able to walk with 4th degree tearing and a broken tailbone, and I still had HG, so I was literally vomiting in our driveway, crying and she was like " bye!" 10 minutes after I got home. So then I had 2 under 2 and was alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2464050 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 08:29:15 +0000 Mamaof2 2464050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>she stayed 2 weeks - it was awesome! DH only got a few days off and he works 90 miles away so my mom was taking DS to and from DCP for me and then coming home and helping around the house and stuff. I sobbed like a baby when she left! :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463896 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 22:24:30 +0000 catomd00 2463896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom stayed for 10 days with my first (in a hotel) and it was way too long. She's not helpful though and just mostly annoyed me. My MIl is super helpful and offered to come over whenever I needed it once DH went to work but I never asked her to. I really didn't feel I needed any help. I'll probably take her up on it this time Moreso So I can have 1:1 time with the baby. As for my mom, I have no clue how long she will come when #2 arrives,but Ideally I'll just go visit her when baby is 6 weeks or so. I don't know if she will accept that though. Clearly you have a much different relationship with your mom! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463888 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 22:14:22 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2463888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom came a few days before and stayed a few days after. I would have liked her to be here longer but she still works and her real patients need her too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463866 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 21:57:41 +0000 blackbird 2463866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>None-honestly, I didn't need any help this time. My mom group did a meal train, which was amazing. DH took a week off, then he did drop off and pick up at daycare for another week or two-then I switched back to doing drop off. T was a super easy and chill baby, so I basically got to relax in the quiet, watch tv, nap, and organize the house. After being go go go since having E, it was nice to not have to host anyone (and it would be hosting with mine...) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463751 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 20:00:06 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2463751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She stayed Sunday - Friday. Baby born Sunday, we were home from the hospital Tuesday. She would have stayed longer if I wanted. She came back when ds was 2 weeks for a couple days. </p> <p>This time DH will be working like crazy and my son will be 2 and I'm likely having a c section. She said she will come for as long as needed. I imagine a couple weeks and maybe going home for weekends. She lives 3 hours a way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463718 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 19:36:18 +0000 Finfan 2463718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My ILs live in the same town and we see them everyday. </p> <p>My mom lives about 2.5 hours away and stayed with us for 3-4 days when LO2 was born. My dad came a few weeks later and stayed a week. He lives on the other side of the country. DD2's nursery (errrr still a work in progress) was the guest room and was designed to serve both functions as she can bunk with us when necessary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463706 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 19:30:05 +0000 regberadaisy 2463706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom came and stayed for about a month. She stayed in the guest bedroom. She's retired and my DH only gets a week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463703 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 19:28:35 +0000 Alba4 2463703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both my mom and mil stayed with us, maybe a week each? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463699 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 19:27:12 +0000 NovBaby1112 2463699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom stayed a week with us after LO1 and LO2, and I would have loved if she stayed longer- even forever!! Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463568 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 17:17:37 +0000 Pumuckl 2463568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH couldn't stay home once LO2 was born so my mom stayed for two weeks. She didn't stay at our place since my grandmother's house was only 15min away. </p> <p>She came in the mornings to take LO1 to daycare then came back and helped with housework. We'd often drink a cup of tea and then she'd leave until the afternoon when she'd grocery shop, pick up LO1 and cook dinner for us. It was great because I had help but still had quiet time to bond (and nap!) with LO2.</p> <p>After two weeks I felt ready to tackle things by myself and it worked out really well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463542 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 16:51:46 +0000 mrsrain 2463542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents came for a week, then we had a few days to ourselves, then my in-laws came for a week. They're all doing the same again this time, and then a few weeks later my sister is coming to stay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463540 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 16:49:57 +0000 Greentea 2463540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is currently a problem for me :/ We don't have a great relationship, but she offered to come out... but leave two weeks before kid is due, or come two weeks after... what the heck? Obviously I would need help most WHILE in labor with DD1. It is par for her course. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463537 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 16:47:56 +0000 travelgirl1 2463537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No one came out. We did ask MIL but she couldn't and actually, when it came to it, I was grateful no one else was there. I was a hot mess after my c-section, our apartment was small and I had my boobs out to nurse all day. I didn't need an audience for that. I may have felt different with my own mum, but probably not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463522 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 16:41:38 +0000 Foodnerd81 2463522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom stayed for a week and change wth my first- we have a 1 bed but she slept in the baby's room while baby was in our room. This time she came up for a day while I was in the hospital. No room for her to stay with us since the toddler has her own room. Kind of stinks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463515 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 16:37:52 +0000 Ree723 2463515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom stayed for six weeks when DD2 arrived. We lived in Australia though, and she was in the US, so there was no way she was making that journey for only a week or two! We also were in the early stages of packing up for our big international move to England, via the US, so having here there to mind 19 month old DD1 and newborn DD2 was invaluable, especially as DH was working 80 hr work weeks, six days a week at the time.</p> <p>My mom also came out for seven weeks when DD1 was born (again in Australia) and with both girls, she timed her arrival for two weeks after the baby was due to arrive so she'd be arriving right about the time DH was due to go back to work after his paternity leave. Fortunately, both girls were pretty punctual so it worked out well. In both houses, we had a guest room with its own bathroom so it worked out ok in terms of having enough space. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463486 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 16:26:18 +0000 psw27 2463486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom stayed for 2 weeks when LO arrived. Our house was so tiny but she slept on an air mattress in the nursery since he was in our bedroom. We have a larger house now, so hopefully if we have LO #2 someday she can stay for at least as long. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463479 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 16:24:09 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2463479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom stayed for a while with my first but we had a nice guest bedroom. </p> <p>With my second, she only stayed 4-5 days I think. </p> <p>Looking into an AirBNB is a great idea. Maybe we will look at that for #3. It would be nice to have her in the house but I think she also needs space away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-mom-lives-far-away-how-long-did-she-stay-when-you-had-a-baby-did-she-stay-with-you#post-2463472 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 16:18:04 +0000 daniellemybelle 2463472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we have LO2, I assume we will still live far away from my mom. It is so hard to imagine because with LO1 we lived WITH them and my mom was an enormous help. Night and day. I really leaned on her for months!</p> <p>I am hoping my mom can come for several weeks if/when we have another but I think with a long stay like that, we both may desire our own space. When we lived with my parents their house was about 4x the size of our current house and there wasn't a toddler to contend with as well. So my ideal set up is to find my mom an airbnb nearby where she can make herself at home for, oh, like forever. :silly: She does work part time right now so realistically it will probably not be a month long stay but a girl can dream!</p> <p>DH is fortunate to get 12 weeks of paternity leave at his current company but few people actually take it and I think he would go nuts taking 3 months off so I am going to probably encourage him to take 1-2 weeks, go back to work and let my mom help me for as long as she can stay, and then take another week or two once she has to leave. </p>