https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 16:40:55 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2079426 Sat, 21 Feb 2015 06:16:34 +0000 Applesandbananas 2079426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: my heart breaks thinking a grandparent could hate their grandchild. </p> <p>Almost everyone in my family has hearing loss and no one ever blamed me for LO having hearing loss. Even if the genes came from me or you, it's not our fault! It's not like you can control your genes! </p> <p>Sending so many hugs your way. You are the most incredible mom to your LO and he is perfect--don't let anyone try to make you think otherwise. </p> <p>&lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2079422 Sat, 21 Feb 2015 06:04:19 +0000 spaniellove 2079422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kimberlybee: I know that logically her comments are nothing but wrong and racist, yet they manage to eat at me. It's probably tied together with what she said as soon as LO was diagnosed deaf - she pulled me aside and told me it had to have come from me and my family because they don't have any bad genes like that in their family. Just because my dad has Meniere's (caused by a virus and confirmed by everyone we work with to have no genetic link) but really because she thinks we are so dirty and inferior. Although I know that it's not true at all, when things are tough with LOs needs I feel like I'm being forced to serve some punishment for giving them this grandchild they hate so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2079375 Sat, 21 Feb 2015 00:53:25 +0000 Kimberlybee 2079375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: My DD isn't biracial but I just wanted to say that your baby is so so so cute! How could anyone not adore him? Looking Asian is not inferior, that's so racist to insinuate. Your in-laws sound rotten and so unpleasant to be around with their rude comments. I guess you and DH just have to provide that extra TLC so that he'll never have to feel inferior. (Which is so much better than being around unkind relatives!) Pretty and cute babies come in all sizes, looks, and color. Also, being a nail salon owner is an honest living and some of these owners are very wealthy in terms of having huge cash flow, assets, and zero debt. Just ignore their rude ass comments! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077717 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 20:17:28 +0000 catlady 2077717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: As others have mentioned, your LO's looks may change over time. I'm half-Chinese and looked 100% Asian at birth, but over time I grew to look more and more like my Caucasian mother. Now most people have no idea that I'm Asian. Hopefully your ILs will change how they feel too. My grandparents practically disowned by mom for marrying a Chinese man and when I was first born, they were very weird about my race, but things got better pretty quickly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077661 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 19:45:24 +0000 BKCaribBaby 2077661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is very, very, light and at times doesn't look like she would even have a Black mother. Part of me feels like my ILs are secretly more comfortable that she came out looking more like them. That's only my internal talk and not based on anything that they have said. I often wonder if she had darker skin and a coarser hair texture, if they would treat her the same way. Who knows? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077651 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 19:40:42 +0000 Anagram 2077651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When LO was born, she didn't look mixed at all.... She was very brown and had jet black hair and totally black eyes. I'm super pale, with dark blonde hair and blue/ green eyes.</p> <p>Now her coloring is a little more "mixed"--her skin is basically halfway between me and DH and her eyes are still black/brown but her hair has lightened to a very dark brown. </p> <p>DHs family think she looks "so white" and a lot like me; my family think she looks like DHs family--- but they all agree she is super cute! They've never made negative comments at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077631 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 19:31:12 +0000 gingerbebe 2077631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm Korean and DH is Irish and my family loooooves my son. But he basically looks like my husband (including a distinctive chin, DH's dimples, body shape, even hair growth pattern!). He has slightly almond shaped eyes and my Asian coloring (golden skin, black hair, brown eyes) but that's about it. My family thinks DS is gorgeous because he has huge eyes and long lashes from his father (beauty traits Koreans really value). My in-laws adore DS too, but they weren't under any illusions about our kid looking Asian. Besides, he looks/acts so much like his father, there's no mistaking he's DH's son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077498 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 17:48:39 +0000 Ginabean3 2077498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO looks like me (Chinese) but my Caucasian in-laws love her to bits and pieces and have never said anything about how she looks other than, "she's sooooooo cute!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077457 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 17:23:28 +0000 ShootingStar 2077457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Yoyo: My grandmother used to affectionately call me something that basically means "non-jew". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077269 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 15:53:38 +0000 avivoca 2077269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Yes, my skin color is close to hers but my hair is finer and not as coarse as my sisters. My sister is much lighter than I am but has coarse hair like my mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077246 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 15:44:56 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2077246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: I hate that being a small business owner thus a job creator is turned into an insult. Your ILs sound like real peaches, the ones plucked off the tree too soon and taste bitter.</p> <p>@avivoca: olive skin is like Kathy Najimy, right? Who's a light skin black celeb with same color as your dad? Just curious because my bro and I are both considered light, but he's clearly darker than me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077189 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 15:09:08 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2077189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Tiger: yup. Gori is light (feminine) and Kali is dark. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077188 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 15:08:44 +0000 LovelyPlum 2077188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: what a retched thing to say to a person :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077176 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 15:04:02 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 2077176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My ILs used to call my son the Thai word for foreigner. DROVE ME INSANE, no matter how they intended it. DS2 looks even whiter than DS1, who is a pretty even mix, so who knows what they think. </p> <p>My parents OTOH couldn't care less and have never made a single comment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077142 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:52:35 +0000 Mrs. J 2077142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My cousin is German, Irish, Italian, and her husband is Cambodian and German. Their oldest looked/s very Cambodian and the youngest looks very German/Irish, but as the oldest gets older, I find she's still got Cambodian coloring, but her features look a little more like our side. </p> <p>The director of my dance studio has red hair and is very pale, but her kids both look more Japanese. People always ask if they're hers! </p> <p>@spaniellove: I am so sorry your inlaws are like that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077139 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:51:57 +0000 avivoca 2077139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: Wow. I can't even. Just wow. I'm sorry your IL's are like that. :heart: </p> <p>I am biracial, and my sister and I look much more white than black. She has my mom's hair texture with my dad's light skin and I have more of an olive skin tone and my dad's hair texture. Both of us have curly hair. H looks exactly like my husband but she's got my skin tone and curly/wavy hair. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077124 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:49:05 +0000 MapleMoose 2077124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, that's sad. </p> <p>My Caucasian parents don't care either way, though they always say how beautiful their granddaughters are. I'm pretty sure they'd think they were beautiful even if they had three eyes lol. My Asian MIL picks them apart, pointing out "how white her granddaughters look" and xyz body part "is so white". She comes across as being disappointed but DH and I just ignore her. Not sure how we will prevent DDs from noticing her apparent disappointment but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it I suppose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077105 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:43:29 +0000 mrsjyw 2077105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: I'm so sorry you have to deal with that! And J too! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077104 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:43:13 +0000 mrbee 2077104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: Your inlaws say the most horrible things at times!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077098 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:41:54 +0000 BSB 2077098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: :( I'm so sorry they feel this way. Hugs!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077095 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:41:16 +0000 spaniellove 2077095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: @mrsjyw: @sunny: @Mrs. Tiger: Yeah. (And I'm so so so sorry to anyone I've offended. It's a pretty offensive thing to say.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077089 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:39:43 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2077089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: yiiiiiikes! </p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: no clue what those words mean! Does that mean light and dark? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077088 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:39:37 +0000 sunny 2077088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077080 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:37:52 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2077080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Tiger: you have a gora and a kala, although if he speaks Tamil and not Hindi/Urdu, I don't know the exact term. I just know that in the town I grew up in, being a gori girl was a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077066 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:34:45 +0000 mrsjyw 2077066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: WTF?! :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077060 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:33:42 +0000 PinkElephant 2077060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry your inlaws make you feel this way :(</p> <p>My DH is Indian &amp; Caucasian, and I'm fully Caucasian, with light hair, skin, and eyes. I expected our kids not to look very much like me in terms of hair/eye/skin color, but my 2.5 year old looks like me with a fantastic sun tan and darker eyes - even her hair is light. The baby resembles her father, but with 100% my coloring. Everyone in both families is pretty surprised - this not how biology class led us to believe dominant genes would work! No one gives us a hard time, other moms who don't know DH always ask if we've been on holiday because of the girls' skin tone though! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077029 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:26:47 +0000 regberadaisy 2077029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077022 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:25:07 +0000 spaniellove 2077022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Tiger: It can be so weird the way appearances are valued in different cultures. I think my family likes that J looks like a slightly "whiter" version of me as a baby and thus prettier, but not white enough to look foreign to them. Whereas my ILs see Koreans as...the people who run their neighborhood nail salon (as my MIL reminds me so often) so it's not a joy to now be related to one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077018 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:22:50 +0000 sunny 2077018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO looks a lot like me (Asian) but with DH's complexion and eyes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-multiracial-child-resembles-one-parent-much-more-than-the-other#post-2077010 Thu, 19 Feb 2015 14:18:59 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2077010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's complicated for us since in Mr T's family, lighter skin is "better" so they are thrilled with K looking white. I'm sorry your ILs feel that way, sad that they needed the genetic proof! </p>