https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 06:57:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-2789398 Thu, 30 Nov 2017 13:47:16 +0000 SweetiePie 2789398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@annabanana: Hi! First off I’m sorry you are facing a similar situation. It’s so hard to be told you can’t/shouldn’t conceive the old fashioned way. It’s emotionally, physically and financially draining.<br /> I ultimately decided to go ahead with IVF. After discussing ad nauseam with my husband we decided that trying on our own and miscarrying (or worse) again to eventually have to do IVF anyway would just set us back for months and we were ready to start a family. We had already been trying for a year and who knew how much longer it would take - either way.<br /> We got lucky and our first round of IVF worked. Out of 8 embryos tested only 1 was normal (my odds ended up being way worse than they initially stated at the beginning of this post - my RE gave me odds more like 15-20% of my eggs were viable and sure enough he was right as 1/8 was good). We now have a 3 year old who is our pride and joy. We now know that our miscarriages and my chromosome issue were part of God’s plan because had they not happened we wouldn’t have DS.<br /> I’m also currently pregnant with DS2. Also IVF. I briefly grappled with the same thought process - should we just try on our own and see what happens. I’m glad I didn’t because it turned out those 3 or so years since the first time my body drastically changed. After 2 rounds of all abnormal embryos and poor response, my RE suggested donor eggs but I did feel I wanted to do one more round. And that was the round we got TWO good embryos. I’m 25 weeks pregnant with one and we have another frozen for later if we choose to keep expanding our family. </p> <p>Anyway, this is just the brief version of my decision and outcome, if you’d like more details feel free to ask anything.<br /> Ultimately just follow your instinct. My HEART wanted to try again on our own but my HEAD knew that IVF was the right choice. Sometimes the heart and head align, for me it didn’t. I’m glad I listened to my head. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-2789387 Thu, 30 Nov 2017 13:33:02 +0000 mrswin 2789387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@annabanana: I have tagged her for you. When you want to tag someone so they get a notification click the word reply in the top right hand corner of their message</p> <p>@SweetiePie: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-2789355 Thu, 30 Nov 2017 12:21:08 +0000 annabanana 2789355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetiepie, I know this post is 4 years old and you may not even see this...but in the off chance you do, do you mind sharing what you decided? I have a very similar situation and this thread has given me lots of encouragement. While I hate others are going through the same thing, it’s nice to know I’m not alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1159846 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 19:44:57 +0000 rachiecakes 1159846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: :::big hugs::: you're doing all the right things, looking for all the right information, asking all the right questions. you'll be a great mom no matter how you get there :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1159756 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 18:36:34 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1159756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I think the odds are 20% each cycle for normal people, so he's probably reducing your percentage from there? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1159729 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 18:03:16 +0000 SweetiePie 1159729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: @LovelyPlum: @pui: Thanks ladies :-) Unfortunately the BDing didn't happen as planned. Long story but nothing I can do about it now. </p> <p>So yesterday (Thurs) we had our first RE appointment and I was shocked. He gave us odds that are just mind boggling. He said that if we try on our own we only have a FIVE percent chance each time of conceiving a healthy baby. FIVE?!? I just wasn't expecting that. I want to believe that he's not saying that because he's biased and wants to scare us into IVF...he's one of the best in NYC and is associated with a great hospital. But that just seems so low. </p> <p>Anyway, now I feel like IVF is our only hope to have our own baby. I've been crying a lot since yesterday.<br /> But at the same time, the odds he gave us were pretty great for IVF w/PGD, so at least I know its a solid option. </p> <p>Just wanted to give an update and type it out. Makes it more real :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1149719 Mon, 14 Oct 2013 20:13:54 +0000 pui 1149719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: God willing. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1149653 Mon, 14 Oct 2013 19:46:16 +0000 LovelyPlum 1149653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: eek! So long as you're at peace, then good for you. Hoping for the best results for you, even if they don't come this cycle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1149643 Mon, 14 Oct 2013 19:42:09 +0000 Lindsay05 1149643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1149574 Mon, 14 Oct 2013 19:10:03 +0000 SweetiePie 1149574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So here we go! I have a blaringly positive OPK this evening (it was negative this morning). So I think that we'll BD once tonight and see what happens! I'm really taking this "if it's meant to be" thing far :-) We get pregnant easily so I won't be surprised if it works, but I will be shocked if it sticks and is healthy!</p> <p>Wish us luck! ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1138217 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 12:50:19 +0000 SweetiePie 1138217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: @Mrs. Jacks: @LovelyPlum: @Mrs.Someone: @MrsKoala: Awww thanks girls. :-) I will chant in my head "I am not broken. I am not broken. I am not broken." ;-)</p> <p>I wish it was next Thursday alreadyyyyyyyy! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1137767 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 09:10:25 +0000 MrsKoala 1137767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: You are not a nut nor are you broken. To be honest, I think you are handling this so well and are so strong. I know that I probably would not be as strong as you are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1137754 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 09:04:01 +0000 Mrs.Someone 1137754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Another vote for you being perfect just as you are! Think of it as evolution. We all are making small changes in genetics along the way for our species to evolve (no, I'm not a scientist, so hopefully this is along the right idea). Also, all of us have something rough that we go through in life, but we get through it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1137742 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 09:00:32 +0000 LovelyPlum 1137742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: you're not broken, promise!!! It just is. I feel broken a lot, too...but I'm always assured I'm wrong. You're wrong, too :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1137709 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 08:50:00 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1137709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: you are not broken! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1137697 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 08:47:40 +0000 irene 1137697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: No you don't sound crazy at all. ETA: agree with @Mrs. Jacks: AND you are NOT broken. !!! </p> <p>So when they say an "unhealthy" baby, meaning that it will have a strange chromosome count and likely wouldn't survive..... but is there a chance that it will? so if it survives and you carry full term, he/she *may* have long term medical issues to battle with?</p> <p>That would be what I worry about... if I were you and tried naturally and it sticks, it may have issues and my baby may have medical issues. That's why I voted I would just go with IVF if they are for sure that my baby will be healthy. </p> <p>I hope the appointment you have with the RE will give you good suggestions, and I hope your gut instinct is right! Sending warm healing thoughts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1137644 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 08:27:10 +0000 SweetiePie 1137644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: Yep, that's right. I know, I'm a nut for wanting to try on my own. I checked with my Genetic Counselor and she said that every couple handles it differently and if that's what I feel I need to do in order to move on, then I should do it (as long as I'm prepared for the worst, which I think I am).<br /> Its almost like I need ONE MORE confirmation that I'm broken. I know that I have the scientific evidence that I am...but I don't know, I guess its just hard for me to believe. Like, maybe two times was a freak thing...we didn't get the first fetus tested...so if it happens a third time and we get it tested and its another T18 or T20, then I know for sure.</p> <p>I don't know, its still something I'm struggling with. I know that I'd have a baby sooner with IVF, but I'm afraid I'll worry later that I jumped the gun. A case of the "what ifs". </p> <p>Who knows, maybe after Thursday he will have thoroughly convinced me to just dive in head first to IVF. I'm open to that too, if that's what my gut instinct changes to.</p> <p>I feel like I sound crazy. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1137627 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 08:17:22 +0000 irene 1137627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: That's good :)</p> <p>So I don't understand.... if you don't do IVF + therapy and try on your own, the probability of a healthy baby is low. If you do IVF+therapy, then they will have a good chance of giving you an all-healthy baby...?</p> <p>If that's the case, I voted IVF if it were for me. However, you need to do whatever you feel good about. So I am happy for you that there is good news. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1137624 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 08:15:32 +0000 LovelyPlum 1137624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: yay, great news!! I hope he can answer your questions and make you feel better about whatever decision you make. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1137615 Tue, 08 Oct 2013 08:12:22 +0000 SweetiePie 1137615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Small update, for those who are reading along. I got an appointment with an RE that came both personally and professionally recommended. I have 2 mutual friends who went to him and loved him...one for PCOS, one for IVF, but not PGD. And my Genetic Counselor recommended him as well.<br /> Its next Thursday, Oct 17th. Its just a consultation so that we can get some questions answered, learn about the potential timeline of things, etc.<br /> I'm so ready for next Thursday already! We might not actually do IVF for a few months if we try one more time in our own, but it will feel so good to have this in our arsenal of information. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1137368 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 22:00:06 +0000 SweetiePie 1137368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: Thank you so much for the insight. I got your wall message, I'll reply separately there :-)</p> <p>@Orvis18: Thank you :heart: </p> <p>@red_seattle: My translocation is between 18 and 20. I'm actually not sure how common or uncommon that is, but I feel like I'm reading that its not very common. But that's probably because we Google all of the negative stuff :-)<br /> Can you tell me a bit more about your CVS? Maybe we can take it to a wall conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1135500 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 09:37:05 +0000 red_seattle 1135500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: mine is 13/14, which I think is the most common BT. (Mrs. jacks or someone else may be able to confirm.) I believe age is a big thing in my favor. The rate for passing on the trisomy does increase a bit when I hit 30, and then hugely after 35. </p> <p>I think Mrs.Jacks seems to be concerned that you consider what happens in the event of conceiving a baby with the trisomy that miraculously makes it to birth at full term. It's a valid point. I know people who are carriers for a much, much, much less serious disease choose to do IVF + PGD. In a case like yours or even mine, if you have the means and desire, it's a simpler choice and, IMO, a good one. Again, because our odds are still good, it was a risk we felt comfortable with. But we did have to talk through worst case scenario. Along with the obvious concerns with paying for medical care, and the round the clock care survivors need in their short lifespans, huge medical interventions needed, etc, I think it would also depend on what you think your finances and marriage could handle. One of you would have to quit your job to care for the child, it would be a huge stressor on even the greatest marriages, etc. it's worth thinking through in making your decision.</p> <p> If IVF+PGD is an option, then I think it's a very good choice. But again-- only you can make the final call on what risks you are comfortable taking and your comfort level with a worst case scenario situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1135433 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 09:18:35 +0000 bushelandapeck 1135433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted try one more time, then IVF just because that sounds like what your heart is telling you to do. That's probably what I would do as well. I'm wishing you the best of luck on your journey! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low/page/2#post-1135424 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 09:15:49 +0000 mrs. wagon 1135424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I am so sorry you are going through this and for your losses. Praying for you and your decision no matter what it turns out to be!! God has a plan!!</p> <p>I voted to go straight to IVF. We have close friends whose baby (their first) has a rare chromosomal abnormality and her condition is pretty severe. Watching them go through everything has been absolutely devastating. Their life has turned completely upside down. It has led to us having many discussions about what we would do if it were us in their shoes. If we knew about the abnormality, we would avoid the chance of conceiving an "unhealthy" child at all costs. It sounds like the PGD is the way to go in that scenario. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low#post-1135391 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 09:02:29 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1135391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I know it's hard, but I think it is so important to think about these things because so many families get way down the road and then are faced with unthinkable choices and the tendency is just to not decide... Which ends up resulting in a chil who is trach'd and vented with a gtube, seizure disorder, structural heart problems, sensory impairments an profound developmental delays... Then the family looks back and says "how did we get here?!"...</p> <p>So it is great that you are thinking it through. I think you are well positioned to move forward, whatever you decide. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low#post-1135363 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 08:51:28 +0000 SweetiePie 1135363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: You're such a great resource on these boards, I'm so grateful for you.<br /> I think I know what I would have to do, even though it tears me apart. I don't even want to type it. :-(</p> <p>@blackbird: Thanks so much for the info! Our insurance doesn't cover any infertility treatments (to quote, "We cover any diagnostics to discover the cause of infertility, but nothing that will actually result in a pregnancy") so its helpful to get these tidbits. We are willing to spend whatever we have to (to a point) but anything to help diffuse expenses is appreciated :-)<br /> I have mini IVF on my list of things to ask an RE, if I can ever get in to see one!</p> <p>Thanks again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low#post-1135322 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 08:37:06 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1135322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: it depends somewhat on the chromosomes and where they are attached. Also, have you decided what your plan is if you weren't to miscarry? These are the kids I see all too often in my practice and I've found that people generally think that they won't survive and if they do, it's some sort of sign... So we end up doing a ton of unfortunate interventions with very little hope for meaningful interaction with the world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low#post-1135304 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 08:31:52 +0000 blackbird 1135304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you're going through this. What a hard decision :( IVF is so expensive, too (and that would be the reason I would probably continue to roll the dice, at least for a bit). Going into a pregnancy with the preparation that something could happen is....a lot different than being surprised. Just from a personal standpoint. </p> <p>If you feel like your gut is telling you to give it another shot, just prepare yourself for it. My CVS itself wasn't bad, but it was an incredibly stressful week. </p> <p>I wonder if mini-IVF Is an option for you? I know it is cheaper than regular IVF but i don't know all the details </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low#post-1135285 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 08:22:43 +0000 SweetiePie 1135285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@red_seattle: Thanks for the info!<br /> I'm 32 so I'm eager to get the show on the road. I've had 2 miscarriages already and while I think I could emotionally handle a couple more (since I'd be prepared for it), I just don't know that it makes sense timing wise. For both pregnancies, I made it to 8-10 weeks. So right there you lose a couple of months, then the D&amp;C, then the waiting for your next normal period, actually getting pregnant again, being emotionally ready, etc, its been almost a year since we started initially TTC. At 32, I just don't know that I can wait YEARS before having a child. I know it happens every day and there are women much older than me having babies. But especially if we want more than 1, I just can't see us having miscarriage after miscarriage, not knowing how long it will take to get the right combination.<br /> I wonder why my odds are so much worse? Maybe it is because of my age? (Since you said your odds of passing on the trisomy increase with age).<br /> I would think that a balanced translocation would carry the same odds, regardless of which chromosomes its between. But, maybe not? That's something interesting to ask my GC. Which of your chromosomes are translocated? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-odds-to-conceive-a-healthy-baby-naturally-were-low#post-1134805 Sun, 06 Oct 2013 19:13:11 +0000 red_seattle 1134805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>FWIW-- I have a balanced translocation, too. Though my chances are better-- something like 25% healthy baby, 50% baby with my translocation, and 25% chance of passing on a trisomy that usually results in miscarriage, and if not, death within hours of birth. (These numbers aren't exactly accurate, but close enough.) The rate of passing on the trisomy increases as I age, but since I'm still under 30, odds are still in my favor. (I've since started testing for a 2nd infertility issue, but let's not go there for this...)</p> <p>SO, the point of all this-- For us, rolling the dice is worth it, because the odds were/are still in our favor as long as the only issue is the translocation-- I'm still pretty young, and for us, IVF + PGD is not an option. </p> <p>Translocations are tricky, because it's just a matter of how many miscarriages you can handle, and possibly what your age is. In my head, I'm prepared for a few- a small handful of miscarriages during my lifetime. It goes with the territory of having a translocation. (I may change my mind after a few times though...) So what should you do? I think it's just a question how many more miscarriages you can handle. If one more, and you think your husband is on board, I'd say go ahead and see what happens. But your chances are lower than mine, and if IVF + PGD is an option, don't put yourself through more miscarriages than you feel like you and your husband could handle. </p> <p>If you do end up pregnant naturally, and decide to do the CVS, feel free to message me. We had ours at 11.5 weeks-- and it wasn't the greatest experience, but totally worth it. </p>