https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 03:45:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parents-divorced-or#post-782696 Wed, 15 May 2013 10:26:20 +0000 pui 782696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are divorced, but we had a weird dynamic. My dad is gay, so they divorced for obvious reasons. However, they are to this day best friends and raised us together (financially and otherwise). Christmas was still spent altogether, my dad and mom had "talks" with me together, my father and mother were a team. So I don't consider myself having come from a "broken home" because it was not broken, it was just different lol.</p> <p>The secure family life I had that came from having 2 parents who worked together inspired me to make sure I can provide the same for my future children.</p> <p>I was very careful about who I married and took all the steps to make sure I was ready. IMO, people get divorced at the drop of a hat these days. It would take a lot for me to divorce my husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parents-divorced-or#post-782628 Wed, 15 May 2013 10:12:38 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 782628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my parents are separated been so since I was 5. My inlaws still married after 43 years. I have to admit that as much i was wanted to get married my fear of following my parents footsteps was greater. I finally got married but I fear divorce and being a single mom like my mom was. </p> <p>My parents have a great relationship and that to me is actually better then them being together so i dont know what my problem is. My sister got married and divorced. and my other sister is getting married this year. I am celebrating my 5 year anniversary this year and even though its been rocky im happy. </p> <p>my younger sister has no interest in marriage and has commitment issues probably due to my parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parents-divorced-or#post-782589 Wed, 15 May 2013 10:04:56 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 782589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH's and my parents are divorced. It has definitely made us determined to never get divorced. I feel that we can work through most anything together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parents-divorced-or#post-782463 Wed, 15 May 2013 09:36:23 +0000 meredithNYC 782463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I both come from "broken" homes and I definitely think it has strengthened our resolve to make things work. The divorce happened 29 years ago and my parents still can't stand to be in the same room with each other, which makes family events that are important to me (graduation, my wedding, LO's baptism, etc.) SUPER fun. I know I will try very, very hard to avoid making things difficult in that way for our LO. I want her to have what I didn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parents-divorced-or#post-782435 Wed, 15 May 2013 09:28:00 +0000 Foodnerd81 782435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are still married, though I certainly see the flaws in their relationship that I know I want to try very hard to avoid. DH's parents got divorced when he was in high school and it's definitely affected him. It was part of the reason we dated so long before getting married-- he wanted to be really, really, really sure and never wants to go through a divorce. We were 29 when we got married. His younger brothers aren't really that close to getting married yet-- the 30 year old might be getting closer though.</p> <p>ETA: I agree a lot of the the way it affects the kids depends on the parents. DH's mom handled it really well, as far as I can tell, and DH and his brothers are still really close to her. Their dad.... not so much, in my opinion. He put his new wife ahead of his sons and it's negatively impacted their relationships, which sucks for them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parents-divorced-or#post-782358 Wed, 15 May 2013 08:58:03 +0000 kjpugs 782358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents were together until my dad passed away. DH's parents divorced when he was in middle school I believe, or a little earlier? He's the oldest of 5. He is in the divorce should not be an option camp though I'm sure if I cheated or something else awful he would. I made a comment to him once about "can you imagine how horrible it would be if your mom and dad didn't get divorced?" and he actually said he wished they didn't. He said their lives were great until then- that's when all the bad stuff (horrible childhood) started. I don't think his parents were a great match and his dad is remarried and SO MUCH happier/healthier now, but for their sake of their kids, they did DEFINITELY suffer badly because of their parents divorcing. I think divorce can only be ok for kids if the parents can be mature and civil and still provide stable homes. They didn't have that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parents-divorced-or#post-782345 Wed, 15 May 2013 08:55:01 +0000 MrsKoala 782345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both of our sets of parents are divorced and it has definitely made us resolve to consider divorce as a last resort option (only an answer for cheating &amp; abuse). I think that also might be why we waited to get married until we were in our 30's because we knew that we needed to find the right person to marry. Personally, I was resolved not to get married unless I felt that I could be with my SO for life and I think DH felt the same way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parents-divorced-or#post-782335 Wed, 15 May 2013 08:50:26 +0000 mrsjazz 782335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I am the oldest and DH is basically an only child (his dad has a 7-year-old). Both of our parents married at a young age and divorced/separated when we were young children. Both of our dads were out of our lives until we became adults.</p> <p>We both see divorce as a last option, but things have got to be bad. We believe that we can get through any issue through communication and counseling if needed. And we both agree that love is just one part of marriage, that there may be times where we don't like each other or even perhaps don't feel in love with each other, but we chose each other as partners and want to make it work.</p> <p>ETA: We married when I was 31 and he was 27. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parents-divorced-or#post-782201 Wed, 15 May 2013 08:03:43 +0000 Bookish 782201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, my parents separated when I was 22, and divorced when I was 25, and it has made a HUGE impact on how I view my marriage. In addition to my parents, all of my aunts, as well as my grandparents, got divorced. I made it my mission to be the stickler ;)</p> <p>In all seriousness though, I saw how my parents marriage disintegrated over a period of a decade, I saw how my dad wouldn't go to counseling, how my mom acted nasty towards him and pushed him away, how he started to travel more to get away from her, etc.</p> <p>Because of all this, I went into my marriage with an "I'll do or try anything to make this work" attitude, and so did DH. In HIS family, no one gets divorced, ever, even if they should, so that's given him some pretty strong views on how hard we should work at it as well! </p> <p>Um, this got long, but YES, it has given me tremendous impetus to make my marriage work, because I've seen the fallout from divorce, and frankly, I can't imagine anyone else out there being as perfect for me and my life as DH is. There's no way I wouldn't fight like hell to keep him! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parents-divorced-or#post-782118 Wed, 15 May 2013 07:37:13 +0000 Anagram 782118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: my parents were together for 38 years before my dad passed away, and yet...out of the 5 of us kids that have been married, three have been divorced.</p> <p>My parents had a very happy marriage and still, I'd say my siblings made some....not-so-great choices. All three that have been divorced got married by 19. Yup, we grew up in a small town where marrying right after HS was normal. They were all divorced by the 8 year mark. 2 are now remarried.</p> <p>My sister that's still married (happily) didn't get married until after college, and I didn't get married until 32! (I was never in any rush). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parents-divorced-or#post-781997 Wed, 15 May 2013 06:30:04 +0000 Ree723 781997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents separated when I was 8 but never officially divorced. They still get along well and hang out a few nights per week (weird, I know). DH's parents have the happiest, most stable marriage I've ever seen in a family; they've been married 44 years and are a wonderful example.</p> <p>To DH and I, divorce is not really an option. We believe marriage takes work and there are going to be good times and times where we're not feeling massively fulfilled or happy. But when that happens, we need to recognise it and make a conscious effort to get our marriage back on track. I don't believe in walking out on a commitment you made because you don't feel happy or fulfilled unless there are solid reasons (I.e. abuse, violence, criminal behaviour, truly irreconcilable differences etc). I think if everyone abandoned their commitments when they went through a rough spot, the world would be a pretty sad place as anything worth having, is worth fighting for. </p> <p>That's just my view though. I think the current divorce rates are pretty appalling and fueling this me, me, me generation. Our kids are growing up thinking that if something becomes too hard or doesn't make us happy, we just throw it away instead of working to fix it. I do not think this is a good thing, but then again, these are just my views and not a judgment of anyone else's choices. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parents-divorced-or#post-781978 Wed, 15 May 2013 06:05:24 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 781978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You come from a "broken home", does that give you more resolve to make your marriage and family work? What about your SO?</p> <p>Me: I think divorce is a good thing. I applaud people who seize their happy and well being and get out of bad or unfulfilling marriages. Although divorce is a last resort option, I wouldn't rule it out. My parents are divorced. </p> <p>DH: his parents divorced when he was a toddler and his dad was c out of his life for over a decade. Both of his parents remarried and divorced again. DH definitely thinks divorce will not be an option for us. He really wants the intact family he didn't have. </p> <p>We are both the oldest of our siblings. Our siblings are young, but definitely at the marrying age and I am not so surprised none of them have displayed real interest in marriage and family. Is it a generational thing? Or that divorce really shapes people differently, but in profound ways. </p>