https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 23:23:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196888 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 14:46:38 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2196888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Imabee: I am prepared to look into child care at any time if it gets to be too much. I think that just has to be understood. I thought it might get to be too much but my in laws can't get enough, they want him to sleep over! It's really special, and I'm grateful for whatever time they give him. I'm not assuming they'll do it forever, or be up for it with a second child but I would love if they'd even do part of the first year for a second child because it helped comfort me when it was time to go back to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196877 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 14:33:27 +0000 Imabee 2196877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone--this is so helpful! I'm glad to hear this arrangement working well for so many of you. This is something I am hopeful will work but a little apprehensive about the logistics. I am lucky to have flexibility to work from home, so maybe that would help if I ran into a last-minute issue.</p> <p>To those who mentioned the caregivers don't always honor your wishes or have differing ideas on parenting, I feel like that would be my main concern/trade-off with this arrangement. On the other hand, knowing our LO is with someone who loves and cares for him would be great. I also fear this will be more like a job than helping out (that my ILs will get more than they bargained for). I'm not sure if it's worth looking into daycare a few days a week or if we should just give it a try with my ILs and see how it goes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196840 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 14:07:42 +0000 cranberry 2196840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom watches DD 2-3 days per week (it alternates weekly). The other 2-3 days per week I pay my cousin to watch her. On days where my mom is on vacation or has someplace to go, I see if my cousin can switch days and if not we try to find another family member to watch her or I'll take off work or work from home. It's worked out well so far, but I like that I have two different caregivers instead of just one to make it less like a full time job and to give them (and me) some added flexibility. </p> <p>On days my mom has her, DD goes to my mom's house. I feel like this is less inconvenient for my mom and that way she can get other stuff done while DD is playing or napping. On days I'm going into the office, I drop DD off and pick her up. On days I'm working from home (but DD is still going to my mom's), my mom picks her up from my house a little later in the morning and then I pick her up at the end of the day.</p> <p>Since we alternate between 2 and 3 days per week, (and sometimes swap other days as needed), I have a google calendar that I keep updated with the schedule. I shared the calendar with my mom so she can view it whenever she wants. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196809 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 13:50:04 +0000 LAZB 2196809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been back at work for a month, and my mom watches L at my house. We only live 2 miles from my parents, so that makes it easy. I work a four day week, so she only watches L on Monday-Thursday. At first she was only going to watch her until August or September, but now my mom wants to keep watching her until January. It works for me because I totally trust my mom with her, and it definitely saves us a lot of money. I do want to put L in daycare eventually for the socialization. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196803 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 13:44:59 +0000 ValentineMommy 2196803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjyw: bahahahaha I didn't even READ your response! Which is too funny cause my DS1 will be starting pre-K part time in Sept too! lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196797 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 13:41:46 +0000 mrsjyw 2196797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ValentineMommy: twins! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196709 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 13:06:28 +0000 ValentineMommy 2196709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is DS's primary caretaker during the week. Some days she takes him to her house and some she stays at ours, just for variety for him (plus we have more outdoor play stuff). She comes over at 5:30am when I leave for work and waits for DS to wake up, then they go about their day once he's up. She's really the greatest.</p> <p>As for sick/vacation....my parents haven't been on vacation since...I was in high school maybe? Lol, so that's not an issue. If she were ever to get sick (which I hope she doesn't), I would ask to work from home that day (we have a flexible policy) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196650 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 12:43:13 +0000 merriment 2196650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a friend whose MIL watches her daughters. It's great on many levels (financial, security, establishing a great relationship between the two).<br /> But, my friend feels like she can't complain about anything (too many snacks, more TV than she would like, not as much outside time or socialization with other kids the same age, differing ideas about discipline, etc.) because her MIL is doing her a giant favor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196648 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 12:42:28 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2196648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom does one day, my in laws do 3 days and my husband works a 4 day week. So it's a little crazy but works well. My son goes to their house. I try to meet them somewhere that isn't too out of the way for them or too out of the way for me going to work. </p> <p>We take days off or get other family members to cover when they go away. It's not really a job for them so we have to be very flexible with whatever they have going on. I try to provide things to make it easier for them, we bought and installed carseats, always send diapers and formula when he needed it. </p> <p>I think it is a real blessing to have the peace of mind knowing your baby is with someone who loves him or her so much. But of course it's not a professional daycare so in the beginning there were some bumps with not following my schedule, not doing things how I would, lots of unwanted opinions. We've really found our balance now and everyone is happy. I know he will benefit from school eventually but he's 18 months and we're about to move for the second time in his life and I appreciate that his care has remained stable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196638 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 12:38:42 +0000 looch 2196638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom and dad watch my son as his before and aftercare. If they're sick, I take a day off. We coordinate vacations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196620 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 12:31:42 +0000 daniellemybelle 2196620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom currently watches LO two days per week. It's been great for the most part! She actually broke her legs a few months ago and so we had to find another part-time daycare to combine with the part-time daycare we were already doing and that was stressful. But other than that we have not had to deal with a lot of sick or vacation days. I do have a flexible job, so that helps if I need to move things around.</p> <p>At first she did one day at her house and one day at our house. Now, we do both days at her house because it's easier for her, and LO is now more flexible. When she was an infant, I really wanted her to be home and in her at-home routine as much as possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196604 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 12:23:51 +0000 Chillybear 2196604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my MIL watched our LO 1 day a week for the first 9 months i was back at work at our home. LO was in Daycare the other 4 days. On one hand not having to do the day care drop-off/pick up was great I was able to get a head start on my work week. my MIL didnt mind driving in the snow so if weather was bad or LO was sick she'd help out other days. However, I hating having to come home and clean up after MIL and I know all they did all day was sit around and watch TV. As a newborn ok but a 15 month old needs more stimulation. They never went outside, or for walks and MIL wouldnt go up or down steps so i had to set up a diaper station on my dining room table and LO never took naps in her crib.</p> <p>There were quite a few weeks MIL couldnt watch LO most of the time my mom was happy to help out and take off work or i would arrange for the daycare to take her for the extra day </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196567 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 12:09:31 +0000 buffalove 2196567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom and MIL watch our 2 kids. My mom does 3 days at my house (her preference), my MIL does 2 days at her house (her preference). They both take vacations but schedule them far enough in advance that the other one picks up a few extra days and DH and I take vacation days which we don't mind doing. In our minds, that's what our vacation time is for - to spend with the kids anyways!</p> <p>I am lucky to have both sets of parents offering to watch them, but if I only had one, I'd send the kids to daycare or get a nanny for 2 days per week. 5 days a week kind of loses the fun "grandma" time and is more like a job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196555 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 11:59:07 +0000 Kbee 2196555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is 4 months old and just started daycare yesterday, but for the past 8 weeks he was either taken care of by my husband, mom, or MIL in our home. </p> <p>Since today is only his 2nd day at daycare you can take this with a grain of salt, BUT I will say that I can already tell that having him somewhere outside of our house is going to be a sanity-saver for me. When LO was at the house, it was hard to do things in the morning (workout, get ready, prep lunch, etc) without someone asking me questions, my mom or MIL chatting away just to catch up with me (they live out of town), and me worrying about what was going on with LO or feeling like I needed to help. It was constant anxiety before I left for work, even when someone else was taking care of him. We're now working out a system where DH will drop him off at daycare and I'll pick him up, and this makes my mornings much easier and anxiety-free.</p> <p>Of course it may not be that way for everyone, but just something to think about if you're considering your house vs. theirs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196549 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 11:56:22 +0000 dolphin 2196549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We drop DD off at my parent's house and it's great! If they are unable to watch her then DH or I will take her. DH works from home and it's not a problem for me to take days off when needed so it all works out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196533 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 11:54:01 +0000 Anagram 2196533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have personal experience, but I have two close friends whose MILs watch their kiddos full time--both of their MILs watch the kids in the MILs house.</p> <p>I think if they are working unpaid, it's the least you can do to make it easier on the family member watching the kiddo--so they can still do their own chores/cooking around the house while babysitting. Also, then your house stays clean during the day!</p> <p>They both have had issues with the MILs feeding their kids lots of crap, even though they pack their kids' foods. But I guess with free childcare, there are going to be some negatives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196531 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 11:52:58 +0000 Mamasig 2196531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pirouette: you are totally right! It has been such a blessing having my mom watch my boys! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196527 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 11:51:52 +0000 Mamasig 2196527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom watched DS1 and now DS2. She hasn't gone on vacation so we haven't had to deal with that. If she is sick, I take off of work. That's only happened a few times in almost 3 years. </p> <p>She comes to my house. I do pay her because she gave up her job to do this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196524 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 11:51:32 +0000 Pirouette 2196524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>honestly, they have taken fewer days off than a nanny would! but whenever anything comes up, one of us works from home. it hasn't been a big deal at all. usually, they watch my LO at my house, but they will sometimes take her to their place too, just depends on the day. the day always starts at our place though - we don't drop LO off anywhere.</p> <p>I just want to say that having family watch LO has been phenomenal for her, us and them. It's so much easier going to work everyday knowing i don't need to worry, and LO is in excellent hands. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196521 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 11:50:20 +0000 runnerd 2196521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My ILs provided daycare before we moved. They don't travel so that wasn't an issue lol. We didn't want my MIL to get burned out so we opted to use an in-home daycare for 1-2 days a week, and this also gave us the flexibility to switch days around when MIL had an appointment or something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196513 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 11:46:49 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2196513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH works full time and I work part time, my 3yo goes to daycare and my 1.5yo is with my MIL. Its been great, but my ILs are going on vacation for a few weeks in July and I'm screwed! </p> <p>I managed to get him a spot at K's daycare starting a week after they leave but I know it will be a rough transition, especially for those weeks when DH and I have to do drop offs (normally we go in earlier and my FIL drops him off). Oh well, what can you do?</p> <p>As D approaches 2 I think daycare is best for him, and hopefully that means MIL will have more time to watch them when we're not both working so maybe we could go on a date or something :)</p> <p>Sidenote, my parents are local but both are 70 and don't know how to deal with D's feeding tube, so I don't trust them to watch them as backup care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196358 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 10:58:07 +0000 mrsjyw 2196358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is our primary caretaker. We haven't had too many times where she's been out of town, but the few times she has, we've been able to coordinate her dates with our family vacation dates and/or I have a flex job that allows me to work from home, so I do that with ILs coming over to help, etc.</p> <p>On a regular basis, he's usually at their house a couple days a week and at ours a couple days. </p> <p>It hasn't been too much of an issue and DS is 2.5. DS2 is due next month and we'll be starting part-time prek for DS1 in September! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsils-are-your-primary-daily-childcare-providers#post-2196345 Tue, 02 Jun 2015 10:54:27 +0000 Imabee 2196345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you both work full time and your parents or ILs watch your LO during the day, how do you coordinate with them? What do you do if they go on vacation or are sick? Do they watch LO at your house or theirs?</p> <p>My ILs have offered to watch our LO (due in November), at least for the first year or so. I'm tempted to take them up on this offer since I know day care is expensive, but I'm wondering about the logistics and about what sort of contingency plan we might need to have in place if they're not available. Any insight from your own experience is appreciated! </p>