https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 15:54:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2586886 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 11:34:52 +0000 Mrs D 2586886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mother asked us...did we want everything (in which case she would box it up) that was left, we had all moved out when she sold our childhood home. If we did not want it all she left it all in one spot - provided packing supplies and offered to donate what we didnt want. She made it very easy on us. She had some items she wanted to keep even if we decided not to save them - so she was involved even if we did the packing.</p> <p>DH's mother has given her kids none of their stuff. She has hoarding tendencies and I dread the day we have to pack their house. That said - if she is around at that point she will do it all her self and not allow anyone to help (classic hoarder - very attached to her things and needs to be in control at all times). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2586877 Fri, 15 Jul 2016 11:14:50 +0000 nana87 2586877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You guys... Dh hasn't even been home for 24 hours and mil has already demanded he come back again next week.... And he's going. I'm going to explode!</p> <p>Eta nvm, he actually stood up to her and isn't going. Phew! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2586047 Thu, 14 Jul 2016 05:51:04 +0000 babybean404 2586047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted yes. We did everything, but we also bought the house ((substantial gift of equity). Although even if that were not the case we would've had to do it anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585799 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 17:11:00 +0000 FancyGem 2585799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband helped/is helping his parents with their remodel, but they are both in poor health. We would've helped if they were able to do more for themselves, but I don't think that he would do as much as he has been doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585792 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 16:40:44 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2585792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband helped MIL move from the home she raised her kids in to her first new place after her divorce. He provided the muscle for moving boxes and the heavy lifting, but she had everything already packed. MIL could not afford movers, so it was a DIY effort. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585762 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 16:04:10 +0000 daniellemybelle 2585762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were in the middle of our own move across country so we weren't able to be much help. I cleaned out some old stuff of mine per my mom's request and that was about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585709 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 15:10:42 +0000 sapphire 2585709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They showed up at my house with a carload of my childhood stuff. That's been the extent of my involvement. No involvement with ILs move. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585678 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 14:31:30 +0000 DillonLion 2585678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a freshman in college and my parents did not really involve me in the process. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585660 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 14:13:28 +0000 Cherrybee 2585660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mum sold my childhood home a couple of years back. I helped her with everything - including identifying/viewing potential new places, getting the old house market ready and packing up her possessions - and was there on move day to ferry her about and help her unpack. I had moved out 15yrs earlier and so there was nothing of mine to sort through, but my mum is pretty helpless really. I had a young baby at the time and it was tough, but she did need the help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585584 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 13:08:06 +0000 nana87 2585584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: that's the way my parents were too, although they still stored my stuff (I've lived in an apt ever since college)--all of my stuff was sorted and boxed when I left for college because my parents were on a sabbatical and rented out our house for a year. So, when they sold the house, they didn't need me to do anything, because I was already all packed. And I lived out of town, so they really didn't need me to help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585575 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 13:01:49 +0000 MaryM 2585575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Long before she downsized, my parents had made sure we had all our own stuff out of the house. Pretty much as soon as we had homes of our own, they'd start presenting us with boxes/bags anytime we visited. </p> <p>When my mom downsized, she did a lot of the work herself. I did help quite a bit partly because I was the only child without kids, and partly because I'm really good at helping her part with things she doesn't need to keep (asking questions like "Did you even know you had this? When was the last time you used it?")</p> <p>And I enjoy packing, so it was fun for me. </p> <p>DH hasn't dealt with parents downsizing, but he did deal with his father passing away. He and his sister did most of the work (there's four children). But he and his sister always do most of the work in their family, so it was expected/accepted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585573 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 13:01:05 +0000 Mrsbells 2585573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nana87: like you said it all depends on the situation such as how old your MIL is and her situation. I would be fine with going over with DH and helping my MIL with moving because I would want to do the same for my parents </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585570 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 13:00:08 +0000 avivoca 2585570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just helped my parents move. Basically, my mom is moving boxes they've been moving since childhood and my dad is doing tons of work, plus my sister was helping out too. I did as much as I could at 27 weeks pregnant.</p> <p>I don't know what my ILs would be like. They've never moved and I doubt they will. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585553 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 12:48:19 +0000 alphagam84 2585553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We haven't had this happen yet but my IL's act super helpless and I'm sure they'll expect both of their sons to come do most of the packing/moving which will drive me and my SIL crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585525 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 12:33:33 +0000 nana87 2585525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So here's the full situation...And a long vent...</p> <p>Dh and I live out of town (~4 hr drive) from mil. I'm pregnant and we have a toddler. </p> <p>Mil is moving. Fil passed away last winter. So it's emotionally fraught in a lot of ways, although they had been looking to move for over a year before he passed away anyway, they just didn't find a condo before. </p> <p>Mil has neck problems and can't lift heavy objects, but is hiring movers to pack and actually move things. Otherwise, she is physically capable (does pilates regularly, for example). </p> <p>Sil went on a month-long vacation (she works in a school so has the summer off). She hasn't helped AT ALL and is really upset about her mom moving, upset that things are being thrown away, wants to claim everything in the house for herself and yet hasn't lifted a finger...she's a peach, to say the least...We're all completely furious at her.</p> <p>Dh has spent what's imo a ridiculous amount of time helping. Of course he needed to go to clean out his own room, help go through his father's things, etc, and I completely supported his helping with that, but it's getting out of hand. His mom basically "needs" him to go through every single room, including things that are not his (ie their at-home office), just to help sort into various piles (junk/new apt/storage). She basically isn't doing anything on her own, she's making him hold her hand through it all...And I'm getting really fed up solo-parenting while I'm pregnant....Dh has always been the "good" child who his mom leans on and she has no respect for the fact that he has his own life, and he isn't good at setting boundaries. I'm the more reasonable one so it's easier to let me down than stand up to her. Again, I completely supported him going (and I've been pushing him for years to clean out his childhood room....), it's just getting out of control now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585497 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 12:12:57 +0000 travelgirl1 2585497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If my inlaws did this now, we would help because of their age. My parents could do it themselves. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585493 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 12:11:14 +0000 nana87 2585493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>thanks everyone, this helps put things in perspective for me! </p> <p>@tofuwad: very good point about income! makes a huuuge difference </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585481 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 12:01:02 +0000 psw27 2585481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents have moved a million times (okay, 20+ in 38 years of marriage) so they don't need any help! They are complete pros at it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585469 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 11:54:55 +0000 looch 2585469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a ton of stuff in my parents home, it's kind of like my external storage unit, so when the time comes, I'll need to at least go through some stuff and make decisions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585464 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 11:53:58 +0000 erinbaderin 2585464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents have moved twice in the last 8 years and both times we've done nothing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585445 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 11:39:42 +0000 catlady 2585445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think DH helped his parents a bit when they divorced (they sold their shared home and both bought new homes). But I think he really only moved some of his own stuff.</p> <p>Since then, FIL moved once more and MIL moved 2 more times, and I don't think we've ever helped, although we've offered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585443 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 11:38:01 +0000 youboots 2585443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My in laws downsized to 1/4-1/3 sq foot home. They did everything themselves. We never offered, they never asked. It did not occur to me this would be something we would do unless they were elderly or otherwise not physically able. They gave a lot away to the other kids- but we were already set. It was not the home DH grew up in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585428 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 11:25:22 +0000 snowjewelz 2585428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The first time we moved, we were dating and DH helped me with my stuff and he was there on the day to help. </p> <p>The 2nd time, I was already married and out of the house, my parents did it on their own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585424 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 11:21:51 +0000 tofuwad 2585424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me this is all about income. My parents are pretty broke (very little room for emergencies) so we have helped them move and done everything (short of paying for a uhaul - my father will pay for things like food and boxes). </p> <p>DH's parents are way better off (not wealthy just solidly middle class), and we have helped move and pack up (only during remodels usually) and basically only been there as muscle. </p> <p>But I'm also sort of known as "the organizer" in my family (and I moved like 10 times in the last 15 years so I'm good at it) so people always approach me for ideas in organizing, moving, etc.</p> <p>ETA: my father also is in terrible health and my MIL is in fantastic shape (seriously she's like my fitness inspiration). And I am not shy about ordering my father around. I typically give him tasks that he can handle (like sorting through stuff to toss or donate), so it's not like he's a demanding guy. He just needs a lot more help, both physically and financially (so he couldn't necessarily afford movers). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585415 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 11:11:22 +0000 PawPrints 2585415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I went through my own stuff to sort it and take away things I wanted to keep, with the understanding that almost everything I didn't take was going to get tossed. </p> <p>DH did a tiny bit of that in his parents' house, but for the most part his mom is doing 99% of the work - and also I think is willing to keep/haul some of his childhood stuff.</p> <p>Neither DH nor I did anything to help with our parents' moves outside of our own childhood belongings. But we live across the country. No idea if we might have helped out a little bit if we were closer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585413 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 11:10:48 +0000 Adira 2585413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>MIL has moved a few times and she pretty much did it all on her own. She will occasionally give us a box of Hubs' stuff, but we didn't go help pack anything. Hubs had taken most of his stuff when he moved out anyway, so there's not a ton of his stuff left, except maybe childhood stuff, and she decided on her own whether to keep them or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585410 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 11:09:10 +0000 PurplePumps 2585410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents have been in the same house for over 30 years, but my inlaws recently moved out of their family home. DH did not help with the move since we live a flight away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585403 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 11:02:21 +0000 Truth Bombs 2585403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I answered somewhat. But your description isn't completely accurate for me. My brother and I handle all of our own stuff, and helped my parents with some of their stuff. I know when my grandmother moved out of the family home my mom and her sisters all helped with that process as well. Seems pretty typical for family to help out with a need like this. </p> <p>Now, if my parents were physically capable but sat back and expected me to do EVERYTHING with no help from them, that would be a different story. But we just all chipped in and helped get the big job done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-parentsin-laws-moved-out-of-their-family-home#post-2585400 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 10:59:10 +0000 nana87 2585400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>...did you or your partner help them with the move? Going through everything, organizing, throwing things away, storing things, packing, actual moving, etc?</p> <p>Going through some issues around this now, and I'm curious about how others have been/haven't been involved!</p> <p>Obviously these answers are very dependent on lots of different circumstances--parents' health issues, distance, involvement of siblings, etc etc--but I'm just curious about other people's experiences!</p> <p>ETA: I enabled multiple voting for multiple sets of parents! So like, with my parents, I boxed up my own things and my parents did the rest, but dh is currently doing basically everything for mil, and I think we need more boundaries with her...hence this post... </p>