https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 15:17:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2254558 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 14:49:03 +0000 Charm54 2254558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH WAH while I was on a one year mat leave. He would come up mid morning for a break and to say hi, back up for lunch, and then at the end of the day. I would make lunch and we would eat together. He worked in a home office in the basement. I loved that if I needed an extra set of hands i just had to call down. He's WOH now and I will miss our old routine this upcoming mat leave! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2254549 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 14:42:28 +0000 sungirl 2254549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is kind of unrelated but I WAH w/o LO's there 1 day a week and sometimes my DH will WAH the same day. It amazes me how we handle WAH. In between calls or on my lunch break I do laundry, change sheets on LO's and our beds and do random chores...he catches up on shows or plays games on his phone. I guess it's his time, but it definitely bugs me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2254542 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 14:33:53 +0000 ms.line 2254542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: I totally agree with @rosegold. If you're dealing with a permanent WAH/SAH situation, I think there's more of a need to establish routines and expectations like PPs have described. But having a newborn in the house and a mama just on maternity leave is a special situation, and I would expect my DH to be a bit more accommodating. (TBH, I think it's pretty damn amazing you're making your husband lunch with a 2 month old in tow!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2254496 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 13:52:36 +0000 rosegold 2254496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: i feel like as a regular thing yeah you have those boundaries but with a newborn and momma being on mat. leave for a little while it's like a special situation and dad should be more in tune with what she and baby needs during his down time. some dudes just need a good nudge, huh? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2254490 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 13:46:58 +0000 Corduroy 2254490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rosegold: I did say something, rather I yelled something, but there was more to the situation than I wrote in the post. For the post I was curious about typical boundaries and such. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2254484 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 13:43:23 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2254484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nana87: don't get me wrong, DH helps with chores like dishes and laundry and cleaning. I just don't expect it when he has a short break in his workday. He helps with things after the workday is done and on weekends, just like if he was working outside of the house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2254116 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 10:00:54 +0000 gingerbebe 2254116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH works from home 2-3 days a week during the school year and at home all summer (he runs a law practice and teaches business law at a college). I am on a yearlong mat leave. DH and I interact a lot and he helps a lot. Our typical day at home is like this:</p> <p>We all wake up together, DH gets DS and changes his diaper while I heat up DS' bottle and breakfast, I feed him while DH eats breakfast, and we both sip coffee DH set up before bed, so we are at the table together. DH then takes DS for a stroller walk and swinging at the park and loops home by 930am while I eat my breakfast and straighten up. DH showers and starts work at 10am and I put DS down for his morning nap. Before DS gets up I might nap too or zone out and then prep our lunches. DS is up an noon, DH gets DS again and repeat. We sit together while DH and DS eat and then DH plays with DS a little while I wolf down lunch. DH is back at work at 1pm and I play with DS or run errands until his afternoon nap. I usually straighten up some more, go run some more errands, and prep dinner during this nap. It's nice to be able to leave for a second knowing DH can grab the baby if something happens. DS is up at 430pm, DH gets him and I feed him dinner while DH goes back to work. DS has independent play time on the floor while I finish dinner and then we all sit down at the table around 530 or 6pm for dinner and DS eats puffs. DH does bath time and PJs and then I play with him some more while DH goes back to work and then I give him his last bottle and put him in his sleep sack at 730. DH will then put DS down for the night and then I relax while DH goes back to work! Around 9 or 10pm he will stop and then we both clean the kitchen and run/fold laundry before bed. </p> <p> We have DH's schedule on Google Calendar and he typically has 2 days a week set aside for client calls from about 10am-3pm. So those days I try to keep DS quiet or out of the house. However those are also days when DH gets extra burned out because he's been yapping at clients all day so he usually wants an afternoon break. Those days we may go grocery shopping together or take DS to the splash pad together. On less structured days we might go to lunch together as a family and/or go to a baby gym for a little bit. We try to take our son out to lunch once or twice a week so he learns how to behave in a restaurant. During the day in general DH always says hi to DS and I can hand the baby to DH while I unload the car or wash my hands or something. DH works with his door closed and ear plugs on and I can hear if he's on a call so we don't bug each other.</p> <p>Granted we are very lucky that DH runs his own business so he can set his hours but it balances out on his teaching days where DH may just be able to see DS in the morning on his way out the door. With a 90 minute commute each way those teaching days are long and DH is also getting his MBA so he's gone all day every other Saturday while I solo parent. So he works very hard to be present when he's home. I'm very, very grateful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2254109 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 09:57:40 +0000 rosegold 2254109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: that would bug me too!! i would say something about it but maybe that's just me ... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2254086 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 09:38:40 +0000 nana87 2254086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>wow, I think I expect a lot more of dh than other people do! dh wah on a set schedule (8-5, with a lunch/gym break) and I wah part time and sah the other part of the time (I'm a grad student writing a dissertation, so right now my time is totally my own to set). he makes both of us lunch most days, except on days lo is home, we're usually out and about so grab lunch on the go. I do most of the organizing chores (ie getting lo dressed, putting things away, tidying up, etc) but he does more than half the dishes and most of the laundry (our laundry room isn't in our apt so I can't do it when I'm w lo) too. and, sometimes he helps with lo if my hands are full or she's refusing to nap (often, she'll fight nap with me but then fall asleep in less than 5 mins once dh steps in). we don't interact too much, but when we do we always try to check whether the other person is really busy that moment. like, I don't feel bad at ALL about interrupting his playing candy crush or reading baseball stats ;) he has a lot of conference calls though so I never interrupt those. he's actually worse about interrupting me--his desk in our bedroom so he can close the door, but mine is next to the kitchen in our open concept living room and he "forgets" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253907 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 08:03:02 +0000 lamariniere 2253907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I WAH and DH occasionally WAH. We mostly avoid one another during working hours but we do eat lunch together and have coffee breaks together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253902 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 08:00:52 +0000 namaste 2253902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH &amp; I both WAH. I try to work when LO is napping but DH works like a normal full time job so we spend lots of time in separate spaces since he has so many Skype calls. His co-workers don't mind LO in the background every now and again. He watches her when I have meetings out of the house which is a few days a week. We both eat lunch together mostly every day though. I sort of like having time to myself sometimes for lunch to unwind so I'm sure your DH is thinking the same. Maybe you guys set certain days for eating together? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253874 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 07:35:51 +0000 threeplusme 2253874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I SAS and my husband WAH about two days a week. I like and hate it. I like that I can jump in the shower and he can keep an eye on the kids but I hate that he'll play on his phone or watch TV while he works. We have a very tiny house so having him home all day just adds to the feeling of being cramped. I'm hoping come September when my twins head off to kindergarten it won't be so bad since it will just be my daughter and I home with him. He was able to occasionally drop off or pick up the kids from preschool and days he works from home means he can eat dinner with us which doesn't always happen when he goes in to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253855 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 07:03:59 +0000 illumina 2253855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I SAH and DH WAH 1-2 days a week. It used to be every day, but now he has office space he tends to go there most days. Sometimes we eat lunch together but most of the time he does his own thing. I just try and pretend like he's not there. When I can, I try and keep LO quiet if it's a really important call he has to make, but otherwise I don't and I know DH can always go up to the attic room if it's too noisy. I used to like DH working from home when LO was a baby, because he could hold her from time to time or help out occasionally, but now I actually encourage him to go to the office every day because it's easier for us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253787 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 01:41:36 +0000 Bubbles 2253787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH works from home some of the time, it varies from week to week. I don't expect him to do any chores, but I'd be annoyed if he was playing video games. He usually likes to spend any spare time with LO, as when he has a busy week out of the house he barely sees him. I wouldn't mind if we ate lunch separately, I'm pregnant and have been eating lunch ridiculously early. It generally works fine for us, but can be tricky if LO is being particularly loud when DH is on the phone, we only have a tiny space so sometimes I have to take him outside! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253768 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 00:10:09 +0000 sarac 2253768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband works from home four or five days a week. His office is the other side of our bedroom upstairs, so we don't have to be quiet. He's on the phone much of the day, so he really needs the quiet. It wouldn't work if we had to tiptoe around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253761 Mon, 03 Aug 2015 23:52:46 +0000 jhd 2253761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I SAH and DH WAH full time. We never eat together. It's not healthy but he has always eaten lunch at his desk while working. His office space is downstairs and he will take a quick break and see LO for a few minutes during the day if he can. We sometimes go down to visit him, see if he needs a coffee refill, etc. I try to keep LO &amp; our dog quiet if he has a very important call but otherwise we just do our own thing &amp; don't worry. DH doesn't do chores during work hours but often picks up toys or other chores right after work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253667 Mon, 03 Aug 2015 20:49:30 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2253667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a SAHM now and DH occasionally WAH for his job. We interact (eat lunch together, I bring DD in for kisses, etc). But I don't really expect him to do chores and such during the workday though even if he has a break. Because if he was at an office, he wouldn't have to spend his breaks doing chores. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253622 Mon, 03 Aug 2015 20:07:05 +0000 youboots 2253622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>M WAH when he's not on overnight trips or seeing local customers. Sometimes it's a whole week, something's just a day a week. He does not have set hours. Sometimes I make us both breakfast or lunch. He will usually take the babe for 20 minutes while I shower and pump. If he has a break in his work or just needs to step away he will come visit or help with chores. I try to keep his coffee cup full and bring in T every couple hours for a snuggle. He's usually working 6-6. I'm fine with it. He helps plenty around the house. I just keep the baby upstairs/quiet if he is on the phone. I run errands or have plans daily so he's home without us there a fair amount too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253615 Mon, 03 Aug 2015 19:55:41 +0000 Rockies11 2253615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We actually interact a lot! I do all of the childcare and housework though. But I bring the kids in for kisses all the time, and we eat lunch together and chat throughout the day. The major bummer is that he doesn't have set hours, so he can always work at times that he doesn't want to help me out, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253576 Mon, 03 Aug 2015 19:17:08 +0000 ms.line 2253576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH and I both WAH part of the week currently, and he'll be WAH while I'm on leave. We mostly stay away from each other during the day, but we almost always eat lunch together. DH also always does laundry during the day while he's home. I would definitely be annoyed if he ate lunch I prepared without me (unless he was super busy), or if he started playing video games during the day after our LO is here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253571 Mon, 03 Aug 2015 19:13:48 +0000 mrbee 2253571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: I started working outside of the apartment earlier this year, in various cafes around town. It helped give some variety to my day, and also helped me get some exercise on the walks there and back!</p> <p>Before that, I worked from home every day and constantly felt obligated to do the dishes and clean on my breaks. After I started working outside of the house, I started waking up earlier in the morning to do chores since I knew I'd be out of the house all day.</p> <p>Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-your-partner-wah-and-you-sah#post-2253567 Mon, 03 Aug 2015 19:10:18 +0000 Corduroy 2253567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you stay at home and your partner WAH, how do you interact and/or share the space?</p> <p>I'm home on maternity leave with LO2. DH WAH one or two days a week. I try to treat it like he isn't here except he has a lot of conference calls so I try to keep the baby quiet. </p> <p>This afternoon I made lunch and we ate separately. After he ate he played video games for the rest of his lunch hour. LO was napping so I was cleaning. I was a little irked he was playing video games. But if he was at the office he would theoretically do whatever during lunch. Just wondering how other couples handle the shared space. </p>