https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 06 Jun 2026 08:07:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1962441 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 23:56:45 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1962441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are one and done and I've always worried more about loneliness than entitlement. My husband is more of a spoiler than I am (grew up mostly as an only child and got very little), but I think what our son gets would be very similar to what two children would get from us.</p> <p>I just make sure to have him wiyh his cousin often so he still gets to have some brotherly squabbles. When he's older I'm very concerned with making sure he has adequate kid-time with friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1962436 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 23:43:55 +0000 twoofeverything 1962436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Totally get that. Really good point. I haven't had my parents while I've raised my kids, and while it's sad, it's also probably a good thing. I think I would have lost my mind trying to find my own identity as a Mom! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1962434 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 23:42:00 +0000 twoofeverything 1962434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1962418 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 23:15:37 +0000 Mrs. Oyster 1962418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Only child here, and I'll be the first to say that I grew up very spoiled and overindulged. My mom is a single mom who grew up with very little, so she felt the way to fix this was to give me everything. It definitely hindered and crippled me for a long time (probably into my college years), but I feel that at some point I had to recognize it and work to minimize its impact on me.<br /> I don't feel this is the way for many only children, just my experience. Unfortunately, I also often feel smothered and overly needed by my mom, because it is just us. It's certainly not how I'd wish things to be, but I know she did her best.<br /> All that being said. ..my husband was very scared of us having only one child, with seeing how I was raised. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961577 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 13:30:40 +0000 MenagerieMama 1961577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Haha or just personality! I'm not an only child, met my DH when I was 21 and had always lived with roommates, and I still like doing things my way :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961561 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 13:24:54 +0000 Banana330 1961561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyTsMom: I'm an only child. I was never spoiled but I am very independant. That might be a product of my parents being busy but I think being an only child helped that. I was also in a ton of activities when I was younger, so I think that's an advantage of it. Our family also did a lot of volunteer work when I was a kid, so I was acutely aware many people didn't have it as good as I did. When I was a kid I did want a sibling, but always made friends on holidays and had lots of sleep overs. Its only now as our parents are getting older that I really wish I had someone to share their care with. </p> <p>It definitely has it's pros and cons. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961490 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:56:23 +0000 Cherrybee 1961490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: That's also true! I was 28 when I met my DH and I was used to doing things my way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961484 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:54:28 +0000 Cherrybee 1961484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyTsMom: I want at least another one, definitely. But you don't have to have more children to ensure your LO isn't lonely, just make sure to let your LO have friends over often! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961413 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:19:14 +0000 sweetooth 1961413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is an only child and you would never know it. I totally think it's how you were raised. And then who you become when you are an adult. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961403 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:16:29 +0000 yoursilverlining 1961403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I think some of the adjusting to marriage might come from marrying later, rather than being an only. Once you've been out on your own for a bit and developed your own routines and "right" ways of doing things, it isn't always easy to compromise. Been there, and not an only child. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961398 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:13:44 +0000 ladybee 1961398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Only child here! I am not entitled or self-centered. I feel like I'm actually the opposite. However, my father made a point in telling me quite often that I am not the center of the universe and that the best thing i could do was look after others/be considerate of others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961388 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:12:01 +0000 BabyTsMom 1961388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Interesting perspectives! I'm pretty sure I won't need to be the center of my LO's universe. lol. An only child friend of mine (who is not spoiled or entitled) also said adjusting to marriage has been tough! So based on your own experience, do you want more than one? (I do feel bad for my LO being lonely. But I don't think I can handle another one! :( )</p> <p>@My Only Sunshine: @alohaorchid: THanks for the book recs! I'm definitely going to check those out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961366 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:02:13 +0000 Cherrybee 1961366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alohaorchid: Perhaps it's just human nature then? I mean, surely nobody wants to be told they're not allowed to put their Christmas tree up whenever they want to??! Siblings or not, marrying the Grinch is always gonna be tough!! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961351 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:54:37 +0000 alohaorchid 1961351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I'm the oldest of four and I have definitely (and still do) struggled with compromise. Some of that for me does come from being part of a big family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961347 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:53:10 +0000 looch 1961347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nah, not worried about this at all. We are hardworking people and my son isn't going to get everything handed to him on a silver platter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961346 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:52:52 +0000 alohaorchid 1961346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not an only child, nor do I have children. However, when we were planning on having a baby we knew we would be one and done. I was getting a lot of backlash from family/friends/coworkers in regards to this and so I read two really great books. One called "One and Only" by Lauren Sandler and "Parenting An Only Child" by Susan Newman. I would highly recommend both of them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961344 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:52:05 +0000 My Only Sunshine 1961344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm an only child married to an only child. I like to think neither of us is a spoiled brat :happy: </p> <p>I liked the book "One and Only" by Lauren Sandler if you want to read some interesting thoughts and research about only children. The basic takeaway is that they're no more or less likely to be jerks than people with siblings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961343 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:51:45 +0000 Cherrybee 1961343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a really good question. I was an only child but my parents had their own shit going on and I wasn't the centre of anyone's universe! My only child experience was just loneliness to be honest. I wished I had siblings to play with. </p> <p>My adult only child experience, however, is very different. Now I AM the centre of my mum's universe and I don't want to be. She *needs* me so much and it's hard. I wish I had siblings to share the burden with. </p> <p>Lastly, I have found adapting to marriage really, really challenging. I struggle a lot with compromise. I'm just used to doing things my own way, in my own time..... and I put a lot of that down to being an only child. </p> <p>I have no doubt that there are ways of navigating this stuff and raising a happy, well adjusted only. It bodes very well for your LO that you are asking the question! I'm pretty sure you've got this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961342 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:51:23 +0000 yoursilverlining 1961342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is an only and is not entitled (his parents would definitely not have allowed that! Lol oh man, his mom would never have raised an entitled brat!) and we are 99% sure we are one and done.</p> <p>I do worry about LO being spoiled because she is the only grandchild and because we are more in a financial position to “spoil” than some other families are (and some are more in a position to spoil more than we are too). Instead of trying to curtail what others buy for her, or what we do with her (traveling, etc.) and worrying about the material stuff and experiences, I really focus on the importance of being a good community member and giving back and being thankful for what we have. She is 2.5 and we volunteer/give regularly together already, and she will most definitely be expected to continue to give and be humble and involved in her community going forward. </p> <p>I make a conscious effort to always emotionally indulge LO because I personally feel that’s the right way to raise children. That doesn’t mean always giving her what she wants though. </p> <p>LO will also be expected to always work hard (both at school and when she’s old enough to get a job). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961331 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:43:50 +0000 Ash 1961331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm an only child and don't feel entitled at all. It's all in how you are raised. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-an-only-child-or-a-parent-of-one-and-not-planning-on-more-come-in#post-1961327 Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:41:10 +0000 BabyTsMom 1961327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I'm 100% sure that we are one and done. Problem is, I have known a few only children (now adults) who are pretty self-centered and entitled. I really don't think it's their fault, though. I think they're just a product of how they were raised, naturally the focus of their parents all the time, given (al)most everything they want/need, etc. (I realize this is a generalization, and that people who have siblings can also turn out this way....)</p> <p>Parents of one, do you make a conscious effort to not indulge your child, emotionally or materially? I'm really sensitive about this for some reason. I don't want my kid to turn into a spoiled brat!</p> <p>Only children, do you think your parents did a good job of making sure you didn't think you were the center of everyone's universe? :) </p>