https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 18:55:05 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2721427 Fri, 07 Apr 2017 09:31:29 +0000 littlebug 2721427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am agnostic and Hubs was a Catholic in a former life and I think still kind of struggling with his beliefs. However, the kids go to a Christian daycare where they read bible stories daily and have chapel once a week. So D (4yo) definitely is aware of Jesus and God, but I don't think really fully grasps the concept yet. We have had a few issues with the chapel lessons recently, and I have addressed that with the director and they are taking steps within the facility to correct it. It's another story for another post, but they're addressing it (plus the teachers are kind of revolting from within and trying to take over chapel!), so I'm giving it a chance.</p> <p>Hubs and I are searching for a church home, and I am heavily leaning towards Unitarian Universalist, but he is not sold. He grew up Catholic with all the rituals and rigamarole that goes with that, and so the laid-back approach to UU services is a little too casual for him. He's looking for something a bit more structured. We are trying one more church locally to see if it fits both of our visions, but if not then I think I will start attending UU and I will probably bring the kids with me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2721380 Fri, 07 Apr 2017 08:42:15 +0000 looch 2721380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: what about looking into a Unitarian religious ed program? My understanding is that they teach about all faiths, as well as being a good person and being kind to one another. It might provide you with a framework.</p> <p>And I also wanted to mention that I think it's interesting to think about how non religious parents deal with children that are interested in religion. I think about how I would react if my son told me he wanted to enter the priesthood, for example. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2721372 Fri, 07 Apr 2017 08:32:16 +0000 kiddosc 2721372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I am too, but I think my mother and MIL would drop dead if he repeated that. </p> <p>@JessyMess: I keep trying to tell him she isn't living with someone else, that she died and we don't know what happens after you die... but he still keeps asking about Kevin :silly: </p> <p>@lamariniere: I think that's the part that I'm missing, the "don't tell people they're wrong" part. We've had a lot of the "some people believe" type of conversations, but I think it gets confusing for him when other people that we're around talk about it in a more concrete manner. </p> <p>@looch: Someone else just posted about their 4 year old being really interested in death and God and we are definitely in a similar stage. He has started asking a lot of questions about death, and I've explained the physical aspect of it, but since other people have told him about heaven he asks about that too. I try to answer simply, but we've fallen into a rabbit hole of questions at times that I'm not prepared to answer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2721370 Fri, 07 Apr 2017 08:30:15 +0000 yoursilverlining 2721370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are not religious, but I love the art and architecture of churches and cathedrals so we visit them often while traveling. As such, we’ve had to explain something about Christian religion to LO. I have told her that Jesus was a man who helped people who need help (i.e., the poor), as we do. She knows that Jesus “lives in church” and that it is a place that is very important to many people, and a place we are respectful of/in, even though it’s not important to us in the same way it’s important to other people. </p> <p>I’ve told her about God, and how there are different Gods (just like there are different “churches” – mosques and synagogues) and like most everyone else on this thread, the “some people believe but we don’t” type lines. When LO has asked why we don’t believe, I tell her there are many different stories with sets of rules about the world and that’s not a story we believe in (this so far seems to work well conceptually for LO, the ideas of stories). When she’s asked what we believe in (or what stories we believe in), I tell her about the golden rule, and basically about being a good person for the sake of being a good person and doing the right thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2721345 Fri, 07 Apr 2017 08:04:10 +0000 looch 2721345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't talk about it yet. My son knows church is a place that you visit, but he doesn't understand what it is people do there. My mom brings him when she has service days at church, things like putting the hymnals in the pews.</p> <p>He's not asked about God yet, but we have talked about death and what happens to your body in a physical way. He's been okay with that explanation so far. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2721284 Fri, 07 Apr 2017 02:14:21 +0000 lamariniere 2721284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My older LO (now 6), started asking questions about death around 3, which led to talking about religion. Neither my DH nor I are religious (although, I was in a faith based preschool and early elementary, so I have lasting notions of Christianity) and neither are our families. We live in a fairly catholic country though, so holidays like Christmas and Easter are big here, but there are also noticeable Muslim and Orthodox Jewish populations. I've explained to my son that whole "some people think/believe" line. When he asks what we believe, I tell him we believe in science, that science gives us the most concrete, provable explanation of our world, creation, and the universe. He is very interested in space and science, so he can relate to that answer. I also tell him that I do not know what happens after we die, that no one can actually know, but "some people believe...". We've had a couple of fairly in-depth discussions about various religions and what they believe. I try to keep it factual, simple and don't interject my opinion. I tell him it's ok for people to believe whatever they want and that it's not ok for him to tell them they are wrong, because they probably think we are wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2721126 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 19:56:17 +0000 JessyMess 2721126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're both atheist, but our families are Christian. When he asks if God is real, I tell him that some people believe in god, and some don't. Also there are different gods that different people believe in. I don't tell him what I believe unless he asks, which he does. I want him to come to his own conclusions in his own time, and let him believe what he chooses even if it disagrees with my beliefs.<br /> I feel a bit more strongly about allowing him to believe in heaven right now. I tell him being dead is just like before you were born. I also do tell him that some people believe in heaven, but I don't. If he asks why when he's older, I'll tell him. </p> <p>@kiddosc: lmao at going to live with Kevin when you die </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2721105 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 19:28:41 +0000 lawbee11 2721105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't talk about it at all! I guess we will eventually if/when she asks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2721074 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 19:07:19 +0000 MsMini 2721074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have told our kids that some people believe in stories and ideas from a book called the bible to make them feel better about life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2721068 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 19:03:51 +0000 Corduroy 2721068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We haven't had the conversation yet but I'm sure it's coming soon since LO is 4 and we're going to a baptism this summer. </p> <p>DH has said many religious things are simply "not real" but that seems weird to me because we don't tell her Santa isn't real. I think he'll keep his approach and I'll be more "some people believe ...; Mommy and Daddy don't believe that way." IDK </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2721056 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 18:45:36 +0000 ShootingStar 2721056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm atheist and DH is sort of agnostic (he kinda sorta believes in a higher power but not necessarily "God".). If we're being honest I'll probably be super tempted to tell them God and heaven aren't real. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2720995 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 17:04:52 +0000 caterw 2720995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am religious (Christian- Episcopalian), but we have been discussing other people's religions lately because my daughter has been noticing Muslim women's hijab. We start any talk with the phrase "Some people believe..." and then give a brief overview of anything that I absolutely know to be a fact. If my daughter has further questions, I will get out a book from the library or look it up online. We finish the talk by saying how nice it is that we live somewhere that people are allowed to believe what they want.</p> <p>I'm not sure how much of this she is absorbing because she is only 3... But at least I feel like I'm handling it in an inclusive, age appropriate, and consistent way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2720964 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 16:26:39 +0000 youboots 2720964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are not religious but DD goes to a Catholic daycare that will be her preschool and eventually possibly private K-8 if we stay in the area. It's the best education in our area and the principal and I have had some nice chats and many families are of different religions or not religious at all. It may seem odd but it's a good fit for us. In the future I expect to talk to her about religion and God as part of her education on the world in general. I remember visiting a Synagog in high school and being fascinated since I grew up Methodist. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-not-religious-1#post-2720956 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 16:13:29 +0000 kiddosc 2720956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What, if anything, do you tell your kids about God and/or religion? </p> <p>DH and I were both raised going to church, but we are both somewhat skeptical and don't really make religion a part of our lives. E is 4 and has little to no understanding of God and religion. We had to put our dog down this summer and several people told him she went to heaven... He completely misunderstood and now thinks she lives with someone named Kevin :meh: </p> <p>I was relaying that story to my Mom and she was disappointed that we haven't made an effort to talk to him about God and the whole shebang. We have several family members that are quite religious and the topic will come up fairly often, so it's probably good that the kids have some working knowledge of the subject... I'm just at a loss on where to even begin when it's not an idea I necessarily subscribe to. Any tips? </p>