https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 20:08:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911879 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 04:33:56 +0000 lamariniere 911879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it was 90° outside, then the NYC subway platform was probably at like 120°! I hated riding the subway when it was hot! </p> <p>Fortunately, we have only had one really bad public transit episode when DS was about 9 months old. He was WAILING on the NYC subway on the way home one day. I'm sure people would have liked for us to get off, but there was no way we were going to prolong our personal agony and I was trying everything I could to get him to be quiet. He eventually fell asleep about 2 stops from our apartment. I agree with a lot of other people, it's a public space and you have every right to be there as much as the candy sellers, singers, preachers, crazies, panhandlers, etc. It's not a good situation, but it's real life and you and other passengers just have to deal with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911828 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 23:29:11 +0000 skibobrown 911828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I don't think they needed to get off of the train. Try to quiet the toddler down, but if it's not working, that's life. This is the kind of thing that happens to all parents from time to time, right? If it were a restaurant, that would be a totally different case, and they should have left. But a subway car? It seems like the best thing for the family was probably to get the child to their destination as fast as possible. If a few people got annoyed along the way from having to listen to a child's tantrum, they'll survive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911746 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 21:58:56 +0000 Freckles 911746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Something like what @Ree723: said (great response). I don't think it's necessary to be rude to the woman just because she has no compassion, but as the parent who is having to deal with a stressful situation, i would feel very grateful to hear that not everyone is judging me (and my family). I would be too stressed to notice the sympathetic glances, and would assume everyone was glaring at me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911738 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 21:53:35 +0000 erwoo 911738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think parents should take them off the train. It is public transportation and you can't expect it to be nice and quiet all the time. Yes, have to be respectful of how much noise you make but you can't control kids sometimes. If it was me, I would want to get home asap to get my toddler to sleep! If I got off the train, it would take that much longer to get home. I've experienced this quite a few times with both of my kids but not on a train. At a store...tantrum while paying and everyone at the store hearing my kid cry his lungs out. I feel that mother's pain. That old lady probably should have just change trains instead of yelling at that poor mother. It's much easier for her to do that than for that mother and toddler. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911737 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 21:52:22 +0000 Ree723 911737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I know this wasn't directed at me, but I would have said something like "you can see the parents are trying their best to calm their baby and unfortunately, comments like yours are not helping. If you don't have anything helpful to contribute, please refrain from making any comment at all." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911724 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 21:47:02 +0000 mrbee 911724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: Just out of curiosity, what would you have said to the older lady? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911720 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 21:44:47 +0000 Freckles 911720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's awful. I know how mortified i am when LO cries/fusses on the train, but no way would i even think of getting off. You want to get home as soon as possible, because that's really when he/she will get back to normal.</p> <p>I wish someone had said something in defense of those parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911682 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 21:18:05 +0000 googly-eyes 911682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: nope it's public transportation. So what if they got off, what were they supposed to do, walk? He was inconsolable, best thing is to get home quickly! I wonder if she goes up to transients and says "nobody wants to see your stuff/smell your odor"...she'd probably get beat up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911618 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 20:48:14 +0000 hummusgirl 911618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oy, how horrible for that woman to pile on to an already stressful situation for the parents. I wouldn't get off the train, like others said it's just the tradeoff for using public transportation and that family has every right to get where they need to go. I seem to always get stuck on the subway with loud preachy people though - I wouldn't mind if she told them off! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911505 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 20:03:34 +0000 sarac 911505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a nasty, nasty woman. Public transportation is not some restaurant that we go to for a nice evening - it is a service that we use to go about our lives. What should those parents have done, taken their screaming toddler up to bother people on the street and further delayed getting him home to a quiet environment? Shame, shame on her. Parents trying to calm down their upset children have enough to feel crummy about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911479 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 19:51:41 +0000 Sadieloo 911479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally agree with others. Between the preaching, singing and regular people carrying on conversations loud enough for everyone to hear, the screaming toddler isn't so bad. Some people are persistently cranky and forget that they were probably in the same situation at some point in their life! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911464 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 19:42:35 +0000 SouthPaw 911464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh man I feel so bad for the parents... I would stay on the train and hope that if me and my dh were both there one of us would be able to settle the LO down. I wish that if I was on the train during such an escapade I would have the courage to tell the lady that I would much rather hear the toddler than her ridiculous rant. Kind of bummed out no one said something to her...</p> <p>I agree with prior posters, going on public transportation we have people preaching, singing, dancing, asking for money, sap stories etc.! I would take a screaming toddler hands down... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911428 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 19:14:46 +0000 SugarplumsMom 911428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>90 degrees out and the parents were trying. I would feel ultra bad until I hear the older lady preaching. That would piss me off so much, I'd purposely go near her! The nerve of some ppl! It's public transportation. Grr. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911408 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 18:54:28 +0000 betsyboop 911408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I probably would have gotten off the train just for a change of scenery for LO but most definitely wouldn't expect other parents to do the same. Maybe that woman was having a bad day but she had no right to tell the parents to get off the train. Like others have said, it's public transportation so if you want a quiet peaceful ride, take a taxi! And I'm sure the last thing parents want to hear while their child is having a meltdown is some cranky old woman yammering away about how their crying child is being disruptive. I feel bad for them. And for her. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911340 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 18:10:51 +0000 Pepper 911340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have definitely stayed on the train. When I was doing an internship in NYC, people were often walking through the car yelling for money or about religion, or attempting to play an instrument to collect money, etc while I was on my way home. Would that lady tell those people to shut it? Maybe, but chances are they wouldn't! I would have ignored her, and stayed on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911326 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 18:04:47 +0000 Corduroy 911326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't expect the family to get off the subway. Wouldn't that be disruptive to the people waiting at the station? I also wouldn't want them to change cars. I hate when I switch cars to get away from an annoying/smelly/creepy passenger and then they "follow" me. Just stay put. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911322 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 18:03:36 +0000 lemondrop 911322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I couldn't calm him down, all the more reason to get home quickly, I would have stayed. The lady probably would have gotten an ear full of nastiness from me too. I expect someone to step outside in a restaurant, but not on PUBLIC transportation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911315 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 17:56:41 +0000 Rubies 911315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it were me (and my toddler was melting down), I would have probably made the decision on my own to get off the train because I'd be so embarrassed. However, the old lady was out of line and if I had enough guts, I'd tell her to shut her face. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911272 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 17:30:37 +0000 Dandelion 911272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They probably are already on their way home and know that their kid is annoying....what can they do but take the kid home? That lady was out of line. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911266 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 17:20:00 +0000 sarac 911266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is beyond ridiculous. The subway isn't a restaurant, it's public transportation. We don't use it to have a relaxing night out - we use it to get somewhere. Children throw tantrums - some times it can't be fixed. How rude of that woman to berate them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911265 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 17:19:41 +0000 MrsTiz 911265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends on the child, if you know your kid will freak out for a few minutes then relAx I'd stay put. If you have a kid who's meltdowns are usually half hour ordeals, I'd get off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911254 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 17:05:16 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 911254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you have the luxury of having your own vehicle and/or the luxury of affording a cab, then you have the luxury of a peaceful ride.<br /> If you hop on a subway- then enjoy the ruckus!<br /> I wouldn't get off. I'd be embarrassed; but, that's parenthood for ya... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911238 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 16:42:55 +0000 MrsSCB 911238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I ride the subway multiple times a day. I don't have my own kids (yet!) but I sure do hear a lot of crying kids on the trains. I think that woman was totally out of line. The parents were obviously trying, I'm sure they were mortified, and really it makes up such a small part of that older woman's day. A little sympathy goes a long way. And I'd much prefer a crying child over the scary guy yelling obscenities at me on the train the other day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911234 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 16:40:50 +0000 MamaBehr 911234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have stayed on the train. If my kid is melting down because he or she is hot/tired/hungry all the more reason to get home fast! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911227 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 16:35:27 +0000 Foodnerd81 911227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I keep thinking about this-- I hope I would have had the guts to say something to the old lady about backing off, or at least gone over and said something nice to the parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911225 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 16:34:00 +0000 bunnylove08 911225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would try my best to get Lo to stop but if she wouldn't I would stay on the train. Who needs a hot and sweaty toddler/infant crying the if it bothers people they can switch trains </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911222 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 16:31:23 +0000 yin 911222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If my LO had a tantrum on the subway, I would try to get off at the next stop. My LO needs time to cool off and calm down, and it's difficult under pressure with all eyes on you. I would do it out of consideration of the other passengers and also for my LO's sake. Once calm, I would just on the next train back to our destination. </p> <p>But... I would not appreciate someone woman saying that to me. As a parent, it's difficult to deal with tantrums. We try our best to do what we can, and I certainly don't need someone voicing their opinions without any compassion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911218 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 16:28:41 +0000 cmbknyc 911218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @mrsjazz we have to put up with all kinds of "entertainment", soliciting, arguing and preaching on the subway every day. I'll take an innocent child's tantrum over any of those any day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911202 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 16:15:45 +0000 oceanbee59 911202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I probably would've told the old lady to shove it. And that's putting it mildly. What, you've never been around an inconsolable toddler?? Give it a rest, they were trying. I think it's more annoying when people blast music on the bus, at least that they can control! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youre-on-the-subway-and-your-toddler-throws-a-tantrum-should-you-get-off-the-train#post-911200 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 16:14:43 +0000 pinkb 911200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: I agree. If you want to ensure a quite ride get a cab.</p> <p>If the tantrum was for any of the reason you listed, the only thing that would help in my mind, is to get home as soon as possible. Which I am guessing is what they were trying to do. </p>