https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 30 May 2026 03:09:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youve-had-an-iui-or-ivf#post-1420365 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 12:28:38 +0000 spaniellove 1420365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree, and it doesn't have to wait until the very end. You can be thinking of her throughout the process - all of it is tough! </p> <p>Not that it compares 100%, but you wouldn't want someone to ask you at the end of a 2WW "so are you pregnant?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youve-had-an-iui-or-ivf#post-1420193 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 11:31:00 +0000 BSB 1420193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mkp17: I agree. This is perfect. If she wants to open up to you about her last or current IUI or IVF, she will.</p> <p>My sister has friends with IF and so she kinda gets what I'm going through. Which is great sometimes but she happen to text me on a day after I got a :bfn: and I just did not want to talk about it. I texted her that and I think she got the hint. I felt bad for being that way but I just didn't feel like hashing it all up again. I was slowly on the mend and just wanted to move on and think of the next cycle.</p> <p>Anyway, a simple 'I want you to know that I'm thinking of you and if you want to talk about it, I'm here for you,' can be just what I need. It's the thought of support that can lift my spirits. I might not want to talk but knowing that others are thinking of me, makes me feel less alone. Especially in the world where most of my friends are posting about baby pregnancy, milestones and everything else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youve-had-an-iui-or-ivf#post-1420153 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 11:17:05 +0000 Caly 1420153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just like everyone else said, a "how are you" is much better than a direct "did it work?" That way she knows you're thinking of her, haven't forgotten and she can share what she feels comfortable sharing. This is why we were very selective of who we told before procedures. You're a good friend to ask &amp; be sensitive to the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youve-had-an-iui-or-ivf#post-1420131 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 11:10:02 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1420131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely preferred "how are you" to "did it work". We're very open about our struggles so quite a few people knew about the IVF. It was tough to have to tell them all no, but the amount of support we received was great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youve-had-an-iui-or-ivf#post-1420093 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 10:54:51 +0000 MamaMoose 1420093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks guys!! I'll just let her know I'm thinking about her and let her decide how much she does or doesn't want to tell me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youve-had-an-iui-or-ivf#post-1420073 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 10:48:31 +0000 Shutterbug 1420073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you got good advice... don't ask outright, but let her know you're thinking of her. The main reason I didn't tell anyone (except one friend) is that I didn't want to have to disappoint them all one by one with bad news. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youve-had-an-iui-or-ivf#post-1420071 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 10:48:10 +0000 swedishfish 1420071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everyone else gave great advice so I will say you are very sweet for thinking of your friend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youve-had-an-iui-or-ivf#post-1420061 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 10:45:31 +0000 twodoghouse 1420061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mkp17: That's what I preferred as well.</p> <p>By the time we got to the end of our IVF, I felt like a lot of people knew what was going on and everyone knew what day we'd be getting news. That put SO much stress on me because I felt like I'd have to tell everyone right away and even if it was + what if something happened and I had told people already? When you go through IVF (and, I imagine, IUI) you already feel like you've been robbed of so much of the "regular" pregnancy process, and telling people who asked whether it worked or not was just another thing that I didn't get to do "normally." </p> <p>If I were you, I'd let her know that you're thinking good thoughts for her, but let her share her news (hopefully it will be good news!) when she feels ready. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youve-had-an-iui-or-ivf#post-1420039 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 10:39:58 +0000 Mrs. Train 1420039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @mkp17: a note, email or text that just says "thinking about you" or "in my thoughts" is a good way. It then lets her now you are open for talking but doesn't force the issue. I would avoid straight forward questions like so did it work or so are you pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youve-had-an-iui-or-ivf#post-1420034 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 10:38:25 +0000 Happygal 1420034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's tricky! I wanted to tell people I was having an IUI b/c it felt like a big deal and I was excited, but I didn't want them asking afterwards b/c when I do get pregnant, I won't tell anyone for awhile. I did have one friend ask, and it was sad to have to call her back and tell her it didn't work. I won't tell friends next time.</p> <p>So I agree with @MKP17:--saying "just thinking about you, no need to respond unless you want to!" kind of email or text would be nice. That way she can choose to respond if she wants to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youve-had-an-iui-or-ivf#post-1420025 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 10:34:40 +0000 mkp17 1420025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always appreciated a "just thinking about you" check in letting me know friends were there in case I needed a distraction, needed to talk, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-youve-had-an-iui-or-ivf#post-1420020 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 10:33:10 +0000 MamaMoose 1420020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did you want people to check up on you to see if it worked?</p> <p>A very good friend of mine has unexplained infertility and had her first IUI yesterday. My husband and I are literally the only people they've told. Her family knows that getting pregnant "isn't easy" for them, but they haven't told anyone else about the procedure... so it's not like they have a ton of support while they are going through this.</p> <p>So obviously in approximately two weeks, she'll know if it worked. My question is: Should I check up on her? I don't want her to think I forgot about her and just ignore the fact that she had the IUI (I did wish her good luck the morning of and told her I'd be thinking about her all day). But I also don't want to ask and force her to talk about it if it didn't work and she's really upset. What should I do? </p>