https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 22 May 2026 04:03:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1307092 Mon, 30 Dec 2013 02:33:06 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1307092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so so so so so SO sorry! This whole post breaks my heart. I'm not sure how much you would be willing to rearrange your lives but maybes down the line you can think about finding something part time and down sizing a bit? We moved to a more affordable city and it looks like we will be movin again at some point to an even more affordable smaller town. My husband had to find new work and it was rough but it was worth it for us. We also live on a very tight budget and we are waiting to buy a house until after we finish having kids and see how it goes expense wise. Perhaps you can rent out a room in your house on air bnb or babysit other kids so you am stay home but have extra money? This may not happen overnight but if you are truly unhappy then you should never allow yourself to feel trapped.</p> <p>On the flip side perhaps you can find ways to enjoy being back too. The time you spend with your baby will be more quality and perhaps you will enjoy having some of your personal space back. Can your in laws drive baby to you on your lunch hour so ou can see her everyday? </p> <p>Sending you a BIG HUG </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1307086 Mon, 30 Dec 2013 02:12:03 +0000 Kimberlybee 1307086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Big hugs....this will probably be me in a few months, writing a very similar post. I have to return to work in June 2014. That's why I am a little bit sad that 2014 is just around the corner. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1307066 Mon, 30 Dec 2013 01:32:22 +0000 MamaMagpie 1307066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Big big hugs! I'm going back to work on the second and I cry about it pretty much daily :(<br /> I have no advice, but just wanted to give some support! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1307059 Mon, 30 Dec 2013 01:24:07 +0000 deactivated_account 1307059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry, friend. I've put off TTC for a few years almost solely because of the child care issue. You are fairly lucky to have a family member who is willing to watch your LO full time. You didn't mention if you'd have to pay the inlaws, so I will assume you don't. I have the opposite problem as you in that I can't imagine leaving my kid with a random daycare provider. Hopefully your mil unconditionally loves your LO and that could maybe be a little comfort to you. Maybe you could consider downsizing your house. Best of luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1307048 Mon, 30 Dec 2013 01:17:01 +0000 MrsLilybugg 1307048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sending hugs. I completely understand your panic. What about setting up a "nanny cam" so that you can peek in on your LO while at work? This might ease some of your anxiety if you could see them. I'm sure if you phrase it to MIL that it's just because you will miss baby so much that she won't feel offended. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1306949 Sun, 29 Dec 2013 23:45:14 +0000 Dagny 1306949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just sending hugs! Going back stinks :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1306893 Sun, 29 Dec 2013 23:08:56 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 1306893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there anyway you could try to work from home? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1306882 Sun, 29 Dec 2013 23:02:36 +0000 tillma 1306882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: we should start a support group :)</p> <p>@swedishfish and @ctran: DH has been trying to talk to MIL and correct problems. I also suggested tonight that we make a list and hopefully that will help. We have been trying to have them babysit here and there to kind of break them in but I would be lying if I said I wasn't in a total PANIC about them babysitting an entire day :( </p> <p>@glitter: I am actually looking at options and trying to work towards this but haven't come across any options that are quick and feasible at this point. Looks like it will be more of a long term goal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1306820 Sun, 29 Dec 2013 22:36:04 +0000 Glitter 1306820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you're feeling so much anxiety and totally understand why! Is there any way you can earn income from home? New job with work from home flexibility or home run business? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1306798 Sun, 29 Dec 2013 22:26:48 +0000 Ctran 1306798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi<br /> I don't have any answers for you but I'm so sorry you are going through this. **hugs***<br /> Can your husband talk to your MIL if you don't feel comfortable to explain to her about certain things you want her to do when taking care of your baby? I know it's hard but I had to do that with my mom a few times since she was taking care of my daughter when I first went back to work. It's tough because my mom is very traditional and has her own way of doing things. Over time though she understands that times have changed and there is a certain way that my husband and I want to raise our child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1306786 Sun, 29 Dec 2013 22:21:31 +0000 swedishfish 1306786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope your return goes well. I had to go back when LO was 10 weeks old and the first few days were the hardest. Maybe you could make a checklist for your ILs to follow while they watch their LO? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1306781 Sun, 29 Dec 2013 22:19:08 +0000 oliviaoblivia 1306781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Big hugs! I'm a week out from my return to work as well. I hope your MIL starts listening to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-having-a-really-tough-time#post-1306750 Sun, 29 Dec 2013 22:10:08 +0000 tillma 1306750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am having a really tough time :sad: I am one week out from needing to return to work and I don't want to go. This coming from the girl who didn't want to quit work before she gave birth. I never thought I would say this but I love, love, love being a mom and so desperately want to do it full time. I love my job but something strange has happened to me and now I can't imagine doing anything but taking care of my baby. I have not had an ounce of postpartum depression but am starting to get scared that this might be the thing to bring it on. I have cried several times over it in the last week and know that the fact that this is my last week will only make it worse. To make matters worse I just got an email today announcing that my coworker who was pregnant at the same time as me has decided to quit to become a SAHM. It just rubs salt into open wounds.</p> <p>I'm sure by now you are wondering why I don't just stay home. Financially impossible. DH and I make nearly the same amount. His salary would cover the mortgage and the monthly bills but that is it. Without my income there is no food or discretionary income for crazy things like gas and car repairs. I have been over the bills and there are a few things we could cut but they are REALLY minor and wouldn't even come close to touching my income.</p> <p>Now the real kicker: we can't afford child care either. We live in an area of the country with some if the highest child care rates in the nation. Childcare would be more than our mortgage which clearly we can't afford. So my MIL and FIL are taking care of LO. While I am extremely grateful for the help I am scared to death to leave LO with them. MIL has zero common sense and doesn't listen to direction very well. You can't just correct her once either she requires multiple conversations to set it right. She asked me when LO was a few weeks old if I had fed him solids yet, when I said no she said she fed DH cereal in his formula at one week old because "he was hungry all of the time" We asked her to put diaper ointment on LO EVERYTIME because the poor little guy breaks out in raging diaper rash immediately if you don't. she forgot and when we asked her again she instead tracked down powder in our house and put that on him instead. Last time we left him with her she ran out of fresh milk so instead of going to the freezer to grab some out of my stash she had the brilliant idea to give our newborn water instead (which could have been genuinely dangerous if she had given him enough) thank God we came home before she did it.</p> <p>I could go on and on. She means well but just doesn't get it and because if that I have the added anxiety of her being our only option at this point.</p> <p>I don't know what my purpose is in writing all of this I guess I just needed to get some things off my chest and hopefully get some advice and kindness. I am at a loss right now and am feeling sad about going back to work and don't really know how to handle all of this :( </p>