https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 03:41:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-worried-that-my-son-cantwont-talk-to-me#post-2776639 Fri, 29 Sep 2017 14:01:11 +0000 hummusgirl 2776639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is so hard to get anything out of kids that age! We try to get some intel by going around the table and doing highs and lows or sometimes I'll play two truths and a lie with my 5-year-old in the car on the way home from school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-worried-that-my-son-cantwont-talk-to-me#post-2776638 Fri, 29 Sep 2017 13:56:16 +0000 Anagram 2776638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you ask your kiddo specific questions like, "I heard you were feeling very scared and upset after the boy attacked Miss _______ today. What did the boy do? How did you feel after that?</p> <p>My 4 year old basically never tells me anything unless I ask very specific questions. We have a babysitter do pickup, but sometimes the teacher will pass on info to her, and then the babysitter tells me--like funny things LO said, or maybe an incident where another kid wasn't sharing with her. She won't ever bring them up on her own, but I just say "Miss K said you and Brian had trouble sharing today. What happened?" and then she'll tell me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-worried-that-my-son-cantwont-talk-to-me#post-2776635 Fri, 29 Sep 2017 13:47:03 +0000 JerricaBenton 2776635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds really tough, my lo is the same age. I agree that it's awesome your lo has this teacher he has such a connection with. Have you thought about asking the teacher to ask him/lead him to talk to you and your husband about a particular worry or topic? I think it's admirable that you don't want to betray his trust in the teacher but I think I might try and get around it to make him talk a bit, like telling him you heard about the incident with the teacher being attacked from another parent and how that must have been scary for him... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/im-worried-that-my-son-cantwont-talk-to-me#post-2776631 Fri, 29 Sep 2017 13:32:40 +0000 littlebug 2776631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So D is 4.5. He has had a pretty rough year that required some counseling to help us (both) cope with some things that were going on, mostly at school. Through all of the stuff going on, I almost never heard about it from him. It was usually a report from his teacher where she would tell me that he talked to her about all this stuff that was worrying him. I would ask him about it, generally, but never pressed him for details because I didn't want to betray his trust in his teacher. We had several conversations about what to do if an adult is doing something he doesn't like and who in his life are his "safe grown-ups." But he always went to his teacher, never to me or my husband. </p> <p>He's with a new teacher now in a new classroom but he still interacts with his old teacher on a dialy basis. Yesterday she approached me when I came to pick him up and told me that one of the other children in the school attacked her, putting his hands on her throat and choking her. She said that D saw it and once she came back downstairs after going to the office, he approached her and hugged her super hard. He told her how scared he was that she was going to die and thought that that boy was going to choke her and make her not breathe. She said all day long, every time she saw him, he would come over and give her a huge hug and tell her he loved her. She said he was in a fine mood, and his current teacher said the same, but clearly was shaken by what he saw. I asked him in the car on the way home if anything happened at school and he said no. I let it go. Later I asked him if there was anything that happened at school that made him feel sad or scared and again he said no. Like before, I didn't push it, because I don't want to betray his trust in his teacher. And don't get me wrong - I'm THRILLED he trusts her and knows he can confide in her. But why won't he talk to me or my husband? Is this an age thing? </p> <p>I think I've done a pretty good job at always validating his feelings and making sure he knows that it's ok to talk to me about anything. But it seems like this big stuff - fears about me dying, issues with the chaplain at school, and now this situation - he doesn't feel comfortable coming to me with it. I'm starting to feel like I'm doing something wrong. </p>