https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 10:27:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2701084 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 10:07:47 +0000 Lilmrsm 2701084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: My in laws cancelled Christmas Eve dinner at last minute because we live near my MILs sister and they would be going there Christmas Day and invited themselves over when I wanted to leave to go to my parents house so they could just head to her sisters house afterwards. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2654573 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 19:15:04 +0000 MrsRoo 2654573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: yea. It's nuts. She's always been a little spacey, but she told my husband that they never actually committed to watching the girls and never spoke to me about it. I'm chalking it up to in-law weirdness and calling it a day. Thankfully we still have time to make other plans. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2654540 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 17:18:37 +0000 birdofafeather 2654540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: that is so strange! i mean, you can't force someone to watch your kids and i wouldn't want to convince them to if they weren't interested, but that is so weird for her to completely disregard your conversation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2654149 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 07:40:16 +0000 gotkimchi 2654149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: ugh so frustrating!!! This exactly why I try to avoid using his parents for anything! I hope you find a great sitter and can have a fun time at the wedding! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2654118 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 03:48:38 +0000 MrsRoo 2654118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: that's so frustrating! My dad is doing something similar to my brother right now, too. WTH, grandparents??<br /> After DH came home and gave me the details of the conversation, I won't be talking to them about this. His mom told him that she never even spoke to me regarding the plans to watch the girls and that they were "not interested" in watching them that weekend but would still watch them on the weekend of the bridal shower. Gee, thanks.<br /> So yea, I'm done with this. Doing exactly as @gingerbebe: suggests and moving on for the sake of family relationships during the upcoming holidays. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2654094 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 00:09:34 +0000 gingerbebe 2654094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry, your in-laws are being nuts. Period. Roll your eyes, find another sitter, move on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2654081 Thu, 17 Nov 2016 23:39:27 +0000 JennyD 2654081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>such a ridiculous situation! What did they think!?! If they were confused, why didn't they just call and ask!?!</p> <p>My mom did something similar to me this summer. I thought I was going to have to cancel a trip I'd been planning for 6 months. I was furious!</p> <p>Hopefully they'll come around. Can you talk to them again? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653358 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 19:00:02 +0000 Boogs 2653358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I can totally see this happening with my relatives. They would get their feelings hurt because they weren't technically invited by the hosts, so they wouldn't feel welcome. They were verbally asked to be at the ceremony, even if it's just to help with kids, so I think it's more they are offended and don't feel welcome. I'm sure if you explain it all they will still help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653306 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 17:02:26 +0000 MrsRoo 2653306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: @Mrsbells: yes! Thank you, different perspectives from people outside the situation are exactly why I came here.<br /> Full disclosure: its an outdoor ceremony at a public park, so I figured it would be great to have the in laws come and they could walk the baby around the corner to the playground if she got restless. We actually did offer to put them up in a room at our hotel with the girls but they declined, preferring to take them back to their home.<br /> Regardless of the circumstances, why cancel outright? Why not just say that they aren't comfortable coming to the ceremony but still watch the girls? It's an out of town wedding for us, with all of my local family involved in the wedding. So now we are having to find a sitter in a different city who doesn't know our kids- and in laws are aware of that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653298 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:46:32 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2653298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: I could see that. @MrsRoo: once you presented it like come to the ceremony since it will be easier I would as your ILs have asked "are you sure we are invited?" Hopefully, you can smooth over the miscommunication and get your sitters back! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653297 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:46:30 +0000 Mrsbells 2653297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: I'll play the devils advocate and say it clearly sounds like a misunderstanding. I think asking them to come to the ceremony just to watch your kids is kind of asking for a lot because they still have to dress up, they cant just show up in jeans and a shirt. So this probably got them confused to thinking they were guests of the wedding?</p> <p>I know my mother is easily confused with things and I have to really emphasize and repeat things before she finally is clear on them </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653296 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:43:25 +0000 catlady 2653296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually can see it from their perspective if you expected them to attend the ceremony (and presumably dress up, etc). Every time I've seen people bring ILs to babysit during a wedding, they've been in a hotel room somewhere, not attending the event. I personally would feel very weird going to a wedding that I wasn't explicitly invited to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653293 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:41:39 +0000 nana87 2653293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Gaaah this would drive me crazy too! I don't think it would have hurt to send them an invite/std, knowing that they would say no to the reception, but I also think it's beyond ridiculous for them to back out just bc they didn't get one </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653291 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:38:28 +0000 MrsRoo 2653291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: thank you. I can see that perspective. I just did not even think to have my sister send a save the date. It was a very casual conversation about the arrangements for the day. Like " maybe it will be easier if you guys came to the ceremony so that dd2 won't disrupt and you'll already be there to just take dd1 after photos." I guess it's just a difference of perception. I would have expected that as adults if they would have been uncomfortable they would have talked to us about it rather than just canceling. Ultimately I'll call MIL in the next day or so and apoplogize that there was a miscommunication. That part is all on me, as it was my brilliant idea to ask them to come to the ceremony. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653287 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:28:26 +0000 Truth Bombs 2653287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: if he knew they weren't guests I don't get why he would be mad that you pointed out that you are in fact "using" them....? I have a husband who also can not admit when his mom is being crazy so I really feel for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653286 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:26:35 +0000 PawPrints 2653286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I get where they are coming from. I would feel extremely uncomfortable attending a wedding ceremony that I hadn't been invited to. I think when you arranged with them to attend the ceremony they probably assumed they would be invited. (If it's an hour away, presumably they would be physically at the ceremony while watching the kids?) I think you should have spoken to your sister about sending them a STD/invite. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653283 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:24:07 +0000 MrsRoo 2653283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: this was an easier question to answer a few hours ago. I don't think he believes they were ever coming as guests. I think he just got defensive and started defending them when he told me his moms reasoning and I told him how utterly ridiculous that sounded. But he was (and is) at work, so our conversations have been very limited today. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653266 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:10:17 +0000 Truth Bombs 2653266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: I'm so confused. Did you husband think his parents were coming as guests? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653265 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:09:20 +0000 MrsRoo 2653265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: yessss. I told DH that we were definitely using them as baby sitters and he was not pleased with that response 😂<br /> @gotkimchi: this is what I'm hoping will happen. I just need to give myself a day or two because right now its so ridiculous that I'm not sure I can talk to MIL without either cursing or laughing.<br /> @Adira: this is the only explanation I can come up with. But since I'm the one who asked MIL to come to the ceremony and then take the girls home, I'm at a loss As to how there could have been such a giant misunderstanding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653255 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:00:42 +0000 Adira 2653255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>WTF?? Do these people not understand what babysitting means?? My parents babysat my kids when I was in a wedding. They obviously didn't receive an invite to the wedding and were not offended. That's just CRAZY.</p> <p>Did your in-laws not understand that they are just there to BABYSIT? Not actually attend the wedding?? Did they think they were also attending the reception and just bringing the kids to watch them (even though it's a child-free reception)??? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653245 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:51:07 +0000 gotkimchi 2653245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: they're being weird! I would totally call them on it. Like "I'm sorry there must be some confusion, we were relying on you to babysit, not attend the wedding as guests per say." Then because this would annoy my in laws I would say "no prob we'll find another sitter" and then they would fall all over saying oh no we can do it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653242 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:47:54 +0000 erinbaderin 2653242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>....wow. This seems so childish and petty I almost can't believe it. I might ask your husband to press them on why they can no longer do it and remind them that you were relying on them.</p> <p>Edited after I saw your comment: you ARE using them! You're using them as babysitters! That's the whole point! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653240 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:46:46 +0000 MrsRoo 2653240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: @MrsB2012: omg. Thank you for making me feel sane.<br /> That's correct. They are not guests and would not be coming to the wedding at all if not to watch our children while my husband and I stand up with my sister and her fiancé during the ceremony. The worst part is that DH went to bat for this craziness! He said that he understands because them not getting a save the date makes it seem like we're using them..... ummm. We asked them to baby sit. now I'm pissed at my in-laws and DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653238 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:44:49 +0000 skipra 2653238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is so weird and annoying! I'm sorry. I have also had my in laws cancel or just not show up the few times we needed them. It is sad when family won't help family for dumb reasons. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653234 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:40:57 +0000 MrsB2012 2653234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Exactly @Mrs. Lemon-Lime! They weren't invited to the wedding as guests, they were invited to the ceremony by OP strictly to babysit. If they weren't going to be babysitting, they ever would have been invited to the wedding I'm assuming. That is so incredibly childish of them to be acting this way. So they're actually not going to watch your kids? Can you try and talk to them about it? That's crazy, I'm sorry you have to now try and find an overnight sitter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653227 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:37:24 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2653227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>let me get this straight, they are not invited to your sister's wedding? They have only been asked to babysit? </p> <p>I don't know why they would think she should have sent them a STD. They aren't guests. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-vent-thread#post-2653220 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:30:45 +0000 MrsRoo 2653220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm seeing red and just need an in-law vent to clear my mind, so please bear with me!</p> <p>My little sister is getting married in a few months. It's a child free wedding but my older daughter is a flower girl. When they made the decision to have no children we asked my in laws if they could watch our girls after the ceremony. They agreed and to make it easier on everyone since the wedding is about an hour away from in laws house I asked them to come to the ceremony so that they could watch the baby and be close to take the toddler after photos. DH and I are both in the wedding. Apparently at lunch the other day FIL told DH that he hoped we weren't counting on them to watch the girls for the wedding. We clearly were relying on them since they agreed months ago when the date was set. DH called MIL and ultimately there was no reason given for them cancelling plans to watch the girls but during the course of the call, MIL mentioned that they never got a save the date for the wedding and they saw ours on our cork board so they knew that they already went out. What?! Why would they need a save the date to babysit our children for my sisters wedding? This just seems beyond childish to me and I can't believe that now we have to find an overnight sitter for our two kids. Ugh. Am I nuts? Should I have had my sister send a save the date to my in laws who were coming to the ceremony at our request specifically to watch our children since literally every single other family member is involved in the wedding?</p> <p>Anyone else have any in law drama and want to commiserate? I usually love my in laws but I just can't with this today. </p>