https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 20:37:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2329078 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 14:43:44 +0000 Ree723 2329078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same here! We just told DH's parents on Sunday that we're expecting our third, and whilst they were happy for us, they were really surprised and said they didn't think they'd be getting another grandchild from us! I know they didn't mean anything by it but I couldn't help but (irrationally) think that they were suggesting I couldn't cope with three. I think I'm just being overly sensitive but still.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2329073 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 14:40:53 +0000 winniebee 2329073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: OMG I would be furious! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2329002 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 14:01:35 +0000 rachiecakes 2329002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: my MIL used to tell me that I would never have a child :shocked:<br /> she would go on and on about how she would never be a grandmother.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2329001 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 14:01:29 +0000 mrsrain 2329001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I expect we'll have the opposite problem, with expectations being that we will have more kids (current pregnant with #2). We will just be honest and say that we're done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328993 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 13:58:35 +0000 mrsjyw 2328993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have received comments of the opposite, have one more for your girl!! Whaaaat?! Like that's the reason you should have children.</p> <p>On top of that, I think mil wants me to birth a soccer team because she was forced to being one n done by fil. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328952 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 13:31:38 +0000 LuLu Mom 2328952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my MIL assumes we are done, but I have to take the fault for that because when I was pregnant with #2 I made it very clear we were two and through, not going to "try for a boy." however now that the smoke has cleared, we have discussed a third. We are still very on the fence, so maybe everyone assuming we are done, we can avoid the "so when will you try for a boy" comments.</p> <p>Edit: and I will be team green mostly likely if we do a third because I know we will have another girl (I'm completely okay with this) and I will freak out if I hear "that's too bad you never got a boy" comment, like another girl is less of a blessing, those things upset me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328944 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 13:28:21 +0000 Alivoo01 2328944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup! As soon as my family found out we were having a girl with #2, they were like yay!! it's a girl!! now y'all are all done!! </p> <p>We did mention to one another that if we had one of each, we'd be done, but would try for a 3rd if we doubled up. even though we'll be having 1 of each once DD arrives, #3 is up in the air, and not a complete negatory. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328930 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 13:23:04 +0000 Adira 2328930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: Apparently until you have one of each, your family isn't complete! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328924 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 13:20:59 +0000 autumnlove 2328924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL insists that we are not done because she really wants us to have a 4th. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328921 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 13:19:47 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2328921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I've had so many people make this comment to me since having DS2. "Well...time to try for the girl!" I'm happy with my two boys, but thanks! My mom was/is notorious for this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328918 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 13:16:29 +0000 Modern Daisy 2328918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My Mom does this too!! My brother has 5 kids and my sister has 3 and my Mom i salways complaining about how they have "too many kids" and ranting about all the problems with large families. She finishes her rant every time wiht "I know you and DH are smart and will stop at 2, you would never be that stupid". I just keep my mouth shut because there are no words.. First of all, how insulting to people with large families and second um.. I've never told her how many I wanted to have! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328898 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 13:06:09 +0000 lilteacherbee 2328898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, my mom tells me all the time (like at least once every time I see her) that we should wait for awhile for #3. Obviously, that's the plan, because #2 is only 2.5 months old. However, she's more referring to the fact that my boys are only 20 months apart and because she had kids 3 years apart, she thinks it's the PERFECT gap and everyone should do it. I am soooo tired of hearing, "Now, if you're going to have another one, you should wait until he's 2 to start trying..."</p> <p>Oh, and everyone must comment that they hope for a girl next time. As if 3 boys would be super disappointing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328897 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 13:06:06 +0000 Corduroy 2328897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>After LO1 was born MIL mentioned casually that we may some day have a second. FIL was flabbergasted. Like he had zero clue that #2 was a possibility. Weird, since they have two kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328849 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 12:41:27 +0000 Raindrop 2328849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh I have the opposite issue. :) We have 2 boys and everyone (including in laws) think we will try again for a girl. We are actually on the fence but we could be done. We are leaning towards being done than having a 3rd. Juggling two is tough! Again if we have a 3rd it won't be for a long long time. Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328772 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 12:16:06 +0000 catomd00 2328772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just ignore it. My mom doesn't know I'm pregnant and asked me when we were having another. I said I wasn't sure. She went on a huge rant about how we should wait and let our first enjoy her babyhood (they'll be 27 months apart.) I was like well then okayyyyyy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328765 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 12:09:37 +0000 MamaG 2328765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are done! Took permanent measures and our families know this, but we still get asked about #3. Hello, I assume our measures are working, therefore #3 is impossible! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328759 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 12:07:42 +0000 Winterbee15 2328759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JHD: I agree. So annoying!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328738 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 11:59:13 +0000 Truth Bombs 2328738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My FIL has told me over and over again that "of course" I would have had a 3rd if this one was another girl instead of a boy. Uh, no. I wouldn't. If he says something again I may throat punch him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328736 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 11:56:55 +0000 jhd 2328736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Winterbee15: I'm sorry you are experiencing this too. I find it so hurtful. I dont mind so much if strangers ask because they don't know our situation, and usually they are just asking innocently. But coming from family who know our concerns, it is just hard to deal with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328722 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 11:51:29 +0000 BandDmommy 2328722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: my MIL wants us to have a 4th. Noooooo!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328710 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 11:48:19 +0000 Adira 2328710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we found out we were having a second boy, my in-laws assumed we'd just go for a third to get that elusive girl! They seemed so surprised that we were done. Like anyone can afford three in daycare?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328709 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 11:47:57 +0000 Winterbee15 2328709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JHD: We are in the same boat. It's extremely frustrating. In our situation, it also comes from family members that don't yet have children. :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328698 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 11:41:34 +0000 jhd 2328698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>MIL says we will have another some day because otherwise LO will be all alone. We are undecided about trying for #2 and not pressuring ourselves to make that decision, but those types of comments are very hard for me to hear! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328681 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 11:33:22 +0000 HappyBaker 2328681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: Yes, same here! We have one of each so it's even worse. Though to be fair I was VERY vocal about being done at 2 until about a week ago! But my parents have made comments how if we had more than 2 they wouldn't be able to babysit / have the kids stay over because they don't think they could handle it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/in-laws-who-dont-know-your-family-plans#post-2328671 Wed, 21 Oct 2015 11:29:37 +0000 winniebee 2328671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have 2 boys. We always were on the fence about a third, but we will go for a third. But, for whatever reason, my MIL assumes we are done having kids. She makes comments suggesting we are done all the time. Honestly, I highly doubt my husband would ever say anything to her about wanting to be done or not done....and she herself has 3 kids. I mean, our life is pretty chaotic with even 2 so she probably thinks we'd be crazy to have a third. But it really bugs me that she assumes we are done!!!</p> <p>Anyone else? </p>