https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 14:47:48 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work/page/2#post-2717400 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 11:44:57 +0000 rachiecakes 2717400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: "But it's basically saying, "Hey, let's talk about how you can be included more and how we can increase diversity in the workplace by taking time from your personal life. If you want to be included more, stay at work for 10 hours today instead of eight!""<br /> Exactly this.<br /> I'm sure there are many important topics that are discussed during business hours. This should be one of them. </p> <p>@macintosh: I solo parent every night during the work week. I do pick up, dinner, bedtime, etc., as my husband works evenings and I work typical 9-5. </p> <p>I'd be tempted to pick up my kids, bring them to the meeting and feed them dinner while I'm there to discuss inclusion in the workplace :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work/page/2#post-2717383 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 11:20:47 +0000 macintosh 2717383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I keep coming back to this question in my mind. Is it inconvenient? Yes. Would I make time for this if I were you? Probably not. Then again, there are all kinds of sacrifices that we make to have children in the first place.</p> <p>There are lots of things that I'd like to have time to do that I just don't. I wish I could get up earlier to work out, stay up later to clean my house, make time on the weekends to organize. But I just don't have enough time to do everything. </p> <p>I get what you're saying about hosting an event like this after hours - it's totally ironic. Yes, working mothers typically carry more burden and have less flexibility than working fathers. But what about single mothers? What about parents who work shift work and can't find reliable child care? I'm not sure what my point is, but the world is a very frustrating place for me right now. I just feel lucky to have a 9-5 job that allows me time to care for my family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work/page/2#post-2717347 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 10:25:00 +0000 MrsSCB 2717347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: Yes, exactly. Sure, it's doable. But it's basically saying, "Hey, let's talk about how you can be included more and how we can increase diversity in the workplace by taking time from your personal life. If you want to be included more, stay at work for 10 hours today instead of eight!" It sends the message that the topic isn't important enough to discuss during the workday, which seems like the opposite of what they're trying to accomplish. Just an odd choice on their part. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2717207 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 07:30:56 +0000 erinbaderin 2717207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get the perspective of all the people saying "This isn't a big deal, your husband can handle it", but I'm not sure that's the point. My husband probably could handle bath/bedtime by himself, but I wouldn't want to miss that time with my family. I work all day and only see my kids for a few hours every night and I would rather not go to an optional work event, especially one about how better to include me in my industry, that took away those few hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2717193 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 07:02:03 +0000 ElbieKay 2717193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have work events in the evening sometime. I agree with previous posters that this is not a big deal from a scheduling perspective. I usually leave the office around 6, so this is just one more hour anyway.</p> <p>That being said, the original poster said that she has a 3yo and a baby. There is no way that I would have prioritized an optional event like that when I had a baby. Life was too complicated. I was working from home a lot more and trying to balance my transition back to work.</p> <p>But after 12-18mo then it became easier to add back extracurricular activities. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2717185 Tue, 28 Mar 2017 06:36:17 +0000 Adira 2717185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: @sunny: Totally agree with you ladies.</p> <p>Saying that "diversity and inclusion" is important and then holding a function that's inconvenient for your target audience sends the message that it really ISN'T that important.</p> <p>I would definitely be peeved by this. I might try to make it work though, just so I could point out DURING the even that it was a hassle for my family for me to be able to attend, so it felt like the event wasn't really trying to be as inclusive as the message they are trying to send. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2717028 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 16:00:55 +0000 MrsSCB 2717028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunny: I agree with this. Holding an event during the workday makes it seem like the company has more commitment to its importance than an optional event after work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2717024 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 15:44:37 +0000 sunny 2717024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: Totally agree with you. If they want people to participate and to take it seriously, it needs to be during the work day. Otherwise they're implicitly saying "this isn't important". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716973 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 14:10:02 +0000 looch 2716973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: oh oh, she passed it on...I read it as that she "passed "on it, saying it wasn't important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716970 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 14:06:57 +0000 Andrea 2716970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't see an issue with this, but we aren't in the tech industry so perhaps I am not understanding. My DH has 2 after work events this week and he is never home for bedtime on a work day.</p> <p>I think it's good that you have given your feedback, but I would make it work for 1 night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716964 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 14:00:18 +0000 ShootingStar 2716964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I had told my boss this morning that I didn't think the timing was great, being a mom and trying to be inclusive to women. She agree, she then told the organizer she had some feedback on the timing from her team, but didn't call out my name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716960 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 13:57:59 +0000 looch 2716960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: what do you mean, your boss passed on your feedback? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716954 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 13:46:54 +0000 pwnstar 2716954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally agree with @lawbee11:, @Truth Bombs:, and @2PeasinaPod: (and other posters who said it was a non-issue). I would make it work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716920 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 13:19:10 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2716920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: I agree with you.</p> <p>To me, this is a no brainer. I know it stinks for one parent to have to handle bedtime solo, but DH and I do it pretty consistently. I've been traveling quite a bit for the last few weeks. He's been flying solo without me for 3 days at a time while I'm on a business trip. He had a week long training about 2 hours away that was easier for him to just stay. I was solo that week. If I want to go to happy hour with coworkers, he knows he's got bath that night. We're considerate of each other because we're supportive of each other when it comes to work and our social lives.</p> <p>If I had something like this, sure, I'd be annoyed at the timing, but I'd go and voice my opinion on that timing to the group. DH would handle bath and bed, and I'd come home knowing that I fought for more diversity and inclusion in the tech space. I think it's really important for our voices to be heard in this space, and my DH fully supports me in that. If you decided not to go and feedback was only passed on through a few different people, it's not as impactful as if you were in the room saying it with a ton of other nodding parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716839 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 12:20:15 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 2716839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It would definitely bother me, and its something I'd speak up about! I do think it shows how out of tune they are with the realities of mothers in the workplace. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716836 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 12:16:34 +0000 ShootingStar 2716836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And yes, my DH can handle bedtime. But we save those occasions for times when it's essential we're at work. Not for an optional event that seems ironically timed to me. </p> <p>Btw, my boss passed on my feedback. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716826 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 12:07:40 +0000 ShootingStar 2716826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: Yes, THIS. It's just really weird timing. We have events all the time. To make this after work, it's like they're almost trying to make it inconvenient. Or to imply it's not as important as regular work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716799 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 11:53:21 +0000 PawPrints 2716799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I completely agree with you. Tech companies have events during the workday ALL THE TIME. There is no reason why they needed to put this one after work. Doing so sends a message that it's not as important as other priorities. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716797 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 11:52:13 +0000 Truth Bombs 2716797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah I don't see an issue with this. I'm guessing the speaker probably doesn't have available time during business hours, so they planned the event around her schedule. I promise your husband can handle bath and bed time with a baby and three year old for one night. I do those things by myself on a regular basis because my husband works much later than I do. And on the occasion that I have a work or social event in the evenings, my husband handles it like a pro. I think the only people this really alienates is single working parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716792 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 11:45:37 +0000 Banana330 2716792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I don't see a problem with this, unless they dropped it on me last minute. I'd tell my DH I have a work event that night and I would enjoy the night off! I like that it's timed for right after work (and not some weird break amount of time and isn't in the work day so more people could attend (meetings etc)). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716778 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 11:24:31 +0000 Pollywog 2716778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hear you. My husband is in the tech industry and he would be pissed by this. It would be a major headache for us. I probably wouldn't go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716763 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 11:03:44 +0000 Freckles 2716763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since they said families were welcome, they probably think that's a good accommodation. How would you respond if they asked you for a better idea? Would it have been preferable to have the seminar happen during work hours? Wouldn't that be a worse time?</p> <p>While i agree the time isn't the most convenient, i would not have any issues asking my husband to cover nighttime duties for one night. A lot of things are held in the evenings during the most inconvenient times - board meetings, school open houses, etc. but i'm not going to let guilt be an obstacle when i know DH is perfectly capable. I'm not saying this is your situation, but for me personally it used to be a barrier/obstacle for doing/attending certain things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716739 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 10:39:13 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2716739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I admit I had the same first thought as @fancyfunction...while I agree that time is silly for any working parents, male or female, if it was important I wouldn't feel bad or guilty about my spouse doing the evening routine alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716734 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 10:36:02 +0000 gingerbebe 2716734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would totally say something, because this is one of those extremely teachable faux pas moments for your company to have. The fact that it didn't even cross their minds when planning this thing shows how not in tune they or the organizers are with the needs of working families and women, while probably patting their backs for putting on a diversity event.</p> <p>However, I would then also be prepared for the employer to ask me to step up and get involved in planning these type of events in the future as some kind of stakeholder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716732 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 10:34:53 +0000 fancyfunction 2716732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I totally get it - but definitely think this event is a good reason for you to skip bedtime this once. Hope everything works out :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716727 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 10:32:28 +0000 Anagram 2716727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I would send the feedback. It's important that they realize that if they want to attract working mothers to this event, that they realize many working mothers might not attend an optional work event after work hours.</p> <p>As a side note to you, whether you are the breadwinner or not, I think it's okay to ask your spouse to do solo duty occasionally for you to attend work stuff, even if it's optional. I know a big part of this is you don't want to miss your kids for an evening (I always feel that way, too), but I think a lot of working dads don't feel so guilty about missing an evening with their kids if they are doing good networking and it's an occasional event. So I wish we woman (and I put myself in this category) could feel a little less guilt about it, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716726 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 10:31:45 +0000 ShootingStar 2716726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@fancyfunction: Haha, he can do bedtime himself...I think. I would be honestly intimidated to do it myself. The baby's usually a tired mess from daycare and my son is full of crazy energy when he gets home. I try to save making him handle evenings on his own for times when it's truly needed, and he does the same for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716717 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 10:23:03 +0000 fancyfunction 2716717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just to play devils advocate - wondering if it's really a big deal that your husband does bedtime alone for one night? I SAH as do many of<br /> My friends and most of their husbands aren't ever even home by bedtime so they have to handle it alone all the time. And I've had many nights (as has my husband) where I've handled bedtime for both kids with no help. Just another perspective :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716715 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 10:18:26 +0000 ShootingStar 2716715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: They did say families are welcome. But we generally all have long commutes around here. I'd have to leave at 3 to get my kids and make it back by 4:30, and my kids' aren't really at an age where they can not be disruptive at an event like this. Plus, we'd get back way past their bedtimes. </p> <p>I did send a message to my boss and ask if there was a way to provide some anonymous feedback. She said she had the exact same thoughts about how inconvenient the time is and thought it was just her. She has a teenager so this apparently isn't just a little kids problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inclusion-at-work#post-2716712 Mon, 27 Mar 2017 10:14:19 +0000 ShootingStar 2716712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Generally if he needs to work late he brings home his computer and works after the kids are in bed. Daycare pick up is his responsibility. In our fields/job functions work dinners/happy hours/business trips are pretty rare. Other job functions have more of those types of things but we really don't. When we have situations that are true work emergencies and need to stay late, we support each other. But I actually make more and have a higher level job than him, so we can't really fall back on those traditional roles of the wife taking more of the household duties.</p> <p>@lawbee11: You're right, it is alienating to all parents. It's an event focused for women though. Men are welcome, but they aren't the target audience. So my thoughts were more like "They want to women to come to this event and discuss why more women aren't in our industry and yet they're alienating the segment of women that have kids." </p>