https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 10 May 2026 18:49:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793633 Wed, 27 Dec 2017 10:12:12 +0000 MsBAM 2793633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: That’s not right for people to poke fun!!! I don’t really see it as catering to your kid. You’re just trying to calm your LO down. My LO even gets upset with grandparents holding him. I find too that it’s worse when he’s passed around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793631 Wed, 27 Dec 2017 10:09:14 +0000 MsBAM 2793631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: She has 1 kid but she’s a teenager! A lot of people on my DH side will offer him back if he’s crying but my side seems to be worse and tries to walk around with him to calm him down. Once during the evening on Xmas eve when LO was crying I took him back and he immediately stopped crying! Kinda like an I told you so...I know my kid. I hate when people think something must be wrong bc your kid is crying (hungry, they have a burp, diaper change etc).. They always assume something is wrong and don’t realize they want their mom or dad! I’ll have to say what you suggested next time! Or say I think he’s hungry and go BF him to get away from the chaos....lol! It’s not often that many people are around so that’s good. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793597 Wed, 27 Dec 2017 07:19:28 +0000 Adira 2793597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does your aunt have kids of her own? I found that childless family members didn't seem as understanding of stranger anxiety and other NORMAL infant/toddler reactions to them! Most of our family, when holding a fussy baby, would offer them back immediately, but the childless ones might be like "Oh, he'll warm up to me in a minute! Leave us alone!" I just had to be really strict and stick up for my kid myself. "He's just going through the mommy-clingy phase! Let me take him back to calm him down." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793576 Tue, 26 Dec 2017 21:41:36 +0000 Becky 2793576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely get this. DD2 takes a bit to warm up sometimes even now that she’s 20 months. If she seems like she’s crying because she wants us I’ll grab her—I don’t really care. </p> <p>It took me until baby 2 to really get that some people just aren’t phased by crying babies. I’m talking about the “pass the baby” act at gatherings really. I always knew they were trying to be considerate and helpful by holding my crying kid, but for me I just couldn’t stand to see DD crying like that. There are a lot of big family and friend gatherings on my husband’s side and there’s a lot of pass the baby. I definitely got poked fun of with catering to DD1 every time she cried and it stressed me out and made me SO mad. With DD2 I never knew why she was crying anyway so I’d hand her off if someone else thought they could make a difference. I feel like at gatherings when DD2 was little I never knew where she was and sure I’d see her kind of crying across the room, but if she wasn’t in distress I figured someone she was comfortable with (grandparents, her own aunts or uncle) would pass by in a second anyway and she’d be fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793571 Tue, 26 Dec 2017 20:54:46 +0000 MsBAM 2793571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Oh for sure. I chose to ignore the comment. </p> <p>@littlejoy: I know! And some people don’t even think to wash their hands. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793525 Tue, 26 Dec 2017 14:42:00 +0000 littlejoy 2793525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is why my baby is usually in the carrier or on my boob when we're around other people. I just don't want to hear the opinions ... and I'm a bit of a germaphobe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793508 Tue, 26 Dec 2017 12:13:02 +0000 LemonJack 2793508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Synchronicity: Ugh, that's the worst!! Our first was more fussy than our second is, and I remember always being on edge when we were around larger groups because I wasn't sure how she'd react. I think she was just more sensitive to sounds, people, etc. It's stressful enough in those situations without someone making such an insensitive comment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793478 Tue, 26 Dec 2017 08:35:35 +0000 looch 2793478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In these situations, I just remind myself that I can't control other people, the only thing in my power is to control my reaction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793472 Mon, 25 Dec 2017 22:43:11 +0000 MsBAM 2793472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Synchronicity: I think that’s why my babe was fussy and crying too. He was being passed around all evening. I get people want to hold him but I think people forget how stressful it is for them. Poor babes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793471 Mon, 25 Dec 2017 22:40:41 +0000 MsBAM 2793471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: We aren’t really on the best terms to begin with and I could totally tell by her tone and body language that she thought I was nuts and that the issue was not that. I was not okay with my LO crying hysterically for her pleasure (she was trying to hold him all night and he didn’t want her). That’s why I said he wants one of us, it was maybe her third time seeing him in six months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793468 Mon, 25 Dec 2017 20:49:01 +0000 erinbaderin 2793468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, this sounds like she was being considerate and trying to give you some time with both hands free, especially since she was asking what the problem was. You were totally within your rights to say “oh, he’s just going through some stranger anxiety” and take him back but I don’t think she was being inconsiderate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793467 Mon, 25 Dec 2017 20:14:53 +0000 Synchronicity 2793467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: thisss. My two month old was super fussy at fam Christmas because everyone kept passing her around like a doll, she wasn't napping and her eating schedule was completely thrown off. I got comments like "wow, she's certainly not an easy baby!" or "[SILs kid] was so much more relaxed than her!" 🙄🖕 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793464 Mon, 25 Dec 2017 18:41:05 +0000 MsBAM 2793464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Oh I know. I feel like saying he never acts like this when he’s just with us :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793461 Mon, 25 Dec 2017 15:00:16 +0000 Foodnerd81 2793461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: frustrating! It also bugs me when people assume their behavior at a big holiday meal with lots of people and stuff going on is their normal behavior. Sometimes they get overwhelmed and just need mom or dad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inconsiderate-family-member-at-christmas#post-2793459 Mon, 25 Dec 2017 14:39:02 +0000 MsBAM 2793459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hey all,</p> <p>Yesterday we had my side come over for Xmas. LO usually cries when others hold him and needs time to warm up. My aunt was holding him after she ate dinner and he was crying. She kept saying, oh what’s the matter, is this wrong is that wrong etc. I said he wants one of us (meaning my husband or myself) and she rudely said, “oh please eat your dinner!” .... ummm pretty sure it’s my child and he clearly doesn’t want you :P I hate when people think they can make your child better when you know you can make them all better just by holding them!!! </p>