https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 03:13:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1193195 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 01:53:39 +0000 erwoo 1193195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: @T-Mom: @luckypenny: @sunny: @Kimberlybee: @BoogieBea: @shopaholic: @mynoahbear: @Andrea: @looch: @Foodnerd81: @locavore_mama: @Mrs. Jacks: @MamaBehr: </p> <p>I'm so sorry it's taking me so long to respond back to all of you. Our sea shipment (or HHG as they call it) arrived a week ago and our place is such a huuuge mess. Then my oldest caught some stomach virus so he's been home since last Thursday. And my husband left for Hawaii for work for a week this morning. He sucks. :P It's never-ending! LOL! I promise that I will respond back once I find a little bit more time. Thank you all for listening to me vent. I promise you that one day I will post about the positives of our move. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1173583 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 21:45:24 +0000 erwoo 1173583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: Thanks! I feel lucky my husband doesn't work such long hours but he does travel a lot when he does have to travel. Shortly after we moved here he traveled every week for 2-3 days each week so that made it harder for me since I was already exhausted from having both kids for 3 months straight. Luckily, his travels has slowed down for now.</p> <p>We do have family nearby (my brother) but it was hard to ask him for help b/c he also has two kids our kids' ages and having HFM it's hard to have them watch my youngest since I wasn't sure if he caught it. We actually recently just hired a helper to come once a week to clean our place and cook some food for us to last a couple of days. It has been nice. We're also in the middle of hiring a live-in helper but that process is taking much longer than we expected; but I'm sure once she's here and settled things will get better. I just need to tough it out a little while longer. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144774 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 08:06:57 +0000 MamaBehr 1144774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. That is so much to handle and I can't imagine having to do it for that long by yourself. I hope that you get the much needed and deserved break soon and that your husband can just take a day or two off to give it to you. I can only imagine how overwhelming it must all be (you forgot to mention how you are coping with a new country and culture, I bet that isn't easy either). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144698 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 07:30:15 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1144698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So much to handle. I was going to suggest a nanny situation, but it sounds like you are working on that. If it makes you feel better, my girls just finished with a nasty case of Coxsackie too and I was the only parent who told the school as well... So the grass isn't always greener! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144695 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 07:28:48 +0000 regberadaisy 1144695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First, glad you're there safely. </p> <p>Second my lo just got over HFM and she got it from another kid in the toddler room. When she was in the infant room last year a few babies got it and luckily she didn't. so it's actually very common here in the US as well. I'd imagine the other parents didn't tell because they are afraid of missing work. Just how the Chinese mentality. </p> <p>Third. Live in help, housekeeper, etc is VERY cheap in Asia. You should look into it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144689 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 07:27:39 +0000 Foodnerd81 1144689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have every reason to be burnt out! I was just complaining about how stretched and burnt out I feel with one Lo in my home country with Dh working normal hours. It's amazing everything you have done in the last four months, of course you have reached your breaking point. I don't have any advice to offer but vent away! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144678 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 07:17:47 +0000 looch 1144678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never lived in Asia, but I did live abroad and it's tough no matter how you slice it.</p> <p>What about seeing if you can find an expat listserve or email group to get some recs for help? That's what my collegues in Singapore do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144673 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 07:14:38 +0000 Andrea 1144673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Vent away! I moved abroad and it was soooo hard to adjust and I had no kids. Trying to figure stuff out with kids must be crazy tough. I hope you will find some live-in help sooooooon!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144617 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 06:20:27 +0000 mynoahbear 1144617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry it's been so rough. I'm a fellow SAHM in Asia too. When we first moved to Asia, it was just DH and me, and even then, it took me a good 3-6 months to adjust. This last move within Asia has been the hardest though. We moved here to Beijing with LO almost a year ago. I think this has been the hardest because of where we are...Beijing is not the easiest place to live, so I definitely understand where you are coming from. Hang in there and I hope, it gets easier soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144487 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 00:47:18 +0000 shopaholic 1144487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>{{{HUGS}}} Oh mama! I feel for you. You are doing an amazing job! Do you have any family there that can just help give you a break? I remember reading about your solo parenting and your trip - you are superwoman! I feel like my sleep troubles are so small in comparison. You're right though. Your DH will say he understands, but he can't get the full scope of it. My DH is the same way. Unless they live your shoes for a week or so.<br /> I am sure so many of the parents won't cop to what their LOs have just so they can still send them to school. Shame and not wanting to figure out child care for keeping them at home. It just sucks there can't be more forthright and responsible parenting for the sake of everyone's well-being. Hope LO gets better soon and you get some much-deserved down time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144472 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 00:09:03 +0000 BoogieBea 1144472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are doing a great job! We've lived in asia for a little while and the first several months was so hard to adjust. And it was just the two of us. I can't imagine what it would have been like with 2 young ones. I hope things get better once the dust settles. I hope you find some help soon! Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144469 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 00:03:24 +0000 Kimberlybee 1144469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hang in there. It should get better once you have a routine with good help too. Moving locally is pretty stressful and here you are moving to another country, you get to vent all you want! Hope brighter days are around the corner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144468 Fri, 11 Oct 2013 00:00:57 +0000 sunny 1144468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Omg you poor thing! That sounds completely exhausting. You have ever right to be burned out and upset. </p> <p>I hope you're able to find a helper soon and regain some of your sanity! Do you have relatives around? Is there any way for your parents or in-laws to take one of your boys for a few hours once they are well? It will probably be more manageable with just 1 of them so there is no fighting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144464 Thu, 10 Oct 2013 23:56:00 +0000 luckypenny 1144464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dang Mama! You are SUPERWOMAN!!! I've had a sick babe for 2 days (and I'm talking mildly sick but with lots of night wakings) and I've cried more than once. </p> <p>Being a mom is hard work and sometimes you gotta do whatever you can to survive :) Hang in there!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144448 Thu, 10 Oct 2013 23:27:57 +0000 T-Mom 1144448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You poor thing. You are doing great. So much to handle all your own. I have heard from my SIL how hard it is to hire help in Asia. Sometimes it only seems to just add more trouble when it is really supposed to be helping! Hang in there.. Lots of good thoughts coming your way.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144444 Thu, 10 Oct 2013 23:20:37 +0000 Freckles 1144444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh hun, i'm so sorry. :( I also hate parents who don't report any illnesses their kids have. Makes me so mad!</p> <p>I can't imagine how burnt out you are. I hope things get better for you soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144442 Thu, 10 Oct 2013 23:19:57 +0000 HLK208 1144442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs! </p> <p>Gosh, you're stronger than I am. You have the right to let it all out. Solo parenting is so exhausting with two. Really. So freaking exhausting. DH isn't gone as much as yours but he usually works 70-80 hours a week and I'm usually alone for all of the LO's awake time. So I can sympathize but not to the extent that you've had to go through - that is rough ESPECIAllY with DS1 sick and living in a new country. </p> <p>After this nasty sickness is gone (hopefully soon) is there family that can help at all? I feel like my days get so much crazier when the LO's are sick, tired or adjusting to big changes. It's a big possibility that the move could be contributing to the whining? I hope everything settles down soon! I also hope your LO gets better and your second doesn't catch it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infuriated-at-the-situation-im-in-warning-vent-coming#post-1144428 Thu, 10 Oct 2013 23:07:08 +0000 erwoo 1144428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Couldn't figure out the right board to put it on so it's "preschooler" it is. Anyway, this is more a vent if anything. So my 4-year-old just started a new Montessori preschool in a new country 1.5 weeks ago and a week into it (first week being very part time) he has hand-foot-mouth disease. Ugh! Luckily, he only has it in his throat and it's just little white dots but, still, I feel like some parents aren't doing their job in telling the school what their kids have so now I feel like my son is the ONLY one who has it when I know of 3 other cases just days before he started his fever and sore throat. They have procedures to follow when a student is diagnosed with the illness. I have to take him to see the doctor to confirm that's what he has and I have to get a note for the school saying that's what he has and that he is good to go back. His school says that if there is enough cases (3) they will shut the class or school down. I still can't figure out which it was they said b/c some of the terms they use in Chinese is confusing to me still. Last week my brother told me my nephew had it; and then this past Monday my son's classmate's mom calls me to tell me that her twin sons have it as well. One of her twins is in my son's class and the other is in my nephew's class. And we haven't been anywhere else besides school last week. </p> <p>So here is my frustration, I wonder if some parents are afraid to tell the school that their child has it b/c I just got off the phone with my son's teacher and she said that there are no other cases reported. HUH?! I thought my sister-in-law had told the school about my nephew. Even my brother said that he had it and that the school knows and he won't lie about it. So this makes me wonder if other parents are just not reporting it and just saying it's a sore throat. That is just so wrong if you ask me. It's a highly contagious illness and is very common in this part of the world in the summer and early fall times. I think it's due to the weather and the high population here. The good thing from what another ex-pat mom told me the other day is that kids from the U.S. don't get it as bad b/c their immune system is stronger. People here in Asia wear masks and use hand sanitizers all the time so when they do get it it's worse b/c their immune system isn't as strong. I guess that's why my son only has it in his throat and it's just white dots versus big sores. </p> <p>So here I am, stuck in the house with both of my boys and my 18-month-old probably has it now. I'm just waiting for the symptoms now. I'm exhausted. I'm crabby all the time now. I can be such a bitch to my husband. I am just burnt out being a SAHM without any help except for when my husband is home and that's if he's not travelling, working at home at night, or on the phone or at our neighbors' at 7pm b/c they have a conference call with people in the U.S. Three months of single parenting while doing the pack out to Asia and then another month of it off and on after moving to Asia... I'm just extremely burnt out. My husband can't seem to understand even if he says he can and I know he's trying but I don't think he can fully understand unless he's in my shoes. I had one maybe two days of "me time" and that's only for maybe like 3 hours each time since moving here. He'll help take care of the kids on the weekends but I feel like I need more. We are in the middle of hiring a live-in help but that process is taking much, much longer than I expected. We had to start the process over b/c our original helper's husband didn't want her to come back. Okay, so then we started over...and hopefully in another two months I will finally get more help. In the mean time we are only able to find someone to come for 4 hours a week for one day. I guess that's better than nothing.</p> <p>Maybe it's the expectation of being able to get a live-in help that's making me feel like I need help. I don't know, but at the same time having to take care of two kids full-time for practically 4 months has just burnt me out. And I think this illness finally just pushed me over the edge. It's been SO hard trying to separate the kids and the constant sanitizing is driving me insane. It's just impossible to keep the boys apart and not having any exchange of bodily fluid (saliva) between the two. My oldest just spit on his little brother this morning which resulted in a time-out for him WHICH was not fun for everyone. And this is in addition to having to make 5 meals a day for the kids, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, and washing the dishes, bottles, etc. Oh, and I forgot to mention how whiny my youngest is. And my oldest has started to cry over every little thing too. So multiple times a day all I hear is whining and crying and both are usually due to them fighting over a toy, even if one of them wasn't even playing with it to begin with. Sometimes I just let them have at it and I walk away to let them deal with it. Because if I get involved someone will go to time out and a toy will be taken away.</p> <p>Sorry I was all over the place. Thanks for taking time to read my long vent. Hopefully, one of these days I can tell you how my camera got stolen by an employee from 1 of the 3 moving companies that came to our house during our pack out in the U.S. and also what a perfect little boy my oldest was during our 25-hour plane ride over here with my youngest and our dog all together on the plane with just me. :) </p>