https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 22 Jun 2026 00:05:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-87526 Tue, 06 Mar 2012 13:23:29 +0000 tequiero21 87526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'm with @lozza - drop the friendship.</p> <p>sorry, no real input here though, my hubby doesn't really have any close friends that he still keeps in touch with, let alone close girlfriends (he lost touch with everyone since he's been so busy with work and me).... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-87316 Tue, 06 Mar 2012 10:26:27 +0000 umlo 87316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cupcakemama: thanks for the support. This was a long time coming. I was hoping to just give it the good college try and overlook it. But it became very clear to me the past few months that she is a bit off. The sad thing is she's married but still continues this behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-87219 Tue, 06 Mar 2012 00:49:39 +0000 cupcakemama 87219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@umlo: uggh. You do not need her. I don't care if she's known him longer you are his wife therefore the winner in any lamo, juvenile competition. I can't stand girls that don't respect the marriage of others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-87142 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 19:27:28 +0000 umlo 87142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eiko2010: see if she had your technique, then we'd have no problem. :) I think she lacks the respect that I'm DHs wife because after all these years, she makes it a point that she knows him longer, knows his whole world, etc. she even goes to tell me that she knows how he sleeps! I think she definitely had a thing for him but DH is clueless to if she did. Lol</p> <p>@cupcakemama: yeah, she doesn't have the best reputation among the circle of friends. Most of the women do not like her because she tends to cling onto the hubbies and she is aware of it but chalks it up to saying shes a guys gal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-87134 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 19:09:25 +0000 cupcakemama 87134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH's best friend was a girl. She is awesome, a great friend to DH and a nice person. We don't do stuff together, mainly because we are busy. She is more DH's friend.</p> <p>This girl of yours (or not) sounds wacko, in a socially delusional way. Cut her loose! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-87131 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 18:56:25 +0000 littlebug 87131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hubs didn't have any female friends, but lots of close guy friends. They've all become my friends now, and I get along well with most of their wives. I have been invited to baby showers and stuff, which I found really sweet. </p> <p>Speaking as someone who IS best friends with a guy (an ex-boyfriend, actually), I can tell you that being the bff when a new girl comes in to the picture is kind of intimidating. But I always let them develop their relationship and never tried to interfere or butt in, unless he asked me to. And while I love my bff's wife, I have never attempted to interject myself into her life. We get along well, but I don't want to make her feel like she HAS to hang out with me just because her husband is my bff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-87050 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 16:35:12 +0000 Modern Daisy 87050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH was not friends with any girls, but I did become friends with his best friends wives/girlfriends. Not like let's call each other and hang out every weekend friends, but I've gone to their showers, bach parties, birthday parties, etc. </p> <p>I would definitely distance myself from this girl if I were you. For whatever reason she thinks she's your DH's best friend and that just isn't the case, so she needs to be shown that through both of your actions. It's harder to stir up drama if you've been distanced from someone, so I think that will work. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-87048 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 16:30:20 +0000 umlo 87048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for your thoughts everyone. Reading your experiences, etc. helped me realize that what I'm leaning towards is the right decision. I tried my best but she did cross many boundaries, which my other inherited friendships didn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-86859 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 10:42:53 +0000 yoursilverlining 86859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband’s best friend (of over 20 years) is female so I “inherited” her. From the beginning of our relationship I knew that she wasn’t going anywhere and was very important to my husband. She and I are friends, but we’ll never be as close as she and my husband, because they were friends first. We also live 3k miles apart, so there’s never really cause for she and I to go out just the two of us although when we visit she and I will go shopping or get pedicures alone. She and I get along great, and I think she’s a fantastic person and friend!</p> <p>In your situation, it’s different because it doesn’t sound like your husband is really close friends with the girl in question. If he doesn’t trust her or really like her, you might both just look for a way to amicably end the friendship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-86826 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 09:42:16 +0000 mrsjyw 86826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh didn't have any girl friends, the only girls friends I inherited are wives/gfs of DH's male friends. I've luckily gotten along with a lot of them and actually still stayed in touch with one that is no longer a gf!</p> <p>I know DH's best friend's wife was in your exact situation, the female thought they were closer than what her husband thougth of their friendship. The female def would cross boundaries and impose herself onto DH's best friend as if she was more important than his wife. </p> <p>She's played the "bigger person" role and the female has naturally turned into an acquaintance as DH's best friend slowly ended her delusion of the friendship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-86812 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 09:12:18 +0000 heffalump 86812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm friendly with my husband's girl friends, but I'm not bff's with any of them. We only hang out when my husband is there. They're his friends, not mine. </p> <p>I feel like for your situation it would just be easier to stop being friends with her. Neither you or your husband seem to like her anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-86808 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 09:05:49 +0000 anewme 86808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH had one girl that was his friend and I use the word friend loosely because she thought way more of him then he of her. He knew her for a long time but was always closer to her family than her but because he would always hang out with her family she was there. It's also the worst kept secret that she Is so into him but whatever. She's always been nice to me and we have gotten closer through the years, it's hard to imagine that once she was more DHs friend than mine.</p> <p>But if I was in your situation I really wouldn't care less because it sounds like she doesnt mean to much to your DH life. Why stress yourself out? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-86796 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 08:38:21 +0000 chopsuey 86796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH didn't have any gal pals before we got married. He has a handful of really close guy friends though. All the guys are like brothers to me now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-86795 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 07:44:39 +0000 Lozza 86795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So if I understand this correctly, neither you nor your husband are particularly attached to this girl, and she is a bother? I say drop the friendship. Don't make plans with her, don't call her, if she tries to talk about it just say you've got other things going on.<br /> DH and I feel like we're too old and have too much going on (esp. with LO now) to bother with people that we don't actively really, really like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-86791 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 07:39:37 +0000 Rubies 86791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, wow. Sounds like some drams. I inherited all of hubs' friends and they were all nice to me - they tell me that I'm the only 'outsider' they actually got along with! Anyway, this girl sounds a bit much. I would keep my distance but still be friendly to her (in group settings, when you see her, etc.) but I wouldn't go out of my way to be extra friendly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/inherited-friendships-dhs-girl-friends-help#post-86770 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 01:30:39 +0000 umlo 86770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How many of you have acquired your husband's friendships of the opposite sex (aka. his girl friends). Have you had any successful "transitions"?</p> <p>I have had some success in several friendships but there is one in particular that just seems a bit too much for me these days. I think mostly due in part to false expectations of what she wanted in me b/c of her friendship with DH (she thought of him as a best friend/brother, he thought of her as a borderline acquaintance/friend). When I married DH, she told me that whomever he married, i would be their best friend and to be honest, it threw me off. And I'm feeling a bit badly since I am unable to fulfill her "expectation" because in short, DH doesn't like her at all because of her behavior and pettiness and he doesn't want me to confide in her at all. So because I am surface level with her, she resorts to petty drama, etc. Just wondering if you all had similar situations and advice on what I should do. </p>