https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 16:21:16 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1091259 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 20:44:02 +0000 Mrs. Pink 1091259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am in the "technically don't have kids yet, so I shouldn't comment" spot right now but I feel like there is a huge difference between a baby/toddler who is having a meltdown and a kid who is running WILD in the store and being obnoxious... I absolutely catch myself judging people whose kids are not simply upset/tired but are literally running around the store/doctors office waiting room or carrying on in the restaurant like they're at the park... huge pet peeve.... but usually it's quiet judging... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090940 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 17:54:55 +0000 Arden 1090940@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I don't think the author had disdain for "parents who had done things differently", he had it for those who CRITISISE others. There is a big difference. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090882 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 17:04:26 +0000 Mae 1090882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: I feel like people think I'm defending the rude dude and I'm totally not. I was only making a comment about the seemingly total disdain the author had for the opinions of anyone with grown children who might have done things differently. And in any case, I think the train is obviously a different situation. You've got to get from place A to B. Public transportation is an absolute necessity that can't really be avoided or scheduled to meet your LO's schedule of course. It's sort of like babies on an airplane. No one WANTS to be next to a baby on an airplane, but at the same time I think most people realize that there is nothing that the parent can really do to make this situation better and its really just best to try to tune out have a bit of empathy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090873 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 16:58:33 +0000 Freckles 1090873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: In general, my 17 month old toddler is pretty well-behaved. I give her the death stare and she knows exactly when i mean business. I am very aware of her schedule and try to avoid bad situations. But any previous judgement i passed ALL goes out the window when i had an overtired toddler break down in the middle of the train after picking her up from daycare. Should i have driven instead so as not to inconvenience my fellow passengers?</p> <p>I think a lot of it is lack of memory. I find a lot of older parents are probably thinking about how they disciplined their kids as an 18 month old when it was really as a 5 year old. Like what @Mrs. Jump Rope said, when you're under 2 you can't verbalize your frustrations and i find it counterproductive responding with scolding/anger. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090786 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 16:14:15 +0000 Pepper 1090786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: C also just had a major meltdown at Target, right after I read this article! </p> <p>I love the post. Nobody likes to hear screaming, but that's not even on my top 5 list of things I hate when I'm at a store. People who scream into their cell phones, people who are blatantly rude to retail employees, people who make a mess and don't clean it up, etc. I'd rather these people stay home than a mom and a cranky 2 year old! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090691 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 15:28:16 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1090691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ill have to find the article, but there was a lot of controversy in the recent past because a local restaurant would no longer allow children inside because they were noisy. </p> <p>I'm not a fan of screaming kids in general. Of course, that means mine has a high pitched shriek that she's mastered to perfection &amp; can wail like a champ... And it's almost always in the most inconvenient of times and places, like when I'm on the phone with someone super important.</p> <p>At her age (almost two) we can usually figure out what's causing the tantrums. She has a major case of "why are you on the phone and not paying attention to mes" and "OMG I must have goldfish crackers nowwwwww" if we're at the grocery store. And how could I forget the famous "I am so tired but refuse to go to sleep tantrum!!!!"</p> <p>She's 2, not 7. She can't verbalize her emotions yet so we have to deal with the tantrums. Like everything else, its a phase. It's also our job as parents to teach her right from wrong, and I'm totally the mom with the death stare in aisle 5 when the goldfish war happens. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090674 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 15:23:50 +0000 cascademom 1090674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great blog post. We've been taking LO to more public, social places, so tantrums are brewing. We attended a birthday party last weekend. LO had a meltdown right around cake time because he was eating, playing, and overtired. We went into the women's bathroom and changed him, all was well. One of my friend's friend said something interesting to us. She said, "You tune out or are no longer bothered by other kids having tantrums in public when you have kids." It was so true. She didn't even notice LO's meltdown when we talked to her. My friend noticed because she was in party mode. At Target twice in one weekend, we were aware of kids having tantrums, but didn't really notice.</p> <p>I agree about the older parents thing. My mom acknowledges how bad we were and could be. My MIL instead has such a warped view of DH's childhood that I don't think I've heard her mention tantrums, etc. ever. I feel like I need to write down a list on how to act when my LO and future sibling have kids, so I don't become like the judging older parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090668 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 15:20:20 +0000 Meltini 1090668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not going to lie, I HATE the sound of a kid screaming in a store. HATE IT! But, I would never be so rude as to say something to the mom. I just do my best to ignore the situation and continue with what I am doing. I definitey get what Mae is saying but I get what everyone else is saying too. I think it all depends on the age of the child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090667 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 15:20:16 +0000 Mae 1090667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: I think my parents are aware that there are special circumstances where it is unavoidable. And also, they're not rude people so they would never do what the guy in the article did and say anything to/near the person. I think everyone can probably (hopefully!) agree that regardless of your opinion, keeping it to yourself in these situations is obviously the tactful way to go. That being said, I think my parents' frustration that they express amongst themselves (and to me) is that they know how they raised us, which was generally to keep from imposing us on others as much as humanly possible. And they made all efforts to keep us out of public when there was any chance of an issue. And they also had the death stare thing going. They see that as very different from how they see my cousins raising their kids, and people in public in general now-- where our generation seems to feel more like kids will be kids, and we're not going to be too concerned about them freaking out in public because it is what they do. And especially in restaurants (their primary pet peeve. Mine as well as I was a server). My only real point in bringing this up/agreeing with Mrsbells is that I can see the point of view of the "older parents" the guy roundly dismisses. Because I do think that sometimes it is not a lack of memory but rather a different philosophy that led to different experiences. And they are entitled to their opinion (so long as they keep it to themselves). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090661 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 15:18:07 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1090661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved this! I shared it on FB just so my young and single cousin could read it and stop commenting on parents that need to say no to their kids *eye roll*. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090660 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 15:17:29 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1090660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskc: @Mrs. Yoyo: I actually LOLed at that part! It's.So.True. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090653 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 15:15:10 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 1090653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskc: That was my favorite part too :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090647 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 15:13:28 +0000 littlek 1090647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: I hear you. A few weeks ago LO had a total meltdown at the checkout counter. I could totally see myself being judged, but what was I supposed to do? Leave my groceries while they are on the checkout belt? People need to realize that they are toddlers or babies and you can't control their behavior all the time. Especially a child under the age of 3. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090638 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 15:11:25 +0000 littlek 1090638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: That's great that was a possibility in your family. But that's not possible for all families. My DH works a TON and if I waited on him to be home to watch LO so I could go grocery shopping we would never have food. Also, what about single parents? Or parents whose significant others are deployed? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090603 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 15:01:13 +0000 Crisark 1090603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LOVE! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090600 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:58:34 +0000 Mae 1090600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: I'm not saying she was wrong. I'm just saying-- some people have different views on these things which I don't necessarily think are wrong either (probably especially because I was raised that way). My mom shopped every Saturday morning and my dad watched us. If she needed something during the week my dad got it on his way home from work. She never took us to the grocery store until we were older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090594 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:55:43 +0000 Littlebit 1090594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: I agree. I was scared sh!tless of my mother and NEVER threw a fit in public. But I understand other mothers aren't quite as terrifying ;) That was also at a certain age (3+)...I obviously didn't know better as a small child/baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090592 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:55:41 +0000 Foodnerd81 1090592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: well, what is the family going to eat if they don't get the groceries? They weren't out for a leasurely meal at a steak house (in which case yeah, it would be inappropriate to have a toddler meltdown) they were getting staples to eat. </p> <p>I'm probably just extra sensitive after my grocery store experience ten minutes ago. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090589 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:54:24 +0000 looch 1090589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: It is not about inconveniencing the parent, it is about not giving in to what your child wants, which is either something off the shelves or to leave the store. If your kid just wants to leave and they throw a fit and you leave, you've taught them that's the technique they should use to get out of the store ASAP. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090587 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:52:56 +0000 Foodnerd81 1090587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Perfect timing as I just got back from te grocery store where my 7 week old decided to have a total meltdown. At least 3 people said something alig the lines of "Oh she's MAD at something!" One person helped me by putting my few items on the counter, without comment about the screaming. Good for this blog writer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090573 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:50:17 +0000 Mae 1090573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: Agree. I think my parents are sort of those people they talk about in the article that are older with grown children who judge people whose kids melt down in public. That just didn't happen for them (or rather, when it did they shut it down FAST). My parents didn't believe in taking us out to non-children's restaurants (i.e. anything except fast food or like, pizza hut) until we were old enough to sit quietly. And I can remember (vaguely) being a little kid and starting to melt down in a store and my mom would just pick me up and leave immediately. I think it is sort of just a different philosophy than most people have now. She sort of felt that kids must behave in public and if they weren't behaving you take them out of public ASAP regardless of personal inconvenience. The tone of the article was more: Meh kids melt down so why not in public too? Better the mom not be inconvenienced by leaving than worry about disturbing those around her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090551 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:44:29 +0000 babycanuck 1090551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is fantastic. Totally bookmarking his blog. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090545 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:42:42 +0000 Mrsbells 1090545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like the post, it makes a good point</p> <p>However I will add that I never threw a tantrum in public nor did any of my siblings, my dad would give us that look that and we didnt dare act out, so I do think it is possible to control older children (over 3) in public </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090540 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:39:25 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1090540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>great post! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090524 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:33:55 +0000 looch 1090524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it just goes to show you that you never fully know and you should be really careful in what you say. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090515 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:31:43 +0000 wonderstruck 1090515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great post! And I totally agree about the older generation too - the other day my LO (who is 4 months old) was having a meltdown because we were at a family get-together and he was overstimulated and having a lot of trouble going down for a nap. My grandma exclaimed (several times), "I've never heard a baby scream like that!" Really, grandma? You had four children and have never heard a baby screaming? Luckily, my grandpa was also there and told her that she either has a terrible memory or selective hearing! Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090492 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:26:15 +0000 MsLipGloss 1090492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart:</p> <p>ETA: The comments are great, too . . . especially the one that states that parenting isn't about controlling your children, it's about teaching them. :fistpump: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090470 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:19:28 +0000 Smurfette 1090470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>love it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090465 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:16:47 +0000 edelweiss 1090465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i like that this is written by a dad--shows that men and women can support each other (since the typical image is of a mom with a screaming child). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/interesting-blog-post-about-non-parents-judging#post-1090453 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:13:34 +0000 mrskc 1090453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>haha love it! </p> <p>I love this part:<br /> "I always love the older folks who lecture about how THEIR kids weren’t as “attached to electronics” as kids are nowadays. That’s probably true, but mainly because, well, YOU DIDN’T HAVE ELECTRONICS. You had a toaster and a black and white TV with 2 channels, both of which were pretty easy to regulate. But, sure, congratulations for not letting your kids use things that didn’t exist. On that note, I have a strict “no time machines or hover-boards” policy in my home. It is stringently enforced. I’m thinking of writing a parenting book: “How to Stop Your Child From Becoming Dependent Upon Technology That Isn’t Invented Yet”" </p>