https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 23:11:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-748877 Sun, 28 Apr 2013 09:15:43 +0000 Crisark 748877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: :)<br /> @tysonja: Great points!! I didn't even factor in all of that as well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-748351 Sat, 27 Apr 2013 17:43:35 +0000 tysonja 748351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pumpkinspice: in your situation, i know that we would have done the same thing. i really do think that if one parent desires to stay at home with the child, it really is priceless, and at very least, worth 400$ a month :). of course many moms and dads function better as WOHM/D's but for those of us who really desire to be at home with the LO's, it's totally worth it. </p> <p>also, i noticed that since i stay at home and can do things around the house like clean, cook, do errands/bookkeeping and grocery shopping, it actually frees up a LOT of extra time in the evenings and weekends for us to relax as a family. it's definitely a nice extra perk, and something to factor in when thinking about the 400$ 'loss'. time is monneeeyyy! hehe </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-748267 Sat, 27 Apr 2013 16:31:50 +0000 Smurfette 748267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pumpkinspice: Glad y'all made a decision. Good luck to your DH. Lucky LO gets to stay home with their Dad!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-748230 Sat, 27 Apr 2013 15:48:08 +0000 Crisark 748230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you to everyone for your responses. I really appreciate them all.<br /> I do believe the best decision for our family is probably going to be for DH to give a go at staying home.<br /> He can always go back if it doesn't work for him or us as a family.<br /> $400 is a good bit of money but in the grand scheme of things I think the benefits out way the need for the extra money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747705 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 22:19:09 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 747705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you want, I can put him in touch with Mr. Jacks who was a SAHD for 2 years. He's working full-time now and though it probably set him back a little on earnings potential, he's rapidly catching up now. I'd be happy to put him in touch. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747700 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 22:15:40 +0000 Bookish 747700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I guess I have a different view, because 400$ a month is a huge amount of money to my family, and is right about the amount of my take home pay after you consider day care costs, and it pays our bills. But, your family may be able to handle the loss of that money with little issue, and that's great. I think the most important thing is for you both to be on board with whatever decision you make. I agree with the previous posters that as long as you both have the same expectations and end goals in sight, you should be golden :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747621 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 20:53:49 +0000 immabeetoo 747621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pumpkinspice: I think it's normal to be nervous about being the sole income earner. I didn't read all your responses, but I think if DH and I were in the same scenario he'd love to stay at home and it would cause resentment from him if I asked him to continue working.</p> <p>I don't think the decision to work or stay at home can ever be viewed just in monetary terms because there is so much more wrapped into it. </p> <p>Maybe he could talk to his employer about very part-time or contracting work to keep his foot in the door and a little extra cash flow?</p> <p>Good luck making your decision :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747609 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 20:47:36 +0000 T.H.O.U. 747609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you've gotten some advice here about his career. </p> <p>One other thing to think about is the role that you both envision for a SAHD. Do you expect him to schedule the kids appointments. Or will you schedule and he take them? Who will handle household chores? What about bill pay? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747593 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 20:39:56 +0000 Mrs. Pen 747593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally it depends on what you being home. I was a sahm but we struggled with just my husbands income, and I wasn't happy as a sahm. I don't make a ton and to some what I bring home after child care might be seen as measly and not worth it. But this job is more than a paycheck. Although the paycheck IS helping a lot (and I see a lot of room for growth at my company), I value what I do and my interactions with people. I appreciate my time with my son more and it makes me a better mom.</p> <p>Your husband has to choose what's best for him. I knows husband would be a SAHD in a heart beat if I made enough and if he knew I was 100% ok with being the bread winner.</p> <p>Don't view who supports the family in a financial manner and then you may feel "equal". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747528 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:29:44 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 747528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally wouldn't think $400 is worth sending the kids to daycare, especially if your husband is offering and more than willing to give up his current job to stay home with them! </p> <p>IF he was reluctant, then I would probably send them to prevent the feelings of resentment. I think it's important that he feels like he's contributing, whether it's him working or staying at home. </p> <p>I would do whatever is best for your marriage and do whatever it takes to guard that first. Sending kids to daycare wouldn't be the end of the world, but it seems like your husband really doesn't mind staying home. Since it's his choice and he wants to do it, I say why not give it a go! He has no right to resent you because you're not forcing him to do anything, but that's great that you're thinking ahead! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747526 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:28:34 +0000 Crisark 747526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: thank you for your input I appreciate it!@Ree723: I am really starting to think we are going to try it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747513 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:17:22 +0000 Ree723 747513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If he's happy to do it, I'd say give it a try! $400 is nothing in the grand scheme of things and if it means your children can be with one of their parents all day, rather than in a day care setting, I think it's totally worth it. I hear what you're saying on feeling the burden of being the sole provider, but if all benefits are currently coming through you anyway, it's really not that different. If you lost your job, you would still be in a pickle re health care etc, even if your husband was still working. </p> <p>I think it would be one thing if your husband wasn't willing to do it as I'd worry about resentment etc, but it sounds like he's completely on board so I say give it a shot! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747506 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:12:06 +0000 littlek 747506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally would not want the stress of being the sole income provider, but that's just me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747504 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:10:54 +0000 Crisark 747504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TurtleDoves: I think that makes perfect sense. And I'm a lot like your husband so I can really understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747502 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:09:32 +0000 Crisark 747502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all so much for your thoughts on this. I really appreciate it a lot! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747501 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:09:26 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 747501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it were me staying home, I'd do it in a heart-beat for a difference of a measly $400.<br /> BUT-Knowing my husband, he is the type of man that needs to leave and that $$ and have interactions with adults and feel like a financial contributor in order to maintain his sanity/happiness.<br /> I think he'd go to work even if we pretty much broke even at the end of the day :/<br /> He would want me to stay if it were the other way around, but, based on my personality, i'd be happy to.<br /> Double standard? Maybe? But, let's base things off personality and realistic situations rather than an umbrella rule. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747500 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:08:15 +0000 Crisark 747500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure if a verbal agreement like that would ease my mind or not. I think its the fear of the unknown and there isn't much I can do about that unfortunately. I mean, I've been providing most of the income all along but him not bringing anything in at all just makes me nervous but I imagine thats normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747489 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 18:55:26 +0000 Smurfette 747489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If he is willing to try it, then go for it. He can always go back if he finds he doesn't like it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747485 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 18:51:54 +0000 Anagram 747485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If your husband is confident his job would take him back, and you don't need that extra 400 a month, then I totally think you should go for it! If it ends up not working after 6 months or so, you can always change it up and try day care again. If I were the breadwinner, I'd totally give this a shot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747468 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 18:27:47 +0000 Honeybee 747468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my husband had similar concerns when we decided that I would stay home for a while. Our compromise was that I would only be home for a set amount of time. We figured I would be home for 3 years at the most, although now I'm thinking I'll start looking for a job this fall/winter, so I'll hopefully only be out of work for 2 years total. Would a compromise like that ease your worries at all? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747455 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 18:11:50 +0000 Foodnerd81 747455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It really depends. I'm in a similar position-- after daycare, I'd be bringing home only a couple hundred dollars a month, and for me, personally, that's not worth it. But I really really want to stay home, so the small financial different actually made the decision easier for me. But I also want to go into a different field when I go back to work, so being out of my field for a few years won't put me back so much, where for DH, it would be pretty harmful for his career. It sounds like his job wouldn't take a big hit by being out for a while, but it also sounds like it would be really stressful for you. Is there any way he can cut back his hours so you are less the sole provider, but you can have the kids in daycare a little bit less? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747454 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 18:10:50 +0000 Crisark 747454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shopaholic: def good points! His industry wouldn't do much that he couldn't come back to. @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I'm a worrier by nature so the unknown scare me but we want what's best for our children and it really seems like its the right thing to do.@yoursilverlining: All benefits go through me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747446 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:54:19 +0000 yoursilverlining 747446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think one partner staying at home really only works if BOTH people are 100% on board. Like you, I would NOT want the stress of being the sole provider on my shoulders. Does he receive employee benefits (health care, etc.?) Does he receive any 401(k) contributions from his employer? If so, then you really need to factor all those in as well; because it won't just be $400/month you guys are giving up. </p> <p>I think its hard when one person really wants to stay home. It does put a lot of stress on the other parent. Is there any way he can take a couple of weeks off from his job and do a test-run of staying at home? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747442 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:49:37 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 747442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>$400 isn't alot, so I understand the temptation to have your husband stay at home. For me, I wouldn't want the burden of being the sole pay check in the house. Full disclosure: I grew up with a SAHD after he was laid off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747441 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:49:33 +0000 shopaholic 747441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What @MungBean: said. In my industry/profession and city I live in, the cost difference of daycare vs. work is similar to your DH's situation. For me, it is a no-brainer, I'd rather stay at home. I don't know if it's a double-standard, but I do think future employers might question his gap in employment more so for a man. And it also depends on the industry. i.e. DH's industry is constantly evolving, changing, and requiring continuing education and hours. If he took a year or two off, he'd have a lot of catching up to do. My industry is heavily populated by women and employers wouldn't usually think it's negative to take time off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747436 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:42:16 +0000 Crisark 747436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MungBean: very good points. A bit more details, he is currently working a retail type job and if he were to leave on good terms and decided to go back I'm confident they would take him back. He also receives disability for his vision impairment so he will still be contributing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747435 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:39:30 +0000 Crisark 747435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: He has been wanting to do it this way since I got pregnant but I think it was always just a fantasy to me. Now that I've actually looked at the figures I can't quite pull the trigger cause I'm scared I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747433 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:36:27 +0000 pinkcupcake 747433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally don't think $400/ month is enough to put my baby in daycare but I think there other considerations as well. Will quitting his job now impact his ability to gain employment later? Will he be able to go back to his career at some point? I think depending on that, there could be more than $400 at stake with this decision... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747423 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:27:30 +0000 Arden 747423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It really depends on the person, but for me? I'd rather him stay home with LO then put her in daycare, for sure. It would have to be a lot more than $400 a month to get me to change my mind. Like, WAY more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-400-extra-a-month-worth-sending-your-kids-to-daycare#post-747418 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:25:10 +0000 Crisark 747418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here is my dilemma...</p> <p>I will be going back to work in roughly three weeks. My husband currently works as well. Since I make more money me not returning to work isn't an option, however, my husband not working just might be.<br /> Here are some details, if we send the baby to daycare part time and continue after school care for our older LO's DH's pay would really only be contributing an additional $400 a month to our finances after paying for the daycare.<br /> He is all about staying home and I think that its wonderful that he wants to take on that responsibility but I'm worried.<br /> I'm concerned he will resent me for being the one who leaves daily and has adult interaction which then could cause problems in our marriage and I'm scared of having all the finances riding on my shoulders. And what if something happens to my employment and all that kind of worry...<br /> But, $400ish a month more doesn't seem worth it for our newborn and older LO's to have to go to daycare instead of being home with a parent.<br /> Anyway, sorry for the run on of worry but what would you do?? Have him quit or continue to work and send them to daycare?? </p>