https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 18 May 2026 07:14:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3/page/2#post-1412111 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 14:10:28 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1412111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: I agree, its all comparative. You take a kid from a loving home and put them in a bad daycare and yes, maybe there is an effect. But on the same point, there are studies that show that if you take kids from poor or bad homes and put them in quality programs (especially at older levels like 4 year olds) then you may see great growth for the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3/page/2#post-1412089 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 14:03:44 +0000 googly-eyes 1412089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: Not enough is available for all children to be enrolled in a high quality program is what I meant... :(</p> <p>(I mean obviously... Look at our schools.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3/page/2#post-1412074 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 14:00:55 +0000 immabeetoo 1412074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, it is not. Poverty, hunger, exposure to violence, yes. Daycare, no. Come on now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3/page/2#post-1412063 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 13:59:14 +0000 Mamaof2 1412063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: It's available ....its just crazy $$$$$!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3/page/2#post-1412058 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 13:57:36 +0000 googly-eyes 1412058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like EVERY other parenting decision you have to look at the whole picture. However, there IS a problem with availability of high quality child care in the U. S. and THAT, not the fact that child care is needed, is the problem, in my opinion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3/page/2#post-1412051 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 13:55:49 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 1412051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Anyone who cites Dr. Laura as a source automatically loses all credibility with me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3/page/2#post-1411999 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 13:41:50 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1411999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have the specific sources with me since I'm at work, but we actually discussed this and related studies in my Lifespan Development psychology class last semester. There have been several studies conducted that when children who come from loving homes are placed in a quality child-care setting, their development and well-being is no different from those who stay home with a parent. The only studies that differed were those placed in unsafe child-care settings.</p> <p>I completely disagree with this. Daycares can be a wonderful place for children to grow and thrive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3/page/2#post-1411979 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 13:35:25 +0000 Elderberrygin 1411979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everyone's pretty much covered my response to that particular article. (Summary: much like @yoursilverlining - those sources? LOLOL) </p> <p>Before I returned to work at 7 months I was incredibly stressed about the decision even though I knew I just wasn't cut out to be a SAHM. While I was beating myself up about sending A. to daycare I came across this article describing the positive outcomes for children of mothers suffering from PPD. <a href="http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/toddler/caring-for-toddler/daycare-beneficial-to-children-with-depressed-mothers-finds-study-20130626-2ovw2.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/toddler/caring-for-toddler/daycare-beneficial-to-children-with-depressed-mothers-finds-study-20130626-2ovw2.html</a> </p> <p>In our specific case, I think daycare was essential. I'm mentally so much better back at work with A. in daycare and that's better for her. </p> <p>This is not to say that other studies (actual scientific studies, not Biddulph and Schlessinger) critical of daycare should be ignored. But those studies are dealing with large population trends and should be used to guide public policy to ensure better standards of care for our children rather than as fuel for mommy wars. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3/page/2#post-1411969 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 13:32:58 +0000 plantains 1411969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lovehoneybee: @Cherrybee: I am so similar to you. I can honestly say that even if I didn't work, I have a sneaky feeling that DD would still go to daycare at least parttime. Yes, I said it, I don't want to spend 7 days a week at home with my little darling. Sorry, I just don't. </p> <p>The good folks at daycare have music time with guitar playing teachers, yoga classes, field trips and endless iterations of arts and crafts that my DD absouletly loves. There is no way that I could give my 19.5 month old even half the stimulation that daycare does and I have no desire to try. </p> <p>I love my baby, sanity and marriage too much for that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3/page/2#post-1411957 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 13:29:00 +0000 looch 1411957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lovehoneybee: We've (me, my husband, my son) had our ups and downs. The first three months of last year were rough, I cried a lot and my son was sick with something literally every other week. But then, one night, he reached for a book that he never showed any interest in and asked me to sit down so he could "read" the book to me. I nearly fell over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3/page/2#post-1411948 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 13:25:58 +0000 Kemma 1411948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any sources but I do remember reading about a study that concluded that providing the child is attending a good quality child care / early childhood education facility then it wont do any harm. And at the end of the day, some kids will thrive in daycare but for some it's not the best environment and each individual family just needs to make the decision about what's best for them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411938 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 13:23:20 +0000 lovehoneybee 1411938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cascademom: @blackbird: Thanks :heart: </p> <p>@looch: Can I assume that you're happier being back at work and your child is thriving in daycare and you're happy with your decision? ETA: Because although I'm certain this is the right move, I'm still nervous.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411916 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 13:16:19 +0000 Corduroy 1411916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It must certainly depend on the individual mother and the day care in question. Some days I feel like I'm better than day care and lots of days I don't. </p> <p>I don't need articles validating my choices. Whenever I even start to question the day care choice I remember that I MARRIED A DAY CARE BABY AND I THINK HE IS GREAT. Sample size of one works for me. His mom is pretty awesome too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411859 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 12:48:32 +0000 looch 1411859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lovehoneybee: What you wrote was me, before I returned to work. The only difference is that I did have a career to leave, but you know what, I stepped right back into it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411780 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 12:23:26 +0000 lawbee11 1411780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I'm pretty sure we're the same person! The thought of being a SAHM seemed very glamorous and fun while I was pregnant (I never actually considered it because we need my income, but I was jealous of SAHMs). After spending 5 1/2 months at home with my LO, though, I can now say that I'm not meant to be a SAHM and I have so much respect for SAHMs because that shiz is hard. </p> <p>My LO starts daycare next week and even though I know that most of these "sources" are biased and probably not all that reputable, of course I feel guilt over putting my LO in day care. But if I stayed home I'd feel guilt about not interacting with her enough or having enough different and stimulating activities for her to participate in. Sometimes we just can't win! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411727 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 12:08:24 +0000 blackbird 1411727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining, right?! In a fractured family, of course. </p> <p>@lovehoneybee, your honesty is refreshing, and I will NEVER believe that having a miserable mother will EVER do a child any good. No way, no how. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411717 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 12:05:56 +0000 cascademom 1411717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lovehoneybee: Hugs. E seems like a happy kid and you're a great mom. I'm crossing fingers for your job. I really do believe that some people are built for SAH while others aren't. I learned that I wasn't built for SAH. Even when you're part of a moms/parents neighborhood group, those of us who work don't get to do playdates, etc. We've been lucky that they've been welcoming to those who work in our neighborhood. It's tough making friends at any age especially with a kid. Big hugs to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411692 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:59:47 +0000 lovehoneybee 1411692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I agree with pretty much all of this. </p> <p>Look, I didn't have a career I left to have my son. I assumed I'd be a SAHM at least for a while. E is 18 months old, and I think the best thing for both of us is for me to go back to work and him to go to daycare. I've been grateful that I've gotten to spend this time with him, but I really don't think I'm meant to be a SAHM. I lose my patience easily, he has no interest in any stimulation activities (the ones I can manage to think of), I let him watch more television that I know I should because he's bored and screaming and pulling things down and I'm exhausted and need a break. To add to that, the only real socialization opportunity he has is at baby time at the library, and he'd rather break out of the room than interact with the other children. </p> <p>There are no mom groups here (unless they are super secret). I tried to start one, and it failed badly, probably in large part because I'm really not very social myself. There are no museums, or baby gyms. I'm sure there are some in the bigger towns around here (but still not many) but right now we're sharing a car and I only get it a day or two during the week, and those days are reserved for errands like grocery shopping. </p> <p>E has been thriving despite all of this, but I feel like I'm failing him by staying home with him, and I think that being in daycare will be SO good for him. And I'm hoping that I'll start feeling some personal worth again once I go back to work. </p> <p>Those moms, the ones that fervently believe and promote things like that article, probably think I'm a horrible person who will ruin my child, but they can buzz off. No one situation is a perfect fit for every family. We've tried me staying home--I'm not happy and I'm not doing as well for my son as I could. I think he'll benefit more from being in daycare. Maybe I'm delusion and maybe I am selfish, but I can't imagine that having a miserable mother will do him any good in the long run. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411687 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:58:43 +0000 yoursilverlining 1411687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: "Nasty, Brutish, and Short: Children in Day Care and the Mothers who Put Them There" </p> <p>LOLOL oh goodness, that sounds unbiased </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411639 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:44:44 +0000 looch 1411639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kind of lost faith in that article published on the National Observer when I saw that some of the sources quoted were originally published in the 1950s and 60s. So, yeah, not putting too much stock in it.</p> <p>As for daycare being bad, let's remember that Dr. Maria Montessori began her work for children in the slums, when children were left behind by their working parents. Her famous method came to be because there was a need for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411629 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:42:09 +0000 Bookish 1411629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like mommy-war bait to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411621 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:39:38 +0000 blackbird 1411621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These "cited articles" sound suuuper skewed and judgmental: </p> <p>-Every Child's Birthright: In Defense of Mothering<br /> -A Creche Can't Love Them<br /> -Do We Want Government to Be Our Baby-Sitter?<br /> -The Fractured Family: Following It into the Future<br /> -Nasty, Brutish, and Short: Children in Day Care and the Mothers who Put Them There</p> <p>I mean, wtf? Not sure those are ultra reputable sites </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411603 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:36:27 +0000 cascademom 1411603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SeptMomma12: Our teachers have been awesome. There's been a few bad moments, but very few and far between. During a recent spat of tantrums, she helped us so much throughout it. We waited on doing timeouts for a long time. It came to a head a couple of weeks ago. She's sweet when she says that she's proud of us for when we enforce it and do right by LO with discipline. She's also about the same age as us, so I think it makes it easier to accept advice from her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411600 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:35:12 +0000 Cherrybee 1411600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that whether it is positive or negative depends on the child, it depends on the kind of daycare you send them to and it also depends on the skills the potential stay-at-home parent has.... </p> <p>My daughter starts daycare next week at 6.5 months because I am going back to work. I love my girl, I really do, but I just don't know what to *do* with her all day every day..... Once the excitement of "oh look, it's mummy" wears off in the morning, she's bored and thrusting her giraffe at her, cooing "it's Sophieeee!" wears thin for her quicker than it does for me, it would appear!!! At daycare, she will get constant interaction all day. She will get to watch and play with other babies, she will hang out with grown ups who, bless their saintly souls, never tire of stimulating her, never find themselves reaching for the laptop, never put her down for a nap before she's quite ready because they really need a break. </p> <p>I never realised how hard spending all day with a baby was and I'm thankful that I can outsource that to someone who has the endless patience and the skills I sadly lack. Those parents who stay home with their child(ren) and are able to meet all of their needs are amazing - going to mum's groups to ensure their child gets social interaction and dreaming up new ways to stimulate their child(ren) day in and day out. The children of these men and women, I have no doubt, would fare equally well or even better at home. My daughter, on the other hand, will do better in daycare, of that I'm sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411591 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:30:35 +0000 SeptMomma12 1411591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cascademom: Couldn't have said it better myself. My LO is only 16 months and comes home every day amazing us with what he learned at day care. Likewise, I have learned so much from the teachers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411576 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:24:52 +0000 birdofafeather 1411576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my LO doesn't go to daycare as i WAH, but i think it would be great for her to go part time to socialize and do new activities! my LO learns a lot from observing kiddos that are older than her and i've seen her pick up tasks from one day with our friends with older kids. i also think it would be great for me to have uninterrupted work time without feeling like i'm ignoring LO or rushing to get things done during nap time!</p> <p>i will be looking into it in the fall when i get busier with work. i went to preschool when i was 2/3 and my siblings went to a home daycare and it was great for us!</p> <p>each family has to do what's right for them in terms of childcare. what works for one, doesn't work for another and i think we need to be supportive of each choice! it's hard enough for us mommas! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411568 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:22:00 +0000 psw27 1411568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, daycare is the only option for my kid if he/she wants to continue to have shelter and food....so personally, I think daycare is just fine :silly: </p> <p>In all seriousness, life is all about just making the best choice you can with the resources and choices available to you. I think most of us are just doing the best we can and articles like these do nothing but stir the pot to make others feel bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411559 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:19:10 +0000 cascademom 1411559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Me too. LO's learned so much as a daycare kid. He's got a great group of ladies who love him there. They've been helpful with behavior, etc. I think all of us having grown up a lot since he's been in daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411550 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:16:02 +0000 autumnlove 1411550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think daycare is great for my family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-daycare-bad-for-kids-under-3#post-1411540 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:13:07 +0000 cascademom 1411540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: I was thinking the same thing. Just what I need is some working mommy guilt on a Monday morning. </p>