https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 05:47:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381403 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 12:30:50 +0000 Alivoo01 1381403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think so. We get "insults" and critical critiques from all the older folks. Even ones that aren't related to us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381361 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 12:22:37 +0000 prettylizy 1381361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My british grandmother was awesome at the complisult, then the flat out insult. It mostly centred on appearance and the older she got the nastier they became. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381345 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 12:16:51 +0000 regberadaisy 1381345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, absolutely. My aunts are all like that too. But they will always follow up with a compliment. :) And I don't think they mean harm; they are just very honest! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381337 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 12:14:48 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1381337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it is somewhat cultural. Arabs do it too. What may come off an insanely tube to my American friends is totally normal to me sometimes. I guess I got used to tuning them out? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381335 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 12:14:34 +0000 spaniellove 1381335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some people are more like that than others, but it seems very accepted in Asian culture! And growing up/living here makes for a lot of tension with that criticism...they don't get that it's not okay with us. </p> <p>And the skinny/fat thing, really...there is no making them happy. They can tell you in the same breath you are too skinny and also that you should be working out more. When I was little it was that I was too fat but here, eat some more of this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381317 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 12:09:58 +0000 Sammyfab 1381317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's really common in Asian culture to be blunt...which often comes across rude!</p> <p>@autumnlove: @mamabear57: not according to my grandma! She would always comment that I was too skinny and that I needed to gain weight and be more like my sister - who was pregnant! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381304 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 12:05:21 +0000 MapleMoose 1381304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL is Asian and it was a huuuge shock to hear the things that come out of her mouth. DH grew up with it so it doesn't even phase him and he assures me it's typical! :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381298 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 12:04:22 +0000 mrs. wagon 1381298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know if it's cultural, but my whole family is crazy critical! I notice it most with food. I hate cooking for them because they're always like "what did you put in this? oh really? I usually do it this way..." (even my brother who doesn't really cook!) and when I buy food for them, whether we're at a restaurant or we order takeout, they always say it's not that good. I dread ordering the takeout I know they'll love because I know one day they will say "what happened to this place?? It used to be good, not anymore..." I'm always having to defend people to them!</p> <p>My mom is always on the search for good concealer, so finally I recommended the cle de peau expensive stuff everyone raves about, and turns out she had it in her purse and -- you guessed it -- "it's not that good" :P</p> <p>I think I have blocked out all criticism of my kids because I just can't handle taking it as actual criticism! I just brush it off as them being ridiculous, as they always are... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381270 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:57:23 +0000 sunny 1381270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think so! I get comments all the time about how I'm either too skinny or too fat. I just tune it out as them making conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381266 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:55:53 +0000 Mrs. Bee 1381266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely in Korean culture alas. :( sorry about the negative comments... I guess I'm used to them and tune them out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381257 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:53:36 +0000 snowjewelz 1381257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mamabear57: But if I got skinnier, it's not a good thing either! Then it's why am I not eating? Who is not feeding me? </p> <p>I def gained some weight after the wedding, and all these nosy aunties assume I'm pregnant. Or they are like oh it's happy weight, preparing for a baby! Even when it's a "positive" comment, I don't really see it as positive lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381256 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:53:36 +0000 illumina 1381256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjyw: I don't think it's a cultural thing--my parents are exactly the same. They nit pick and seem to look for the bad in any given situation. The first thing they say when we see them is "she looks fat" or "she looks grumpy". sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381245 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:50:21 +0000 teamjse 1381245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Yes in Asian culture being skinny is very much prized. </p> <p>@snowjewelz: it's always always about the weight. Lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381242 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:49:34 +0000 autumnlove 1381242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Skinny is prized!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381231 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:48:12 +0000 snowjewelz 1381231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mamabear57: I don't why it's ALWAYS about your weight! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381222 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:46:49 +0000 looch 1381222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am genuinely curious now, when a comment becomes an insult. So you are short. Someone calls you "shorty." It is a fact, not just a random trait someone decided to apply.</p> <p>In the Asian culture, is skinniness or fatness prized? Is it mentioned because it's an honor to have a heavy wife (I don't know the country specifically where this is the case). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381198 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:42:37 +0000 teamjse 1381198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes its very normal in Asian cultures for your extended family to make comments not just behind your back, but to your face. </p> <p>Whenever we go back to Asia, we always get the, oh you guys gained weight comment. It's so annoying. Ugh. The thing is that I don't think they find their comments rude. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381195 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:41:50 +0000 autumnlove 1381195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm, older people in my family are very critical. They will make your weight a dinner time topic..wow, you got so much fatter since the last time I saw you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381181 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:39:00 +0000 mamimami 1381181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In Mexico, it's much more acceptable to comment on someone's physical appearance, esp. for example if they are light or dark skinned, tall or short, skinny or heavy. Like, you're not supposed to get offended if someone calls you "shorty," "blondy," etc. So maybe it's not so much criticism but what KIND of comments they are (the examples you gave were all physical things). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381150 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:29:26 +0000 mrs. bird 1381150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: i think our culture determines what is rude though- like in mr. bird's culture, yelling isn't rude, it's pretty normal, so his family doesn't understand why i find their behavior to be unacceptable when they yell. in asian families i've been told it isn't considered rude to force fed adults (i was shocked the first time i had an elderly woman shoving food in my face while my hands were occupied holding a baby!) or comment on weight. i don't think some people are doing things with any idea their behavior is perceived as rude, it's their cultural norm. i do agree that rude people are everywhere, doing things they know to be rude, but not all rudeness is done with intent </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381127 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:21:16 +0000 looch 1381127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjyw: haha, got it!</p> <p>I think it would bother me if my son understood. That's where I'd be telling them to keep it to themselves.</p> <p>But to answer your question, rudeness happens across all cultures. I think a lot of it stems from not knowing what to say and not having an appropriate filter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381126 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:20:31 +0000 mrs. bird 1381126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i think it can be. some cultures it's more acceptable to voice criticism than others. i've worked as a nanny in a couple asian families and i've been told that some things i would find to be rude or out of line are totally normal and acceptable coming from older females in the family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381125 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:20:21 +0000 HLK208 1381125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom always has something to say about LO's, DH or me. It's just how she was raised (which might be cultural since my grandparents and great grandparents are very German). </p> <p>I dress them too warm, not warm enough, their clothes are too tight or too loose. Ugh...it never ends!! I'm a particular person, I think, so sometimes I think my mom just says SOMETHING to make it seem like she knows better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381121 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:19:24 +0000 mrsjyw 1381121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: i dont care about the comments, they dont bother me, it's just that their comments are usually on the negative side. and no it wasn't a bad haircut! :) we like it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381107 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:15:50 +0000 looch 1381107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you agree with the comments? Are you embarrased by them?</p> <p> I mean, yeah, you're his mom, but you know if he's got a messed up hair cut! It's happened to my son! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381105 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:15:45 +0000 snowjewelz 1381105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjyw: A lot of aunties I know, the first thing they talk/ask about when they see you is about your weight! Or if you were single, why aren't you married yet, etc! </p> <p>It's def not very positive whether it's a cultural thing or not, but I def see very similar things when talking to friends from the same culture. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381100 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:14:33 +0000 pui 1381100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's just a some people thing. My (white) aunt and cousins used to talk the same way (they would even do it behind each other's backs). We're Canadian. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381093 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:13:08 +0000 Dandelion 1381093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no idea on the cultural thing, but that's rude! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-a-cultural-thing-to-critique#post-1381088 Tue, 28 Jan 2014 11:11:55 +0000 mrsjyw 1381088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While I know they love him and wish that they could meet him. I've noticed that a lot of comments about from my aunts in korea are always critical. </p> <p>"They messed up that last haircut on him"</p> <p>"He looks like he has short legs"</p> <p>are the two most recent comments.</p> <p>My parents have never been the stereotypical asian parents growing up, as they never critiqued me or my brother on grades, appearance, or really anything for that matter. so it's an even more foreign concept to me.</p> <p>Is it a cultural thing? The only reason I ask is because I never hear these types of comments from my family and friends here in the states. </p>