https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 20:05:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78963 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:29:27 +0000 heffalump 78963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: Hope so! This thread is making me feel a lot better about it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78960 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:28:30 +0000 Andrea 78960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: Well, in that case I wouldn't worry about it. If they know you are planning on having more kids, they can't expect you to part with anything yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78958 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:26:02 +0000 heffalump 78958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@umlo: That's crazy! Those things are too special to you to pass on. You should keep them for your own grandchildren, and you shouldn't have to feel guilty about that!</p> <p>@Andrea: My only problem with giving them the stuff that I don't want is that I doubt they would want it etiher. I don't have a ton of clothes because I didn't want to buy things and for the most part only have what we recieved as gifts and a few hand me downs. So the only things I'd like to get rid of are the things that are stained, and I guess there are a few boring solid color onesies I could part with.</p> <p>I think I'll just hope they have a boy so they won't want my pink things!</p> <p>@Goldilocks1107: I don't think she'll ask for my stuff. I think my mom will ask for her. She's bought me a lot of the clothes, and she'd end up buying them more clothes too if they need it. I feel bad saying no to my mom since she is so generous to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78955 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:22:28 +0000 mrs. wagon 78955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only gave away the things I had double of or I knew I wouldn't want to use again... ie Bumbo (since we have a bebepod) and snap n go (since we have a Vista with the infant seat adapter). Everything else I kept. If/when people ask to borrow or have things, I point them to other friends we have in common who are definitely done or might have stuff to give (i.e. had a boy first, expecting a girl second and will be done after that). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78951 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:14:13 +0000 Goldilocks1107 78951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with everyone - if it's something you're planning to use again, keep it. If she asks for your stuff (which takes a lot of balls, by the way), just say "we're planning on having more kids in the future, so we're holding on to all our baby stuff for now."<br /> Then show her a remarkable invention called "Craigslist" where she can find baby items for cheap that other people don't want/need anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78938 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 08:11:44 +0000 Andrea 78938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have given some stuff away that I don't like too much, but I am keeping all the things that I plan to use again if we have another baby. Maybe you can do that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78913 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 02:17:34 +0000 umlo 78913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So glad I read this post. My SIL is due next month and I had planned on giving her many things that I no longer/don't care in getting back and some big items that i hope to get back. As much as i want to be a cheerful giver, especially since i received some great hand-me-downs,, there are some items i cannot give, especially things that were passed down on my side of the family. It would be very weird if my SILs baby was wearing my baby shoes, and baptism outfit that all the women in my family wore. Too bad my MIL doesn't understand that- she wants me to give her daughter everything including those things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78911 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 02:15:14 +0000 looch 78911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pretty meticulous with all of our clothing and since it's so expensive, I don't lend anything out. Babies are messy and it's not their fault if they have reflux or spit up and I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they had to replace our stuff.</p> <p>We didn't have anyone to hand stuff down to us and the second hand stuff available looks really worn (thanks to the hard water) so whatever we have is bought new, on sale. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78904 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 01:46:05 +0000 SugarplumsMom 78904@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO isn't even here yet and this is something I think about. People around me seem to think we have tons of baby clothes already and it's just the bare essentials (maybe they do laundry more, I don't know). But whatever we have, we intend to use on our 2nd baby-to-be. I dread someone asking me for baby things, because I still want to use them! </p> <p>I don't believe in borrowing. For me borrowing = never seeing again, so if I were you, I'd buy her a couple of new things and whatever extras of something you most definitely won't use again.</p> <p>I hate being put on the spot like that and truly hope no one specifically asks. With that said, I'm normally very generous with my friends, I'm usually the first one to send out a gift or two - just not my own things.</p> <p>Edit: I'm pretty sentimental, the type that would frame baby's 1st onesie. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78896 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 01:07:49 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 78896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I gave some stuff away to a friend who had a girl a few months ago. The stuff I gave her was all stuff I wouldn't be heartbroken about if I never saw it again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78887 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 00:50:17 +0000 cupcakemama 78887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You don't give stuff away until you are done! I don't think you would be expected to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78885 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 00:46:47 +0000 Boogs 78885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a cousin that just had a baby and I feel bad for not giving her anything because she's super nice, clean, and all that good stuff. But, we don't think we are done having kids, so I want to hang onto everything I have. Most of my LO's clothes are already hand me downs, so my next LO will already be the 4th kid wearing a lot of the stuff. If someone used it all before me, I worry about how much would actually come back usable for a 5th time. So, even though I feel bad, I've said nothing and just plan on keeping our stuff until we are for sure done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78879 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 00:10:41 +0000 SAHM0811 78879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>try not to feel obligated. you never know... maybe she doesn't want them anyway? when I gave things away after first LO, I gave them away because I really wanted (okay, more like needed) to make more space (always an issue living in NYC). I was very okay with not getting those things back. I kept plenty for #2 though.</p> <p>If you don't feel comfortable giving something away, don't! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78869 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 23:46:19 +0000 StbHisMrs 78869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, I don't offer. I know how hard it is to get borrowed items back, and what condition it comes back in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78764 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:28:42 +0000 mrstilly 78764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you should be expected to give away LO's things. I would never ask for someone else's stuff, even though I graciously accept if they offer. </p> <p>My SIL and BIL are ttc soon, and we are going to lend them some of our gear and probably some clothes too. We are really close though. I'd be less likely to share with someone I wasn't that close with unless I was positive we were done having kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78759 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:10:14 +0000 heffalump 78759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chopsuey119: that's a lot of babies -how fun! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78758 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:09:05 +0000 Rubies 78758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would only offer to give away things that I no longer needed/wanted. You're not obligated to give her anything! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78757 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:08:56 +0000 chopsuey 78757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: I don't plan on giving any of my LO's stuff away until I'm done! Not sure if we're going to have 1 or 2 more.. plus we're going to adopt, so by the time we're done with LO's stuff, not sure anyone will want it anyway! :)<br /> Keep your LO's stuff! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78755 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:07:46 +0000 heffalump 78755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: so glad I'm not the only one! I feel selfish, but I had to buy all that stuff or received it as gifts. She'll have her own shower, and I.wont get one.for baby number two. So if I don't have this stuff, I'm screwed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78751 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:02:14 +0000 Maysprout 78751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha, we just went through this too. A friend (who's very well off) asked for our baby clothes.. I offered a few things we had extra but we plan on having 2 more kids and they don't live anywhere near us so I'm not banking on clothes being returned or not all worn out. I felt like a bad person too but I don't feel like having to buy a new wardrobe for the next baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-bad-if-i-dont-want-to-give-los-hand-me-downs-to-a-family-member-yet#post-78749 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:58:49 +0000 heffalump 78749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A family member of mine is TTC. I feel like if she gets pregnant, I'll be expected to give her LO's hand me downs. I'm the only one who has a baby, and therefore the only one who has baby things. But we're hoping to TTC again soon (not too soon, but in less than a year) so I don't want to give away all of LO's clothes. Is that bad? Should I just give them to her and say that I'll want them back when my next baby comes along? I guess I'm just worried I won't get them back... especially because this person tends to not give things back that she borrows. </p> <p>What would you do? </p>