https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 02:33:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1854195 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 23:47:41 +0000 daniellemybelle 1854195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: Absolutely. My daughter goes to MDO and I have had to make it very clear to the teachers and the directors that I do work and this is my childcare.</p> <p>My daughter is only 10 months so it's different, but we are also doing MDO (9-3 Tues/Thurs) and we have had a HARD time. The first day they did ask me to pick her up in a roundabout way... They texted me about how sad she was until I asked if I needed to come get her and the teacher said yes. Of course I wanted to do it, but it is also really hard when you need to work!</p> <p>Things are still touch and go but we've decided to send her 3 days per week (Tues/Thurs/Fri) for a while to see if that helps to speed the transition. I'm not sure if that's an option for you? You could even do 3 shorter days if you think that's better for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1854025 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 19:43:47 +0000 Mrs. Rabbit 1854025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so glad the director at least sounded reasonable, especially with offering to reimburse you if things don't get better. </p> <p>Here's hoping he just needs more time to settle in there, and that the people in his room will be able to distract him enough to calm him down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853900 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 17:45:45 +0000 Mrs. Pinata 1853900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone! The frustrating thing about today is that drop-off was easy and great. He waved and did fine! Apparently something happened that caused him to get upset and he just wasn't able to calm down. It's hard for me to know what really happened, but I guess the tough part was that once he started crying he never really calmed down. :/ </p> <p>I talked to the Director who was really nice and supportive and apologized that she wasn't there when the whole situation happened (her son had had an asthma attack at school so she was there, poor things). Anyway, she said it's up to us how much we want him to be upset and I said that I just felt like if we brought him home after just an hour or so that he would keep doing that and just keep coming home, which is not helpful at all!</p> <p>I told her that it took a couple of months for him to adjust last year to MDO (a different program), so it might take awhile this time too. :/ She said that if we go ahead and pay October tuition and it doesn't get any better before then she will give us the tuition back if we decided to pull him out of the program, which was encouraging. </p> <p>I'm just going to tell them I would feel better if they kept him through lunch. If he can stay for at least 3 hours for the rest of the month I think that's a good start. I just don't like paying and him ending up at home, because it's a significant amount for us to make a month and I NEED those hours to get stuff done! Sigh. I guess we'll see where we are at the end of the month. I forgot how exhausting the school transition is for MOMS too! :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853742 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 15:41:44 +0000 RubyCali 1853742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think since it's a MDO program and not a traditional preschool or daycare their expectations could be different. I know that our local MDO requires a parent to always be accessible to pick up the child if needed. </p> <p>Can you start by having him go for just an hour or two, during some of his favorite parts (Outside play? Music?) and work up to 5 hours? If it's his first time in child care it might be beneficial to take a step back and start building up some positive associations wherever you can first. I also love Mrs. Jump Rope's suggestion of having some play dates. Familiar faces can make a big difference! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853652 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 14:47:40 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1853652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pinata: oh! That tuition scenario makes sense and I agree with your plan!</p> <p>Can you make pay dates with other kids in the class? We saw the kids outside of class often and that helped calm her worries.. The familiar faces were reassuring!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853649 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 14:45:17 +0000 mamimami 1853649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is weird. When my son started preschool, he didn't stay all day, for maybe the first week. I would pick him up after a couple of hours -- more and more time every day. This was PRE-PLANNED. I knew these people knew what they were doing. </p> <p>In your situation I would honestly have some doubts about their level of experience! Was he completely out of control when you picked him up? Or just crying? Poor thing!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853639 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 14:39:32 +0000 su9su9 1853639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter screamed/cried last school year at preschool often. The teacher did her best to calm her down, but three times she was sent to an empty classroom (another teacher sat with her) to work it out. The school never called me to pick her up, but more just to give me updates and asked for my guidance. Maybe you can suggest that to the Director? To have them send him to an empty classroom so at least he isn't disruptive? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853543 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 13:50:39 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1853543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This seems like bullhonkey to me!<br /> Sometimes I think MMO programs are less flexible than traditional daycare because they assume the moms just want a "break" and are not working for real. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853533 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 13:46:45 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1853533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That does not sound typical to me (to send a child home because they are crying). I'm so surprised they called you! I would talk to the director and ask for the official policy for needing to pick up your child. If it includes crying, I would find another place. If it doesn't include crying, I would tell her that you feel like a plan needs to be made that doesn't include you picking him up early, it's lame to pay full tuition for less than full days (I think this is different that sickness or vacation, since he is not putting other kids at risk of being ill and it's not your choice to have him out for the day). </p> <p>Good luck! I hope he adjusts soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853494 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 13:22:33 +0000 Mamaof2 1853494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would def have a sit down with the director of the program - find out what their rules are - also ask what they did do help your LO adjust. Also give them ideas of things he likes to do so they can distract him.</p> <p>Its frustrating on both ends but in the end its their job to take care of him for those few hours.</p> <p>As a side my DS who is 6 in 2 weeks has pretty much cried at drop since age 1 - we have had a few breaks here and there - anyway - I told my DH that when we leave DCP (when he starts 1st grade) I need to give the teacher that dealt with his drop offs a HUGE monetary gift :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853478 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 13:11:19 +0000 BSB 1853478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pinata: No advice but hugs! That's so frustrating. Is that in their policy to do this. Sounds really odd to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853472 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 13:09:09 +0000 looch 1853472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pinata: I am trying to think if there's a way I would word it to ask, but I am coming up short. It's a business, they have expenses that need to be paid on a schedule and it's impossible to predict the future, so I'd be willing to give it one more month. It may end up being a loss, but at least you tried. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853433 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 12:56:03 +0000 Mrs. Pinata 1853433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm saying I don't want to pay October tuition, until we know for sure we'll be keeping him in the program for that long. If they keep sending him home, we'll pull him out. I paid for September tuition in August, so it's the October tuition due on Wednesday and I'd rather keep him home and not pay $200, rather than pay $200 and have him in school for just an hour each day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853413 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 12:45:45 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1853413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure if that's typical, so I would ask the school policy.</p> <p>Our 2s program was for 2 hours, and there were a few kids in the class that would scream. One child in particular would cry hysterically the entire class, even during pick up, and her mom was never called to come get her. </p> <p>I would think you're expected to pay regardless if your child is in attendance. Imagine getting a free day if your child was home sick, or because of bad weather! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853406 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 12:41:29 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 1853406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our school lets them cry for 2.5 hours before they call mom or dad to pick up the child. An hour seems a bit short, to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853398 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 12:38:58 +0000 plantains 1853398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, that is not typical, why did they send him home? Dpon't they have a plan in place for transitioning him? My DD cried endlessly when she first started daycare, that is why they are being paid. I would definitely ask for them to either give an extension on teh tuition or give you a make-up day. I understand having to pay if you opt to send him, but if they send my kid home for a reason other than sickness, I am not going to pay for that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853375 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 12:32:03 +0000 travellingbee 1853375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No that is not typical. LOs cry when they are adjusting to daycare. That is normal. It is making it worse in the long run if you have to go and get him every time he cries. Then he is never learning to adjust there. My poor buddy has been crying all day for a week :( :( They said it was good he was coming 5 days a week so he'd adjust quicker! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853360 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 12:26:27 +0000 Freckles 1853360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be super annoyed. Did you do any transition days with him, or did he start right away? I probably would've held firm and said that they have to figure out how to deal with his crying and not picked them up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853338 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 12:17:53 +0000 looch 1853338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As far as the payment goes, I am of the mind that you have to suck it up and pay it, regardless if your child is actually in attendance. The school has to pay the staff.</p> <p>Is it possible to increase the time? I know it sounds counterintuitive, but it could be that he'll have a more difficult time adjusting because of all the off time, especially from one week to the other. Or do Mon/Tues?</p> <p>eta: my son began day care at age 2 and he cried every day for a year and a half, so I get it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-normal-for-a-preschool-to-send-a-child-home-after-crying-for-an-hour#post-1853326 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 12:10:04 +0000 Mrs. Pinata 1853326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so frustrated. And to be quite honest, I'm a blubbering mess right now. </p> <p>I work from home doing a few different things. Mostly working for our church's children's ministry. I am in charge of supplies so I have to run errands and go into church about once a week (or every other week if I work ahead) and do a whole lot of administration and organization stuff from home. </p> <p>Needless to say, I have been READY for DS's (2 years old) preschool program to start for over a month now! I signed him up for a MDO on Mondays and Wednesdays from 9am-2pm. He started last Wednesday (finally) and it went mostly ok. They said he cried all during lunch and wouldn't eat and he didn't nap, but otherwise was happy and fine. I was ok with this because I knew there would be a transition for a few weeks. </p> <p>Today they called me at 10:20 and said he had been crying/screaming since about 10 minutes after I left and asked if I could come pick him up. Of course I feel horrible for both him AND them that he'd been upset for over an hour, but if I come and pick him up after he cries for an hour, won't he learn that he will get "rescued"? But, I went ahead anyway and picked him up. Now, I'm even MORE stressed than before because I have so much backed-up work to do from not having childcare all summer and now I have him with me all day today too! And I don't see an end in sight (after looking forward to preschool starting for so long). </p> <p>Needless to say, I'm very stressed out about this whole thing. Not to mention another month's tuition is due on Wednesday. How can I commit to paying another $200 when he's only "been there" 2 days and got sent home after just an hour on the second day? :/ </p> <p>I'm planning on talking to the Director and explaining that in order to keep him in the program we will need commitment that they will be patient with him despite crying and screaming so that he will get used to it. And also asking for an extension on tuition for a couple of weeks because I just don't think it's fair for us to have to pay another $200 when his first "month" ended up just being less than 1.5 days. </p> <p>I'm just not ok with how it has played out so far and I'd just like to know, do other preschool/dayschool programs send the kids home if they've been crying for an hour? This seems counter-productive to me as a mom and as a previous preschool teacher. </p>