https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 26 May 2026 03:45:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1328289 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 13:07:05 +0000 SLR 1328289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is 13m and while things have gotten easier in some aspects, its seems that there is always a whole new set of challenges right around the corner. She still doesn’t sleep through the night, has become really picky with solids (doesn’t want anything to do with a fruit or vegetable right now), is going through a very clingy phase, and our attempt to transition to cows milk and sippy cups is going just TERRIBLY. I’m also a WOHM and find my biggest struggle to be the constant juggling of everything and still having some time for myself to feel halfway normal. So, any tips I have are probably a little off topic. And I don’t any of these are new or unique ideas that you probably haven’t already heard or read on other threads, but the combination of these seem to be what has worked best for me.</p> <p>• Waking up earlier than I ‘need’ to. I’ve found that even with less sleep, I feel so much better overall when I get up early and can take a shower, put on some makeup, and have a little time to myself in the mornings. For me, I find that just feeling somewhat put-together goes a looooong way.<br /> • Making lists at work and home…LOTS of lists. I’ve been back at work for almost a year and still find that my mind wanders so much more than it used to. I also have some other work circumstances that are making it even harder to stay engaged. I keep a running list in a notebook of everything I need/want to get done just so I don’t forget about it when my mind does drift off. And it’s so satisfying to physically scratch something off the list when I get it done (kinda cheesy, I know).<br /> • Using my commute time and lunches for planning and personal stuff. Little things like writing thank you notes from the holidays, looking up new easy/quick dinner ideas, making shopping lists, scheduling appointments, etc. get done on my lunch. The drive home is about 45 minutes, so I’ll usually catch up with my mom on the phone or use the time to mentally plan our dinners for the week, our errands for the weekend, etc. I try to keep the evenings as open as possible to hang out with my daughter and for me-time after she goes to bed.<br /> • Using a cleaning service. Again, probably off topic, but not stressing about keeping up with some of the housework really has made me more relaxed and happier overall. Oh my, has it been a godsend. If you don’t already and it’s in the budget, you should definitely consider it. It’s freed up so much time on the weekend for me to have some downtime and enjoy my daughter.<br /> • Some friends and I get together usually the first Tuesday of every month to do dinner and pick a new restaurant to try (this month is Nigerian!). It’s so important to have a little time on your own to unwind and I've found that even just one night a month can help give me a little bit of a break.<br /> • I’m really working hard on not comparing myself to others. I don’t really get phased anymore by the mom’s that appear to have it all together. They don’t, and even if they did, everyone’s circumstances are different. I finally have realized that I’m doing a damn good job balancing what I do, and I’m proud of that.<br /> • Also not comparing your child to others. It’s too easy to feel pressured or behind by comparing stats and milestones with those of friends’ babies. And while things like online forums and mommy groups are so very helpful in a ton of ways, there are times that they’ve made me feel like we are behind on milestones when we’re really not. I’ve spent too much time and energy worrying, wondering, and comparing when I should have been focused on just how awesome she is. </p> <p>Overall, I’m just trying to change my outlook on things and embrace the chaos in my life. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1328209 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 12:49:23 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 1328209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is why I don't really like the phrase, "It gets easier" because it's simply not true. It gets easier in some ways, but it gets harder in other ways. It gets easier as they get older when it comes to sleep and not feeding around the clock, but it gets harder because they start forming very strong opinions of their own and the whole stranger danger thing sets in. There's something easier and harder in every stage. You are not alone and this is normal! Not whiny at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1328193 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 12:45:09 +0000 meredithNYC 1328193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel like this is whiny at all. You are entitled to your feelings and this is the perfect forum to talk about such things, so I wouldn't ever feel bad about that. </p> <p>That said, do you think you might actually be depressed? I have no idea about your history and whether this is an on-going or just occasional feeling, etc., but I know that when I've been depressed in the past I looked at seemingly small things (i.e. showering, brushing teeth) as something that I just could not/would not deal with. Everything felt so overwhelming. If you think you could be depressed, definitely talk to someone about it. I hated having to do it with PPD, but things got so much better after I started taking steps to change things.</p> <p>Good luck on whatever you decide to do! I know a lot of ladies on Hellobee (myself included) can commiserate and there's lots of support here :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1328144 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 12:25:17 +0000 cascademom 1328144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It definitely got better at 12 months old. I felt like I could manage life better at that point. As for self-care, I really have to think about myself since being a mom. I have to make a point of taking a shower. My DH makes a comment if I haven't showered when I said I would. It sounds nagging on me, but it helps. DH still doesn't get that life needs to be organized and structured to make our family work. It's a small sticking point with our relationship these days. The organization doesn't happen in a vacuum. Asking for his help and making him a part of it helps it. </p> <p>Tantrums have been the tough point since 12 months on. At 16 months old, we're in the thick of tantrums and independence. Toddlers and emotions are so tough. For the past week, he's had massive tantrums coming home from daycare and when he doesn't get what he wants. It takes a lot of effort to get him in a different mindset. I'm hoping that it improves over time. Toddlers are mini moody teenagers with a developing vocabulary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1328068 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 12:03:52 +0000 Dagny 1328068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am completely on the same page. LO is 9 mo and I still feel like I'm in survival mode. I don't eat enough, never have time to myself, shower twice a week if I'm lucky. I'm a mess!! :) I certainly don't feel like things have gotten easier as LO gets older. What's hard just changes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1328053 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 11:59:34 +0000 Aimed 1328053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Katrocap: Please know that I am not saying that in a negative way, nor am I suggesting that this is you - but I have seen several moms get so overwhelmed and not take care of themselves, like not showering or caring for themselves, and it has led to what I would call depression, not having much regard for themselves and not being interested in anything. I am not suggesting that this is you AT ALL!<br /> I guess, I have seen depression up close (with my mom when I was growing up) so I am very observant for it, and I have seen that it can be very insidious, it can start so slowly with little things and before you know it, its out of control. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1327998 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 11:44:36 +0000 Katrocap 1327998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aimed: Thanks. I'm hoping today is just a day that's rougher than others. DS has his 12 month appointment on Saturday, so I'll be able to talk to his pediatrician about eating habits then. I'm curious ... what do you mean by, "I have seen it be such a slippery slope for so many great moms!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1327936 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 11:23:56 +0000 Aimed 1327936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Katrocap: Parenting is definitely tougher than the brochures would have you believe! And some days are rougher than others. That being said, it does sound like you are having a tough time when you feel like you can't care for yourself as you would like to. Perhaps you could speak with your SO or others in your family if they are close by about taking a break more often and taking some time for yourself, or hire a babysitter if that is a possibility.<br /> Please take care of yourself, I have seen it be such a slippery slope for so many great moms!<br /> Also, maybe check in with your pediatrician to see if LO's eating habits are ok and if there is anything that you can do to improve the situation. (((Hugs))) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1327850 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 10:58:18 +0000 birdofafeather 1327850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'm sorry you're struggling. i agree that as they grow up, the challenges just change. i remember talking to my friend with a LO a couple months older than R and she's like, oh, the parenting actually is starting now! now that her son has a personality and it's less about just eat, sleep, poop. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1327374 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 07:46:27 +0000 Andrea 1327374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I found the 2's pretty challenging with tantrums and defiance. So I don't think it is ever all just easy all the time. Imagine all the drama that is still ahead of us in the teenage years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1327361 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 07:36:36 +0000 looch 1327361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Katrocap: I get it, believe me. There are some mornings when my son listens and he does what we need him to when we need him to. Then there are other mornings when it's just not happening and none of my "tricks" work. It's the nature of the beast, I think! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1327358 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 07:34:16 +0000 Dandelion 1327358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep! Mine is 6 and a piece of cake! Now I get to start all over with another LO, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1327350 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 07:29:16 +0000 Katrocap 1327350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yin: Thank you for your response. I need to hear that it gets better. Good luck with raising a toddler and infant at the same time!</p> <p>@SLR: I'd love to hear some of the things that helped you. Thanks!</p> <p>@beyond2: I agree that motherhood is one of the hardest things I'll ever do. I guess I was naive about it; my mom made it look so easy!</p> <p>@looch: This past year I've learned that things don't necessarily get "easier", they just get different. I guess I just feel like I should be more in the groove by now and not have mornings like this one where I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, just like the first night we brought home DS from the hospital. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1327346 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 07:27:42 +0000 looch 1327346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is 3, and it gets different as they get older. Just as soon as you feel like you master them, they change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1327344 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 07:25:26 +0000 yin 1327344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was in the same boat too, and I was constantly being reminded that it gets better. We all have different struggles and obstacles. It's all a learning process. I think once DS1 turned 2, I entered a comfort zone and grasped the concept of "it gets better." Even the challenge of taking care of a toddler while being pregnant, I felt like I could do it. Now this whole toddler and infant thing -- that's a another story. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1327332 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 07:12:03 +0000 Beyond2 1327332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is almost 16 months and some days I feel like being a mom is getting harder! I think motherhood in general is just one of the hardest things we'll ever do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1327331 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 07:08:10 +0000 SLR 1327331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hang in there, I can absolutely commiserate! It's still tough for me too. :happy: I'm out the door heading for work but will try to come back with a few little things that have helped me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-it-supposed-to-still-be-tough-at-one-year#post-1327319 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 06:46:10 +0000 Katrocap 1327319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS turned one over the weekend. I thought things were supposed to get better. And they have, but it's still tough being a mom. I've been back at work since August and still don't feel fully present there. Taking care of a baby is overwhelming. I know I'm not taking care of myself as I should. This is embarrassing to admit, but I don't shower as much as I should. Some days it just seems like too big of a deal to shower. I feel like remembering to brush my teeth is an accomplishment. DS only seems interested in milk, breastmilk or formula and will not actually swallow any foods, which is super stressful. I'm doing okay in general, but I feel like these are the problems of a mom with a newborn, not a mom with a one year old. </p> <p>Sorry for the whiny rambling ... </p>