https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 11 May 2026 04:53:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2363333 Thu, 19 Nov 2015 14:40:44 +0000 Alba4 2363333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally get that this is a tough decision! I think you need to do whatever is realistic and what will keep you sane. Your kids need a happy mommy and a full baby is a happy baby. It doesn't matter if it is breastmilk or formula.</p> <p>I pumped for my LO#1 but only lasted 6 months before it was just too much. I was so hard on myself and I Promised myself (and my husband) that I would never be that hard on myself again. </p> <p>I'm newly pregnant and I hope I'll be able to breastfeed more easily this time around. I really don't know how people keep up a pumping schedule with a newborn and toddler. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2363057 Thu, 19 Nov 2015 12:26:30 +0000 Madison43 2363057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: great point, definitely helpful. It's true that the idea of doing all that for an indefinite amount of time seems crazy, but doing it a few times a day for one week seems more manageable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2363040 Thu, 19 Nov 2015 12:16:29 +0000 MamaCate 2363040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: I don't know if this is helpful as our situation was a little different, but I had similar questions about whether it was worth it: my LO was full term but had a significant tongue tie and we could not get him to latch at all for the first six weeks or so. </p> <p>I was feeling really discouraged about nursing but I wasn't quite ready to give up. So I decided to give myself a week and try nursing followed by bottle feeding and pumping. We did that for about half the feedings for about four days and he finally started latching and nursing more efficiently!</p> <p>So I found that I got overwhelmed if I thought about having to do anything until the baby was a year. Maybe try for a week and see how it goes and then reevaluate<br /> Good luck mama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362721 Thu, 19 Nov 2015 10:05:38 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2362721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I would definitely give it my best effort. My first was tiny (IUGR) and BF took a long time to establish pretty much for all the reasons you mentioned- the feeding and pumping etc. But in the end it was SO worth it. If it doesn't work out at least you know you gave it a good try. That's how I see it anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362688 Thu, 19 Nov 2015 09:51:22 +0000 Madison43 2362688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I can't speak to AR for non-preemie issues. Without going through all the NICU drama, LO2 was getting all her nutrition though a tube until 2 weeks ago because her suck/swallow reflex hadn't fully developed yet. Once she was strong enough to eat, she had to be bottle fed because they needed to see that she could take full feeds by mouth in order to be comfortable sending us home. Breastfeeding is also more work that bottle feeding so preemies get tired out pretty quickly and usually have to be supplemented by tube feedings for longer. Once she started taking full feeds (1 oz) by mouth, she started having reflux, which caused her heartrate and oxygen levels to drop. Two weekends ago, they went so low that she turned blue and had to be given oxygen to recover - that happened two days in a row, which is when they recommended that we try the AR. She responded great and we got to go home a few days later. So, at least in my preemie's world, the AR was to deal with the preemie response to the reflux. Once she outgrows that particular response, full time breastfeeding is completely encouraged. The question for me, as I mentioned above, is whether I can deal with the nurse/bottle feed/hold upright and then pump cycle to get us there. </p> <p>That was probably way more info than you were looking for, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't giving the wrong impression about our doctors/situation. :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362677 Thu, 19 Nov 2015 09:48:18 +0000 Greentea 2362677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I would. I went through some real hell breastfeeding and fantasized about going to formula. In the long run somehow I got through it and am so glad I did. I would do your best to make it work and that's all you can ask for! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362629 Thu, 19 Nov 2015 09:34:39 +0000 Madison43 2362629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: @Annette: just to be clear, our doctors are very pro breastfeeding and the end game would be to get her breastfeeding full time. The question for me is whether it's feasible for me to get us there without losing my mind :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362581 Thu, 19 Nov 2015 09:20:41 +0000 Madison43 2362581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: yeah, this is the solution that I'm leaning most towards. I can definitely pump several times a day...definitely not full time, but enough that she'll always get half breastmilk every day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362528 Thu, 19 Nov 2015 09:06:05 +0000 cam 2362528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My boy was born at 35 weeks and we started out breastfeeding for 5 min at a time and then supplementing after, first with formula and then with pumped milk once mine came in fully. In his case it was limited to conserve his energy. I will say that that whole feeding procedure took a lot of time. It was my first baby and my wife was home with me, if I was alone with a toddler I don't think I could do it. Once we got the go ahead to increase his time we were able to move to full time breastfeeding pretty quickly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362494 Thu, 19 Nov 2015 08:49:01 +0000 MrsADS 2362494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What @Annette said. My LO is 11 wks and not a preemie but had pretty severe reflux (hospitalized at 3 days old and multiple ER trips for possible aspiration and respiratory issues from the reflux).</p> <p>We see a great pediatric GI every 2 wks who's very pro BF and imo was a lot more knowledgeable about the reflux than LO's ped who basically said what you were told, switch to AR formula or add cereal to pumped BM.</p> <p>LO's GI says you can't mix cereal to thicken breastmilk, apparently it has something to do with the enzymes in BM, it doesn't break down properly. He has us use a thickener called Gelmix. It's the only thickener approved to use with BM. He strongly encouraged continuing to BF because breastmilk is easier to digest and breaks down faster than any formula. LO had (still has) issues with refluxing/vomiting 2 to 3 hours after feeds so this was important. </p> <p>I went on an elimination diet and we switched up LO's meds so he's now able to be on straight BM without the thickener. We still have to do the holding upright, he still sleeps at a steep incline, etc. </p> <p>But, he's my only baby. Dealing with your situation with a toddler.... that's tough! But maybe look into the Gelmix to mix with your BM. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362429 Thu, 19 Nov 2015 07:50:04 +0000 blackbird 2362429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: Pumping full time might be an issue, but I had read a study somewhere that said babies benefit from 4 ounces of milk and not necessarily more than that....you could even just pump 2x a day, morning and night, if you're interested. Full time pumping with a toddler+baby would not happen in my house, and I can't imagine it's very feasible in many :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362371 Thu, 19 Nov 2015 04:28:35 +0000 Annette 2362371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a reflux baby and from what I have read they can tend to do slightly better with breastfeeding as the milk digests quicker and spends less.time in their tummy which reduces spitting up. kellymom has some great articles about managing reflux which you might want to check out. That being said we has BF issues when my LO was a newborn so I was pumping around the clock and it was exhausting. I can totally understand if you want to switch to formula full or part time, a happy mama is the best choice for your baby and your toddler. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362318 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 22:56:06 +0000 Madison43 2362318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for all the feedback everyone! There are some great suggestions in here. To answer a few questions - yes, I can and will add breastmilk to her thickened formula at some point. For now, if I want to offer her breastmilk, the doctors recommend offering from the breast only - babies drink from the breast slower than a bottle and that in and of itself helps milk stay down. If I follow that with a bottle of thickened formula, it shouldn't exacerbate her reflux. I'll should be able to start adding small amounts of breastmilk to her bottle in a few weeks (sometime after her due date) and then will increase the ratio slowly based on how she tolerates it. She could end up being ok taking all breastmilk from a bottle, but she may always need a bit of thickener.</p> <p>I don't really have an emotional attachment to breastfeeding -but I do believe in the benefits of breastmilk, particularly for a preemie, and so was hoping to make something work. And because pumping kind of sucks, nursing seemed like the easiest path...until it wasn't. I think we could eventually get to a point where we were mostly nursing, but I have no idea how long that would take and be path just seems kind of daunting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362279 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 22:14:14 +0000 MrsRcCar 2362279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was an EPer with N. I made it 8ish months. I found it easier and less stressful then BFing. I had a schedule and stuck to it. It was important to me for him to be EBF for at least 6 months. I got there and then I had a great freezer stash so he got breast milk and formula until a year. </p> <p>E was a preemie and he was on the HMF along with breast milk for a bit. He began nursing like a champ around 8 weeks. Until then he nursed and would bottle feed. It was important to me that he got as much breast milk as I could provide him since he was a preemie. Once we overcame most of our hurdles he is still nursing at 21 months. </p> <p>Obviously I am not in your shoes. If you aren't set on giving up try to just EP for now and later you can bring him back to the breast. Or formula feed totally. Whatever works best for you, your LO, and your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362272 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 22:09:18 +0000 Oxana 2362272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I agree, it sounds like too much. I pumped exclusively for LO for about 10 months. Looking back, I feel like it kind of stole time and energy away from me when I could have been enjoying my LO. If I had a 2 year old at the same time and a premature LO with the health concerns you describe, my decision would be absolute. Switch to formula. Like, yesterday. Particularly since you've already built up an impressive freezer stash you can draw from. If it was super important to you to give your LO breastmilk, I honestly think it'd be better to buy breastmilk freezer stashes from local mamas than put that extra toll on your body. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362267 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 22:00:35 +0000 BSB 2362267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have two preemie babies and I think one might have reflux. I BF for a few weeks and supplemented with formula. I was barely pumping enough for one baby, let alone two. So formula was just there for us and they are on it 100% now. I didn't really have a connection to BFing and liked pumping better and spending time with my babies when I bottle feed. We are on two kinds of formula for preemies (neosure &amp; Enfacare). Baby boy had some terrible gas issues on Neosure so the Dr suggested we switch to enfacare. It's going good so far.<br /> As for pumping, I still feel guilty that I'm not pumping as much as I should. I should give them some more breast milk. </p> <p>I know my situation is different from yours.</p> <p>I would suggest seeing if you could add some powder formula to your BM. We fortified my BM with HMF or Neosure in the hospital and out so my BM would increase the calories to 24 cal. Regular BM is around 20 and the formula that we use is 22 cal. The babies have been gaining weight so that's why I feel like the formula is working. When I was BFing, they would nurse for 30 minutes but wake up an hour later hungry. I know they would get better getting the milk out over time but with twins it was just exhausting and feeding them formula got them to sleep longer. So as you can see I was conflicted with formula feeding and giving them BM via BFing or BM with fortifiers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362266 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:59:42 +0000 blackbird 2362266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm overwhelmed looking at that schedule. I don't think I could or would commit to that! Holy work! I might give it a week but I would cut myself a lot of slack if it didn't progress quickly! Be kind to yourself </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362243 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:43:46 +0000 Charm54 2362243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would EP a bit longer until it got to be a PITA then I would switch to formula feeding.</p> <p>That's kind of what in doing with DD2, I'm EPing again but am prepared to stop at any time when it becomes overwhelming and switch to formula. So far it's going really well though. I EPed with DD1 and supplemented quite a bit with formula....she turned out great so I have a lot less guilt doing whatever is best/easiest for our family this time around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362234 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:39:49 +0000 macintosh 2362234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you considered nursing part time? I have low supply issues so my DS has been supplemented with formula since the beginning. </p> <p>At first nursing was hard and he fell asleep a lot. He also took forever to drink a bottle so it was tough. The doc and LC told me to pump to boost my supply, but I just didn't have time. When he got good at nursing I would nurse before every bottle feeding. Now that he's over 6 months he doesn't like to nurse during the day much, but he still nurses at night and for comfort. It's a nice fallback to have, like when i was running errands and out longer than I expected without a bottle. Good luck with whatever you decide! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362202 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:28:44 +0000 Littlebit7 2362202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd try it? Your supply will be established in two more months and then you can maybe start to drop some pumps. You can supplement also if you arent producing enough. I switched from BF to exclusively pumping and I'm down to three pumps per day. Only the middle of the day pump is a drag. I liked breastfeeding but my anxiety was much lower knowing exactly how many ounces she is consuming. </p> <p>ETA: I just read you have a two year old. That's a dynamic I can't speak to and I could easily guess why you feel overwhelmed. I would too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362200 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:28:17 +0000 Eko 2362200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally, I would try to breastfeed until it no longer felt like it was worth it. If you already feel over it then I'd formula feed. But, if you feel like you can commit to it longer I would. It sounds like to me though you're almost decided on just formula feeding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362185 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:21:40 +0000 twodoghouse 2362185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you still have the freezer stash or did you use it up? A friend of mine thickened her breast milk for her son with severe reflux. I can't remember what she used to thicken it, though. I would probably use up the freezer stash (thickening that, if possible), then go to either all formula or nurse with supplementing formula if you're not interested in pumping all the time. I think there's a prevalent attitude that formula supplementation is a death knell for nursing, but I combo fed my twins for the first year, then got them off formula at 13 months and onto whole milk, but continued to nurse. At almost 19 months we still have a wonderful nursing relationship. They got the benefits of breastmilk (I was encouraged to nurse through their first cold &amp; flu season because of the benefit of my antibodies by our ped) but relied on formula to gain weight (they were born full term but small). If you're interested in talking more about my experience combo feeding just post to my wall and we can chat. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362180 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:18:45 +0000 Mrs. Peanut 2362180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have experience with this, but I think I would try BF. If it's what you wanted to do initially, why stop? At least you won't be heartbroken if it doesn't work out and your LO needs formula. The way I see it is no harm no foul. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362179 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:18:29 +0000 gracecat 2362179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Eh... If it isn't such a big deal to you personally I would just switch to formula. I mostly breastfed until LO was past 2 and I feel like it was overrated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362174 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:15:32 +0000 Rocker2014 2362174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you mix the Enfamil AR powder with breast milk? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362172 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:14:12 +0000 MrsSRS 2362172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS was a preemie with similar issues, but he was my first. I don't know what I would have done if it had been DD with trouble when I had a toddler at home. What helped us: zantac, baby wearing so baby could be held upright but I didn't have to stop what I was doing, sleeping and resting in a Rock N Play, gas drops. Here's another option: try feeding an ounce of pumped breastmilk, then the rest of the feed thickened formula. If she does fine with that, you can increase the amount of breastmilk until she doesn't need the thickener. That way she gets breastmilk but you can pump when it works for you. Then you can switch to nursing if you like. Or try alternating a nursing feed with a thickened feed. If it doesn't work for her reflux, reevaluate. She's past her due date now, so you might see a sudden change in her feeding ability. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362167 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:07:41 +0000 Kemma 2362167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think MrsGreenGrass would be a good person to chat too because I know she has a similar story re: nursing, reflux and her prem baby, hopefully she'll chime in!</p> <p>I guess the question is whether you're in a place where you'll be mentally and emotionally ok with not nursing and I think you have to choose the option that's best for your sanity - good luck whichever way you choose! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362140 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 20:47:58 +0000 hilsy85 2362140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally, I would probably exclusively pump for as long as you felt able to, i.e. it was working for you and your family, especially with an older kid at home (and if that length of time ended up being just one more day, I'd feel ok about that, considering that she will already be getting breastmilk that you have frozen). I don't think that I would have the motivation to jump through all those hoops to get her back on the breast, and I say this as someone who nursed my first LO for 18 months. </p> <p>You could also try it for a week--or some other length of time, and just commit to that time frame and re evaluate at that point. Either way, you are doing a great job and great to hear that she is home! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362139 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 20:47:46 +0000 Maysprout 2362139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd give it a low pressure try. You seem like you're not 100% about stopping but you also don't sound like you'll be frustrated if it doesn't work out. So if you give it a try you might get a more clear picture of what's right for the two of you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-nursing-worth-it-in-this-circumstances#post-2362127 Wed, 18 Nov 2015 20:36:06 +0000 Madison43 2362127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know that this is ultimately a personal decision but I change my mind daily so I'm crowd sourcing some opinions. </p> <p>The story is that LO2 was born at 34 weeks, spent 4 weeks in the NICU and was released this past Friday. While she was in the NICU, I was pumping round the clock to build a supply - resulting in a pretty good start on a freezer stash (hundreds of ounces so far). For the first 3 weeks, she exclusively had expressed breastmilk, either through a tube or a bottle. However, she was a reluctant eater and was exhibiting signs of reflux, which in turn was causing some breathing/heartrate issues. Her doctors recommended that we switch from breastmilk to enfamil AR, with the hope that the thickened formula would stay down better and resolve the more important issues (ie breathing and heart rate). So we switched, it resolved her issues and we were discharged 5 days later. Yay! </p> <p>At the end of the day, she doesn't have to stay on formula forever - most preemies outgrow these issues, so it's just a matter of waiting it out. Her doctors have said that if I want, I can start nursing her for 5 mins each feed and then give a bottle of formula, gradually increasing the length of nursing sessions and decreasing the amount of formula, depending on how the reflux responds. Additionally, after she eats, she needs to be held upright for 30 mins and then I would need to pump to maintain a normal supply. I also have a 2 year old. This seems completely overwhelming to me. </p> <p>My first LO was formula fed, so part of me wants to throw in the towel, commit to formula, celebrate my new free time, and use my freezer stash to supplement her bottles once she's ready. On the other hand, I worked really hard to build my supply over the past month and it sucks to walk away from that. Plus, I think because LO2 was premature, I really wanted her to have breastmilk for as long as possible. </p> <p>I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here, I'm just curious as to what others would do under these circumstances.... </p>