https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 24 Jun 2026 11:56:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416626 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 10:05:49 +0000 DillonLion 2416626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: @Applesandbananas: Agreed. Most of it is about as hard as I expected, but the relentless, endless nature of it all is nothing I could have prepared for. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416554 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:46:04 +0000 snowjewelz 2416554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's more or less what I expected. I'm also a worse case scenario kinda person, and I have pretty realistic expectations going in, and also knowing how hard BF can be, baby can be colicky, have reflux, etc etc. The hard days are really hard, but overall, I don't think it was harder than I imagined. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416419 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 08:15:00 +0000 JoJoGirl 2416419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say harder, mostly because I thought I would enjoy it more. Everyone says "oh, it's different when they're you're own" or "you love them so much you don't mind the hard parts"... I don't always find that to be true? I didn't lose my identity as much as I'd hoped ;) or it would've been easier if I'd felt like they are my whole world/all I need. But.... that's not true at all. I am the same person, just with a much harder life :) I never experienced any of that stuff about 'my life started when she was born'. Nope. I was just tired and bleeding when she was born, and there was a baby there.</p> <p>It was also MUCH MUCH harder on my marriage than I ever could have anticipated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416417 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 08:11:19 +0000 lamariniere 2416417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my first LO, having a newborn was much MUCH harder than expected. @regberadaisy: We kind of had the same newborn/young baby experience. Nothing could have prepared me for the constant sleep deprivation! I also agree with @looch: about the emotional aspect. I've always been a little emotional, but now I feel like I'm extremely sensitive! The baby days were rough on me. </p> <p>But now that I have a 5yo and a 2yo, I find that by and large, most days are pretty good. :happy: I nannied a little girl from age 4 to 6 and I think it is a lot easier, in some ways, with my own kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416404 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 07:55:34 +0000 looch 2416404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The emotional aspect is a lot harder than I thought it would be. The easy part is the things I can solve by either a specific action (like sleep training) or with a product (like potty training). The hard part is the things like dealing with friends, the soft skills basically. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416326 Mon, 11 Jan 2016 00:01:56 +0000 HLK208 2416326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Easier and harder here too! The kids I use to babysit wore me out way more than my own kids do. Although, I think the kids I use to babysit also listened to me more than my kids listen to me!</p> <p>But anyway, I remember the first month into parenting, thinking we had made it through so many sleepless nights and I was still going strong! Everyone told me how horrible newborns were and it was rough but also indescribably wonderful. </p> <p>Before having children, I use to think of the "fun" things I could do with my future kids like zoo trips and vacations. I didn't understand how exhausting those thing can be. Even for the short, small trips, I'm guaranteed no sleep.</p> <p>I do feel more drained all the time than I could have ever imagined...but I also feel like my work pays off. I never thought it would be so rewarding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416316 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 23:44:46 +0000 fussygal 2416316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Easier and harder. The day-to-day is about what I expected, however I wasn't prepared for the loss of personal time. I remember it not really dawning on me until I was in labor and I was like "we'll never be alone again!!!" I'm a big introvert so even though I ADORE my kid I still need time alone to recharge and that doesn't happen very often, especially in the early days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416278 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 22:40:37 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2416278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is pretty much what I expected if not a little easier at times! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416232 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 22:01:10 +0000 Eko 2416232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and no. I find that with my son things are what I expected. I expected him to be a challenge and one of the greatest things I'd love. I think what I didn't expect is how I would change. Being more than just a mom is hard. Being a wife, a friend, a worker, a family member, etc. is hard when being a mom takes up so much energy. I continually surprise myself at what I'm capable of doing since I became a mom. So being more proud of myself isn't what I expected. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416191 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 21:22:34 +0000 jape14 2416191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 16mo and, on the whole, it's been easier than I expected. He had reflux initially and was a pretty crappy sleeper until we sleep trained around 4 months. I would say he was hard/high maintenance for the first 4 months, but since then, he's definitely been pretty easy - sleeps well, eats well, easygoing temperament, and generally just fun - and even creeps into the "trick baby" category. I had a lot of babysitting experience growing up but was not really into playing with kids and found that part of babysitting excruciatingly boring. I have been shocked at how much I genuinely enjoy playing with DS; even reading the same book 10 million times in a row doesn't bother me because he enjoys it so much! </p> <p>But, we'll see when he hits the two/three stage - we will probably totally eat our words! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416159 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 20:59:07 +0000 erinbaderin 2416159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both. I found the sleep deprivation and that kind of thing easier than I imagined, but the emotional part was harder - the relentless need of a new baby, and the sudden and complete lack of personal time. I had a very hard time managing that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416131 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 20:33:04 +0000 wrkbrk 2416131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Haha I had a similar moment recently. A few days after we got home from the hospital with DS I was playing hip hop while I took a shower and was all of a sudden like wait. Can I still like this??! I'm a MOM now! Hahaha. Nope - still the same old me ... with a baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416130 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 20:32:14 +0000 regberadaisy 2416130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure what I was expecting to be honest. I sure did not expect the baby stage to be SO tough. Dd1 barely napped, bedtime took hours every night. Her witching "hour" was more like 3 hours, she slept in 2 hour stretched well into 8 months old or so. Then I feared but thought for sure #2 would be a good sleeper. Her night sleep is infinitely better than her big sis at the same age but her naps suck. She naps for 30 minutes on the weekend unless it's a cat nap.</p> <p>I also naively thought my in laws would want to be much more involve. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416125 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 20:26:27 +0000 wrkbrk 2416125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pickle: I was going to write the same thing as you! But I don't want to jinx it!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416122 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 20:23:27 +0000 catomd00 2416122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's easier than I expected and more rewarding than I thought. I never could have imagined how much I could love another person before dd was born! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416120 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 20:21:09 +0000 LindsayLou 2416120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's what I expected, but also both easier and harder. I feel like parenting and having a baby has magnified everything. I've always liked kids, and worked for years as a nanny and doing childcare. So the care stuff seems easy. Finding our routine was easy. The worrying is hard, but I expected that.</p> <p>I expected to enjoy it, but didn't know just how fulfilled and simultaneously exhausted I would be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416081 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 19:37:15 +0000 youboots 2416081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I'm a worst case scenario thinker so I am rarely disappointed because it could always be worse. My Mom owned a daycare that I was free child labor for until I left for college. So I was well versed in diapering, sleeping, cooking and all the fun stuff. I had very little expectations, and she's just awesome. The hard things are few compared to the good. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416080 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 19:32:04 +0000 Beth24 2416080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD is only 16 months but so far it's been a bit easier than I thought it would be. She's a pretty easy going kid so far..she definitely has cranky moments but she's a great eater and sleeper. I think it actually helped that I worked 2 jobs, 7 days a week for many years leading up her birth. I quit the part time serving job I was doing on the weekends so it's really nice to stay home and hang out with her instead of going to work (while still having the balance of working during the week) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416072 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 19:22:50 +0000 runnerd 2416072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess, because DH and I are introverted, I thought we would have a calm child. He is very vocal both when happy and sad, and often that changes from minute to minute. I can't believe how chill my friends' kids' "sad" is compared to his. But his extroverted side is a joy to watch as he doesn't know a stranger, and is literally the friendliest 12-18 month old I have ever met. He brings smiles every where he goes, and forces me out of my comfort zone in public.</p> <p>ETA: I also was not prepared for bad sleeper past 6-7 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416071 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 19:20:51 +0000 Miss Ariel 2416071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: yes to this! I thought as a parent I'd be way more grown up, things like enjoying waking up early, but that def never happened. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416067 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 19:06:38 +0000 gingerbebe 2416067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The infant stage was way more difficult than I ever imagined, but we had a really tough baby. We had a bad start (long failed induction, emergency C-section, jaundice, NICU, my milk didn't come in for a week), so by the time we got home I hadn't slept in almost a week. </p> <p>Then my DS ended up being a colicky baby with reflux so he was constantly screaming, puking, and unhappy. And he never slept. Because of his condition, I was on a total elimination diet for the first 6 months and we ended up supplementing with formula because I had low supply no matter what I did. The lack of sleep led to PPD and PPA, which sucked hard.</p> <p>Also son, who is his own person, did not like ANYTHING they tell you newborns or reflux babies like. He effectively threw all our preconceived parenting notions out the window. He didn't like being swaddled, he didn't like nursing, he wasn't cuddly or clingy, he didn't like being worn, he hated his rock n' play, he didn't like cosleeping, and he slept WAY better in his own room, sprawled out in his crib. He's also not a laidback kid - he doesn't like sleeping on the go, he needs a strict schedule, and he gets easily overstimulated. He is an introvert and actually needs a lot of quiet play and independent play - he used to cry a lot when people would get in his face and coo or make baby sounds at him.</p> <p>Once we figured those things out, got past his reflux, and sleep trained, things have been more "normal." Our life revolves around his schedule, but he's so happy when we stick to the routine that we have no issue with it. Plus he's 16 months old now, so its not really that bad - its just 1 nap a day and a firm bedtime we have to worry about. </p> <p>DS2 is coming in May and I have no idea how that is going to go, but I really hope he's an easier infant than DS was! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416020 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 18:28:09 +0000 hummusgirl 2416020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: "Relentless" is a good way to put it. </p> <p>When I used to babysit as a teenager, sometimes I'd look at the clock, exhausted already by the kids, and see that only seven minutes had passed since the parents left. I thought it would be different with my own kids, but it's not! I do love being a parent though, and I know this stage with very young kids is short in the grand scheme of things and I'll miss it one day.</p> <p>ETA it's also way more fun than I thought, and I don't miss most of the trappings of my former life (eating out, going to bars/concerts/shows etc.). Been there, done that - the playground is where it's at now and I'm way more okay with that than I thought I'd be. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2416016 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 18:26:38 +0000 sarac 2416016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Easier by far. I think I just make easy children, so far. My 4 year old has been a little more difficult lately, and the second child has been a bit hard on my marriage. But overall I'd say it's a lot easier and more fun than I'd imagined. Having a really involved spouse helps enormously. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2415972 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 17:37:51 +0000 Applesandbananas 2415972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's much more relentless than I imagined. There are no breaks from anything. Even after he goes to bed, I'm still tidying, doing laundry or dishes or prepping for the next day. Then it is a mad dash out the day, the rush to work, then rush to daycare and scramble to cook dinner and hang out for a few minutes and then it's the bedtime shenanigans and then tidying and the bed and repeat. Weekends aren't much easier because there are chores to do with him underfoot and I'm always trying to come up with new activities and I end up coming to work Monday more exhausted than when I left on Friday!</p> <p>But, I also didn't expect to be so heart-swellingly proud of all of his accomplishments and so amused by his personality. I knew I'd be head over heels, but I'm just always in awe of him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2415960 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 17:23:06 +0000 Cherrybee 2415960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The day to day is exactly as I thought it would be, but I thought *I* would change. And I haven't. I thought I would take pleasure from different things and no longer covet the freedoms I used to enjoy because parenting would be everything I needed. But actually, I'm still me. Im just plain old me with extra responsibility, less time and food on my top. Shoulda seen that coming, I guess! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2415959 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 17:22:06 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2415959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So far it's easier than I thought it would be. Ask me again when she's a toddler! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2415955 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 17:15:34 +0000 MoonMoon 2415955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's both harder and easier in unexpected ways! Like, what I thought would be hard hasn't been, but what I thought would be easy hasn't been either!</p> <p>Mostly, I can't believe how much I like it because before becoming a parent I was a total curmudgeon, haha. But it also makes me anxious and makes think of the bigger picture in terms of family, friends, the meaning of life, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-parenting-what-you-expected#post-2415942 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 16:59:28 +0000 Bao 2415942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not even sure what I expected, but for it to be a little bit easier...I think. I was always a babysitter/nanny so I assumed it would be similar to that, but even easier since they would be my own kids and I could do things my way. Parenting is definitely life changing, and brings a lot of challenges, but of course it's a rewarding experience as well! </p> <p>When you imagined parenting before having kids, was it what you imagined? Harder/easier? </p>