https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 09 Jun 2026 10:45:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural/page/2#post-1530889 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 21:05:02 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1530889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely think that sleep training is cultural, but I'm not sure if that knowledge is enough for me to give it up! We sleep trained our LO because he really wouldn't go to sleep....it was rocking or nothing. I guess I could have gone through a year or more of babywearing but I just didn't want to! I really enjoy that time in the evening to myself. I guess I think in all cultures, in the past women's lives were more focused around chores/obligations. Marriages may not have been about companionship. A woman devoting her whole existence to tending to the children would have been perfectly normal. Nowadays women are claiming more time for themeselves and relationships are more based off mutual interest than obligation. We tend our marriages, etc. Like every other choice modern moms have to make (EBF comes to mind) t is all about balancing self vs. child.</p> <p>That being said, next time I hope to avoid CIO. I really fell hard for it because I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Now that I have a little more experience I would feel more secure choosing not to CIO. I definitely didn't feel pressured not to CIO, I was more scared out of my mind that it would never get better. Now I know that isn't true! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1530849 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 20:36:53 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1530849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a western Caucasian, non-crunchy WOHM and I didn't sleep train. I guess I would say that most of my friends did. I think it really reflects personality (which is a function of culture). Some people get really flustered without a schedule...I am a little more able to go with the flow... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1530513 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 17:14:54 +0000 illumina 1530513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in the UK and none of my friends irl have sleep trained by CIO--they have all tried gentle methods or are WIO. I feel like the odd one out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1530498 Fri, 28 Mar 2014 17:05:15 +0000 Zbug 1530498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Someone just sent me this article on culture and sleep, so I thought I'd pass it along in case anyone was interested. <a href="http://www3.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/culturalarticle.html" rel="nofollow">http://www3.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/culturalarticle.html</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493814 Fri, 14 Mar 2014 09:26:07 +0000 mrsjyw 1493814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: 100% agree and come from the same background/upbringing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493493 Fri, 14 Mar 2014 07:23:56 +0000 mynoahbear 1493493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD #1 was born in Tokyo and DD#2 was born in Beijing. In both cities, non of my local mommy friends thought much or stressed about sleep training or schedules. But the majority of my expat mommy friends were very much into creating a daily schedule and routine, as well as sleep training. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493488 Fri, 14 Mar 2014 07:18:57 +0000 ShootingStar 1493488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: When he's 13 you should totally remind him of that :P. </p> <p>IDK, some stuff is cultural, some is individual. A good friend of mine is Colombian and she sleep trained her babies with increasing amounts of CIO (5 mins, 7 mins, etc.) Not because she read it in a book, but because that's what felt right to her. Meanwhile I'm caucasian and my mom rocked my brother and I to sleep for as long as we needed it. *shrugs*</p> <p>If necessary I will sleep train DS because I need sleep and I need to be able to function at work to help support us, to be able to drive without worrying that I'm a hazard to others. But of course if he magically sleeps through the night without needing training, that would be preferable :D. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493478 Fri, 14 Mar 2014 07:11:18 +0000 Mamaof2 1493478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: Oh that's what I need! A nanny to co-sleep with my 5 year old! He told me last night he was gonna sleep with me until he was 13! :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493357 Fri, 14 Mar 2014 00:48:34 +0000 Mrs. Chipmunk 1493357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I go to a parent baby class at the hospital, and the instructors are very much AAP-guideline based and follow what your heart tells you is right. I joined another mom group at the 0-3 month mark, and I was really surprised the total shift in thinking with those moms that weren't connected with my hospital groups - one example was they were already doing cry it out at less than 3 months. I'm not saying cry it out is wrong by any means, (perhaps it's more appropriate/effective after 3 months) but it was interesting to see how the parenting styles differed so much. The hospital group isn't "crunchy" by any means, but I would say they lean more toward the attachment parenting approach and the other group I joined was the complete opposite.</p> <p>There was a tiny thread a few days ago about vampire babies, and one poster mentioned her LO's bedtime was around 1-1:30am.....until she had to go back to work. CIO seems to be a necessary route to go when going back to work, and @SEA_BASS I totally agree that it goes hand in hand with placing a higher value on women and their well-being - but so too would dad waking up in the middle of the night to help. In a lot of situations both parents work 8 hour shifts the next day, but the night wake ups are often left to mom. Perhaps moms are evolutionarily able to cope with it better than men, though </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493349 Fri, 14 Mar 2014 00:24:41 +0000 Rockies11 1493349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I live in Canada and I think here it's more variable because of a longer mat leave - some people do, lots of people don't. It's still maybe slightly weird to not do it at all, but not that weird that it's really crunchy. We haven't and aren't planning to and no one really thinks that's a bad thing. Overall I also think there's less scheduling, especially with really young babies. Like babywise and happiest baby on the block and so forth are things that I have only heard of on the internet. I don't think it's a bad cultural thing, more of a necessity when you're going back to work and need to be a hundred percent right away! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493332 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 23:49:00 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1493332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Zbug: ugh I so agree! There are no rules. If nursing to sleep is fine with you then it won't harm your baby. If its not then that's good too. I have seen good outcomes from both approaches. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493328 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 23:46:38 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1493328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@loveisstrange: that's so amazing! See it sounds to me like you have the perfect baby for your needs. I totally get people needing their space too. To me it really is fine to do either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493325 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 23:43:25 +0000 QBbride 1493325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Chipmunk: I agree.</p> <p>I think sleep training is definitely a "western" thing... and also depends on when you're going back to work and need to be well rested etc. I read a lot about sleep training here on HB but among my friends and another message board I follow, sleep training is super rare. But we live in Canada and have a year of mat leave, so I think MOTN wakeups aren't as big a deal when you're not going to work the next day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493317 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 23:35:15 +0000 Zbug 1493317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: ordered! Thank you :) And I agree with you - I'm really trying to block out what some people say you should or should not do and just concentrate on what feels right for my family. It's hard because you want to be a good mama, so it can sometimes be easy to get swept up in what people say you need to do (even if it doesn't feel like it's the best fit for your family). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493232 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 22:13:19 +0000 immabeetoo 1493232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Zbug: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Eskimos-Keep-Their-Babies-Warm/dp/156512958X" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Eskimos-Keep-Their-Babies-Warm/dp/156512958X</a> I mentioned in a past thread that I think this book is the only "must read" for preggos. it basically says exactly what you said, with interesting anecdotes and qualitative research. </p> <p>Specific to what you said, I also think people tend to forget that every baby/toddler/child is a tiny person, with their own personality and quirks. The threads on "what would you do different" where person A swears up and down they won't nurse to sleep, or do X Y or Z frustrate me a little because when I was pregnant, I read them fervently like they had all the knowledge. If that makes any sense! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493188 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 21:38:48 +0000 Zbug 1493188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Twine: sure :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493168 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 21:28:44 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1493168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Zbug: Can I hug you (once I'm done making sure you're not hanging around in my head)? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1493150 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 21:22:07 +0000 Zbug 1493150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: haha fair enough. </p> <p>This is really interesting. It kind of makes me feel better about the whole sleep thing though. People all around the world have extremely different perspectives and beliefs when it comes to raising babies, yet we all generally turn out okay. (kind of like in the documentary "Babies."). I think it's ultimately about figuring out what works for you and your family. If sleep training results in happier, well rested parents and baby, great. If the idea of sleep training doesn't feel right for you, no problem. I think we tend to get too caught up in the "rules" - don't nurse to sleep, move baby to own room by six months, etc - instead of realizing there isn't one right way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1492966 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 20:10:59 +0000 immabeetoo 1492966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Isn't most everything :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1492953 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 20:07:42 +0000 JennyD 1492953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I asked my Colombian assistant. She asked what sleep training is. I explained. She furrowed her eyebrows and said "why would you do that?" So I'm going with, yes, cultural. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1492842 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 19:23:00 +0000 Ginabean3 1492842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was born in Taiwan ( didn't come here until I was one) and I was sleep trained! And my mom gave me formula! And I don't think she ever wore me. :wink: this was early 80s. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1492819 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 19:13:21 +0000 MoonMoon 1492819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is, and a modern idea as well. Families having separate spaces to sleep is not something that's always existed.</p> <p>ETA: and before the invention of bottles and formula, mothers or nannies/wet nurses probably had to stay nearby out of necessity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1492816 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 19:10:52 +0000 junebugmama 1492816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hubby's family is from Peru. No one sleep trained. They mostly all co-bed as well. Half of the family is very well off, and when the Moms decided to stop co-sleeping, a lot of times they had nanny's who would. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1492809 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 19:09:10 +0000 meredithNYC 1492809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think as others have pointed out, it is done in other places, though not necessarily as a named and (over)analyzed "practice". I think even in the U.S. it's become more of a "thing" in recent years. My mom sleep trained me, though she was not familiar with that phrase. She's like, yeah, we let you cry once you were a few months old and knew you were still waking out of habit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1492772 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 18:54:28 +0000 gingerbebe 1492772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm Korean and I think the whole co-sleeping thing happened more often in the past in my culture naturally as a function of there just not being enough room in the home to do anything else. Multiple generations could live under the same roof. </p> <p>Space is a premium in Asian homes and even in middle class families today, siblings still share rooms all the time. My relatives in Korea are relatively well off and they mostly live in 1,000-1,200 sq. foot, 2 bedroom apartments as a family of 4. If you have elderly folks living with your or if you have a school aged child that need to go to school living in that small of a space, CIO just doesn't work and room-sharing with the parents becomes the norm.</p> <p>Personally, I room-shared with my parents as a baby in Korea because they had a single room at my grandparents house to live in. But I didn't have a family bed - I had my own crib. Because my Dad had to go to work in the morning, CIO wasn't really an option. And breastfeeding and babywearing were seen as normal because it was cheaper, my mom was a SAHM, and my mom needed to be able to do chores during the day. So either she or my grandmother would strap me on and go about their day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1492761 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 18:45:52 +0000 MamaMoose 1492761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Chipmunk: I agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1492745 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 18:38:05 +0000 Anagram 1492745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know, my husband is not American and although his family hadn't heard of the term "cry it out" or Ferber, his parents visited for a month and said they could teach my baby to sleep through the night.</p> <p>Their method was basically the shush pat method but with constant paci reinsertions. It didn't work on my LO, but I guess it worked on their kids.</p> <p>They are south Asian.</p> <p>I would call it sleep training but they definitely don't have books and Internet forums devoted to doing it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1492696 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 18:14:12 +0000 Greentea 1492696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it is very American. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1492669 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 18:04:03 +0000 sea_bass 1492669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Chipmunk: I wouldn't strictly agree. In wealthy areas where there are a lot of SAHMs infants typically seem to be sleep trained. Not because mothers are necessarily going back to work but because their well being is valued. By themselves and by others. It's perfectly acceptable to sleep train weather you're going back to work or not where I am. </p> <p>But I'm splitting hairs. That value on women's well being has certainly come about since more women are working outside of the home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-sleep-training-cultural#post-1492639 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 17:58:29 +0000 Mrs. Chipmunk 1492639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think sleep training is something that evolved in the US (and other parts of the world) out of necessity in going back to the workforce earlier than other areas </p>