https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 14:50:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos/page/2#post-223648 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 09:49:59 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 223648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really so much in my family (personality issues aside), but we thought long and hard about what we would accept from a mental health perspective for an adopted baby. Ultimately, we realized that most EVERY family has significant mental health issues and that we would accept much more than we originally thought we would :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos/page/2#post-223514 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 08:50:52 +0000 mrbee 223514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: you raised some interesting points! I'd be interested in hearing your further thoughts in a separate boards post. It's tricky to follow trains of thought in the comments sometimes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-223456 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 07:59:13 +0000 spaniellove 223456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eiko2010: Person-first language is a huge step forward. I know the autism community is divided, but that's another story. Not everyone can see why introducing new terminology is important and sometimes the response hurts, but every little bit helps! BTW, I used to be a teacher in North Philly, not terribly far from you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-223403 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 07:24:46 +0000 spaniellove 223403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: I'm saying this from having been there too, in ways that almost took my life. When we say "illness" unfortunately the images it evokes are not technical and medical; for a lot of people it implies old-school, "in one's head", sicknesses. And we need to move on from that - clinical depression is not made up, it's not something to "get over". </p> <p>When I tried to get help for my depression as a teenager, my parents refused, saying that being labeled mentally ill would ruin my life forever. My school counselor had to tell them that no, dying from depression ruins your life forever. Ideas like theirs aren't going to change no matter what the terminology, but I can't stand the thought that such stigmatized language is keeping people from getting the help they need. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-223392 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 07:08:36 +0000 Rubies 223392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: I've reread all your responses and I understand the point your're trying to make in changing the terminology ...I just meant in my last comment that the word "illness" was appropriate for me at the time. Am I still wrong? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-223380 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 07:02:20 +0000 spaniellove 223380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: I think you misunderstood my point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-223376 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 06:55:19 +0000 Rubies 223376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: Even though depression is common, I don't think it makes it less important. I was diagnosed as clinically depressed at one point in my life and it WAS an illness to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-223372 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 06:51:12 +0000 Rubies 223372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, depression. From me. :( I hope LO grows up to avoid this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-223332 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 02:41:54 +0000 808love 223332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>depression </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222854 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 15:29:55 +0000 MrsMccarthy 222854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mothers mother was schitzophrenic, my father is manic-depressive, my sister is a depressive and i have ADHD. My husbands mom is on anti depressents. she suffers from anxiety. My husband and his father both are not diagnosed with anything but have anger management issues. neither are physically violent or abusive but both are prone to unreasonable levels of anger and impatience that can lead to rude verbal outbursts and irrational behavior. I personally feel like most people deal with some form of something so growing up with awareness is gonna help us to manage anything that comes up for our child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222852 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 15:29:14 +0000 sandy 222852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and yes :(. It makes me so sad that I try not to think about it too much</p> <p>Husband's side - severe depression in his mother's family - led to suicide. Bipolar disorder and and severe anxiety that led to being committed to a mental institution several times. Both on his mother and father's side - severe alcoholism and drug abuse.</p> <p>My side - alcoholism, OCD, my aunt is a hoarder (seriously), severe depression leading to suicide attempts...it is too sad to think about </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222846 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 15:24:00 +0000 littlebug 222846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: Sorry, I must have missed your suggestion of disorders! I agree that that terminology could be appropriate, as well, if only our society could accept the fact that these illnesses/disorders are real and not "in their heads" as far too many people claim. I wasn't disagreeing with you, just trying to better understand.</p> <p>ETA: I, for one, am a big proponent of using person-first phrasing, like saying "She has Bipolar" or "He has Schizophrenia" rather than the more common "He's schizophrenic." But it's a battle I've been fighting for 10+ years and not getting anywhere. Just keep fighting the good fight! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222839 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 15:21:23 +0000 Mrsbells 222839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>on my side yes, but not on DH's side </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222835 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 15:20:40 +0000 cyndistar3 222835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>On my side there's a lot of depression and dh is adopted but we know his birthmom is bipolar. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222833 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 15:17:38 +0000 spaniellove 222833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eiko2010: As I've suggested before, psychological disorders. I'm aware that this doesn't satisfy posters here. All I've been trying to do is suggest a more modern way of speaking about health, so I give up now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222814 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 15:02:57 +0000 littlebug 222814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My paternal grandmother had Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia. My paternal grandfather had alcoholism. My dad's uncle has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was diagnosed with PTSD after I was raped 10 years ago. So there is a fair amount on my side of the family. Hubs' side doesn't have anything officially, but there are definitely some undiagnosed disorders floating around in there. The two social workers and the psych grad student in the family all agree on that! </p> <p>@spaniellove: I agree with you about stigmatization and negative images being associated with mental illness, and I wish there was a way to correct this in our society. However, like others have pointed out, things like Major Depressive Disorder, Schizophrenia, etc, are illnesses that require proper diagnosis, treatment, and, in many cases, medication. Just like cancer or end-stage renal disease. There is a big difference between someone being depressed and someone having MDD. What else would you propose calling them? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222784 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 14:49:58 +0000 bushelandapeck 222784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and yes. Both sides have major depression and generalized anxiety disorder and my side also has eating disorders and bipolar disorder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222758 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 14:31:44 +0000 spaniellove 222758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I think we're both getting at the same thing here, that this is a valid medical condition. </p> <p>We live in a time when science is moving towards a better understanding of psych disorders as having a neurological/chemical basis, with appropriate treatments, but the language and common understanding haven't caught up yet and that needs to change. Hopefully in all the terms floating around they will pick one that works. (As an example, MR is being dropped in favor of "intellectual disability".) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222751 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 14:29:25 +0000 Minnie_Girl 222751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, my dad's side has a remarkably high rate of depression and other mental illnesses. For some reason my dad, his brothers, and that generation got hit really hard. </p> <p>@mrbee: It's absolutely true that many people don't think mental illness is real. Which is (excuse the pun) crazy to me! There are actually close relatives who think my mom is divorcing my dad because she's having an affair. Not because she's spent the last 15 years trying to support a mentally ill man who's addicted to painkillers and won't get help. The people who don't need help are suffering from the delusion that other people don't need help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222696 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 14:03:40 +0000 mrbee 222696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: I think you raise some good points about the stigma of the word "illness," but I think there are also good reasons that the word can be appropriate. Right now, I believe that many in society don't believe that mental illness is "real," so that's a factor as well.</p> <p>If there's a way to balance any risk of stigma with the other issues mentioned, I would gladly do so. Let me know if there's a better word to use to classify depression. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222680 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:59:14 +0000 mediagirl 222680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah. My Dad's side more than anything else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222672 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:57:12 +0000 ladyfingers 222672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually don't know about my side. I was adopted, and I've gotten in contact with my birth mother so I know there's nothing on her side, but we know nothing about my birth father. I do have a history of severe depressive disorders, generalized anxiety, and manic episodes (though they were triggered by medication), as well as alcoholism and addiction. Soooo I'm willing to wager there's some of that in my genetic history. </p> <p>DH's mom went through a period of depression and agoraphobia when he was young, so I'm not sure if it's deeper in his family or not. </p> <p>With my issues, I'm just hoping I don't pass anything along. </p> <p>And I would call depression a mental illness, yes. I require treatment and medical oversight, as well as medication when I'm able to. It's more than just being "blue" -- I'm literally delusional when I'm depressed, I'm paranoid and I think people are out to get me and nobody likes me and I want to die. I wouldn't say somebody who has mild situational depression because of a death, other life circumstances, etc. is mentally ill. But for me, yes, I have a mental illness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222656 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:51:36 +0000 spaniellove 222656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: No, I'm not trying to say that depression should be treated like neurodiversity - it is a devastating thing to experience! But when people hear "mental illness", they tend to think "crazy", which is an outdated model of psych disorders and isn't fair to the person. Even the phrase mental health issues is slightly less stigmatizing. </p> <p>(By the way, there are also high rates of depression and suicidality in the autism community. It's a very difficult thing to work out.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222648 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:48:04 +0000 LuLu Mom 222648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thankfully no, however there is distant alcoholism on both sides (cousin on DH and great grandfather on my side.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222641 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:45:52 +0000 MamaMoose 222641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom and I both struggle with anxiety. But nothing excessive. We just sometimes get overwhelmed and both use xanax very sparingly as needed (I don't at the moment since I'm pregnant). But I would say that's it. I personally think some people on my husbands side of the family drink more than what I think is normal but I wouldn't classify them as alcoholic, they just make different choices than I would. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222640 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:44:55 +0000 MrsBrewer 222640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am very lucky, but there is not much mental illness on either of our sides if any. No one on my side of the family has been diagnosed with anything, and with DH side, I don't believe so either. We are very fortunate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222637 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:43:20 +0000 Sophia 222637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A few on my side of the family (including myself) have been diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety disorders. I also have a long history of eating disorders. I really, really hope that our future children don't have to struggle with any of this. I've been healthy and off of all medications for quite a few years now...and I'm super thankful I have put that behind me.</p> <p>My husband's side of the family....I could do some arm chair diagnosis, but I think it's probably best if I skip that ;) As far as I know, nobody has been diagnosed with anything.</p> <p>@mrbee: I totally agree with your thoughts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222636 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:43:08 +0000 MrsBrewer 222636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Completely agreed. Depression is very serious, and something not to take lightly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222630 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:40:28 +0000 mrbee 222630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: I support neurodiversity and would never refer to autism as a mental illness.</p> <p>But that said, major depressive disorder correlates with higher rates of suicide! I actually think we'd be better served if society recognized that depression is a real illness that can deleteriously affect and even destroy lives. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people tell depressed friends and family members to just "snap out of it." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-there-mental-illness-on-your-side-of-the-family-what-about-your-sos#post-222619 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:35:09 +0000 DillonLion 222619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: Can you elaborate on what you mean by that? </p>