https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 22:32:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2655206 Mon, 21 Nov 2016 10:44:26 +0000 Mrs. D 2655206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say wait 3 months before trying. The stress of starting a new job and proving yourself to secure your position long term hurt fertility. </p> <p>Congrats on the new job! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652892 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 06:23:55 +0000 Pollywog 2652892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd wait. I have had three coworkers get pregnant their first year on the job. It impacts how people think of them, especially if they have hard pregnancies. When my coworker was cranky because of morning sickness, I didn't know if she was just a crabby person, if I pissed her off, or if something was up. I had only known her a few months. Compare that to me who had been there 5 years. Everyone had figured out what was up. </p> <p>I'd say wait at least 3 months, if not 6. Work your butt off. Get a great reputation. Then try. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652740 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 17:05:35 +0000 Tionn3 2652740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also waited an extra 10 months before we started TTC, I too had just gotten a new job. We've been trying now for 8 months, and I really wish we had started trying when we had originally planned on our 1 year anniversary. If you're ready, I wouldn't wait any longer, it sounds like you've already been trying for a year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652718 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 15:26:08 +0000 LindsayLou 2652718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My view on this is colored by my own experience, but I wouldn't wait.</p> <p>I am young as well, 28 now, 27 when my daughter was born. I always planned to be done having kids by 30. We got married when we were 25 and 28. We waited another year to try, to give ourselves more time to get our careers in order, even though we were both ready for kids. When we finally did try, we conceived fairly quickly, but had a miscarriage before I got pregnant with my daughter. We've since had two more losses while trying to have our second baby. I know waiting was the smart financial move for us, but knowing what I know now, I don't think I'd wait. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652675 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 14:09:58 +0000 nana87 2652675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm someone who put off ttc for work reasons, and actually did so twice (the first time we waited an extra year, and the second time only 1 month). But, both times were based on concrete timelines and specific work milestones (I'm in grad school, so the first time we put off ttc for lo1 for a year so that I would finish all the requirements except dissertation + have at least 6 months to conduct research prebaby, and the second time I found out I'd be teaching a fall semester course, so I didn't want to be due during that semester). I don't think I would have waited except for a specific, task-related reason. Especially if we might need medical interventions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652669 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 14:03:23 +0000 Aimed121 2652669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: Agreed, in that I wouldn't worry about co-workers whispering in the break room - what I would worry about is not being taken as seriously by my bosses/supervisors etc. and how that can affect promotions, raises etc going forward. These factors have a very real impact on how much you will be earning in 5-10 years, lifelong earnings, retirement etc. </p> <p>It's a shame that we have to think like that and I would love to live in a world where these things don't affect your career but in the real world it really does. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652659 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 13:45:23 +0000 Ajsmommy 2652659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>**take my advice with a small grain of salt bc we had issues conceiving.. so my view might be skewed.**</p> <p>My opinion is that if you are ready and you want a baby, I wouldn't wait. Is there a chance you might get pregnant right away, sure, however there is also a pretty high chance that you won't. Then you're worry will be for naught. And postponing trying will have been for naught. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652643 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 13:18:40 +0000 Umbreon 2652643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This has given me lots to think about! AF is currently here, so I have a bit of time to decide what we're going to do. </p> <p>A year is way too long, I definitely will not wait that long. I do plan to go back to work as soon as maternity leave is up, so I do feel like I'll be able to "redeem" my reputation eventually. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652642 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 13:17:04 +0000 MaryM 2652642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: I didn't mean it exactly that way...just more as "what's your priority...your career or having a family"?</p> <p>And not so much that you can only choose one or the other and if you choose one you don't care about the other...but... what's more important to you NOW...not wanting to wait for the baby, or how people will view you?</p> <p>I was mostly reading off what I thought was coming across in the last bit of OP's post:</p> <p>"I just don't want to wait anymore on the baby thing. But I also don't want it to look bad if in 3-6 months after I start work, I announce I'm pregnant..."</p> <p>If a person really wants a family and is really ready for it, I feel like they should feel empowered to go ahead and go for it instead of worrying about what coworkers may or may not think about how dedicated they are to their job. I know mothers who are VERY dedicated and also raise children. </p> <p>I guess I'm just trying to say that if we try to wait for the perfect timing for everything to happen, we'll be waiting forever because rarely does it happen that things fall perfectly into place the way they're "supposed" to (whatever that means) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652638 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 13:06:08 +0000 Truth Bombs 2652638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: I think your statement "will you care more about how people at work view you, or about the baby you may or may not conceive? " is really unfair and overly simplistic. If someone chooses to balance setting themselves up for career success with family planning, that doesn't mean they care less about their child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652637 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 13:04:23 +0000 Aimed121 2652637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Umbreon: That's a tough one! I would say probably at least a year before TTC so that you would be there potentially 2 years before taking leave. If I were your age, I would probably wait 2-3 years before TTC - but that is just me and the age thing didn't worry me a lot (at that age) and I know that many people have different priorities.</p> <p>that said, if you are worried about having complications/issues - perhaps you could speak with a doctor now even before TTC? If you have already tried for a year, they may be able to do some tests and give you and idea. it's tough as it is such a personal choice. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652607 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 12:08:50 +0000 Umbreon 2652607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Aimed121: What would you say would be a safe amount of time, so that my reputation would not be affected?</p> <p>There's no real reason we want kids now, other than that I've had strong baby fever for two years now. I do for sure want to have my first baby before I'm 30, and I'm approaching 28. It's scary because it's already taken us a whole year, and we don't know why that is. If there are complications, I'd rather deal with it sooner than later. But everything could be fine. We won't know until we go to a doctor. But we want to try a couple more months before we do that because quite honestly, I'm terrified to find out what's wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652606 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 12:03:16 +0000 Aimed121 2652606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Umbreon: Just to play devils advocate - is there a reason you really want to start TTC right now? like age issues, # of kids you want to have mean you would have to start now etc.? The reason I ask is because in some ways I think that this depends on how seriously you want to be taken at your new job. I am not suggesting that taking leave means that you are not serious, but unfortunately it pays to be realistic as to how it would be perceived and you may get "mommy-tracked" before you have had time to build up your reputation - especially considering you will have such a long maternity leave (jealous of that btw!). That said, if it is really in your heart, you know the answer - it just may have some professional consequences depending on your work environment. :goodluck: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652603 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 11:58:57 +0000 Tionn3 2652603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Umbreon: I wouldn't feel bad. I think there needs to be an improved work life balance, especially here in the U.S. I think the more women / men that don't let companies get in the way of their family plans, the more likely companies are to get that they can't run the personal lives of their employees. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652423 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 22:11:32 +0000 Umbreon 2652423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I should have specified - I would be eligible for benefits immediately, and I'm in Canada and would qualify for the year maternity leave as well. </p> <p>My position wouldn't be hard to fill either, I wouldn't need to train anyone for my replacement. So that does make things easier. I also have full intentions of returning to work after the leave full time. </p> <p>I just feel bad, you know? But at the same time, it was a really long year of trying. DH was annoyed I applied for some new jobs in the first place, but I felt like the opportunities were here now and I couldn't pass it up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652321 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 17:30:32 +0000 Tionn3 2652321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think your idea is already a good one. Try naturally until January, in January if no luck schedule a Doctor appointment. The only reason why I would wait is if there is some kind of probationary period where you won't have access to benefits like health insurance. If you have benefits right from the get go, I would keep doing what you're doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652297 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 16:59:15 +0000 youboots 2652297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We waited until DH was at his new job for 3 months before TTC so he would be eligible for leave- if ended up not mattering to us- so I'd look up if you qualify for FMLA based on the size of company etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652294 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 16:50:10 +0000 bubblegum 2652294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When do your benefits kick in? Do you already have insurance? At my job we had a new girl start and maybe a month later announce she was pregnant. She was older (her first baby) and my bosses we're fine with it. But then again we're a small company. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652287 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 16:41:50 +0000 catomd00 2652287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd wait until you're eligible for all benefits before trying, just in case you get preg the first month. I got pregnant after 6 months at a new job, and would be missing my busiest time of the year for maternity leave. No one had an issue with it and all were happy for me. I guess it depends on the workplace and your supervisors, but there's no way to know until you go through it I guess. I would never postpone my life plans for work though, except to become eligible for benefits! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652284 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 16:36:13 +0000 MaryM 2652284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only reason I'd wait is if I'd need to in order to be eligible for benefits I'd NEED (time off, insurance, etc). </p> <p>Otherwise, I don't think people should put work ahead of life goals. In the end, will you care more about how people at work view you, or about the baby you may or may not conceive? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652277 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 16:31:52 +0000 raspberries 2652277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure where you're located (or if you're working for a company that qualifies for FMLA), but if it's in the US, I'd just wait the initial three months to make sure you qualify for leave and then start TTC again. I think any waiting after that would just be arbitrary - if you let work dictate when to TTC, there will always be reasons to put it off. I think more people kick themselves for putting off trying to conceive than going for it immediately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-bad-idea-1#post-2652271 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 16:23:59 +0000 Umbreon 2652271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi everyone. I'd taken a bit of a break from here the past few months (I also changed my name, but kept my avatar for now so some of you might recognize me) but I had posted a few months ago about applying for a job, and I ended up getting it! I start next week (it was a slow process!) and I'm excited!</p> <p>While I went through the interview process and everything, we put off TTC. Before that, we'd been trying about a year with no luck. I was even ready to make an appointment with my doctor when I got a call about an interview. So we put things on hold.</p> <p>What I'm thinking now, is we would continue to try once I start my job. If nothing happens by January, make an appointment to see a doctor then.</p> <p>Is that a bad idea considering I'd be fairly new at a job? Should we continue to put off TTC altogether in case we luck out right away?</p> <p>I don't know what to do. DH and I want a baby. We are so ready for it. This job was important for our future (the job security is 100 times better than what I had). I just don't want to wait anymore on the baby thing. But I also don't want it to look bad if in 3-6 months after I start work, I announce I'm pregnant... </p>