https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 09:14:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065697 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 08:20:49 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2065697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband will be in classes 2-3 nights a week up until the week before my due date (he's going to see if he can take his exams early, so he'll be done 2 weeks before). He goes back to class 2 weeks after my due date, 2-3 nights a week again. We both work full time- he'll have 2 weeks of paternity leave and I'll have 4-6 weeks of maternity leave. It's not ideal, but we'll make it work.</p> <p>It sounds like your husband really won't be missing that much time away from home by taking his class- possibly a few days after the baby is born, but that's it. He might miss just as much staying late at work or going out with friends a few times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065626 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 07:29:39 +0000 ValentineMommy 2065626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's only a few weeks, even if you go a bit early and two nights a week. I would let him finish. Much better to do it now and get it over with! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065423 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 22:00:32 +0000 MamaBehr 2065423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband was in business school when our first came. Because she was late his finals put her at about a week old. He ended up getting a hotel room for that week because he needed to rest. It was hard, but totally doable. It was just the beginning of "hard." And, in hindsight it was not a big deal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065411 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 21:49:53 +0000 jedeve 2065411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It will be tough either way. But I know I would be soooo much more exhausted having to deal with a one year old by myself 3x a week for weeks on end. </p> <p>I had a friend who had to take law school finals a week after his second kid was born! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065251 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 19:28:44 +0000 sarac 2065251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I'd try and make it work if it's something beneficial to his career or whatever. You might need to get creative at the end, but it'll still be far easier than doing it with a kid in the house. Hands down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065095 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 17:03:19 +0000 blackbird 2065095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Reese: haha! Honestly, he is *SO CLOSE* to being done and I am so happy for that that it's just the last stretch for me. He has these two classes this fall, the summer off, then one class in the fall and one in the spring and he's DONE so I have my eyes on the prize :) I really hate the every other Saturday classes right now...sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065091 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 17:00:00 +0000 CakeLady 2065091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He should do the class. If you can plan for family or friends to come visit and bring you dinner on the nights he is away, that will make it easier. There were lots of people who wanted to visit when DS was pretty new and I scheduled them for nights when DH had late work. It gave me a little break, a good meal, and some adult company. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065084 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 16:57:53 +0000 .twist. 2065084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely have him finish. You're a tough cookie and I know you'll make it work. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065065 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 16:52:20 +0000 Modern Daisy 2065065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It will only be harder for him to take it if he waits. It will be tough the first couple of weeks but with you being home on mat leave it's totally doable! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065058 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 16:48:08 +0000 plantains 2065058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Reese: I think you are right to be nervous because it is hard when you don't know what to expect! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065044 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 16:33:10 +0000 Reese 2065044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: I am pretty sure it wouldn't be a problem but that is one of the reasons we thought that maybe DH would stay home the first 2 weeks and then my mom would stay the 2 weeks after that (so she could give her office notice) but I haven't talked to her about that.</p> <p>@blackbird: You have such a kick ass attitude about it all! I would be freaking out. If I find out his class is in a basement I am going to invest in some serious 2 way radios.. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065034 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 16:24:01 +0000 Ash 2065034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Take it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065025 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 16:19:35 +0000 sunny 2065025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You will be fine, though I voted to take the class later. My husband was finishing up his masters at night (in addition to his full time job) and he took a quarter off when LO was born. He went and finished it up after she was a few months old. I think it would have been really hard for us if he was gone the first weeks, though we would have managed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2065020 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 16:16:34 +0000 jetsa 2065020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Reese: I actually meant once your LO was older. If he's off work those first 2 weeks he'll have all day with baby anyway </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064995 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 16:06:01 +0000 blackbird 2064995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Reese: It's always a possibility! DH's class is in a basement so he doesn't get any reception, ha! I know there's always a slim chance I end up having to take E to my neighbor's house and ask a friend to take me to the hospital but i figure the chances are slim that I go into active labor the evening he's gone to the point that I'm basically up shit creek. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064991 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 16:04:25 +0000 Mama Bird 2064991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's doable, but can your mom come over on short notice if baby decides to come early and you need help getting to the hospital? </p> <p>Other than that, it's tough but it would only be a few weeks when he's doing three late nights. My husband taught a night class when DS was born. He was doing one to two late nights a week, and in hindsight I don't remember it being much more awful than the general newborn sleep deprivation. I was watching the clock every day till he came home, of course, but by the time it was six it felt like the worst part of the day is over and four more hours won't be so bad :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064967 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:58:54 +0000 MamaCate 2064967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Reese: my dh was in med school when our first was born and lo was due a week or two before classes ended. He was able to take the final a few days late but he still attended classes and did his work and studied because my mom had come to stay with us. I think you will be able to make it work! I also agree it is really helpful to talk with DH about what this might be like as he could be looking at no sleep and finishing up the class, and household expectations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064962 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:57:52 +0000 Reese 2064962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: No, only the 2 weeks. He could probably take an additional week or two later on during my mat leave but he couldn't be gone for 4+weeks in a row. It's a small company and he is vital. After reading everyone that is solo parenting with 2 kids I feel like a huge high maintenance complainer. I just don't know what to expect so its hard to figure out if my fears are rational or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064956 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:56:06 +0000 mrsjyw 2064956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Reese: Yea I would. My mom was with me on/off for the first month. And DH was too on/off and we both appreciated having her around :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064953 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:55:24 +0000 edelweiss 2064953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i voted for having him take the class, although that sucks about the timing. definitely have your mom come, and consider hiring a night nanny/postpartum doula if your mom can't be there (actually i would recommend hiring someone anyway, just for the extra help). my sister was with me the first 2 weeks while my DH worked, and then he took some time off afterwards. not quite the same situation as you, which is why i also suggest the idea of hiring extra help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064951 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:54:46 +0000 Reese 2064951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JessKas: I also forgot to add that he can book his exam whenever he wants, so that helps! </p> <p>@blackbird: Wow. You are a champ. I guess I *also* worry about being huge and home alone if I start to feel contractions. I know he will only be a phone call away but I can't get the WHAT IFS out of my mind. I'm such a freak. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064944 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:51:24 +0000 loveisstrange 2064944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It will be MUCH easier for him to just do it now rather than after the baby comes. I'd tell him to do it and get it over with.</p> <p>Im gone 3-4 nights a week on the regular. We have a toddler, so it's slightly different... but it's really not a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064943 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:51:18 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2064943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You'll be fine. Let him take the course. Better now than later.<br /> Will he be taking any paternity leave?</p> <p>DH is gone 2-3 nights a week and for at least six hours on the weekends. I have a two year old and a newborn. The newborn is the easy one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064939 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:49:53 +0000 blackbird 2064939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have him finish the class. </p> <p>BUT have him talk to the professor...and let him know that there's a chance that his wife could have a baby and he may need some leeway on stuff. </p> <p>DH has been in grad school for almost 3 years now and his classes always overlap a little with us having a baby. It's just one more night in the big scheme of things. This time around, he gives a final presentation May 6 and I'm due May 9. We could run into issues but it'll be ok! I don't think it's worth dropping a class over a 2-4 week *possible* conflict. Dh won't be skipping any classes unless i'm 1) in labor 2) actively delivering. Even if i'm in the hospital, class is only 3 hours long and the nurses are there. In our case, he's so close to being done, I don't want anything to jeopardize it, and he's taking off this summer (by taking a heavier load this semester, which we both agreed was ideal). So we're in the same boat and i'm just going to order take out on the nights that I solo parent (Wednesdays and every other Saturday) once I hit the 9 month mark (i'm 7 months now) to cut myself a little slack! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064928 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:46:46 +0000 mrsrugbee 2064928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's worth letting him do it now while you're plates are relatively free. You'll be at home and if you have your mom to help you, all the better.</p> <p>I find that first month is doable, whereas as they get older, it's nice to have dad at home around dinner time. When I initially read this, I was understanding that you both worked ft, you had one kid and were pregnant with another. I would have shouted NO from the rooftops. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064925 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:45:37 +0000 Reese 2064925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JessKas: I agree ( a lot harder later on) which is why I doubt he would ever take it. It's not exactly a "necessary" course but I know he is interested in it and I don't want to deflate his motivation. He has always been super supportive of me and my endless schooling</p> <p>@plantains: You are my hero. Holy eff. I can't even imagine.</p> <p>@littlejoy: Great suggestion. I have no doubt he would be willing to help out.. especially if he was home during the day and just away in the evening. I would definitely have the discussion with him, though. Then there would be no misunderstandings in expectations</p> <p>POLL ADDED </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064922 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:44:50 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2064922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Reese: When it happens, I will give you a virtual hug and all the love and support that you need! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064913 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:41:53 +0000 littlejoy 2064913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have him take it. If you have family resources in town, and a 1 year maternity leave (OMG, that's amazing), you'll probably be totally fine with just snuggling with baby, and getting some extra rest.</p> <p>It sounds like he's going to be very busy, but I would still discuss the expectation that just because he's taking the class, he'll need to fully contribute to household matters, so you aren't carrying any extra stress.</p> <p>Best wishes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064912 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:41:52 +0000 plantains 2064912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely have him take the course. My DH takes classes at night 3 days a week as well as working full time. I work full time too and we have a 2.5 year old and another on the way. When all is said and done it is annoying but better for the family in the long run and not that big of a deal. 2-4 weeks really is nothing in the grand scheme of things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-big-deal#post-2064911 Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:41:41 +0000 JessKas 2064911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have him take it now. He could even talk with the teacher and potentially take the final early. I have friends who were pregnant in school and did this. It will be a lot harder to take a class when a LO is involved! </p>