https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 15:56:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867467 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 21:12:47 +0000 oskarsmommy 2867467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: so his vision is fine - 20/20. But vision therapy addresses convergence issues (like being able to move your eyes separate from your head, etc) - I guess this could fall under motor planning? So vision therapy is like OT for the eyes? I’m still learning about it.<br /> It’s relativly “alternative” therapy, but I FULLY believe it is helpful. My nephew had to do vision therapy and it did wonders. Some even lose diagnosis after VT. (Supposedly at least) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867423 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 16:49:24 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2867423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: I think our battle is he hates transitions to getting ready to go. If he can’t zip his coat the first try, he throws himself on the ground, doesn’t want to put his boots on, wants to stay home with mommy and baby brother, wants to play, etc. He rarely says he doesn’t want to go and he’s good once I drop him off and apparently has a good day pretty much all the time so I dunno. He doesn’t like getting ready to go anywhere really but he’s good when we arrive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867417 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 16:42:45 +0000 irene 2867417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: I've been lurking this thread as it is quite intriguing... I am just curious how come your pediatrician didn't say anything for the past 4 years on the wellness checks? I am not qualified to comment if your child's behavior from OP is "normal" or not, but did they check his eyes at wellness checks (ours do), and was the score also low?</p> <p>I am not of much help as 4.5 for us was such a blur and my brain repressed the whole "experience" lol. We had defiance, fighting bed time, tantrums, crying, explode over tiny things.... ahhh. It was hard (well, it is still hard lol), but we didn't have problems with going to /disliking school, putting on clothes independently and such. DS didn't care for coloring since he was very young as he prefer drawing on his own. I hope this is something that he will grow out of, but I'd first talk to my pediatrician about this first and see what they think... Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867333 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 12:27:33 +0000 KT326 2867333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: I would take him to an optometrist and get his eyes checked. If he needs glasses it's better to start now than when he starts Kindergarten. Look for one that specializes in pediatrics. Your pediatrician could also have referrals. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867332 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 12:24:33 +0000 oskarsmommy 2867332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KT326: when we took him to brain balance for an eval they tested his eyes function (not just vision, but ability to track and move together) and he tested REALLY low. I know he will need vision therapy (which is part of the BB curriculum - I suppose if I don’t do the program I need to persue it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867329 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 12:18:58 +0000 josina 2867329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: My 4 year old says he hates going to daycare (will start preschool this fall) and cries most mornings when it's time to get ready. But when I drop him off he's just fine. He would just prefer to stay home with me or go to grandma's. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867323 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 12:00:58 +0000 KT326 2867323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: have you had his eyes checked? That was one concern for my son when he was having a difficult time in preschool. Of course his eyes ended up being fine, he was just being difficult... but that was one of the first things his pediatrician wanted us to check. </p> <p>We had a few appointments with our regular pediatrician and she gave us some good pointers for his behavior: staying calm on our side, using a timer for transitions, lots of positive praise (like as much as we can for every little thing). There were times during preschool where I was wondering what I was doing so wrong! He actually ran out of the classroom and went to the playground. He got sent home for the day after that since it was a safety issue. He would climb under the tables and not come out, he would throw chairs around. It was hard. I spent so much time with the director talking about his behavior and what we could do. </p> <p>Ultimately it just took time for him to mature. He is in first grade now and doing much better. We still have some temper tantrums but they are not as often and I can diffuse them pretty quick or even avoid it if I can see one coming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867321 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 11:57:41 +0000 caitcat 2867321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: Mine has some resistance to going out in general - but I think hers is mainly because she doesn’t like to get dressed (she would live in just her underwear if we let her...) and she knows that leaving the house means having to wear real clothes. She generally likes going to school once we get over the getting dressed hurdle. </p> <p>It’s so hard to start the day with a battle over going to school. Did he say any specifics he was upset about in school? I rarely get details out of my daughter...she usually makes more sweeping, dramatic claims for stuff she doesn’t like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867305 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 10:27:09 +0000 oskarsmommy 2867305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Moms who are in similar boats - or any mamas - do your 4 year olds fight going to school? I think this is the basis of my concern. All he does now is play. What is gonna happen when he starts having to do schoolwork? This morning he is fighting going to school HARD - saying it’s stupid and he doesn’t like it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867261 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 22:04:02 +0000 Boopers 2867261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven’t read all the responses and don’t have personal experience sending my kids to Brain Balance but we have had parents at my school spend so much money at Brain Balance with little to no progress in return. As a teacher, I understand parents wanting to try all avenues before addressing issues through professional, licensed help which can feel scary or overwhelming. My advice as a person who frequently speaks to parents about a variety of behaviors, I think to save time/energy/$$$ you may want to skip Brain Balance and see a child psychologist or play therapist to deal with the coping skills. Your pediatrician could be a resource if you haven’t already reached out. A developmental pediatrician might be able to help you decide if these behaviors are atypical enough to warrant more support or some sort of diagnosis (if that’s what you’re looking for).</p> <p>You may run into some roadblocks where providers might say he’s too young for a certain evaluations or a diagnosis, but go with your gut and trust your instincts. If/when you have a diagnosis (again, if that’s what you’re looking for) and he enters kindergarten, make sure to get 504 accommodations in place through his school. It’ll be a legal safeguard for you to ensure he’s getting appropriate accommodations related to a diagnosis.</p> <p>I hope that you are able to find the resources to give you answers either way. We have considered play therapy for my 3.5 yr old son who I suspect has some anxiety which fluctuates and affects him differently depending on the day. It’s hard and exhausting! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867253 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 20:46:05 +0000 Anagram 2867253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: Yeah, I would stop reading for a while. But I would also schedule an appointment to get a professional opinion. I mean, either your insurance will cover it or you'll pay out of pocket, but either way it will be cheaper than Brain Balance.</p> <p>And trust your instincts. In my case, my kiddo is my 2nd. And my 2nd girl. So I'm not really questioning my parenting techniques or our family dynamics or if it's a stage. I mean, she's 3.5 and she's been this way since she was 11 months, so that would be one hell of a stage!</p> <p>But I do go back and forth on whether it's just on the "difficult" side of the typical spectrum, or if it's on maybe the "more typical" side of the spectrum of a kid with sensory issues. And while I don't think our case is severe, I don't want my kiddo to go without help just because her issues aren't so obvious. If that makes sense,</p> <p>Anyway, that's why I figure getting a professional evaluation can't hurt. We have great insurance. Other than scheduling, it would literally cost me $20 to get an appointment. Seems like a no brainer to me. Then if the professional doesn't think we have an issue, then I can live with that and I might seek help to get tips for emotional regulation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867252 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 20:38:04 +0000 Foodnerd81 2867252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: ooh I feel like this is what I really need. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867243 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 19:40:01 +0000 gotkimchi 2867243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: I just really want to encourage you to get a professional opinion! I bet a lot of this is normal and often how parents react can change how the kids react. I swear my kids love me the most but I’m also their biggest trigger. And usually the most logical conclusion is what it is (so I doubt it’s heavy metals :silly: ) but I totally understand wanting to find an answer wanting to pursue all options. You are doing a great job and you will all be fine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867241 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 19:17:30 +0000 oskarsmommy 2867241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I swear I go back and forth - and when I go back, I go down the rabbit hole of wanting to test for heavy metals (has anyone heard of pyroluria) metabolic panels. The more I read the more I see pathology. So basically need to stop reading! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867240 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 19:15:53 +0000 hummusgirl 2867240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This all sounds very familiar to me. What we did with pretty good success was see a parenting coach ourselves (<a href="https://katiemalinski.com" rel="nofollow">https://katiemalinski.com</a>). She was so helpful in giving us context re: what’s normal and what’s not, and helping us figure out how to change our reactions to his behavior to turn around the whole vibe of our house. We only went a few sessions and will probably go a couple times this year for a refresher. </p> <p>The great thing is that DS didn’t come so it wasn’t disruptive to his schedule. The therapist said we could always go the child therapy route if parent coaching isn’t enough, but it’s good to start with the less invasive approach first and maybe it’ll work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867227 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 16:51:29 +0000 hellobeeboston 2867227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: Oh man, our OT started VERY shortly after baby #2 came along! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867218 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 16:04:03 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2867218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: I'll chime in with others that a lot of this describes my 5.5 year old - resisting bedtime, very hyperactive in the evenings, very wiggly, very fatalistic ("I'll never be able to do X again!" all the time), very experience seeking, hated coloring until she started kindergarten, which made it better but still not her go-to activity, constantly asks me to repeat myself, and also she's very verbally advanced, does great in school, and as an only child, this has been her always, there wasn't a trigger. I had the same concerns you did until she started kindergarten, and since then, I have calmed down a lot because she does well in school, she's very social, but obviously has a flare for drama and likely has some mild sensory regulation needs that we've been able to manage with activities, outings, and setting limits for things like bedtime. And some things have also gotten better as she got older. I never had her evaluated because she's so young and most people wouldn't diagnose at that young an age anyway, so I'd recommend waiting and working through it. Which is tough, but at that age, emotional and social regulation is still really hard, so unless you see it really interfering with his life and that of others, I think it's OK to wait and see how it goes over the next couple years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867217 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 15:59:30 +0000 oskarsmommy 2867217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>thank you ladies for all of your responses!!</p> <p>It tells me that I will start small - and pursue OT..</p> <p>I will update this thread as we go along our journey </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867215 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 15:56:37 +0000 Foodnerd81 2867215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: I often feel like my kid struggles with the same things as other kids, but struggles harder, reacts bigger. Like yes, she had a hard time with her sister was born, which all kids do, but MORE than other kids and for longer. So... I get it.<br /> But mine does not do great in school either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867214 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 15:50:40 +0000 oskarsmommy 2867214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want to add a few things:</p> <p>He does GREAT in school<br /> he was very advanced with language - never a problem there<br /> almost ALL problems began when we had second child.. which I want to say - oh thats the problem.. but no, other kids don't struggle this hard - he is lacking coping skills I think.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867178 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 14:01:44 +0000 kiddosc 2867178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think your son sounds within the realm of "normal" but would probably benefit from some therapies which can teach him coping mechanisms and appropriate reactions. I would have my child evaluated by EI before I dropped $10,000 on an unproven therapy that insurance won't cover. I think that a lot of the improvement these families see can be achieved through studied and proven therapies used by medical professionals. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867176 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 13:56:05 +0000 hellobeeboston 2867176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you had your LO evaluated locally? Done any OT or anything like that yet? A lot of that sounds like it is pretty 'normal' (what is normal anyway) and maybe it's just about finding the right way for him to handle big feelings/emotions.</p> <p>When my older son was 3/3.5, I had him evaluated for a variety of things - a couple familiar things from your list. His main ones were sensory issues, zero interest in fine motor activities or participating, motor planning, acting out, etc.</p> <p>We started OT for him and it helped IMMENSELY. We realized a lot of his issues were coming from not handling his sensory needs properly, and it turned out he had very low muscle tone in his hands so we really had to work to strengthen them so that he could feel more confident write/drawing/dressing etc. I'm not sure about that program you mentioned but working with an OT seems like a good first stop if you haven't done that yet.</p> <p>ps - since your son is over 3 he's won't qualify for EI, but many insurance companies cover OT. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867173 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 13:21:13 +0000 Foodnerd81 2867173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To add to what I wrote earlier, what I have kind of concluding right now is if I do get some kind of professional help, my first step would be some kind of family therapist, who could help LO deal with her big emotions and how to handle things at home and at school, but could also help ME and DH deal with her. Like, what’s normal and to be expected, as part of growing up, what’s not and needs to be corrected, how should I best respond to her. Because I know I don’t do it the right way plenty of times, but I also see certain teachers where they do everything I’ve been told is best (don’t give much reaction to bad behavior, catch the good behavior and praise it, give her special jobs to succeed at) and she still can be pretty bad in that class sometimes. So that will be my next step if just more time and patience isn’t helping. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867171 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 13:18:27 +0000 wrkbrk 2867171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not a doctor and didn’t read the responses but my son has all of those behaviors to one extent or another ... I never considered that it was abnormal. Toddlers suck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867169 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 13:01:15 +0000 SugarMaple 2867169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 4 1/2 year old boy too. I think he sounds like a typical kid. Try watching the reaction he gets from others when he does some the behaviors you are concerned about. I am a sped teacher, and it amazes me everyday how kids do things because it is reinforced in some way. Often it is the reaction that other kids give (positive or negative). </p> <p>If your gut tells you something if off, have you looked into sensory processing issues? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867165 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 12:33:44 +0000 Mamatimes3 2867165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, most of this behavior (besides the wiggling) sounds a lot like my almost 5 year old. he displays some of these things but not all of the time. I’ve always considered it normal but that he is a kid with big emotions. When he’s happy, he’s a joy. When he’s upset, he is emotional. I attribute it to him still being young and not knowing how to process all of his emotions yet. </p> <p>But mama’s instinct is strong. If you feel like it is something more, than I would pursue it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867162 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 12:27:23 +0000 Mrsbells 2867162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: A lot of this sounds like normal behavior. My question is how do you handle this behavior because kids will do whatever they think they can get away with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867143 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 10:16:24 +0000 periwinklebee 2867143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally would give it more time and then reevaluate...There's a lot of evidence that age appropriate behavior often gets diagnosed as pathological - this article summarizes a really interesting study on ADHD (<a href="https://www.medpagetoday.com/neurology/adhd-add/76569" rel="nofollow">https://www.medpagetoday.com/neurology/adhd-add/76569</a>) showing that in states where the cutoff for K is September 1, kids born in August are 32% more likely than kids born in September (who are nearly a year older at starting school) to be diagnosed with ADHD. That's a huge difference in diagnosis rates! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867126 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 09:14:12 +0000 looch 2867126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here is an article on the program you mentioned up top:</p> <p><a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/06/18/616805015/cutting-edge-program-for-children-with-autism-and-adhd-rests-on-razor-thin-evide" rel="nofollow">https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/06/18/616805015/cutting-edge-program-for-children-with-autism-and-adhd-rests-on-razor-thin-evide</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-a-problem#post-2867121 Thu, 17 Jan 2019 09:04:21 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2867121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also read this and thought ‘sounds like my 4 year old son’ with certain things you describe. The emotional meltdowns over little things, putting on clothes, disliking art and colouring, need for physical touch and play, defiance and even saying ‘what?’ after everything we say (which was just a weird phase that thankfully stopped as it was super annoying ha) </p> <p>My son does have a motor speech disorder, suspected apraxia, and has been seeing a SLP since he was 20 months old. Has also been evaluated by OT and PT, seen an ENT and had tubes placed for failed hearing tests and chronic fluid and vestibular system issues. He was never diagnosed as low tone but often sat in W position and we did work on core strength and vibration, touch, etc. So there is some history with him for sure and we are still working on it. However, most of this stuff I said was similar to your kid developed AFTER all of the above treatments and evaluation. Specifically, this year as he started JK and new baby brother came along. Talking with mom friends, a lot of kids around here are going through these struggles it seems. We are in Canada so kids start school at 4 and that seems to be a big culprit. It’s a lot for them. But I also think it’s age appropriate in many ways despite the school factor.</p> <p>So I guess my answer to your post is, it sounds normal overall. But I absolutely get not knowing if it’s normal and whether you need more help. We went through that for a long time with his speech. I’m absolutely a proponent of getting things checked. Our son is one that wouldn’t have ‘grown out of’ his delay and I am thankful every day that we got him help and didn’t wait. I think an OT evaluation would be immensely helpful for you and give you a baseline to decide what to do next. </p>