https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 11:42:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4/page/2#post-2138066 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 10:53:17 +0000 Umbreon 2138066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don 't think it's rude at all. In fact, I think the opposite, that it would be rude not to show her the invite before sending it out, especially asking for her input on theme, wording, etc. If it were my shower, I'd probably be thinking "Why did you even want my opinion on these things unless you were going to let me see it beforehand?"</p> <p>If you showed it to her, told her it was done, and she had a bunch of things she wanted changed, then that would be rude. Unless you specifically asked her if she wanted anything changed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4/page/2#post-2138037 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 10:45:13 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 2138037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think that is rude, necessarily, either. I like how your DH handled it, myself. This allows them to see it, but not have the opportunity to change anything. </p> <p>I didn't see either of my shower invites, &amp; was only "invited" to one of my 2 showers happening in the next week. It is killing me not to ask about how things are coming along for either, but I don't want to sound like I don't trust things are coming together... though, for the family shower, I really do *not* trust things are set. There's some drama there, which I'm just not up for dealing with, so I'm just going with the flow of everything else I need to pay attention to right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4/page/2#post-2136192 Wed, 08 Apr 2015 09:45:11 +0000 looch 2136192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's rude, necessarily, but it sounds like something I myself might do...not because I would want to change anything, but when someone calls me and tells me they got our cute invite or asks me a question about it, I'd want to know what they're talking about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4/page/2#post-2136184 Wed, 08 Apr 2015 09:42:53 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2136184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you had already discussed the theme and wording of the invite then I don't think she necessarily needed to see it unless she was just excited. My cousin didn't even send me an invite for my shower this past weekend but gave me a copy at the event. I love party planning so it is hard for me not to have an opinion but you have to remember that someone else is hosting and be gracious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4/page/2#post-2136087 Wed, 08 Apr 2015 08:43:28 +0000 MarieJ 2136087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's rude. I asked my sisters and mom to see mine because I was excited. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4/page/2#post-2136017 Wed, 08 Apr 2015 08:01:07 +0000 Emilia80 2136017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I don't think it's rude, I would probably just out of curiosity just want to see what they looked like and so forth. When I throw parties I always consult with the person it's for to ensure its to their taste. I guess everyone is different, depends how it came across. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4/page/2#post-2135613 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 18:08:09 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2135613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: sounds like you have a lot on your plate, sorry. :( It is really sweet of you to be taking on this huge project and I hope she will never forget it and appreciate it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2135539 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 16:46:03 +0000 blackbird 2135539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BandDmommy: nah, she brain farted :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2135531 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 16:41:25 +0000 youboots 2135531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both of my showers the host sent me the invite to proof/give feedback. I would not have asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2135528 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 16:38:30 +0000 meredithNYC 2135528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sapphiresun: Oh my God, I would have died!</p> <p>I don't think it's rude, necessarily, but the controlling nature of it would make me roll my eyes a little, and I would for sure bitch about it to my co-organizers :wink: . Then again, I'm another one who finds the need for everything to be "Pinterest-perfect" a little tiresome. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2135508 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 16:23:44 +0000 BandDmommy 2135508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: on purpose? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2135459 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 15:44:54 +0000 namaste 2135459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I designed my invite because I'm ultra picky :P My host was more than relieved. </p> <p>I can understand asking to see because you're excited but after reading about all of these invite mistakes, I can see why someone would want to proof? The more eyes the better IMO! :) It just sounds like this shower is out of control in more ways than one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2135331 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:24:10 +0000 Pirouette 2135331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: i agree that it depends, and if the guest of honor was already annoying me, yes i'd be annoyed! it sounds like they are trying to micromanage a little and for the most part do it after the fact, which is even more annoying. So i don't think it's necessarily rude generally, but i think it would annoy me if i was trying to throw someone a party and they were trying to basically throw it themselves after i'd put a lot of effort/money into it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2135171 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 12:35:23 +0000 Mrs. Lovejoy 2135171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: yikes, 75?! And I think the term "approving" it is definitely rude, but I can understand them wanting to see it. </p> <p>My friends are throwing me a sprinkle, which is more than gracious, but I feel a little awkward after we had a shower for our first LO a few years ago. Granted, it's a different gender, but I did want to make it clear to people that this party should be more about just celebrating the baby and being together as friends than gifts. I didn't do a registry, and wanted to make sure the hosts got that. I didn't get a chance because I didn't want to step on toes, but now I am worried that I'll have this nagging guilt that everyone will think I'm gift-grabby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2135135 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 12:06:11 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2135135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: that's a big shower! What did they say after seeing the invite? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2135025 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 10:42:57 +0000 ShootingStar 2135025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I found it kind of annoying because we had gone to the trouble to pick out the invite and to carefully word it. We had already consulted with her on the theme, the content of the invite, and we chose the timing based on a lot of factors. So I didn't really want to open it up for critique. I told DH to tell the FI that they'd be getting one in the mail, but DH didn't like that so he sent them the proof and told them we'd already ordered them.</p> <p>I think I'm just annoyed in general with this party. We had to time it around FIL's schedule and his tendency to be late, and a church clam bake that half the family thought was more important than the shower. And SIL sent us a guest list of 75(!) people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134885 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 09:28:07 +0000 dc yoga bee 2134885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's so hard to decipher tone from text. My mom was so excited, she asked me did I want to see the invite. I wanted to see them because I was excited, but had no intentions of "approving" them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134857 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 09:09:10 +0000 autumnlove 2134857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it is rude to ask to see it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134848 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 09:00:09 +0000 rachiecakes 2134848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to see my shower invitations - because I wouldn't be receiving one in the mail :) I just wanted to see what they looked like, not to judge or 'check' or anything. I also asked for one for the baby book. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134842 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 08:56:31 +0000 mrsjyw 2134842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: agree! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134840 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 08:55:08 +0000 Reese 2134840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's rude at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134827 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 08:40:28 +0000 prettylizy 2134827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's rude at all. I've thrown a few showers now and all the details were run by the guest of honour in the planning process. For the most part it's exciting to kibbitz about this or that. The bride/mama really enjoys being a part of it in my expierence </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134821 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 08:37:12 +0000 Alivoo01 2134821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If they just wanna see it, then no. But if they request changes, then yes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134745 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 07:23:21 +0000 TheReelDeal 2134745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really think it depends, haha! I wanted everyone to bring a book to the baby shower instead of cards, and I didn't want a shower where it looked like the Party City baby section had threw up, so even though my MIL hosted, my friends, who knew my wants, decorated. Yes, that seems a tad controlling but I know that about myself :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134744 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 07:22:26 +0000 lady baltimore 2134744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't find it weird. If I am throwing a party "for" someone, I'd rather have her input than try to predict what she wants. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134741 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 07:16:06 +0000 Modern Daisy 2134741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's rude. I did correspond with the hosts of my shower, but only because i wanted it to be a gender reveal (which they were excited about) and i wanted to contribute. They picked the invites, decor, favors, etc all i did was buy the cake. I saw an invite after they went out and was a little embarrased that they put the registry info on it, but i didnt say anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134717 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 06:24:34 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2134717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@WinterBee: Agree completely.</p> <p>I can't imagine throwing a shower for someone else and NOT running the invitations by them. People will likely assume they saw and approved the invitations anyway, or at least gave you the information for the content, so if there is something on there that they wouldn't want (such as the wrong date and time or the "cash only" examples above), that reflects on them as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134714 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 06:20:34 +0000 blackbird 2134714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i don't know why you wouldn't show an invitation to the guest of honor? </p> <p>My MIL accidentally sent out a few blank ones, one in particular to my mom.. Kind of hilarious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134666 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 00:54:13 +0000 Sapphiresun 2134666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It wouldn't bother me. </p> <p>I had a shower thrown for me where the hostess indicated "SapphireSun has requested only cash donations". I was mortified when my co-worker showed me. If that had been run by me before they were sent out I definitely would have edited it. I think even if the guest of honour isn't throwing the shower, it still reflects on them to some extent, so I'd be ok with them wanting to review any correspondence I was sending out to their friends, family and co-workers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-rude-4#post-2134637 Mon, 06 Apr 2015 23:03:44 +0000 daniellemybelle 2134637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if it is asked nicely and in a way that expresses excitement, not a desire to approve, it's fine.</p> <p>I'm glad my MIL offered to show me the invitations to my shower because I did have some feedback on the wording (having to do with the hostesses) and she was thankfully very open to it and gracious about it. </p>