Hellobee Boards Topic: Is this tacky?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Is this tacky? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 06 Jun 2026 13:07:09 +0000 snowjewelz on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658559 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 11:39:45 +0000 snowjewelz 2658559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Ehhh it is tacky to me without any food and it's during a meal time... winter_wonder on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658318 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 19:52:34 +0000 winter_wonder 2658318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's tacky. Can it be somewhere else? Or socks I like the suggestions of PP who said light lunch or appetizers. Boogs on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658296 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 19:01:02 +0000 Boogs 2658296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Tacky is a strong word, but it wouldn't sit well with me. Your idea of a compromise with light finger foods and cake would be good enough. Mrs. Lemon-Lime on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658295 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 18:58:02 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2658295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's definitely off putting, but I get it what grown woman really wants to pick up the tab for 20 other people? It sounds like she's keeping the guest list to those that would likely gift even without a shower and the out of pocket lunch won't dent into how much the guests would spend on their gift. daniellemybelle on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658275 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 18:13:37 +0000 daniellemybelle 2658275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yeah, I would either have her do it at a non-mealtime, or provide enough food to make a lunch. Expecting guests to pay for their own meals is not the best option. Mrsbells on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658252 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 17:31:28 +0000 Mrsbells 2658252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Aspen: I wouldnt use the word tacky but it isnt right to have a shower and not feed the guests. They are bringing gifts for the baby so the least the host can do is provide food. rachiecakes on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658180 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 16:05:35 +0000 rachiecakes 2658180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Aspen: That's what we did for my shower - my mom did not want to host the baby shower because it went against rules of etiquette. She felt better about having an appetizer buffet and cake instead of a meal, lol tequiero21 on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658178 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 16:03:20 +0000 tequiero21 2658178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Very tacky! Especially if it's during lunchtime and they are expected to buy their own lunch. Agree w previous posts, it's ok if you state it's only for coffee and cake and it's not during meal time... Aspen on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658173 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 15:56:00 +0000 Aspen 2658173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Thank you for the feedback. It's confirmed, totally tacky. Now I just have to find a way to tell my mom. I like the idea of doing an appetizer buffet, cake, and drinks and not calling it a lunch. Of course, my mother in law is hosting a shower the following day (two different states/towns) and she's having a fully catered brunch with a bottomless mimosa bar. :) rachiecakes on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658163 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 15:45:06 +0000 rachiecakes 2658163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Can you do an appetizer buffet to go with the cake and drinks and not call it a lunch... maybe something mid-afternoon? (cash bar) I wouldn't invite people to a restaurant to pay for their own food. I do think a cash bar is totally acceptable at an event where the guest of honor can't drink ;) so I wouldn't worry about that. honeybear on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658159 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 15:39:11 +0000 honeybear 2658159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would strongly advise her not to do this. (Actually, I'd just tell my mom no.) There is a host here, and she has claimed that honor, so it's disingenuous to say it's "no-host." It's one thing to hold a shower at 3pm and just serve cake and tea in the backyard. That is totally fine! However, it's not okay to have a lunch at a restaurant and demand that the "guests" pay for their own food and bring a gift. alphagam84 on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658157 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 15:30:23 +0000 alphagam84 2658157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Definitely tacky. You don't invite people to a party and then tell them to pay for their own food. looch on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658156 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 15:29:31 +0000 looch 2658156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't really subscribe to etiquette rules, as long as it's clear on the invitation, I would be okay with it. I don't have the time to worry about whether stuff is tacky or not. catlady on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658153 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 15:26:20 +0000 catlady 2658153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think if the invite was clearly worded (something like "please join us for drinks and cake"), it could be ok. If it is at a mealtime and takes place at a restaurant, I'd definitely expect the hosts to pay for meals for the guests. If she wants to save on costs, I'd either throw it somewhere else or go for a cheaper meal (my shower was brunch, which was less expensive than lunch at the same restaurant). youboots on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658152 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 15:25:20 +0000 youboots 2658152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Sorry. It's tacky. I'd arrange for the restaurant to have some small sandwiches available and no menus on the table. I think a no host bar is fine. Anya on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658147 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 15:22:37 +0000 Anya 2658147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, sorry :sad: I would find it very odd to be invited to a party at a banquet hall and then be required to purchase my own meal. Why not hold it at a non-restaurant location (like someone's home) and provide cake and light snacks? That said though, there are all sorts of different customs out there, so even though I've never heard of this it's possible people in her circle/area are accustomed to this type of shower. erinbaderin on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658144 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 15:20:46 +0000 erinbaderin 2658144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ So there will be food but people will have to pay for it themselves? Like they're expected to order and pay for their own lunches? I think it if was just an afternoon party with cake and drinks it would be fine but I'd raise an eyebrow if it's a lunch. I'm not sure a "no-host" party where you're expected to bring a gift is a thing. Aspen on "Is this tacky?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-tacky-1#post-2658141 Mon, 28 Nov 2016 15:18:26 +0000 Aspen 2658141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom is hosting a baby shower for me in January. While I am very thankful she is throwing me a shower, I'm worried that the attendees may find it a bit tacky. She is inviting 15-20 people who include our family and some of my friends from home. She is having it at a banquet room at a restaurant and providing drinks and cake, but no food. She says it's a "no-host" lunch and is perfectly normal, according to etiquette. I have been to only a few baby showers and never had to pay for my own meal. What do you think? Is this tacky? I offered to chip in so we could have some food and I think she was offended.