https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 04:11:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67696 Sun, 05 Feb 2012 18:52:59 +0000 Rubies 67696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I had received the email, I wouldn't be offended. Instead, I would just offer one or two Saturdays if it fit my schedule. It might have been a bit tactless of your sister to do that but the recipients of the email have the right to decline! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67652 Sun, 05 Feb 2012 15:45:42 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 67652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In our family, we would much rather have a standing date with a relative than put any child in our family into a babysitting situation. I know you feel like it's imposing, but you probably just have a different threshold for asking for help. To each her own, but I wouldn't get upset. Instead I'd be upset if my sister was paying for care when all the cousins could be hanging out. Family is so precious to us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67636 Sun, 05 Feb 2012 14:57:57 +0000 cyneswith 67636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends. If it was a case like it is with my SIL, where my mom and both my grandmas, in addition to several others, are always offering to babysit, then letting people know en masse when a babysitter is needed makes sense. It'd stop people from harassing her, and let her make sure everyone who wants a turn babysitting gets one. If no one ASKS when they can babysit, it might be a little odd. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67623 Sun, 05 Feb 2012 14:31:06 +0000 Boogs 67623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blushink: It's a good idea to ask her. Maybe she has enough other family members who volunteered so she won't need your help. She has to know that between work, Mavi, and your little girl on the way your got more than enough on your plate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67586 Sun, 05 Feb 2012 12:42:22 +0000 redboots 67586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely depends on the family...my family would be tripping over themselves to babysit on a weekend...especially the grandparents... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67560 Sun, 05 Feb 2012 12:05:59 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 67560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: oh yes for sure. I've babysat my niece several times and my sister babysat Mavi too. We are a very helpful family but I simply find the email made it look like "we need babysitters and you are family" sure she said "if you are available" but still.... In her shoes I wouldn't of done it that way. Sure it sucks but I mean it's her job and she knew it was like that. </p> <p>I dunno.... In any other situation I would be available no problem but seeing this is for an undetermined time... Seems like much. I know my grandmother took care of us younger but she didn't work. All our parents are still working so it makes it even harder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67557 Sun, 05 Feb 2012 12:01:43 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 67557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: THATS EXACTLY MY POINT. !!! I think I'll nonchalantly ask her if she plans on finding a full time (part time) babysitter. It's not like she didn't know she worked on Saturdays. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67201 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 13:19:39 +0000 Boogs 67201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on your family, no matter what it is my family always rallies together to help each other out. We used to watch my godson every single night for years because his mom worked nights. Sure it was hard at times, but we always repay each other in time. She used to do things for us, and even now if we need help moving, painting, with a party, etc she's always quick to offer to help. </p> <p>It sounds like your family is not like that, though, so you shouldn't have to feel obligated to help. But, maybe of you did some of the weekends, you sister would realize that and return the favor with your kids or in another way? There is a saying about how one kind act leads to another... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67196 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 13:04:08 +0000 yoursilverlining 67196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think its imposing. Most people work during the week and only get 2 days off each week. To ask a small group of people with their own children/families/lives to rotate having to give up 1 of their 2 days off each week on an every other week basis seems like a lot. If it was even just a once a month thing or every other week for a limited amount of time, that might be more understandable but to ask family to watch every other weekend for a day seems like a lot to me, especially where she had a year off to either arrange a different work schedule or arrange for babysitting help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67194 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:51:35 +0000 owlmom 67194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This wouldn't fly in my family. It would if it was a temporary or one-off thing, or if she just needed help until she found a more permanent solution. But if she's trying to use you guys as daycare for the foreseeable future, I'd feel taken advantage of as well, and so would my family (and they LOVE taking care of our LO and my nephews). And I would be irritated with the way she "asked" as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67189 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:24:53 +0000 BSB 67189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends on the family, too. My sister loves babies and if she could help she would. The only thing that annoys me is the email. If I needed something like that, I would rather ask my sister in person or over the phone. My other sister would definitely be annoyed if I did that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67170 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:30:44 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 67170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It does sound like she just assumes one of you will do it so that would be imposing to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67166 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:24:54 +0000 chopsuey 67166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If she knows she has to work every other saturday, she should get a babysitter! :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67162 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:02:23 +0000 tequiero21 67162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blushink: i hear ya. well, she'll know she's imposing if NO one steps forward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67160 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:54:13 +0000 winniebee 67160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blushink: Well I for one definitely would NOT feel obligated to watch her kid. I might offer to do it as a once in a while thing, but you have a kid already and work...so yeah not that relaxing to also have her kid on the weekend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67157 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:48:39 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 67157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: ya. For example say my sister went on vacation with her SO for a week and asked family to babysit that would be totally fine because it's not all the time. </p> <p>But my sisters biological mom is a nanny on weekends so isn't available much. So it leaves Me, My mom, my older sister, my dad (which basically my stepmom would take care of her) and my sisters SIL. (everyone else lives out of town) </p> <p>She did ask 2 of her friends but one has 3 kids and 2 are handicap... </p> <p>My mom seems to feel the same way as me. She just thinks that assuming your family will take care of your child because you work is taking advantage. I dunno maybe I'm too hormonal. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67150 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:39:31 +0000 tequiero21 67150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blushink: well if that's the case, it's definitely imposing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67147 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:36:07 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 67147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: well the thing with my family they say it isn't imposing but I can see it in their face. Or comments.</p> <p>My dad never takes care of our kids ever. Has never baby sat my son and isn't the grandfather type. My younger sister would never babysit so it also limits the available people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67146 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:30:32 +0000 Grace 67146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do think it depends on your family. I don't think I'd ever do that, myself, but I know quite a few co-workers that use family as daycare every single day, so it's not unheard of. Maybe she's thinking that by asking the whole family at once, she's hoping that each person would only have to watch her once every 3 months? I wouldn't feel like I was being taken advantage of, if that was the interval. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67130 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:51:02 +0000 winniebee 67130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me, it would depend on the tone of the email and family dynamics. In my family, if I didn't ask my parents or siblings to watch LO they would probably ask why I didn't ask. But I would never send a mass email out to the whole family. Also I would phrase it like "I know everyone has busy schedules so please do not feel at all obligated (and I have backup plans) but I just wanted to see if anyone wanted to spend the occasional Saturday with LO." Something like that. Doesn't sound like she did it that way, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67126 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:41:14 +0000 Andrea 67126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The concept is foreign to me since I have no family around so I would just hire a sitter immediately. But from the sounds of it from PPs, if there is family around then I guess it makes sense to check with them first. And if no one can do it, then you hire a sitter. Why not get free babysitting IF someone is happy to do it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67117 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:31:04 +0000 heffalump 67117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blushink: In my family it wouldn't be imposing. They would love to watch my LO and they'd be upset if I didn't give them that opportunity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67115 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:28:31 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 67115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Budget isn't an issue and like I said once in a while I can understand what what's going to happen when she has her second? She will ask us again to take care of her 2 kids? </p> <p>She's paying 7$ a day daycare so she can defintely hire someone for 6 hours on a Saturday. Again I'm helping out. I really don't mind but does she think we will babysit forever? </p> <p>I dunno. Maybe it's because I rarely ask for help and if I were in her shoes I would never impose my family to take care of my kids because I work. I work my son is in daycare. So same should apply ?! </p> <p>Maybe I'm being harsh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67110 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:22:54 +0000 tequiero21 67110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'm with @artbee - i guess it really depends. i personally wouldn't want to even ask unless i offered some sorta compensation. but that's just me. if i were on a budget and i couldn't afford it, i'd have no choice but to ask family - who else would ever consider doing it for free? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67099 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:52:53 +0000 heffalump 67099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends on your family. I know my mom and MIL would be upset if I didn't go to them first before hiring someone. They'd prefer to spend that extra time with my LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-this-taking-advantage#post-67081 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 07:55:16 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 67081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sister recently went back to work after being on mat leave for 1 year. 2 weeks before she went back she sent out a mass email to all my family and her inlaws asking for babysitters ever second saturday. </p> <p>She works in the retail business and has no choice but to work every second Saturday and her SO works every Saturday. At first I didn't think anything of it but then I started thinking... Is this taking advantage of your family?</p> <p>Don't get me wrong, I'm all for helping out when you need someone. Say they have a party or a date night I don't mind babysitting my niece.... But this isnt a temporary situation. She knows she has to work every second week... So why not try and find a sitter for those days? It's not like she didn't have time to think about it... Ya know? </p> <p>She has Sunday and Mondays off so asking family to babysit even second week (forever?!) is a little selfish no? Because that means those people days off are cut down to 1. </p> <p>I'm sure if she said in her email this was temporary until she found a solution I wouldnt mind, but her email was for feb, march, April (for now) and she will get back to us for the rest. </p> <p>Am I being harsh? How would you see this?<br /> Do you think it's taking advantage of your big family? </p> <p>Oh and I forgot to mention that my stepmom already picks up my niece in the morning to bring her to daycare and picks her up to bring her home. </p>