https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 03:19:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-439712 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 04:56:38 +0000 MamaMoose 439712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are only 2 weeks in but better! My husband has been incredible. He is so in love with LO he'll fight me to get to change a poopy diaper just so he can take her from me. But even more amazing to me is how caring he is for me! He's always encouraging me to pump as much as possible so he can have bottles and handle her at night to give me a break. Sometimes I think he wishes he had the boobs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-439690 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 03:03:44 +0000 DillonLion 439690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Way better, but we have only had LO for 12 days.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-439685 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 02:53:54 +0000 Mrs. Superhero 439685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think better, but we went through a rough patch before conceiving and that made us stronger even without the girls. I love him so much more now that I see what an amazing dad he is. </p> <p>We get snippy when we're tired, and we're tired more but it's no big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-439682 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 02:49:03 +0000 lemondrop 439682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on the day. Lately I feel like we are doing better. A few months ago- not so much. Our strategy: we talk, we can't read minds, and we try to make grown up time happen at least once a week. </p> <p>The baby is a huge bond between us, but he is also a huge stressor. Often we feel like a team mainly because we have to gang up on him in order to survive. We have shorter tempers when stressed, but we are also are even more easygoing to let most things go.</p> <p>We definitely took a big hit financially with me only working part time, and that leads to some moments of panic. We are good at calming each other down and putting things in perspective when insanity strikes. </p> <p>Yes there are plenty of times we want to throttle each other, but that would leave us one on one with the dictator, and that is too scary to think about ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-439599 Sat, 08 Dec 2012 23:48:37 +0000 Nskillet 439599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: Honestly, for me it all came down to honesty and communicating my needs. Id been feeling neglected a bit by DH and I was straight up and told him I wasnt feeling enough passion between us and playa stepped his game up right quick! Lay it on the line sister, all fair in love and marriage! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-439588 Sat, 08 Dec 2012 23:36:42 +0000 littlek 439588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Better. I feel like we are a team now. Before he always put work first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-439565 Sat, 08 Dec 2012 22:51:40 +0000 doodlepoodle 439565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bree72: My response is pretty much exactly this. We're struggling. A lot. </p> <p>@littlecasita1122: I feel the same! My workload and responsibility has increased a lot and his only has somewhat. </p> <p>DH and I had an amazing relationship, I seriously never questioned whether we should get married or not. I'm not saying that I am now, I'm just saying that things were so different before. DS has been an unbelievable blessing and seeing DH as such an amazing father is more than I could have ever imagined. </p> <p>With that said. I work full time and still do a majority of the housework. I get up with J early every morning. I do all the laundry. I generally wash all bottles. Any time we go anywhere I have to be the one to pack DS's things (DH doesn't think of any of the essentials, bottles, wipes, etc etc), I pay the bills...yadda yadda. DH is a full-time student and I realize he's busy, but come on! I need some help. I get so frustrated and I think one of the worst parts is that I don't feel like he appreciates everything I do. </p> <p>Tonight I asked him to fill up the humidifier before he left (we had a ugly sweater party to go to but it conflicts with J's bed time so DH went) anywhodiddle-- he said "You're not doing anything, just do it and it'll be done." That's one of the F E W things he does and it just really pissed me off :( </p> <p>Don't get me wrong, I love love love my husband. He's an amazing father. I just need him to pull his weight and help me out to feel better. I've tried to explain it to him with no real results. *sigh. </p> <p>Wow. LONG RANT! Sorry...I'm a thread-jacker... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-436718 Fri, 07 Dec 2012 00:29:48 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 436718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Worse. At least it was for a while.</p> <p>I would say the past month things have really gotten better.</p> <p>Before that they were pretty bad because I felt he wasn't contributing enough as a parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-436715 Fri, 07 Dec 2012 00:25:33 +0000 sarac 436715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Better in that we have a huge new bond over our daughter. It's an entire other level of intimacy, raising a child, and it's really drawn us together. It's awesome. I love seeing him as a father, it's the sweetest and sexiest thing ever.</p> <p>The flip side is that there's so little time without her. We never have enough time or energy to recharge and to meet our own needs for togetherness and alone-ness. He's really not been pulling his weight with the housework because there's just so many things to do all the time, and that drives me crazy. When he's tired he tends to withdraw and then I feel ignored. We have to be going going going all the time and he hates that, and it's hard on us.</p> <p>There are a ton more challenges in our relationship now and way less time to deal with them. So that can be really, really hard. Overall I'd say we're way better, but that has meant a lot of working through the hard parts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-436563 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 23:21:30 +0000 littlecasita1122 436563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Things were going really well for the first few months and then recently we've hit a rough patch. It's a combo of me going back to work part-time, feeling like the two of us aren't getting enough time together, me feeling stressed in balancing everything, etc. We're working on it but it's probably the hardest things have been the entire time we've been together :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-436323 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 21:55:16 +0000 Mrs. Confetti 436323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely different - we have to work harder to find time for just us and don't always agree on everything in the parenting dept but it's wonderful seeing him as a dad - so heartwarming! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-436167 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 21:16:51 +0000 BananaPancakes 436167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like its definetly suffered since my LO arrived. I feel like I just don't know how to balance being both a great mom and wife at the same time. Plus I feel a bit resentful because my workload has increased so much, and his hasn't. I just never feel like I have any time other than taking care of my son, the house and work. It's a huge stressor in my life right now. I know we'll be fine, but its hard to navigate right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-436143 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 21:09:56 +0000 T-Mom 436143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's different and not always better. Parenting has brought out a lot of communication issues that were not as big deal before kids, but now they come to the surface a lot more and it's so much harder to find time to deal with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-436120 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 21:06:38 +0000 winniebee 436120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think maybe I'm being hard on us. It's definitely different and there are moments of wonderfulness. I guess it's just hard feelig like there is no time for the relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-436022 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:48:18 +0000 hilsy85 436022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say...different? Sometimes I feel like it's better because I love love seeing DH as a daddy and he is SO appreciative of everything I do and how draining it can be taking care of LO 24/7. But sometimes I feel like it's worse because we have no alone time at home and I feel like us as a couple has taken a backseat to me as a mom :( Definitely something I need to work on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-436021 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:48:08 +0000 MamaBehr 436021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is different. It isn't better or worse. We now work toward a very common goal, raising our children to be the best that they can be, which bonds us. But, we don't have the time to worry about "us." However, I love watching my SO as a father, he is so good at it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-435935 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:30:52 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 435935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd say its the same....if anything, it is better because before I had LO, I was super selfish and anal. I would bi-atch and nag if things weren't perfect because I was a little princess. Now that LO is here, I've realized things *are* perfect the way they are;) So, I have become....softer?/nicer?<br /> He's remained the same...which is perfect for me.<br /> If anything...the only downfall to our relationship is that we still haven't DTD because I am not 100% healed up yet:/ So, that is a major damper...Oh well, It's a blessing in disguise cause Lord knows I don't have energy for that stuff, anyways! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-435931 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:29:52 +0000 winniebee 435931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jennylynn: Ditto. I am hoping that once DHs schedule calm down we can get back to basics. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-435919 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:26:42 +0000 autumnlove 435919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Better but we could still make more time as a couple! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-435902 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:23:56 +0000 jennylynn 435902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our isn't as good. :( I feel like there is just so much less time for each other now, and I think we're still figuring out how to balance it all. We're still ok, but I admit somedays I do miss the closeness we used to have, and I hope we can find a way to get some of that back. Although I know neither one of us would ever trade LO for the world! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-435880 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:21:18 +0000 Mrs. Pen 435880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Way better!! We bond more and share a common interest! We get each other more now that we're both parents. Idk if it will always be like this as we encounter hard parenting challenges - I mean really the first year is probably the easiest! </p> <p>We still make time for each other but we were never big on going out before baby anyway so I don't feel we're missing much </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-435864 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:19:18 +0000 prettylizy 435864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Better I think. Before Prettybaby we prioritized things slightly differently, now we both have her as our #1, and our love for her just makes us love eachother more </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-435855 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:18:08 +0000 mediagirl 435855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Surprisingly, it's better. No, we don't get a lot of couple time anymore but we're working so much better as a team now. We are both trying to be better people for her. It's really quite curious when I think about it! My dad even mentioned to me after thanksgiving that we had a great relationship from what he could see - we worked well together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-435847 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:16:29 +0000 Bao 435847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>hmm...I'd say its about the same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-relationship-with-your-so-better-or-worse-after-having-kids#post-434041 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:15:00 +0000 winniebee 434041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had to admit it, but our relationship is not as good as it used to be. There is NO time for each other and my husband has been working so much lately. It's sad, but nurturing our relationship has gone to the bottom of the list. We got a babysitter this weekend so we can have some alone time. </p> <p>What about you? How are you doing post-baby? </p>