https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 05:53:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24731 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 19:09:02 +0000 tejbee 24731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blushink: So sorry you're going through this. My DH is a bean pole, but he definitely has his own vices that affect his health. I can get through to him only so far by talking to him, then there is a block. It is a struggle for sure, but even if he can take a tiny baby step in the right direction, it's still an improvement. Hopefully you and the mister and work this out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24724 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 19:00:03 +0000 MamaMoose 24724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blushink: ugh. I'm sorry. That must be really frustrating. I would just try to gently remind him that you know he's trying hard but what he's doing on his own clearly isn't working. Hopefully it will eventually click for him. I think he needs to want to change before he'll really be able to. I'm sorry you're dealing with this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24719 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 18:48:39 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 24719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: if it's not coming from his doctor directly unfortunately my husband doesn't "believe" in therapy. He believes he knows his own problems and doesn't need to have someone tell him. </p> <p>I know this is frustrating because therapy has helped me in the past but I've tried mentioning therapy on several occasion. (personal and couple) and he's turned it down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24656 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:31:30 +0000 BSB 24656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, my husband is and his doctors are worried about his weight. He does have a chronic illness which has gotten worse lately and so he needs to be on sometimes high doses of steroids. His meds and his illness is causing him to gain weight. My husband was skinny when we first started dating. Then he was pretty athletic for about 5 years. He recently in the last year started gaining more weight. </p> <p>It's hard because his illness makes it hard for him to exercise since the steriods make his joints hurt. </p> <p>I know it worries him about his weight, I'm more worried about his chronic illness more than anything. Once we have that controlled, then we can deal with his weight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24652 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:24:36 +0000 MamaMoose 24652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you tried asking him to start seeing a therapist who could possibly help him understand why he eats so much and why he is not motivated to change despite what his doctor has told him and the fact that you really need him to change for the benefit of your growing family?</p> <p>I think he needs an outsider to help him. It will also help YOU because you won't feel like you have to be the enemy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24556 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 16:00:25 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 24556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: Aw! I'm sorry to hear that. My husband father and brother have alchohol issues and glad he doesn't but it still doesn't make it easier. :( Hope things work out for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24477 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 14:48:57 +0000 DillonLion 24477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband isn't terribly overweight, but he has gained probably around 30-40 lbs since we've been together and he is only 5'8. He isn't happy with his weight and none of his old clothes fit anymore. But he refuses to exercise and his weight gain is largely due to a pretty heavy drinking problem...so it is pretty complicated on our end. Moreso than just having to clean up a diet or exercise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24435 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 14:02:03 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 24435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: Oh the fights!!! Yup. Not fun! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24423 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:51:39 +0000 mediagirl 24423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: Yeah and bringing it up can just start a fight. Oh, the fights. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24422 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:50:43 +0000 mediagirl 24422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TheFixIts: the hard thing about some people (and I'm not sure if BlushInk's husband is like this too) is they don't lose weight just by changing their eating habits. My husband has done this and he hasn't lost a pound. It is so hard because I get the "I hate to work out" feeling. I'm there with him on that. I'm fortunate with my weight, though so I don't "have" to work out. It's such a hard dilemma to be in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24418 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:49:15 +0000 mediagirl 24418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blushink: my husband is overweight, as well. He has gained about 100lbs since we first met. He was too skinny when we first met but he's about 60-80lbs overweight at this point. He doesn't like to work out (I don't either). I try to motivate him to go for walks but how do I do that when I don't want to - then I want him to go for a walk but he doesn't want to. We get into fights because I don't want to tell him I'm upset he's overweight but I get upset about it and then I get bitchy and take other things out on him that I shouldn't, this causes big fights b/c he doesn't' know why I'm really mad.</p> <p>He says he wants to get healthy for this baby but I don't see it. He has had some medical issues and those aren't helping either. I don't have any words of wisdom, I can just say I'm in the same boat and I don't know what to do either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24412 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:42:26 +0000 Maysprout 24412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blushink: That stinks. My husband tore his ACL and it retore when he had it fixed. Thats what got him into biking since it doesnt require an acl. Its also a grreat way to lose weight since it's not putting weight on the knees but you can still get your heart rate up. A lot of areas have free group rides to go out on and they can be fun even for beginners. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24403 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:37:39 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 24403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: He used to play tennis and badminton, but now that he has a hurt shoulder it doesn't help. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24401 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:34:42 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 24401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband isn't overweight. Weight is such a touchy issue, and I am sorry you have to go through this. I feel like no amount of advice or encouragement can convince a person to change. They have to want to do it themselves. I say this from experience trying to help my mother and brothers quit smoking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24389 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:25:34 +0000 Mrs. Bee 24389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>this is a tough one. do you think a heart to heart conversation intervention style would help, where you lay out your concerns, especially now that you will have two kids? maybe even get family involved? it sounds like he's trying to avoid the issue, and maybe he needs to be forced to face how serious it really is?</p> <p>i'm really sorry... i can't imagine how tough this must be! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24371 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:16:41 +0000 Maysprout 24371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He's thinner. I'm a runner and so he got more into running when we started dating and he was a biker before but got super into road biking so is all bones and muscle no matter how much he eats. Finding a good athletic activity to get into might help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24357 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:11:56 +0000 safdxb 24357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My hubby is a good 70 lbs heavier than when we started dating and nearly a 100 lbs overweight. What was once a little chub has turned into a real problem, with his doctors really getting on him lately about his weight. I've done everything over the years to try and help him get fit, we joined a gym, I got personal training sessions both at the gym and at home where it would just be the 3 of us, set up a home gym for him, we've gone away to a boot camp together for 2 weeks, everything to make this as easy as possible. We got a puppy in the spring, and I noticed that he was walking the dog at first, which was good exercise for him, but now I mostly walk the dog and he only does on weekends. I'm the one who does all the cooking and grocery shopping in the family, which allows me to control what exactly he eats when he's at home, but because he works long hours I can't control what he eats when he isn't home, mostly junk and fast food in large portions. </p> <p>At this point I've told him I was tired of trying so hard, and with a baby on the way I wanted him to take responsibility for his weight. I was raised to eat healthy and be active, which is something I want to pass onto my kids, and I don't want him to feel left out because he can't or won't be involved. </p> <p>I am interested to see if anyone has been successful though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24356 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:11:37 +0000 Andrea 24356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hear you, too. I am thinner than when we met but my DH is waaaaaaay heavier. I really think there isn't anything you can do unless he makes up his own mind to make a change. I keep our food healthy at home but I can't stop him from eating junk at work ... which is why he never loses weight no matter what I have him eating at home since he's at work most of the time. </p> <p>That is scary about what the doctor told your hubs though. I would hope that would scare him into making a change but I guess it hasn't because he is waiting until he can get the surgery? </p> <p>This is a toughie...it has been a sore spot between the DH and I for years so I don't have any good tactics. I definitely sympathize. :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24349 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:07:33 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 24349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Exactly, he needs self motivation and seriously in the last 5 years, I've tried it all. I understand he eats his emotions, good or bad, and that's is an eating disorder, but how do you help someone who doesn't think needs help?</p> <p>It's tough, and I still try and be supportive, It's tough though when he says I have a few pounds to share (in a weight convo) but then he doesn't think he has an issue. sucks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24324 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:47:35 +0000 tequiero21 24324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ugh. i hear you. my husband gained at least 80 pounds since we started dating. i'm really not sure what to do. he has to motivate himself because he won't listen to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24320 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:44:39 +0000 pelikila 24320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is overweight by about 20-30 lbs (I still need to lose 10-15 lbs myself). He doesn't exercise and hasn't seen any reason to change his diet (ice cream every night, fast food for lunch several times a week, drinks diet coke like it is water) though he complains about how he feels. When he does complain, the only thing I acknowledge or say is that he is the only one that can make a change for himself and do something about it. I am about to start jogging again in the mornings. He jogged with me before he tore his ACL 2+ years ago but has been unwilling to get back to it without me. Now that I am no longer pregnant or breastfeeding, I'm about to start back up but he won't be able to join me because someone has to stay in the house for the baby. I'm hoping that leading by example will encourage him to maybe do his jog in the evenings. Also, I'm going to try to start cooking again to help make healthier meal choices at least for one of his meals and once I take back over the grocery shopping duties the diet coke and ice cream will no longer be coming into the house unless he makes the effort for himself. I wish I had advice to help you but I don't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24313 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:35:53 +0000 Mrsbells 24313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is slightly overweight. He could lose atleast 20-30lbs to be normal weight. He was much lighter when we first met, I guess because he was very active then. He does make an effort to lose weight but then eats too much and slacks. I have told him that by the time I lose my baby weight he had better be in shape. Its silly that his belly is bigger than mine and I'm pregnant!</p> <p>Its hard because I've always been skinny so I always eat high calorie foods and snacks and then he joins me </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24312 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:34:08 +0000 TheFixIts 24312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband has always been a "big guy", but we have both gained a bit of weight since we've been together. I appreciate that we often make joint efforts together - but when one of us gets on a health kick and the other doesn't it's hoplessly maddening. I do think the best answer is teamwork. </p> <p>Similarly, the therapist in me can't help but highlight the emotional component. Over-eating is disordered eating. It can have severe health effects - just as clinical as anorexia or bulimia. It's worth digging deeper into the issue! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24307 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:21:48 +0000 Rosie Girl 24307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you join weight watchers together? Or join a gym? It seems that if you are paying for something, you will participate a little more so that you don't waste money! </p> <p>I'm sorry he isn't staying motivated. I don't know what you could do (other then suggested) that you haven't done already. I hope that he starts taking it seriously and gets motivated on his own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24300 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:15:03 +0000 MaisyMay 24300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My hubs is the slim one in our relationship. He was a college athlete and has maintained his slender figure, and would actually like to gain another 10 pounds or so. I, on the other hand, would love to lose about 20 for now, and then another 30 or so later.</p> <p>My advice to you is to encourage with inclusion. Try asking him to join you on walks, if you do most of the cooking make sure it's really healthy, stuff like that. If you nag, and I am NOT saying that you are, it will discourage him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/is-your-so-overweight#post-24286 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:06:46 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 24286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know there was a thread about your health and body in the last couple of years and it got me wondering if your SO is overweight and if he/she is doing anything about it.</p> <p>Since I started dating the hubs, he was 140lbs lighter. I won't hide that I was 30 lbs lighter too, but i still have baby weight to lose. (and then some) </p> <p>It really bothered me to know that the hubs gained 40 lbs when I was pregnant with my first (I only gained 30lbs and I was the PREGNANT one!) Now clearly his weight is affecting his lifestyle and our relationship. </p> <p>He's been getting hurt because of his weight, and the doctor told him if he didn't take care of himself he'd have a heart attack by the age of 40! (which is super scary knowing his mother has health problems) </p> <p>I just find it hard, because I love my husband but I don't think he understands the issues in it's full complexity and clearly I don't want my children to be fatherless in a couple of years. I've tried making him healthy meals, and participating with im so that he feels motivated but nothing has worked. He just keeps gaining.</p> <p>Then the hubs got hurt at work and has been on disablitly since. Now it's affecting our finances and seeing we have another baby on the way, it scares me for what can be next. The doctor decided to give him diet pills and told him if he didn't lose 100 lbs in 1 year, he would have to go the surgery route. </p> <p>I DON"T WANT THAT AT ALL... yet I think he sees the pills and the surgery as an easy way out. He doesn't excercise, his sex drive is really low, the fact that he's hurt and can't work isn't making him motivated at all. I keep telling him if he can't do it for himself to do it for the future of his kids, but I can't be his mother anymore. I'm tired and I don't know what to do. </p> <p>Is your SO overweight? Anybody have advice to make this momma feel better?! (or make her hubs lose weight?!) </p>